antmounds

[antmounds]

Sarah “ready to throw hands 24/7” Manning

#re: sarah manning. #queue.

[antmounds]

@atepride sent: “yeah, i love it, but not as much as i love you.”

She’s dealt with worse these past few months;   she’ll survive these words, just like she’s survived the countless other arguments they’ve had. They’ve been tense for months   —   it’s difficult to grasp the time she’s been spending in this position with him, especially because she’s not even sure when all this shit actually started. (She knows their predicament started shortly after he came home with that black eye out of the blue, and then ended up in the hospital for the first time.)

Her head leans against the front door of their house, arms folded over her chest as she stares at him. She can hear her words echoing throughout her head, eyes watching as he began making his way to his car   —   which do you love more? Your “job” or me? Because, she feels she already knows the answer but she wants to hear it from him. (All she wants is to fucking hear the words from him   —   she needs to know.) Her stance feels as if she’s sunk into the patio’s flooring, like if she even tried to move an inch, she’d rubber-band right back to where she initially was. Her stomach is churning with nausea because all she wants it to be loved. All she wants is for things to go back to normal but that’s the thing: she barely remembers what normal feels like. She’s put up with so much shit because she loved him. She still does love him. 

“Really?”   Her words taste like acid, burning her tongue when they leave. It feels like yesterday when she got her brothers to follow him in that stupid fucking RV that took up so much space in the driveway   —   she should’ve known the moment he wouldn’t let her inside that something was going on. They followed him as he picked up Mr. White, their old fucking Chemistry teacher, and made their way to the desert. She still has a hard time wrapping her head around it, but at least the fucking RV isn’t here anymore. No, they’ve moved to some Laundry place, according to him.   “If you love me so much then let’s go. We’ve got all the money we could possibly want, we can go anywhere we want   —   let’s fucking go.”   Let’s fucking go before you get caught by the Feds, is what she means to say. There’s an internal war inside her body; the way she sees it: there’s two options being presented in front of her. 

She can stay. She can keep living in this fucking house, pretending nothing is going on and the day the cops come knocking on the door, she can lie and say she knew nothing about all the drugs. Her life will be flipped upside down and she’ll be moving back to Chicago before she knows it, if she’s even legally allowed to. Or she can leave. She walk back inside, pack her bags, and leave before things get worse because she knows things are going to get worse. People always get caught, no matter how hard they try. 

She inhales, sharp and pointed, as her gaze remains still on him. Her family has always been involved in shady shit, but this is new territory for her. A drug empire that’ll land him in federal prison until he dies? At least her brothers are in and out of jail within months. 

“Let’s fucking leave.”

#atepride #atepride: jesse pinkman. #re: mandy milkovich. #queue.

[antmounds]

@atepride sent: “you look so handsome!”

Shirley’s always looking for a roundabout way of saying things,   so her forward words cause Luke to raise his brows. Fingers immediately stop fumbling with his tie as he turns around, eyes meeting his older sister’s gaze who’s currently standing in the doorway.   “Yeah?”   He knows she’s saying the truth   —   she was Shirley after all; if she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t say it. She wasn’t like Theo who’d say anything on her mind, because she was Theo. Shirley would say something under her breath and be on her way, continuing to mumble things until she would eventually explode; Luke would take any compliment he could get from her. (Especially because he can’t even remember the last thing he received a compliment about anything from her.)

He can’t stop the lop-sided smile forming across his face either.

Turning back around, his focus goes back onto his reflection staring back at him in the mirror.   “Thanks, Shirls.”   He moves back to tying his tie, his struggle becoming clearer and clearer with every passing second. On the back of his head, he can feel Shirley’s gaze staring directly into the back of his skull. (He swears, if she had laser vision, she would’ve probably have incinerated him by now; it probably looks like he can’t tie a tie, which he can. That’s one of the few things he remembers Dad teaching him.) After a final attempt, he finally grabs the tie and balls it up in his grip, head craning over his shoulder. 

“Uhhhhh   —   Steve gave me some old shitty tie of his?”   He chuckles awkwardly, lips pressing themselves together.   “You think Kevin would mind letting me borrow one of his?”

#atepride #atepride: shirley crain. #re: luke crain. #queue. #this .... my heart ....

[antmounds]

I’m better. “I don’t feel anything at all.”

#re: harry bingham. #queue.

