anonymousedward

[anonymousedward]

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

[anonymousedward]

I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.

[anonymousedward]

God Bless people who dress wild and go out in public. I love seeing a woman in all pink with pink hair and pink nails, with a tiny dog in a pink outfit in her bag. Or a massively goth dude covered in piercings sporting a giant green mohawk. Cosplayers. SCA reenactors. Ren Faire people. There’s nothing I love more than a pair of handsome young men walking around in Revolutionary War outfits. Just please keep dressing wild and freaky. You bring color to life, and it never fails to put a big smile on my face.

[anonymousedward]

You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.

By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.

I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?

[anonymousedward]

Let’s be honest - Everest should be cut off from climbers, and the only people that should be allowed up there are ppl who volunteer to clean up all the garbage and human excrement adrenaline junkies have left up there over the decades, and anyone who volunteers to attempt to bring down any bodies of those who died.

The ascent is too dangerous, too many ill-equipped and unprepared climbers try to make the climb, and too much garbage is piling up and poisoning the run off that communities around Everest rely on to live.

[anonymousedward]

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

[anonymousedward]

Dbh stands for detroit become homosexual

[anonymousedward]

[anonymousedward]

@batneko

Art by Lora Zombie

[anonymousedward]

Kind of hilarious to me how poorly the title "Mob Psycho 100" localized to English-speaking areas. To someone whose first language is English, it scans as:

Mob (Yakuza, Mafia)

Psycho (violent person with "crazy" behaviors)

Thus: a particularly violent member of organized crime.

But in Japanese it scans as:

Mob (background characters in crowd scenes in manga or anime)

Psycho (short for psychic)

Thus: a psychic who looks/acts like someone you'd never pick out of a crowd scene in a comic.

[anonymousedward]

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

[anonymousedward]

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

[anonymousedward]

[anonymousedward]

[anonymousedward]

my commission for @anonymousedward of a scene from their stupid, sexy hank series. had to go with the bbq scene and hank being a harlot for drinking from such a phallic glass!!! (it's just a beer bottle LMAO) i am loving this little series and i can't wait for more, and i had so much fun working on this!

be sure to check out my ☕️ (link in pinned post) for c/mmission info! direct link and full size image link in reblogs

ps: please direct all grievances about connor's attire to ed LMAO while they were explaining his fit to me, i was just like dear god leave this man some dignity 💀💀 but ed said NOPE, and honestly we love them for that 🤣🤣❤️

[anonymousedward]

[anonymousedward]

Pulp sci-fi illustration by Italian artist, Aldo Di Gennaro (b. 1938).