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auberosier · 5 days
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Klaus: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!
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auberosier · 28 days
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When you thought you were doing better but dreams don’t lie.
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auberosier · 2 months
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stalemate
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pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader
words: 7.2k
summary: Frankie Morales is your best friend — until a drunken hookup tears you apart.
warnings: 18+ minors dni; friends -> enemies -> lovers, TF characters without the TF plot, no Tom (in this house we hate Tom), alcohol consumption, smoking, angst, jealousy, pining, Frankie & reader being idiots in love, explicit smut, size kink, brief mentions of drunk sex, bad / regretful sex (between reader & OC), oral (f!receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, multiple orgasms, use of pet names (bebita, querida, baby, etc.), grilled cheese as a love language, happy ending, I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything!
a/n:  thank you so much to @javisashtray & @pedgito for beta-reading this for me <3 this is for all my frankie lovers out there (aka bitches with good taste). dividers are by cafekitsune. follow @joelscurlsupdates for fic notifications! enjoy :)
Frankie Morales makes the best grilled cheese you’ve ever had. Perfectly golden bread; gooey, melty cheese — just the thought of it makes you drool. He says he has a secret ingredient. Won’t let you in the kitchen while he cooks for you, lest you find out. 
Sometimes, upon entering his apartment, you can already smell melted butter. He’ll have started on one without even asking if you want it. He knows you always do. 
Sit, he’ll shout from the other room. I’ll be right there. Feel free to put something on — but please, not 13 Going on 30. You’ll thank him and question his distaste for Mark Ruffalo in the same breath: you’re the best, but it’s not my fault Matty is the dream man.
He’ll bring you the wafting plate along with a Corona, and insist that you eat before it goes cold while he makes one for himself. Ever the gentleman, ever the friend — at least he was.
Because the two of you haven’t spoken in a month; not since the drunken hookup that you’re both pretending didn’t happen.
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You’d laughed the entire cab ride home from the bar. That last round of tequila shots had left you feeling good, all warm and giggly, and Frankie mirrored you in the backseat with his drunken grin. Eyes glassy, lips pulled wide, he’d smacked you lightly on the shoulder as you recalled Santiago’s pitiful loss in that third game of pool. “When he pocketed the eight-ball…” he trailed off into another fit of laughter. 
“And then—“ you attempted, voice caught in your throat as another giggle barreled out. “—the cue hitting his drink!” Your entire body folded over, hands braced on Frankie’s thighs as the two of you struggled to regain composure. Through labored breaths, you squealed. “He’s never going to live that down!”
After a few particularly stressful months at work, you lived for these nights out with your friends. You’d met Frankie through your best friend Mal, who was dating his friend Benny, and your circles had eventually meshed into one. Sometimes it felt like it had always been that way, like you’d known the guys your entire life.
Especially Frankie.
Your friendship was a special one — punctuated by frequent trips to the movies to watch the latest horrible slasher film; by nights spent yapping on the phone about nothing in particular. He’d become a constant in your life. Never, in your right mind, would you even dream of doing anything to jeopardize that— 
“You look really hot tonight, by the way.”
He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have. But then it was you who leaned in closer, you who rested your hand on his hip and plucked the Standard Heating Oil cap off his head, placing it atop your own.
It was you who kissed him first.
He deepened it though — that was all him — large, restless hands grasping at your sides, your back, your face; tongue pushing past the seam of your lips to press against yours. He’d groaned into your mouth when the cab stopped at the curb in front of your building. Cursed under his breath when you pulled away.
And then, your voice ragged and breathless, you’d asked, “do you want to come in for a bit?”
It was a mistake. A horrible, blissful mistake. Waking up with sticky thighs and Frankie’s thumbprint bruised into your hip, you’d found his side of the bed cold; your inbox empty. He hadn’t called, hadn’t texted. Still hasn’t.