[antmounds]

bcllic​:

@antmounds​ (Packie) asked: you do remember that bullets hurt, right?

lucifer sentence starters – still accepting

    He knew this wasn’t anything NEW.

    There was something ROTTEN and untouched just sitting under the surface in that thought, something he didn’t, nor couldn’t, dig too deeply into at the moment.

    Still, Niko had been shot at and been shot before, yet it didn’t make it any less PARALYZING–if only for a moment or two if he WILLED it. Which he often did, trying to push himself to get out of his current situation before he was hit somewhere more FATAL. Yet, as he tried to keep his eyes on the road in front of him and his hands steady on the wheel, it was hard to hold back the drawn out GROAN that surfaced at the feeling of that bullet sitting in his side. FIRE ripping through his skin and muscle, making him clench his teeth as Packie’s words seemed to register.

    “Oh–RIGHT. I forgot. I’m just keeping bullet in because it feels NICE,” he snapped, pausing a moment as he tore the car around another corner. “I’ll lose them, but you will have to drive after.”

    With any luck, it might give him time to stop the blood loss enough to keep him from passing out behind the wheel. At least.

Out the passenger side view mirror,   Packie can see the red and blue lights casting a penumbra across the buildings they just passed. Another botched drug dealer   —   when were the fucking Feds going to stop sticking their noses in places they didn’t belong? (Or the better question should be: when the fuck was Elizabeta going to stop sticking them on botched drug deals.) 

Out of the corner of his left eye, he can see the carmine blood beginning to drip onto the driver side mat resting underneath Niko’s seat from his wound. It’s enough to make Packie wince; he’s been shot a few times before in his life and it hurts like a bitch; the pain never gets easier. Although, he can’t halt the eye roll occurring from the other man’s words.   “Yeah, yeah   —   alright!”   It’s called out as he begins rolling down the window, leaning outwards as he aims the 9MM in his grasp at one of the three cop cars trailing behind them. The trigger is squeezed five times, bullets being fired in their direction   —   he watches as one of the cop car’s swerve to avoid the bullets, screwing up the other’s pathing.

“There! Turn into the next alleyway or something; they’re confused as shit right now.”   He pulls himself back into the car, head turning in Niko’s direction. Head leaning against the seat, there’s an aggravated breath huffed out as his head shakes.   “You know, we really don’t get fuckin’ paid enough for this shit.”

#bcllic #re: packie mcreary. #queue. #my god they're a mess

[antmounds]

roseguided​:

            𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐑 ,  𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇  through it.    eyes fixate on nell ,  words fall past her lips ,  && the sinking in her chest only grows worse than it was ten seconds ago or even the entire journey here two days ago.   (  what had happened in that damned house?  the house nell would rant about every time she had the chance , the one she blamed for all of the bad that’s happened.  something wasn’t being told , something no one , who wasn’t looking , couldn’t see–  could she?  )    head turns to focus back on luke ,  his sadness maybe the    𝙻𝙾𝚄𝙳𝙴𝚂𝚃   of them all && how she felt for him . . if only she could take it away━      ❝  at least we can agree one one thing.  this fucking sucks.  ❞    it wasn’t fair , riley tried to reason with herself.   nell had so much more life to live , so much to discover about herself. possibilities presented themselves to her even if she was struggling  && she did this?  something’s    𝖜𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌.      ;      deep breath is pulled into her chest reluctantly ,  a slight step taken toward opened doors.     ❝  i’m gonna go see her before the service starts.  ❞    says riley calmly , quietly.      ❝  hang back if you can’t go up there , you don’t have too.  i’ll be right back , okay?  ❞   reassuring smile spreads against lips as riley enters the viewing room.   eyes close at the influx of energy ,  deep breath taken into her chest━it was overwhelming , yet a sense of warmth peaks through the clouds && the fog.    it’s nell.    words in passing or given to shirley && any other crain , arms wrapped ‘round them as she steps up to wooden casket.   tears rise in her eyes , a tightness in her chest as she gazes downward :    ❝  hey , nell.  ❞   hand reaches forward to touch against cold , pale skin.     ❝  what’re you trying to tell me . .   ❞   whispered.

