aroace-avenue

[aroace-avenue]

Asking aros to put down the overly defensive "well I still love! I still feel! I love in all these different ways!" and walk away slowly. Yes, it's true for you, but you're still equating your love with your merit; you're playing the game of arophobes. I get what it's trying to combat, but I don't think the solution is to continue to use love as a weapon rather than completely disarming it. Why is love the metric? Why is love what your worth is?

[aroace-avenue]

A lot of the time when I see people talk about aromanticism they bring up the way a lot of us tend to think that romance is just exaggerated in fiction and are surprised that people feel that way in real life and not just in the movies and that's honestly kind of funny, imagine just going about your life and one day finding out that most people's high school years were actually like disney channel and you're the exception

[aroace-avenue]

I think it's important to understand that discussions around amatonormativity usually aren't (or shouldn't be) asking people to see their individual romantic relationships as less important, because wanting a long-term monogamous romantic relationship isn't inherently amatonormative.

Amatonormativity is about the bigger picture of how society treats romantic relationships. It's about placing romantic relationships at the top of a hierarchy and then claiming that most meaningful close and intimate connections to other humans are only accessable through them. Amatonormativity is the assumption that everyone wants to end up in a monogamous long-term romantic relationship and then decrying anyone who wants a relationship that doesn't fit into that very narrow category.

Every individual person has to figure out for themselves which types of relationships they desire or don't desire and how much importance they want to give them. Amatonormativity criticizes the fact that that's not a question you are normally asked in the first place, because the answer is always assumed.

I think if in the end someone decides to prioritize their romantic relationships, they will still have defied amatonormativity simply through consciously making that decision, and through not assuming the same for everyone else. To me, dismantling amatonormativity is about deconstructing the assumed hierarchy of relationships, giving people the chance to actually think about what they truly want, and opening the pathways for those possibilities.

[aroace-avenue]

an aromantic person is someone who (fill in the blank here) // april 10 2024

[aroace-avenue]

solidarity between people who want to take psychiatric meds to function and those who don’t.

What’s important is that we both have autonomy, informed consent and safe access to treatments we want, and to not be forced, coerced or pressured into those we don’t.

[aroace-avenue]

Disability justice includes those who are disabled due to their own actions. You are not here to be blamed for what happened or why it did, you are here to receive love and support on your own journey.

[aroace-avenue]

I dislike how clumsy it is to share Twitter threads but here is a portion from a guy I follow (for his trans porn and monster fucking content at that) echoing a sentiment that aces, traumatized people, people with low libido, etc. can fully relate to. The rest is here and it’s absolutely worth the read.

[aroace-avenue]

I promise you, relationship anarchy is a good thing. Tell your friends you love them. Go on dates. Domme them. Take them to weddings. Have a relationship with the sub from the dungeon where she does your taxes or you mow his lawn. Help your neighbor plant begonias and become their honorary granddaughter. Become friends with your partner’s partners. Cuddle with your book club and talk about Polysecure or something, idk.

I don’t care. Just stop expecting every relationship to follow a specific pattern and instead find the beauty you both want in your specific relationship with that other person.

Life is more than the nuclear family and strict pseudo-Christian mythological ideals.

[aroace-avenue]

In 1991, 15 Dutch regional news papers put out a giant questionnaire, which then was answered by tens of thousands of people

Among the questions also was this one

It basically says:

Do you consider yourself:

- heterosexual

- homosexual

- bisexual

- a-sexual

According to the results of this survey,

92,8% of the men and 93,5% of the women identified as hetero

3,1% of men and 2,1% of women identified as gay

2,6% of men and 2,7% of women identified as bi

1,5% of men and 2,7% of women identified as ace

I think this is fascinating, especially that they found so many asexual people, like this was in 1991 and yet they already found more people than that 1% that gets quoted a lot

[aroace-avenue]

so what if a teenager or kid (or anyone) adopts an identity label that they find out doesn't fit them, or discard later in life? you had baby clothes that you no longer fit into and were discarded. growing is a part of life.

let people live in the moment. especially kids.

[aroace-avenue]

many aroaces figured out their identity in an asexual>aromantic pattern and it’s such a common experience that it gets me thinking if there are other folks out there in the community who actually found out they were aro first and then ace

am i the odd one out here or is it more common than i’ve been led to believe?

#i also went ace -> aro #i imagine more people are doing aro -> ace now that aromanticism is starting to grow out from under the umbrella of asexuality

[aroace-avenue]

anyway loveless people and aplatonics are cool as fuck and automatically win at life

[aroace-avenue]

Bodily autonomy is not just about abled people choosing not to have a baby, it's also about respecting disabled people's right to have one. And it's not just about mentally ill people's right to treatment and meds, but also about their right to refuse both. It's about respecting people's right to choose for themselves, even when you disagree with their choices. Real bodily autonomy includes the right to make a choice that YOU wouldn't make or advocate for

[aroace-avenue]

some of yall need to understand that "my body, my choice" also applies to:

addicts in active addiction with no intention of quitting

phys disabled people who deny medical treatment

neurodivergent people who deny psychiatric treatment (yes, including schizophrenic people and people with personality disorders)

trans people who want or don't want to medically transition (yes, including trans masc lesbians with top surgery and trans women without bottom surgery, yall are so weird to them wtf)

and if you can't understand that, then you don't get to use the phrase

[aroace-avenue]

as someone who's aromantic but very allosexual I just feel like queer people and allies who get up in arms at the idea of people fucking their friends and remaining completely platonic friends just really aren't the type of people who are gonna be actual allies to me. Like idk I don't think sex has to be some special intimate thing and I just think its age old conservative dogma being used to shame people this time just coming from people who claim to be more progressive. its dumb. its just "save sex till marriage or else you're impure" again.

[aroace-avenue]

Love when people say "Whatever floats your boat." when it comes to sexuality. I mean, I'm not even anywhere near the water but it's still such a cute expression.

[aroace-avenue]

Punk is whatever the state fucking hates so I'm sorry to announce to the functionally conservative but contemporary punk isn't leather jackets and punk rock from the 2000s, it's hyperfemininity, it's transsexualism, it's kinky leather harnesses, it's polyamory, it's Black female rappers, it's reading books from the library, it's pirating media, it's sharing your Netflix and Prime and Spotify passwords, it's patching up your thrifted clothes with cute embroidery until they're in tatters, it's "borrowing" groceries from corporations that make up inflation that doesn't exist, it's supporting small weird freaky artists on Etsy instead of buying the newest Official™️ boring low effort promotional image enamel pins, it's drawing and writing the raunchiest most disgusting and freaky porn you could possibly fathom, it's showing off your tits or top surgery scars in public, it's cis women packing and cis men tucking, it's dykefags and fagdykes and boylesbians and girlgays, it's paying for OnlyFans of trans people fisting themselves, it's making up new genders and sexualities and romantic orientations and editing whole new flags for them, it's refusing to label yourself for the gratification of a government that wants to know under what misspelled drafty legislation they should legally kill you

Punk is being/supporting whatever the state currently fucking despises and wants to burn off the face of the earth, not whatever you think is Punk Aesthetic. If you wanna be punk just to look like you were born in the 80s instead of actually BEING PUNK by supporting the degenerates and the freaks and the sex workers and the BIPOC and the transsexuals and the faggots and the dykes, burn your fucking $800 corp bought leather jacket because you're not Hobie Brown you're just a fucking poser.

Punk is fighting the system beside the ones the system is fighting against, Punk isn't a Pinterest moodboard.