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aryz02-blog · 4 years
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BLEPP 2019 Journey
I failed to enter my dream university and entered one that I didn’t even know that exists during that time. I failed to enter BS Accountancy (I was just one point away to get in pero di ko na rin pinilit kasi di ko naman gusto). I don’t even have a course that I think I’m passionate about. I took BS Psychology because I heard na may board exam to. Yun lang.
I found myself bored in some subjects, confused why do we even need those minor ones and struggling with math (na akala ko wala!!). I gained friends na nakasama kong tumawa, manlait at mainis. I met someone who became important to me. I learned how to like my chosen course but I was still never passionate about it.
I started reading by April 2019. Wala akong foundation sa dalawang subject (I/O and Psychological Assessment), I thought hindi ko yun maiintindihan so I told to myself na sa review center ko na lang iaasa yon. Thankfully the review center offers a discount for those who graduated with honors! Naisip ko kasing baka di afford ni Mama so nagdadalawang isip ako noon.
With my friend, Chi, we started our review there noong June. They gave us a diagnostic exam agad-agad!! It’s a good thing that I have a friend na kasama sa pagre-review. We ask each other some questions, lift each other up when we’re feeling down and wake the other kapag nasosobrahan na sa idlip. 
Luminaw lahat ng concepts noong tinuro na sa review center. Tumibay lalo ang foundation ko sa TOP at Psychological Assessment (I even made it to the top during the drills!). Hindi naman pala mahirap kapag binasa mo na at nabigyan ka ng insights tungkol doon. The take home drills were also helpful. Sobrang hirap pa nga minsan, eh. 
Some lecturers were remarkable. Sir Soliman and Ma’am Yeng sa TOP, sa kanila ako nilakasan ng loob. Ang dami nilang chika and comments about the theories and theorists which made the subject more interesting. Sir Kliatchko and Ma’am Daniela for Psych Assessment, sila yung nagpa-easy non! Upon reading Cohen’s and Kaplan’s book, kahit papaano dumali siya sa paningin ko. Sila yung nagpawala ng kaba ko sa subject na yon. Sir Campos naman for further explaining about the different views and disorders sa Abnormal Psychology. Sir Montano and Sir Gian for explaining all of it!!!
One week before the boards, kabado na ako kasi pakiramdam ko I need more days pa. I was re-reading psych assessment and TOP. Gusto kong maiyak kasi minsan parang hindi pa rin pumapasok sa utak ko yung concepts. My friends kept on messaging me. Minsan pa nga natatawa ako kasi medyo feel ko na confident ako. Noong lumabas na yung room assignments, parang sinampal na naman ako bigla ng anxiety. I confessed to my mother that I don’t feel like I am ready. Ayokong umasa siya sa akin. 
On the first day of boards, I arrived at the testing site by 5:30 am. Ang dami na agad na naka-white uniform na nakalinya sa labas. Hanggang sa makapasok ako sa loob, di nawala yung kaba ko but still, nagawa ko pa ring umidlip. Ang aga ko kayang nagising! When the test papers were given, hindi muna ako nagsagot agad. I prayed first before answering. Ganon lagi ang ginagawa ko.
On the second day, mukhang pagod ang lahat but we still managed to read our notes. I finished I/O within an hour kasi I don’t feel well. Medyo kabado ako noon kasi nga I don’t remember reading some of the test items sa librong binasa ko. I kept on computing how many unsure answers I have. Dapat kasi at least 65 or 70 correct answers ang mayroon ako to pass. In psych assessment naman, dapat at least 110 correct answers.
Waiting for the results was painful. I was very anxious, sa tuwing hihiga ako, napapaisip ako sa mga sagot ko. I treated the examination like a drill kasi! Mas mahirap ang drills noong nagrereview ako sa totoo lang but the examination contained items I didn’t know and super nakakalitong mga tanong. 
Supposedly, November 4 dapat yung release ng results. Umaga pa lang di na ako mapakali. Ang dami ring naghihintay. I even cried kasi iniisip ko na baka di ako pasado! Noong gumabi na at wala pa rin, I gave up. Naubos na rin yata ang energy ko sa paghihintay so I just slept. When I remembered my notes and everything that was posted in my room..
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I thought that I deserve to pass!! 
Mahimbing lang yung tulog ko then at 3 in the morning I heard the continuous notifications in my phone kaya tinignan ko yon. Feeling a little groggy, I looked at it and saw my friends’ messages. They congratulated us!! Bigla akong nabuhayan don so I looked it up dahil hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala! Medyo weird pa nga dahil di ako makaramdam ng kaba habang nagscroll. When I saw my name, I felt relief! I passed!! My friend and I passed!! Agad kong sinabi iyon kay Mama, she was just chill noong nalaman niya like she expected it.
I thanked my friends for looking it up for us. At agad ko ring binalitaan si Chi that we passed the boards!! 
It wasn’t a rough journey for me sa totoo lang. I just struggled in trying to master the theories, concepts, the normal curve, the proponents of different things, the clinical descriptions of every disorder and many other things! (Which I think eh normal lang na pagdaanan ng isang taong nagrereview) I can say that I am lucky to have the resources that I needed especially the time. I thanked God for another blessing that he had given to me. 
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aryz02-blog · 8 years
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It's hard to be a full time fan girl.
dork.k-popper
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