anruraiocht

[anruraiocht]

𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝: a little assortment of prompts revolving around painful, bottled up affection and endless yearning, as well as the possible result of finally taking action. remember to tag your dark themes. add +reverse to swap the roles.

[ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] : receiver notices sender looking at them longingly. [ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ] : receiver hears sender calling their name while asleep. [ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 ] : sender drapes a coat / cape / etc. around receiver's shoulders. [ 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : receiver is hugging a coat / cape / etc. that belongs to the sender. [ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 ] : sender is helping the receiver through a panic attack / severe anxiety. [ 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 ] : sender takes a hold of receiver's both hands. [ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are spooning for comfort and warmth. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are finally about to kiss, but are interrupted. [ 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 ] : sender and receiver are finally sharing a passionate kiss. [ 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ] : sender has just found the receiver who's been missing for weeks. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 ] : after being misinformed that the sender has died, receiver is grieving. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 ] : sender is expressing anger over receiver's constant recklessness. [ 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] : sender is voicing their negative opinion about a person who appears to be close with the receiver. [ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 ] : sender has just told receiver "you belong to me". [ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 ] : sender has just asked receiver "why don't you love me". [ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender has harmed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦 ] : sender has killed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 ] : sender has gotten injured protecting the receiver. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 ] : sender is getting frustrated with their repressed affection and asks receiver to leave them alone. [ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. [ 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 ] : sender is apologising for appearing cold. [ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 ] : sender is telling receiver they "deserve better than whatever this is".

#👑 ooc #👑 ask memes #//miranda can have it too. ok bye again back to my thesis cave :wave: see you in a few weeks

[anruraiocht]

god's least favorite princess

the funniest and meanest joke kaga ever played on miranda is related to her birthday and this is why i decided to give miranda an april birthday

You may have noticed that promotional material tends to refer to Miranda as 14 years old in the year 776, but in chapter 16A, Conomor has this to say:

(Miranda) is just a lass of 15 years… She's much too young to die in some darkened monastery, far from home… (Lil Manster TL)

Funny line coming from the guy who will never actually try to get her out no matter the route btw.

Anyway our options here are:

Typo/One source or the other is just incorrect (Boring boooooooooooo)

Conomor doesn't actually know how old Miranda is (Funny, I always knew he was a fraud)

Miranda's birthday happened somewhere between the start of the game but before May (17B)(Extremely funny, this is what I believe)

But the thing is, Conomor only shares this information on route A. You can't recruit Miranda on route A because Leif never goes to Melfiye and you can kill/capture the only guy (Conomor) who knows where she is. You can only find out her birthday happened if you inadvertently leave her for dead.

By the year 776, she has already been in the monastery for a whole year at that point... which also means she has potentially spent two birthdays there depending on when exactly she first arrived.

happy birthday miranda your present is: basement

#👑 ooc #👑 hc/meta #//i've talked about this before but here it is by itself for her birthday. bc i dont have time for anything else #//my apologies also to the youtuber i yoinked the screenshot from #//miranda's life is so deeply tragic. but also so funny. sorry.

[anruraiocht]

boops

...Is this some new game she's playing that Miranda has never heard of before? Should she be mad? Is this normal? Is this just what friends do?

#toaaprilfools #shadoll #//to explain miranda does not have access to the funny boops for whatever reason. girl said everyone dni

[anruraiocht]

march activity check

status: passed

skill points gained: 2 (14)

march activity check: any +1 | reason c+ > c+ 1/2 boel participation: any +1 | reason c+ 1/2 > b

claims:

tbd

#👑 ooc #toaactivity

[anruraiocht]

Up on the makeshift stage constructed for the festival, a student from the School of Sorcery stands, smile wide and radiant. Sparkling from their fingertips are flashes of light that they weave together to create the impression of moving images. A dragon flying through the air, a dancer on the tips of her toes, a group of children running through the open fields; they skillfully create beautiful visages with nothing but the magic dancing at their fingertips.