He knew today was going to be hard.   Yesterday was just as hard and even with seeing Nell lying in that casket last night, he’s still struggling. For the first time in years, the entire family is in the exact same room at the exact same time; he should be thrilled. This isn’t how he wanted it, though. He never wanted Nell’s death (or anyone’s death) to be the reasoning they were all brought back together. Every ounce of him wants to run out of here   —   it’s not too late to slip through the crowd entering the funeral home and simply leave. (He won’t   —   he’s already missed too much of Nell’s life, he can’t miss this either; no matter how much he doesn’t want to be here.) Luke’s caught in his thoughts again, eyes gazing at the pathway down to the wooden casket his twin is currently laying in when Riley speaks, tearing him out of his mind.   “Good luck.”   He offers the most comforting smile he can offer at the moment, watching as she begins making her way down the aisle. He contemplates walking up there for a minute, glancing over her shoulder as they gaze down at Nell together. He decides against it, though, choosing to go back to the bench he was sitting on prior to Riley’s arrival. When his father enters the funeral home, he sits besides him   —   a brief conversation occurring between them. (He doesn’t hate talking to Hugh   —   not like the rest of the family, anyways. He just hates how this is how they even started talking again. Nell would’ve been ecstatic; Luke would’ve done anything to feel the happiness stirring inside him because it would’ve been Nell’s happiness. That stupid fucking Twin Thing. He wishes he could feel that again because right now? All he feels is emptiness, as if a part of him is missing. He hates that. He feels the same fucking way he did with a needle in his veins.) Once the conversation with Hugh is ended, Luke rises from the bench and finally makes his way over to Riley, lips pressing themselves together once he’s behind her.   “Shirley did a good job making her look like ... her? If I can say that?”   He pauses, right hand clasping around the back of his neck.   “I don’t really know how to talk about this.”

#roseguided #roseguided: riley viktor. #re: luke crain. #queue. #i fckin hate coloring this show sm

[antmounds]