The aftermath is cursory glances. Half-assed greetings and pleasantries murmured across the bar. Which you don’t mind, really. You don’t want to speak to him. He’d probably just feed you some lie about losing track of time, not remembering what happened that night.
You wish you could forget it.
The visual is fuzzy; fleeting. But his voice — god, his voice — it still rings in your ears, drips at the nape of your neck like a leaking tap: fuck, baby, knew you’d take my cock; feel so good wrapped around me.
Your friends don’t know. They can’t; they wouldn’t let you live it down. Benny has made plenty of offhand comments already about you and Frankie being perfect for each other, having the same stubborn disposition. Mal does nothing to shut him up. Instead, she encourages him. Tells him he’s so right. 
You’re pretty sure your eyeballs are going to fall out someday from glaring too hard.
Because you’re not perfect for each other — far from it, actually. Fuck, you can’t even communicate effectively. How could you ever be in a real relationship? 
Not that you want that. Frankie is…well, Frankie. Sure, he’d felt undeniably incredible on top of you, inside of you — but he isn’t the type to settle down. In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever heard Frankie talk about dating. 
Besides, he’s clearly not interested in being anyone’s anything right now. Not even your friend. 
It hurts; cuts deeper than you care to admit. Just weeks ago, you’d spent an entire weekend at his place, marathoning the X Files and gorging on cold pizza. Now, he won’t even look your way for more than a few seconds. 
Won’t make you a fucking grilled cheese.
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It’s a Friday night, which means you’re meeting your friends at Sid’s. The glow of neon seeping through the windows of the old dive bar is warm and inviting as you step out of your rideshare and make your way toward the doors.
Frankie is sitting at the bar with Santiago when you enter. Hunched shoulders, narrowed eyes trained on his bottle of Corona, he appears detached from whatever Santi is saying to him. He doesn’t acknowledge you when you stroll up to them — not until his friend’s hand lands hard on his back, pulling his attention away from the beer. He offers a half-assed hello and an even more half-assed half-hug, and then he’s sliding back onto his barstool. 
Ever-oblivious, Santiago doesn’t seem to notice the way Frankie curls in on himself; the way your back is up like an agitated cat’s.
Mal and Benny turn up minutes later, immediately ordering a round of shots for the group. You down the liquor eagerly, not bothering to lean on salt and lime to numb the sting. You want to feel it. You order another before joining Mal and the guys at a pool table in the back, letting the acid slide down your throat with no more than a wince as Santi racks the balls.
“Alright Fish, you’re up,” he says. “Me and you. Whoever loses buys the next round.”
You watch as Frankie quirks a brow at him. Takes a swig of his beer. “You sure you want to make that bet, Pope?”
Santi grins; nods confidently. “Hell yeah, I do.” The rest of you don’t bother to suppress your laughter. You catch a glimpse of Frankie, head thrown back, his broad, glistening neck exposed, and you have to fight to ignore the sudden panging in your chest.
When Santi inevitably loses, you order a vodka soda. You’re already feeling a bit tipsy after two shots in less than twenty minutes, so the drink goes down smooth; quick. There’s a rush to your head as you settle back at the bar and fiddle with the wrapper to your straw, letting the slightly soggy paper roll between two fingers.
You barely notice when Frankie slots in a few seats down, your attention drawn only when you hear his voice. It’s deep — sounds just like it did when he had his chest pressed to your back in the dim light of your bedroom — and his intonation nearly gives you whiplash. 
When you snap your head up to look at him, you find he’s speaking to a woman. Her back is turned to you, long, dark hair tossed over her shoulder and her elbow resting casually on the bartop, but you imagine she must be beautiful by the way Frankie is visibly fawning over her. You’re staring, you hear her tease. Can’t help it, comes his reply.
Something like discomfort builds in your throat. Rises up up up. You take a long sip of your drink, letting vodka and sugar push it down. 