It is no surprise that the student on the stage is the top student of their school. Their mastery of magic is clear in how seamlessly they switch between different kinds of magic to create a cohesive experience. They switch between types of magic effortlessly, bright smile never leaving their face.

Breathless, they bow to signal the end of the show, crackles of lightning magic exploding around them like mini fireworks.

Beautiful and oh so impractical. A show of talent in the truest sense of the word. Flashy magic like that would take much too long to cast on the battlefield, where split second choices decide life and death.

Even so, when the curtains fall, Miranda turns to the person next to her to gush, "Did you see that?! The control necessary to switch between types of magic so quickly without exertion showing on their face! And to cast such large scale magic without even scorching the stage in the process!"

A beat, as she realizes the person standing next to her is not, in fact, a stranger.

"...P-Prince Leif." Color gathering in her cheeks, she clears her throat awkwardly. "Ahem. I did not realize you held such an interest in magic."

@diadic

it's SHOWTIME

recovery: reason +1

#👑 ic #👑 thread: it's SHOWTIME #👑 support: leif #diadic #//prince leif lets learn how to have fun. together.

[anruraiocht]

"You...!" Miranda pokes Sara's forehead with the pointer finger of her free hand. "Do not tease me just to get a rise out of me! Do not think that I can not see what you're doing!"

Perhaps the onus is on her for being too indulgent. She could have just as easily snatched her hand back. Even now, she continues to let Sara do whatever she wants with her hand. She could justify it, saying that Sara does whatever she likes anyway, so what's the point in stopping her?

Perhaps she simply enjoys the warmth of her hand in another. It's always rather cold in the fall, after all. It's easy to forget the chill running around Gronder Field, but sitting down in the medical tent the cool breeze is slightly more noticeable.

Or maybe she's just always been terribly lonely.

"If my spirit alone were enough to carry me, I would still be out there," Miranda says as she leans back, cot shifting under her weight. "I need to put forth more effort going forward if I want to see change. I know this and yet...!"

There are further shackles: her status, the expectations placed on her because of it, and even her own body. Back when it had been her own survival, her spirit alone had been enough to carry her through from day to day. It had been all she had to herself, the one thing she could keep in her desperation for survival above all else.

But the world is so much bigger than the single room she had paced until her feet were raw.

"...Aah! I can't help being mad, though! What an undignified way to lose!"

Color floods Miranda's face, the blush so furious Sara can only stare and crane her neck for a better view, looking for all the world like she cannot fathom what caused it. This is how Miranda should always be. Loud and blindingly bright like a firecracker. Not some meek thing behind bars caged, her freedoms restricted. Sara could watch the litany of emotions play across her face all day and never grow bored of contemplating them. Miranda is the migratory bird that never fails to return, roosting in the palm Sara reserves for her, sprouting new plummage each year. As the seasons turn, they continue to find each other in new ways.

Because Miranda has had change forced upon her and adapted accordingly to survive. Developed claws and fangs for protection that she struggles to retract. Sara who has been raised by monsters knows the difference, of course. The real ones would eat Miranda alive. Miranda is just a girl pretending to be a monster.

"Is that how you see it?"

This time, she brings Miranda's hand to her cheek as though to share body heat, to melt the frost that still has its frigid clutches sunk into her friend. Sara's eyes slip closed, thoughtful.

"Because I don't" is how she starts bluntly. "We are not bound to the destiny fate has planned for us. Rather than the strong or weak, those who possess indomitable spirits decide the course of this world and shape the future."

Sara knows it may be unfair to say as much especially as a witness to the effort Miranda puts into everything she does, but she cannot coddle Miranda even at her lowest. She cannot supply what she was never given growing up. Miranda must understand Sara will not change for anyone.

#👑 ic #toaboel2024 #shadoll #👑 support: sara #//putting your writing in my mouth and running

[anruraiocht]

Miranda nods. It doesn't particularly matter if Sara sees or not.