✰   —  —  —  STRANGER THINGS : THE GATE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  i never gave up on you.  ’ ‘  i called you every night.  ’ ‘  what the hell is this? where have you been?  ’ ‘  let’s talk. alone.  ’ ‘  so i should be thanking you then?  ’ ‘  no, nothing about this is okay! nothing about this is okay!  ’ ‘  you stupid, disgusting, lying piece of shit!  ’ ‘  oh, you like these pearls?  ’ ‘  you’re a real lifesaver, you know that?  ’ ‘  how is this important right now?  ’ ‘  it’s not important. i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  you should go with him.  ’ ‘  no one’s leaving anyone.  ’ ‘  i may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but turns out i’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.  ’ ‘  turns out i’m a pretty damn good babysitter.  ’ ‘  just be careful, alright?  ’ ‘  i can’t lose you again.  ’ ‘  you won’t lose me.  ’ ‘  you promise?  ’ ‘  promise.  ’ ‘  so what, we’re just not gonna talk about it, huh?  ’ ‘  i’m just curious, you know, why all the sudden you look like some kind of mtv punk.  ’ ‘  i’m not mad, i just wanna know where you’ve been. that’s all.  ’ ‘  i… i shouldn’t have left.  ’ ‘  no, this isn’t on you. i should’ve been there.  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel like i’m just some kind of black hole or something.  ’ ‘  the blackhole got her. and somehow, i’ve just been scared, you know? i’ve just been scared that it’d take you too.  ’ ‘  i’m so sorry. for everything.  ’ ‘  i can be so… so… stupid. just really stupid.  ’ ‘  i don’t hate it, by the way.  ’ ‘  bitchin’.  ’ ‘  okay… sure. bitchin’.  ’ ‘  is this really necessary?  ’ ‘  this is a ground-breaking scientific discovery. we can’t just bury it like some common mammal, okay? it’s not a dog.  ’ ‘  okay, first of all, this is not some stupid sports game. and second, we’re not even in the game. we’re on the bench.   ’ ‘  right– so my point is… right, yeah.  ’ ‘  we’re on the bench so, uh, there’s nothing we can do.  ’ ‘  yeah, and then we all die!  ’ ‘  no, that’s not a point of view, man. that’s a fact.  ’ ‘  oh yeah? that’s a no.  ’ ‘  hey! hey! hey! this is not happening.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no, no. no buts.  ’ ‘  i promised i’d keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what i plan on doing.  ’ ‘  we’re staying here. on the bench. and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job.  ’ ‘  i said does everybody understand that? i need a yes.  ’ ‘  he can’t know i’m here. he’ll kill me. he’ll kill us.  ’ ‘  am i dreaming or is that you?  ’ ‘  yeah, it’s me. don’t cream your pants.  ’ ‘  what are you doing here, amigo?  ’ ‘  doesn’t ring a bell. sorry, buddy.  ’ ‘  you know, i don’t know, this whole situation here is giving me the heebie-jeebies.  ’ ‘  man, were you dropped too much as a child or what?  ’ ‘  i don’t know what you don’t understand about what i just said.  ’ ‘  looks like you got some fire in you after all!  ’ ‘  yes, kick his ass! murder that son of a bitch!  ’ ‘  you little shit, what did you do?  ’ ‘  are you sure this is a good idea?  ’ ‘  let’s kill this son of a bitch.  ’ ‘  it’s okay, you put up a good fight. he kicked your ass, but you put up a good fight.  ’ ‘  they were gonna leave you behind, but i promised you’d be cool, okay?  ’ ‘  everybody shut up! i’m trying to focus!  ’ ‘  what’s happening? it hurts!  ’ ‘  let me go!  ’ ‘  oh, no… you guys.   ’ ‘  hey, where do you think you’re going.  ’ ‘  what are you, deaf? hello!  ’ ‘  we are not going down there right now, i made myself clear!  ’ ‘  this ends right now!  ’ ‘  you’re upset, i get it.  ’ ‘  the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance and it is our duty to provide that assistance.  ’ ‘  i know you promised them that you’d keep us safe, so keep us safe.  ’ ‘  whoa, whoa, whoa. hey, hey, hey, hey! i don’t think so.  ’ ‘  any of you shits die down here, i’m getting the blame.  ’ ‘  got it, dipshit?  ’ ‘  from here on out, i’m leading the way.  ’ ‘  those suckers got you pretty good, huh?  ’ ‘  it’s not working. it’s not working! are you listening to me?  ’ ‘  you’re killing him!  ’ ‘  you remember me?  ’ ‘  that was a pretty douchey thing to do.  ’ ‘  you did good. you did so good.  ’ ‘  sometimes i impress even myself.  ’ ‘  what’s so important about one night?  ’ ‘  do you always have to be filming everything?  ’ ‘  you look so handsome!  ’ ‘  we should, you know, get out there… like, do our thing.  ’ ‘  yeah, i love it, but not as much as i love you.  ’ ‘  get out of my room!  ’ ‘  see? pretty.  ’ ‘  you don’t care.  ’ ‘  i don’t care.  ’ ‘  there you go. you’re learning, my friend.  ’ ‘  hey, come on. you look great, okay? you look great!  ’ ‘  you’re gonna go in there, look like a million bucks, and you’re gonna slay ‘em dead.  ’ ‘  yeah, uh… don’t do that, okay?  ’ ‘  holy shit! what happened to you?  ’ ‘  are you trying to ask me to dance, stalker?  ’ ‘  wanna dance?  ’ ‘  you’re my favorite.  ’ ‘  you’ve always been my favorite.  ’ ‘  girls this age are dumb.  ’ ‘  how are you holding up?  ’ ‘  yeah, that feeling never goes away.  ’ ‘  it is true what they say, you know. every day it does get a little easier.  ’

#memes.

[antmounds]

Joel @ The Last of Us Part II release trailer

#re: joel miller. #remember how we all got fuckin bamboozled by this scene #'you think i'd let you do this on your own' uhhhh naughty dog .

[antmounds]

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

#re: allie pressman. #i miss her sm i cannot believe i won't ever get to see her again smh

[antmounds]

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (2018) Dir. Mike Flanagan

#re: luke crain. #queue.

[antmounds]

@kitestring​ sent: “you always looked great in blue.”

It’s not the first time Enid’s asked him to sneak out of Alexandria with him. He figures it won’t be the last either, as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid. Whether that means saying something stupid or doing something stupid is up to him to figure out. (He’s taken it as Enid’s way of saying a date   —   she says otherwise, but he’s picked up on the cues, especially because she doesn’t sneak out with anyone else. It also doesn’t help they spend half the time kissing either, rather than actually killing walkers.)

He’s in the middle of buttoning his favorite blue plaid shirt when Lori’s voice rings through the air, catching him completely off guard. The way he jumps and immediately twists on his feet indicates it.   “Jesus, mom!”   He exclaims, the look on his face expressing his surprise. His gaze flickers from staring at her momentarily to continuing buttoning his shirt, words mumbling quietly underneath his breath as an eye roll follows.  “Glad to know we’ve gotten rid of knocking all together. Thanks, though.”