You’ve never seen Frankie flirt with anyone, apart from you. It’s strangely unsettling, listening to him smooth-talk her. I’m a pilot, you know, he brags; could take you up in the sky someday if you wanted. Her giddy squeal comes seconds later; really? You’d do that for me?
You feel bad for her. She doesn’t know yet that all he’ll do is disappoint her.
He feeds her lines as you sip on your drink, citrus and grain burning only when he tells her: yeah, I came with friends; they’re all over there. Gestures toward Benny, Mal and Santi standing around the pool table in the back.
Scoffing, you stand from your seat at the bar and retreat to the patio. You don’t bother to check if Frankie is looking. 
It’s cooler here, a sobering breeze carrying salt air with it as it wafts by. A few patrons have spilled outside, most smoking on faintly glowing cigarettes as they talk and laugh boisterously among themselves. You’d planned to sit alone, to plant yourself on a bench and enjoy your drink in solitude. But then a stranger is approaching you — a man, cigarette grasped between two of his fingers — and he’s asking you for a light.
He’s in his mid thirties, if you had to guess. Curly, dark hair sprouts every which way from his scalp; rounded, green eyes studying you as he awaits a response. He’s tall, though not as tall as Frankie.  His shoulders aren’t nearly as broad and his chest isn’t quite as wide. His t-shirt hangs loose around his torso, swallowing his narrow frame — dissimilar to the way Frankie’s button-down clings to him. 
Then again — why are you even comparing? Maybe the opposite of Frankie is exactly what you need. 
You’ll have to seduce this stranger first, though. Not that it seems like it’ll be very difficult. His eyes are already raking over you, lips turned up at the corner as you take a casual sip of your drink.
“I don’t smoke,” you admit apologetically. 
“Ah — that’s alright.” 
He has an accent; midwestern, maybe? You don’t bother to ask. You don’t care, really. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is—
“You here all by yourself?”
“Yeah,” he laughs at your lack of subtlety. “Are you?”
“No,” you say. “My friends are inside.” Lowering your voice, you add, “but I was thinking about leaving soon.”
“Why’s that? Early morning tomorrow?”
You shake your head. Rub at your neck as if working out a knot, a contented hum pushing past your lips at the press of fingers into skin. Your stranger’s eyes trail rather conspicuously downward.
“Just over it,” you sigh exasperatedly. “I’d much rather be home…in bed…out of these clothes.”
You pull gently at the strap of your dress, as if you can’t bear the sensation of it against your shoulder any longer.
Your stranger’s gaze darkens, and the grip on his box of cigarettes grows tighter.
“You uh — want some company — once I find a light?”
Too fucking easy.
“Sure,” you giggle.
He slips away only for a minute or two, giving you just enough time to second-guess yourself. You know nothing about this man, not even his name; only that he smokes American Spirits and smells like tobacco. Should you really go home with him? 
But then you think of Frankie inside  — talking up a woman at the bar, pretending that you don’t exist — and that just about makes up your mind for you.
Your stranger reappears, now-lit cigarette dangling from his lips. The tip of it rages red and angry, and you think you know how that feels.
He smirks at you as he stuffs the pack into the front pocket of his jeans. An unceremonious silence hangs in the air as he sucks on the filter and puffs out a string of smoke. You wait patiently for him, quietly. 
He snuffs the butt of his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray. Takes your empty cup and discards that too. 
Can’t wait to get you home, he whispers in your ear then. You feign arousal, peering up at him and batting your eyelashes. Me neither, you mewl. Let’s go.
You lead him back through the bar, finding Mal and letting her know that you’ll be going. She seems a little perplexed, quirking a brow at you as you grip tightly onto your stranger’s arm, but she tells you to have fun anyway. Text me, she mouths as you make your way to the exit.
You only get a few feet, though, before you’re intercepted.
Frankie is blocking the door, arms crossed, a panic-stricken look on his face that you can’t quite comprehend. “Hey,” he says, “can I talk to you real quick?”
Your stranger backs off. Lets go of your arm and starts out the door. “I’ll wait outside,” he says, slipping away with a wink before you can protest.