Someone who doesn't know Sara may think her conceited words are just that, words. Miranda, though, knows it to be the truth. Sara is one of the strongest people she knows, blessed with power that she could chase after for her whole life and never manage catch up to. Miranda herself is a fairly talented mage in her own right, but Sara is on an entirely different level altogether.

She was the kind of girl that could walk into the dark and gloomy basement of a monastery unhindered, after all.

Miranda had always needed to scratch and claw her way to her feet in the same breath that Sara could effortlessly stand up. Still, rather than resent her like she did with that girl with silver hair and sad eyes, she had latched on to the slightly strange girl that had been her only companion in an otherwise solitary existence.

In that dreary place, Sara's presence had been brighter to her than even the sun that couldn't pierce through the thick layer of leaves in Melfiye.

"I do not wish to be powerless ever again," she says aloud, finally. "Enough that nothing is ever taken from my grasp ever again. I am tired of feeling things slip through my fingers because I lack the power to keep them."

She doesn't know how to make that happen. Not for herself and not for Sara, who is so much stronger than her. But she wishes for it all the same.

Ulster's princess has always been willful.

Miranda's eyes flutter open again at a sensation on her knuckles. The scene of Gronder Field and the medical tent is unchanged from when she had closed them. The only difference is that the clasped hand between them is now lifted to Sara's lips.

"C-clearly!" Miranda blusters at the sudden intimacy, cheeks flushed bright red. "It's not as though I am about to chase down anyone for attacking me in a mock battle, of all things!"

Of all that has been stolen of Ulster's Princess, this is far from the greatest offense. Sara frowns for a different reason before unbeknowst to even herself. Her fingers halt, allowing the silence to swell between them, and yet she does not let go even then. When clouds heavy with rain cast their gloomy spell over Melfiye, Miranda had been the hearth she knelt by while the storm raged outside. She was a warm body in a cold cell. A brittle candle stubbornly burning in a dark place that Sara did not wish to see go out.

"I have never been weak," she says simply like a fact.

It isn't exactly that she considers Miranda weak either, though the difference in their ability couldn't be more clear, and she has known since the day they met that the spirits do not favor Miranda as much as her.

"But even the strong can be powerless."

And Sara will never deny the strengths Miranda does have. The fire that consumes her, kindled by her own bones. Maybe that is what it means to truly and deeply feel any attachment to anything.

She lifts and guides Miranda's hand towards herself, presses her lips against the knuckles without really thinking about it, and pulls away to breathe, "It doesn't really matter. You can't do anything about it now, right? Just pay back whoever it was next year."

#👑 ic #shadoll #👑 support: sara #toaboel2024 #//reply so good i had to get up and pace around my apartment when i got it #//sorry to hand you back a novel. im normal.

[anruraiocht]

🧃

“Hi Miss Princess! This is for you!” He handed her a carton of juice, a bright expression on his face. “See it as a prize for effort!”

Miranda vaguely recognized the boy approaching her as another student in the Blue Lions. They had likely attended the same Reason seminar a number of times, if she had to venture a guess. He did look rather young, but she supposed that she was also around that age when she had traveled with Prince Leif and his army.

It was an odd feeling. She had been one of the younger members back then, but now she could look at others and think, "how young!"

She bristled at his approach, imagining the young mage had come to poke fun at her. He did not, though, instead handing her some sort of small container. Her harsh expression eased into one of confusion.

"This is...?"

Miranda inspected the carton handed to her. Juice? She had never seen it delivered in a carton before, only in goblets, but the labeling was clear enough. The box was quite cute even, emblazoned with a picture of fruit to denote the flavor.

...Either way, she wasn't sure failing to attack even once constituted "effort" on her part, but there was little she could say in the face of such bright eyed and bushy tailed earnestness.