When he finishes, freshly washed hands are ran quickly through his hair before he turns back around towards his bedroom door. (He needs a haircut and he also contemplates asking her for a quick trim, but he decides against his better judgement. Enid’s supposed to be here any minute and the whole point of sneaking out is not telling anyone what you’re doing   —   even if it’s not much of a secret anymore.)   “What are you even doing here? I thought you were supposed to be with Judith or something?”   It’s asked as he moves to put his sheriff’s hat on, brows furrowing as his gaze remains stilled on her. 

#kitestring #kitestring: lori grimes. #re: carl grimes. #queue. #this is so bad but lmfaooo cute lil family tings hehe #i miss lori sm

[antmounds]

#re: jesse myung. #i love him sm :(

[antmounds]

@roseguided​ sent: “if it’s between me and the baby i- ... i choose the baby. i want this baby to live, do you understand?”

It’s something they hadn’t discussed yet   —   a thought that had wandered through both of their heads but had never been spoken from either of their mouths. When Dina called a family meeting when they’d both gotten back from a patrol, it was met with groans and sighs from both, but the lingering feeling in both of their guts over something they needed to talk about. 

When the topic was brought up, Ellie could feel the butterflies beginning to form in her stomach   —   she could feel them clawing at her stomach lining, trying to force their way out through her flesh. It was uncomfortable and a feeling she couldn’t push down, no matter how hard she tried. There’s still a part of her that believes she shouldn’t be here. Sure, she’s Dina’s girlfriend, but she’s not the baby’s mother   —   Dina and Jesse are the parents. They’ve had multiple conversations over it, explaining how she is a part of the child’s life and will be a part of their life, but it still doesn’t sit well with her. 

Maybe it’s because she saw Jesse get shot back in Seattle, and for a split moment, she thought she’d have to explain to the child one day how she saw their dad die right in front of her. Or maybe it’s because things haven’t been normal since Seattle. She isn’t sleeping well at night   —   whenever she closes her eyes, she’s brought back to that fucking theater, to the sight of Abby bleeding out right in front of her feet. It always makes her wake up in a sweat, fearing what could have happened in Seattle. 

In a way, they could’ve not been here   —   Abby could’ve killed Jesse, Dina, Tommy. She could’ve killed everyone. It’s a hard pill to swallow and an even harder pill to swallow in this room, gaze moving between the two. 

She barely hears anything Dina says in the whole conversation until the very end: if it’s between me and the baby, choose the baby. It makes Ellie glance up from the carpet she’s been staring at for so long and finally look up at Dina, discomfort evident on her features. She waits a moment, tracing over her girlfriend’s words. They’re hard to keep track of, them trying to slip away from her brain with every passing moment. Teeth sink down on her bottom lip, eyes fluttering shut momentarily before she finally speaks. 

“Okay.”   A pause, a deep breath being inhaled through her nostrils.   “Baby comes first.”   It’s spoken as a reminder to herself, head nodding as she speaks. 

Jesse’s gaze flickers between the two women, his head bobbing in unison with Ellie’s. When he looks at Dina, he doesn’t see his pregnant ex-girlfriend, he sees his best friend   —   the one who’s been around him the longest and knows nearly everything about him. Hell, there’s a chance she knows him better than he knows himself, which is what makes this conversation so hard. It makes him want to storm out of the house because they shouldn’t be having to have this conversation   —   if the world wasn’t so fucked up, they could be having a conversation like a semi-normal family. (None of their situation was normal, though.) They could be arguing over the different colors they painted the nursery’s in their separate homes   —   Jesse painted the nursery blue at his home, Dina and Ellie painted theirs yellow. 

Instead, here they are, talking about if a life or death situation. It makes him nauseous. 

He swallows, a hand running itself through his hair as he juts forward in the chair he’s currently sat in.   “Fuck, Dina. Couldn’t we have had talked about this another time?”   It’s quietly mumbled under his breath but he knows there’s no other conversation they could have. It was a necessity and one he needed to accept, whether he wanted to or not. 

His gaze is brought back directly to Dina, unable to stop his right leg from bouncing up and down. (A habit of whenever he’s nervous.)   “It’s the same thing for me, obviously. He’s my son. If something were to happen to me, I want you guys to pick him over me.”   There’s a crack forming in his heart, threatening to shatter with every word spoken through his lips.