The bar is bustling with noise, people in every corner drinking and laughing and dancing. Strangely, though, you’ve never felt so alone. So vulnerable. And you hate that Frankie has this power over you, the innate ability to make you feel so fucking small. It’s infuriating, it’s—
“Are you sure you want to leave with him?”
“Excuse me?” you scoff. 
Frankie stares you down, face red, eyes inky-black. “You don’t know this guy, do you? What if he’s a murderer or something? Or like — a pervert?” 
He’s grasping at straws, you know it. It’s why you laugh; roll your eyes. 
“What are you, my keeper?”
“No, it’s just — I’m just concerned for your safety, okay?”
You’re briefly stunned. After weeks of ignoring you, he cares about your wellbeing? How can he be so hypocritical?
“I’m fine,” you bite back. “Why don’t you go back to your girl at the bar? Worry about getting yourself some instead?”
He’s wounded, if only slightly. His lips part like he might retaliate, but he’s silent. Dejected. Satisfied, you brush past him. March out the door without so much as a parting glance.
Finding your stranger leaning against the bar’s brick exterior, you force a smile. He outstretches a hand and you take it, reluctantly. “Ready to go?” he asks. 
You’re not so sure anymore, but you nod anyway. Squeeze your stranger’s bicep and preen under his lustful gaze when he tenses in your grip. “Yeah,” you purr. “I’m ready.”
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Cold air bites at your toes the following morning. It wakes you from a deep slumber; bitterly pulls you into consciousness. Confused, you yank at the covers. But a mysterious weight holds them in place, and only then do you remember then that you’re not alone. 
Eyes sliding open reluctantly, you scan the room. Your dress from the night before is draped over the chair in the corner, your stranger’s clothes piled up on the floor nearby. He snores next to you, an arm raising to hang above his head, and you shift. Slip out of bed and pull a t-shirt on before padding into the bathroom.
Early morning light spills across tile, bounces off the mirror above the sink. You squint, shuffling over to the window and yanking the blinds closed. Then you check for damage in your reflection. Your makeup from the night before has stained your cheeks and your eyes look as tired as you feel, but otherwise there appears to be no physical evidence of your rock bottom.
The sex wasn’t great — not even good, really. Your stranger had lasted all of three minutes, had fanned his hot breath across the shell of your ear as he came, and then collapsed on top of you. Rolled over and drifted to sleep. He’d started snoring before you could even process what had just happened.
Cold water splashed across your cheeks does nothing to cool the burn of regret that scorches your skin. You feel uncomfortable, almost as if your body is tainted, now, remnants of your stranger leaking from between your thighs as you steady yourself at the edge of the sink. 
He must’ve heard the tap, or maybe the pounding in your chest, because he emerges seconds later. He yawns and stretches, feline-like, in the doorway. “Hey,” he mutters. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good,” you say, eyes twitching slightly as you will them to stay put above his waistline. 
“You always up this early?”
You nod. It’s a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that you’d nearly jumped out of bed at the sight of him still there. He doesn’t need to know that for a split second, you’d almost hoped it was Frankie.
He asks if you want to get breakfast. You shake your head in faux-sympathy. “Sorry, can’t. I was hoping to get some cleaning done.”
“I could stick around and help,” he offers. 
Jesus Christ. Just take the fucking hint.
“That’s so nice of you; I’m just more efficient by myself,” you lie again. 
If Frankie were here, he’d grab the cleaning rags out of the closet just off the kitchen. He knows where they’re kept: second shelf, on the left. He’d wipe down the counters and the coffee table while you’d work on clearing dishes, disposing of pizza scraps. And he’d probably put on his dad-rock playlist — against your wishes — though you’d inevitably find yourself dancing to Foo Fighters and giggling when he’d sing along and mess up the words.