"I thank you for your kindness, then."

#👑 ic #toaboel2024 #optimismxmagicism #👑 support: ewan #//ty this was cute! ewan is a sweetheart haha #//not letting anyone forget how out of touch miranda is. shes the “wtf is a hamburger” type

[anruraiocht]

Ah, she completely misunderstood again. Miranda grits her teeth, face flushed at the embarrassment of having jumped to conclusions. This always happened whenever the two of them spoke, regardless of the topic.

"I always thought you to be so rowdy," she huffs in return. "I did not know any other boys our age, so I thought they were all like you and wondered how Princess Nanna could bear to spend the whole day with you. You were so energetic running around my castle that I thought you could do anything, Prince Leif."

And truly, she had thought the world of him back then. Those had been the happiest days of her life, even if he did not look back on them with the same fondness she did.

"I would have liked to be more like my father rather than... this," she says with a self-derisive smile. "I probably would not get so mad with you if I were more like him."

She had been much closer when she was younger, she thinks. When she was still young enough to hide behind her mother's leg at the sight of strangers, she was the kind of cute princess that people wanted. She had been mild mannered like her father rather than the spitfire she had turned out to be. Time and circumstances had filed all of her rough edges to a raw, sharp point.

"And yet you would say you like me better like this, temper and all?"

misery loves company

boel post-battle, medical tent

#👑 ic #👑 thread: misery loves company #toaboel2024 #👑 support: leif #diadic

[anruraiocht]

If Sara wanted, Miranda would have continued to talk to herself about whatever came to mind, including all of her complaints about the way the day had gone. There is no expectation of responses between the two of them, just the quiet knowledge that the other is listening and will respond whenever they wish to. This is the comfortable rhythm of their relationship.

"My hand?" The sensation has long since become numb to Miranda, but Sara's thumb tracing her palm does feel noticeably warm. "I was frozen earlier during the battle."

It's silly. She prided herself so much on having the most natural aptitude for fire magic, but not only had she gotten hit with someone else's Fire spell, her own hadn't been strong enough to melt the ice that had frozen her fingers together until it was already too late.

She could summon a flame now with ease if she so desired, but it would be meaningless now that the moment is over. The same could be said about any posturing she could make about what would have happened if she had dodged that first hit.

Miranda closes her eyes, "I lost my chance to fight back entirely. I could do nothing but stand there."

The bandages are only for show she could easily protest. If the discomfort were severe enough to qualify as hurt, Sara would have sought Nanna out instead to fix the problem because that's just what Nanna does.

When most people notice another feeling down, they race to lower themselves to that level to extend their sympathies. To confer sanctimonious wisdoms that for all the truths they contain fall on ears that cannot hear them. Even in the midst of wild competition, the Hero-King had halted, bending a knee to look down on her, his words still buzzing in Sara's ears. But she does not want anyone's pity, or worse, lecture and fortunately Miranda offers neither.

For once, Leif could not be further from her mind. Even the mention of him barely registers, gaze yet still to meet any part of Miranda but the hand she takes in her own.

"Why is your hand cold?" Sara remarks with some small show of surprise, fingers crawling across it to confirm the discovery.

Though she doesn't turn to look at Miranda, her sudden interest is apparent. Gently, she flips their joined hands, the pad of a thumb sweeping over Miranda's palm that typically bears the brunt of spells cast by mages.

#👑 ic #shadoll #👑 support: sara #toaboel2024 #//sara said nuh uh miranda we're passing the bechdel test today girl

[anruraiocht]

Miranda snaps back, "It is a hypothetical question, Prince Leif! I do not truly expect you to be omniscient when you did not even remember I existed!"

But after her initial snipe back, she falls silent. She's the one who asked the question and here she is letting her temper get the better of her before he can even finish giving his answer. She bites the tongue that wants to say more, letting the pain quell her mounting irritation.