#roseguided #roseguided: dina levitt. #long post / #re: ellie williams. #re: jesse myung. #i love this trio sm

[antmounds]

@roseguided​ sent: “what's wrong? you've-you've got that look, that 'something’s wrong' look. besides, my mom senses tingled earlier today-”

The whole day had been weird   —   maybe it’s why she went to the church celebration in the first place. Whenever things go right for once, she immediately classifies the day as weird: a patrol gone right, no snarky comment from Cat as she walked through town afterwards, no sight of Joel either. It was the perfect day. But nothing can stay perfect forever, something in the night had to go wrong. (It wasn’t even necessarily wrong, it was just everything Ellie had dreaded occurring plopping itself right down in front of her with a bow on top.)

Dina kissing her in the middle of the church, Seth making a comment, Joel threatening to deck Seth in the face, Ellie storming out of the church because she had to get the hell out of there. When she left, there was only one place she knew where she could go: her mom’s house. 

“What isn’t wrong.”   It’s spoken through an exasperated chuckle, hands running themselves down her face. She picks up the mug filled with coffee on the coffee table in front of her, taking a small sip before eyes glance back towards her mother. A deep breath is inhaled.   “You ever have those days where everything is so fucking good but then bam! It just goes to shit? Yeah, that’s today for me.”   An eye roll follows her sentence, fingers setting the cup back on the table. 

“Dina kissed me at the celebration in front of everyone, which I’ve wanted for so damn long, but then I gotta’ remember Jesse’s my best friend. I can’t do that to him, right? Then Seth saw   —   he was drunk   —   said something to Dina, I was about to punch him in the face but then Joel said something to him, which he needs to stay the fuck out of my business! And I told him that, so then he left, and then I left because I was pissed off, and now I’m here.”   She exhales, lips pressing themselves together afterwards. A few moments pass of silence, Ellie’s mind attempting to wrap themselves around the words she just spoke into the universe   —   it was all rambled and jumbled, she barely understood herself. 

“Everything is just fucked.”

#roseguided #roseguided: anna williams. #re: ellie williams.

[antmounds]

Ellie wearing Joel’s clothes in The Last of Us Part II

#re: ellie williams. #re: joel miller.

[antmounds]

under the cut are my canon divergences for ellie. my main verse will be taking place after tlou2 but under my own accord + writing of the game. i will follow this timeline, not canon’s timeline unless plottered otherwise. 

joel didn’t die.   upon picking up abby and arriving at the lodge to drop her off to her group, she encourages them to stay through the storm to which joel and tommy politely decline. she then asks for their name, resulting in joel giving her a fake one (which has become a commonly used practice to strangers, considering all joel has done and being the paranoid man he is) and tommy replying with his own. abby recognizes his name from the lead she had and immediately shoots his horse, resulting in it collapsing on top of him before shooting joel in the leg. her and her group proceed to drag joel inside and beat him up, continuously asking for the location of joel miller throughout this process. in the midst of this, ellie manages to arrive and help tommy up, leading to them rescuing joel. they manage to scare abby and her group off, leaving joel in horrible condition and barely alive. they manage to get him back to jackson where he ends up going into a similar state as the winter portion of tlou. there is confirmation from the local doctors saying joel will not survive and everyone should begin saying their goodbyes, which leads to tommy (and ellie shortly after) seeking vengeance for the “inevitable” death of joel. during the trip to seattle, joel (being the joel we all know and love) manages to barely pull through. his injuries are life-changing and he will never be the same. (credit goes to dante ravioli of youtube for this idea. he wrote this as a comment on his tlou2 video as a better way for joel’s death and i changed it in a format where joel can live.)

jesse also didn’t die.   he was rather shot in the shoulder during abby’s arrival at the theater and managed to survive, also being an aid to ellie during this sequence, providing back up fire as abby chases ellie into the backstage area before tending to his own gunshot wound. 