It begins to sink in then, as you shoo your stranger, now dressed, out the door, that your attempt to use sex as a way to get Frankie out of your head was useless. He’s still there, refusing quite adamantly to budge, all mussed curls and big eyes and deep voice. There’s no evidence that he’ll be leaving any time soon.
The revelation renders you nauseous. You spend the rest of the day with a hangover that you’re sure has not been induced by alcohol. And by the time night falls, darkness descending over your bedroom like a fog, you still feel sick.
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A week later, you drag yourself to Benny and Mal’s for their monthly game night. You’d tried to get out of it, told Mal you haven’t been feeling great — which isn't a total lie — but she’d begged you until you broke. 
Will is coming, and it’ll be the first time we’ve all gotten together in over a year, she’d whined through the receiver. 
And then-
I know things were weird between you and Frankie last time at the bar, but you can’t let that stop us from seeing each other.
How do you know that, you’d asked, chewing on your bottom lip, the phone tucked between your ear and your shoulder.
He basically moped around the rest of the night after you left. Kept bitching about you leaving with that guy. He seemed really…agitated. You don’t have to tell me what happened, just please don’t bail.
So you’re here, steeling yourself as you climb the steps to the front door, hoping that if nothing else, you can make it through the night without strangling Frankie for his lack of discretion. 
You enter the house with baited breath.
Your eyes immediately catch Frankie, tucked into the corner of the sectional, fingers wrapped tightly around his beer. He meets your gaze briefly before letting it slip to the floor by his feet, as if he’s trying to pretend he hasn’t seen you at all. 
“Hi,” you try.
He looks back up at you, or rather past you. Taps his fingers along the bottle for a long moment. “Hey,” he says finally, to the wall behind your head.
“How have you been?” the words come out forced, almost foreign. You shift your weight awkwardly and he sighs. 
“Fine. I’m fine.” 
“Right,” you mutter. More silence. “Me too, in case you were wondering.”
“Good,” he says, voice cold. “That’s good.”
You’re not sure whether you want to slap him or kiss him. Because as infuriating as he’s being right now, he looks gorgeous, denim shirt hugging his biceps, his shoulders; stray curls peaking out from under that stupid Standard Heating Oil hat. You yearn to rip it off his head, run your fingers through his hair, nip along the sharp line of his jaw; the broad expanse of his neck.
You long to feel something other than the prominent ache that’s permeated your body for weeks, now. And you fear that he’s the only one who’d be able to alleviate it.
Your mouth opens again just as Benny emerges from the kitchen. Whatever words you were about to utter are lost in the ether as he pulls you into a suffocating hug and thanks you for coming. 
“Mal’s in the kitchen,” he says. Grabs a handful of Lays from a bowl on the coffee table and shovels them into his mouth. Still chewing, he adds, “we got those wine coolers you like; they’re in the fridge.”
With a hurried thanks, you slip away unscathed.
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You find Mal crouched in front of the open fridge, rustling through a produce drawer stocked with beer cans. 
“Hey,” you announce. 
She seems almost surprised to see you when she cranes her neck toward your voice, despite your promise to show. Eyebrows raised, mouth slightly agape, it’s as if she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. She pulls another drawer open. Fishes out a wine cooler and passes it to you with an outstretched arm. 
You take it in one hand. Help her up with the other. 
“You’re here,” she says, and it sounds like more of a question than a statement. 
“Yeah. I said I would be.”
“I know, I know. It’s just — I wasn’t sure. The whole Frankie thing…” 
“It’s nothing; I promise,” you lie. “Water under the bridge. We’re fine.”
She quirks a brow at you, disbelief coloring her features, but she lets it go. Closes the fridge with a thunk and adjusts her sweater at the hem. “Good,” she says. “I don’t want you two ruining game night.”
It’s half a joke, but you know deep down she means it. She takes this all very seriously. Back in college, she’d forced you and your suitemates to play Cards Against Humanity with her every weekend. None of you had the heart to tell her when it started to grow monotonous, and so the tradition carried on well past graduation, eventually evolving into a new tradition with new friends.