"...I know that the me who did not grow up within that house does not exist." The stain that existed on her soul from growing up in that house would never go away. It might fade, but she would always know it was there. "I do not think they ever would have allowed me to leave with you nor would I have wished to leave my parents."

She had dreamed of what life would have been like if the three of them had left together, had been so fiercely jealous of their life outside the bounds of Ulster's castle, but she could never fill in the details. What would it actually have been like? Who would she be, if not Ulster's only princess?

She does not have an answer.

"It was a foolish question, but I thank you for answering earnestly, regardless."

But it's always one step forward and two steps back with them.

"Wh- Freaked out?!" Miranda's voice shoots up an octave. "How rude!Do you mean to tell me that I freak you out?!"

misery loves company

boel post-battle, medical tent

#👑 ic #👑 thread: misery loves company #👑 support: leif #diadic #toaboel2024 #//dont mind me also sending this back while ur playing mario kart

[anruraiocht]

He arrives at the medical tent sooner than Miranda would have expected. Not a full round later like she would have expected, but quite soon after she had arrived. Back then and now, she has always thought him to be stronger than he truly was.

Try as they might, neither of them were as strong as Miranda imagined. There's always someone else more capable or something that stands in their way. So they walk back to lick their wounds, knowing that when they try again, it will end the same as ever.

Miranda stomps up to Leif (after he gets his wounds treated, she isn't a monster), but not to berate him like he might expect. That isn't to say the expression on her face is particularly welcoming. She looks quite sour in fact to be here and to see him here.

"I do not want your sympathy, Prince Leif! I would not have wished for you to go easy on me simply because I am a girl... even if you were swinging that axe around like a madman. But answer me one question."

Miranda's hands ball into trembling fists and she looks up at Leif's face.

"If I had gone with you that day that you and Princess Nanna left, would I still be this weak?"

@diadic

misery loves company

boel post-battle, medical tent

#👑 ic #👑 thread: misery loves company #👑 support: leif #diadic #toaboel2024

[anruraiocht]

@shadoll asked:

Sara isn't sulking. She just has little desire to entertain the Academy's staff and volunteers who crowd her when she finally makes her way to the medical tents stationed at the edge of the field. Though her demeanor does not quite approach on unruly, Sara cannot be considered a model patient either. Not a single word has been spoken by her since she entered the space, eyes listlessly sifting through the faces for one she can take comfort in.

Arms tightly wound across her frame, she trudges over to Miranda, shaking off the hand of a cleric bidding her not to move around too much. But she does not particularly care about anyone else's wishes save for her own right now. Barely even looks at Miranda before plopping down beside her in silence.

The mattress sinks, stirring some dust, and Sara's cheeks vaguely puff as a child's might.

For Miranda, the battle is over before it ever really begins. Without attacking even once, she is among the first to return to the medical tent. The clerics on duty try to soothe her with empty platitudes that she "tried her best" and "there's always next year". She already knows, though, that even if she had managed to get a hit in, the result would always be the same.

In all of their games, she would always be the loser.

It's so endlessly frustrating.

The pain is gone by now, but tears prick at her eyes nonetheless. It's childish and unbecoming of her to cry at her age, but she feels the tears come nevertheless. The only thing holding her back from letting her tears fall is the gentle trickle of people into the tent as battles wage on.

Miranda hurriedly wipes her eyes with her sleeve when she sees Sara enter the tent. Not that Sara, who had seen her at her worst, hasn't seen her cry, but she wants to cling to that last shred of dignity.

"You, too?" She sighs when Sara sits down next to her without a word. "Don't complain to me if it hurts later, okay? You already know I can't do anything to help."

Or so she says, but she extends her hand if Sara wants it.

"Prince Leif sent me here with his axe. Can you believe the nerve of him?"