abby died in seattle.   after arriving at the theater and shooting tommy, resulting in the blindness of his right eye and leaving him with mobility problems, she pursues ellie into the backstage area. there is a brawl between the two, resulting in abby breaking ellie’s nose. during this fight, dina runs in while abby is in the middle of choking ellie and is able to stab her in the back, giving ellie a chance to catch her breath and stab abby in the neck. this leads to slicing abby’s throat and letting her bleed out on the ground. there’s a brief moment of sadness and realization that washes over ellie of knowing her innocence is gone. she didn’t kill abby because she had to, she killed abby because she wanted to. it’s a hard pill for ellie to swallow and takes awhile for her to come to terms with. after this sequence is finished, her, jesse, and dina are able to contain the bleeding from tommy’s eye and manage to make their way back to jackson. they invite lev to join them in their travels (they’re aware he doesn’t know anything about the situation besides what abby had told him; he’s not a part of this and they know this) but he refuses, rather choosing to leave seattle all together and go on his own path. 

ellie and dina do not leave jackson for the farm.   upon arriving back at jackson, dina and ellie decide to move in together but stay in jackson to be close to jesse and joel. during dina’s pregnancy, jesse is very much around and active throughout it, and takes up the spare room in their house during the last trimester. ellie is also very much involved in dina’s pregnancy and joel’s recovery process, opting to spend nights at his home often to make sure he’s okay/rekindling their own relationship. towards the end of dina’s pregnancy, while there’s not an explicit wedding, ellie and dina do confess their love towards one another and make it clear they do not want to leave one another, regardless of whatever happens in the future. jesse is happy for the two of them and finds love of his own. 

ellie suffers from c-ptsd.   c-ptsd is a variation of ptsd stemming from multiple traumatic experiences. in ellie’s case, her ptsd is circulating around these experiences: riley’s death, tess’s death, sam and henry’s death, joel’s near-death experience in the winter of tlou, the killing of david, joel’s near-death experience regarding abby, and the killing of the WLFs and abby. ellie has grown from the most from these moments and learned how to cope, minus the fresher experiences/memories. (joel’s near death involving the WLFs and the killing of abby.) ellie’s ptsd hinders her day-to-day life tremendously, usually resulting in panic attacks and flashbacks. there have been multiple occasions where she has aimed her gun at people or even punched people if they touch her while in the midst of an episode. it’s never intentional and ellie always apologizes afterwards; most residents have known to get dina, jesse, joel, or maria if they witness this as they’ve learned how to deal with these situations/console ellie. she does attend local group sessions offer in jackson county, but they can only help so much. 

#re: ellie williams. #re: meta.

[antmounds]

@kitestring​ sent: “i’ve transcended. do you really care how or why?”

It’s a hit to his gut   —   the realization of all the pain he’s caused for the family. (It only took 103 days sober to clearly see it all.) Luke isn’t stupid   —   there was always a nagging voice in the back of his head, most likely his conscience, telling him what he was doing was unacceptable. (In most cases, it took the form of their mother, practically begging him to stop shoving a needle into his veins.) It never stopped him, though. Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t the voice of his own mother stop him? Because it wasn’t real. That’s the thing, though   —   this is real. Theo is in front of him, he is standing in front of her, and she is staring at him with that fucking look. The one he’s seen too many damn times painted across everyone’s face in this family. He’s seen it on Steve’s face, Shirley’s face, even Nell at some point or another. (God, he wishes Nell was here. He really fucking misses her. If she was here, she’d help him know what to say because right now, he’s fucking lost.)

He swallows, head nodding slowly.   “I care, Theo. For real.”   He doesn’t know how else to word it without sounding like an asshole, because if he does, he’ll sound like an asshole. For years now, he’s been in and out of rehab, stealing money from the family and now, he presents himself as someone who’s sober and starting fresh. Every time he looks in the mirror, he barely recognizes himself from the disheveled appearance addiction planted on him. How is his own family supposed to look at him seriously if he still doesn’t. Not yet, anyways. (There’s not an urge there anymore, though. There’s no temptation, no devil on his shoulder whispering into his ear to score or shoot up.)

His right hand rubs against the inner-part of his elbow where stygian track marks used to reside, only now, it’s clear ivory skin.   “I knew you got your PhD, but... you know.”   It’s his way of saying I wasn’t actually there to see you get it, but I heard about it.   “Tell me about it. I wanna’ know   —   what made you do it?”   He figures the answers lie somewhere between the line of what Dad put them through; he doesn’t add that, though. Instead, he keeps rubbing his elbow pit awkwardly. All he wants is his family back. If this is a step in the right direction, he’ll take the glaring eyes any day. 

#kitestring #kitestring: theo crain. #re: luke crain. #drugs / #i do not know how to color this show lmfao