angelicmalware

[angelicmalware]

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

[angelicmalware]

can i share something heinous

[angelicmalware]

Fat people can be elegant and gothic and scary in a hot way and mysterious and tragically beautiful. These aesthetics aren't locked to a particular body type.

[angelicmalware]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[angelicmalware]

in my restless dreams

[angelicmalware]

[angelicmalware]

BRANDON LEE as ERIC DRAVEN THE CROW (1994)

[angelicmalware]

[angelicmalware]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the only one stopping you from lurking around an ancient ruin, dressing like a disgraced nobleman, and duelling everyone who comes your way, is yourself. 

[angelicmalware]

good morning. lets go over your assignments for the day:

for all boys/men/mascs: today you're going to draw the first pet you ever had in mspaint (or any other simple art program available.)

for all girls/women/femmes: today you're going to write a poem for a stranger you remember from your real life that stuck in your mind, despite your very brief window of knowing them.

for all nonbinary/androgynous people: break day, so you get silent reading time in the bean bag chairs.

[angelicmalware]

gonna download the extremely bad 3rd party dnd sex book so I can laugh at it

[angelicmalware]

i will never dig a hole two fingers beneath this sternum to bury myself / holy, holy, holy, holy

tip jar ♡ patreon ♡ print shop ♡ newsletter

[angelicmalware]

I can feel my teeth falling out of my face right now!

[angelicmalware]

[angelicmalware]

“Don’t wait until the last minute to do your assignments!”

listen. I don’t. But I am always trapped in a vicious cycle.

And the only thing that breaks this cycle is the dread of an imminent deadline

[angelicmalware]

looking at that one booktok post and didn’t realize how funny this is. uou do not know what a safe word is

[angelicmalware]

you bottle Miette??