#👑 ic #toaboel2024 #👑 support: sara #shadoll #//sore losers a and b....... #//lovely as always to see sara in my inbox :pien:

[anruraiocht]

Miranda is not having a very good day. Like, at all. First they send her out on to the field with a tall man wearing a frankly very distracting hat and a silent person with abnormal cat eyes and then they tell her that her opponent is none other than Leif. And all she has for a weapon is a parasol and a dinky little Fire tome against his axe.

Fantastic. Great.

"Prince Leif, I do not need you to remind me to-" His axe clips her and she hisses in pain. "Watch where you're swinging that thing! Are you a prince or a beast?!"

But they are not the only ones on the field, evidenced by the fact that she takes two spells to the face after this. First a blast of fire by the girl with pink hair and then a cold front from the girl with hair a redder tone that freezes her hand in place. Not even a single finger can twitch enough to either draw her sword (parasol) or cast a spell.

Miranda is frozen!

Her own teammates are unhindered and she can do nothing but watch as their own attacks connect. Once again, she is put in a position removed from choice, forced to only stand idly.

By the time feeling returns to her fingers, Leif is already back on her again.

Miranda 0/6HP Miranda is defeated!

If this were a real battle, she would surely be dead. It isn't, so she not only can, but must, retreat. To be alive is a mercy not granted on a real battlefield. She can only tuck her tail between her legs and retreat before taking any real lasting damage.

Before she leaves, Miranda addresses her teammates one last time over her shoulder: "I won't ask you to win after I myself have been defeated, but I will ask that you make them work for it. Understand?"

To the greater group at large, she announces, "I am withdrawing to the medical tent now. I am no more use here."

There, they will dress her wounds. Her wounded pride is hers along to nurse, however, and now that she can move her hands again, they ball into fists at her sides.

Kill this guy for me @knighteclipsed

freaks and royals — boel round 1 battle 6

#👑 ic #👑 thread: freaks and royals #toaboel2024 #diadic #gentlenekomata #hydrangeaceae #beholdenning #knighteclipsed #//easiest combat thread of my life tbqh #//sorry for the long post omfg

[anruraiocht]

There's a certain disconcerting feeling that accompanies seeing someone you have come to associate with a certain location divorced from that location. Like seeing one of your neighbors shopping at a store two towns over, for example. There's no reason why they can't exist outside of the boundaries that you've arbitrarily set for them, but it still feels wrong, doesn't it?

This is more or less how Miranda feels standing behind those silvery pigtails at the School of Sorcery's demonstration. By all means, there's no reason why she can't be there, but it still takes Miranda off guard to see her out in public like this. Not as a ghost haunting different wings of the same house, but as a member of the crowd at a festival.

Just a normal girl.

Miranda could leave, pretend she had never seen the other girl. It's not like this would be the only show nor she is incapable of casting her own spells. Most of the spells she knew existed for the purpose of incapacitating enemies and not just fun little parlor tricks, but the methodology in their casting is probably similar.

Yes, she could simply leave and come back later were the sight of the other girl awkwardly hesitating not driving her up the wall! The students from the other school look absolutely desperate for volunteers to teach and here is one of Thrud's own trying to avoid eye contact! Who knows how long she might stand there shuffling her feet if left alone? Even if Miranda were to leave and come back, there's no guarantee she would summon the heart to step forward in that time.

Miranda's will finally cracks and she steps up next to Tine, hands on her hips.

"Look, are you going to join in or just stand there gaping like a fish?! They could not more clearly be looking for volunteers!"

@absolvingagony

futari wa pretty c—

recovery: reason +1

#👑 ic #👑 thread: futari wa pretty c- #👑 support: tine #absolvingagony #//i've never seen precure but i wanted a magical girl title and they wear black and white

[anruraiocht]

He is right, of course, as much as she resents that.

"...The world is different now than we were younger. I know that," Miranda sighs.

The fact that she is here at all and not rotting in a Loptr monastery deep in the woods is proof of that. That the two of them are able to carry a fully grown unconscious man is also proof of that. Just a few short years ago, they would have struggled with such a task. Maybe not Leif with his near endless stamina, but Miranda's muscles certainly would have strained under the weight.

The people who had wanted them dead, had made their lives living hell, were dead now. Whether it be by their own hands or having perished in the war, the people who had given them chase had vanished from this world one after another.

"Did you know, Prince Leif? I still cannot believe my door here locks from the inside. Sometimes I fear that one day I will wake up to find my door locked from the outside once more. No matter how many times I check the lock, the fear persists. I do not wish to live the rest of my life in fear, but the things we suffered are not easily forgotten."

The limp man's head lolls to the side and Miranda pushes it away from her own head with a hand. Even if she feels guilty for knocking the poor guy out, she doesn't particularly want his breath on her neck, either.

She clears her throat as if embarrassed to be so forthright, "A-anyway! You are correct! I took this seminar because I wished to be stronger. I would not be running around in the forest otherwise."

passage of time

           ⤷ non-mission task: recovery ( sword +1 )

#👑 ic #👑 thread: passage of time #👑 support: leif #diadic #//another adventure in “this was already done why didnt past me post this?????”

[anruraiocht]

"Nothing?"

Come on. Fight back already.

But as much as she hopes that Ishtar will bite back, validate her anger, anything, she just stands there and takes it. The acerbic words she had kept locked inside her heart for this very day die on her tongue. She had a mountain of complaints piled up, but seeing Ishtar cowed before her, it doesn't feel right to say them now. If she were younger, maybe, when the wounds were still fresh, she would have been unrelenting.

Now, though? What is it that she wants? After finally having the acknowledgement that she had been hurt in her hands, where is there to go but forward?

In another life, maybe they could have been friends. Without the shadows of their parents hanging over them, maybe they would have reached out their hands for each other then. They would have giggled in hushed tones, exchanging secrets and jewelry, talking about this or that.

A normal friendship between young noble girls.

...No, that's not quite true, either. To begin with, the very nature of their relationship hinges upon suffering. Were it not for everything that had happened, they wouldn't have had any reason to ever meet. They would not exist in each other's lives at all had none of this happened.

There is no "other life", just the one that exists now.

"I will curse you and your family until my last breath for what you have done to me and my father's kingdom, Lady Ishtar." For every centimeter that Ishtar lowers her head, Miranda raises hers. "But you know what? I am happier now. The peace I have earned and my continued happiness—I hope it haunts you that I grasped it for myself."

Miranda is right, and Ishtar does not argue against it. She wishes so deeply, so terribly, that she even could.

"No," she shakes her head. "No. I could not ask that of you. I will not."

Even if the girl had been willing to give, she knows that there is no world in which it would be deserved. Every life taken by her hands, every child ripped from their home by the cause to which her life had been pledged, had made her less and less deserving of salvation. Of forgiveness.

She should have stood against it, could have, but love had bound her to sin. Love had bloodied her hands and praised her for it, demanded it of her. If she could not trust love, then what could she?

"There is nothing I want from you." Nothing she could ever ask. The girl in her that aches to be seen, to be something more than what fate had made of her, wishes such weren't true. She would have liked to be Miranda's friend in another life, would have wished to know her favorite color rather than how she looked when she cried.

Tentative, her eyes rise to the other's face. It is unimaginable, how much one had to suffer to be so angry. Fingers flex at her sides, curl into the fabric of her skirt in search of a purpose, an excuse. A reason why they could not have reached for her then, why they could not have saved her from their own cruelty.

"You have had enough demanded of you for one lifetime." Ishtar shuts her eyes.

"I have failed not only you, but hundreds of others. You are well within your right to hate me. My only hope is that your future may be kinder than the past you have been dealt."

#👑 ic #👑 support: ishtar #deamare #//thread title later lalala #//sorry to give you like no dialogue to work off of in this one omfg