Games bring people together, she’d said once over a round of Monopoly that had stretched well into the night, resulting in delirious laughter and a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest.
You’d believed her at the time. Now, you’re not so sure that it’s foolproof.
The two of you rejoin the guys in the living room, Santiago and Will having shown up in your absence. You greet them as Benny pulls out a stack of game boxes. Settle on the couch, as far away from Frankie as you can manage.
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It starts during the second round of Charades. 
The first round had gone fine — good, even. Teamed up with Santi and Will, you’d avoided eye contact with Frankie for the whole of it. Focused only on guessing Santi’s horribly-mimed clues in between handfuls of trail mix and sips of watermelon-flavored bubbles.
It’d felt a bit like old times, all of you in one room again. Mal snuggling into Benny on the loveseat; Will catching his brother up on time spent touring the country, giving motivational speeches to recently discharged veterans. He’d asked you how you’ve been as Santi studied his next word, and you’d remembered then that everything was very much not how it once was.
And you hadn’t missed Frankie’s discomfort at the question; the way he set his beer bottle down on the table with a bit too much force, glass clanging against wood. Though if Will noticed too, he hadn’t said anything. Just moved into a story about some woman he met on the road that reminded him of you.
Santi’s turn had ended with a whopping zero points for your team, and now Frankie is standing at the front of the room, unfolding the scrap of paper in his hand and reading it to himself. In the lull, you find yourself staring at him, eyes near glazing over at the sight of the tiny paper pinched between long, thick fingers. Fingers you remember the reach of, the weight of. 
He crumples the paper and stuffs it into his pocket, signaling that he’s ready to go. Mal flips over the sand timer on the table. And you almost don’t notice at first when he starts, mind occupied by equal parts lust and annoyance, that he’s fucking mouthing the phrase.
You watch, enraged, as Benny squints to read his lips. He raises his hand excitedly and jumps to his feet; yells out the answer with a sureness that Frankie affirms with a nod. 
“That’s right. It’s the Empire State Building.”
“That’s fucking cheating!” you shout, a bit angrier than the situation calls for, and the room grows quiet. Fury coursing through you, you add, “are you fucking serious, Frankie?”
You feel the eyes on you; the awkward sheen you’ve cast over the room. Mal shifts across from you, glaring when you turn to face her, and you laugh defensively. 
“What, nobody else thinks that’s unfair?”
“Please,” Frankie sneers. 
“No, she’s right,” Santi tries — ever the peacemaker. “We’ll just add a rule going forward; no mouthing the words.”
“Fuck that,” you hiss. “I want their point taken away.”
Frankie scoffs from the other side of the room. “Bullshit! We earned that before the rule was added.”
You’re fuming now, standing to get a bit closer to his height; though he still towers over you. Mal is right on your heels, placing a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to placate you. You brush her off. Take another stride toward Frankie.
“There shouldn’t need to be an official rule against it, Frankie. It’s common fucking sense — which clearly, you have none of.”
Visibly offended, he says nothing. Just tenses his jaw.
“Why did you come tonight?” you continue, voice more level now; direct. 
You hear your name uttered behind you, tone pleading, warning. You ignore it. 
“Seriously, why?”
He’s quiet for a long, drawn-out moment, eyes pointed at the floor again.  
“What are you talking about?” he spits, finally. 
You laugh, amused and irritated, and these things somehow feel one in the same. “I mean, clearly you don’t want to be in my presence or even acknowledge my existence — unless it’s to cockblock me — so why are you here?”
His brows furrow; lips twist. For a second, you think he might actually leave. He adjusts his cap, jangles the car key in his pocket — but Benny stops him before he can take a step.
“Just — cut it out, okay? Both of you.”
“He’s the one-“
“I don’t care,” Benny interjects. Scanning the room, you catch sight of Santi and Will and Mal, all visibly agitated, and you sigh.
Guilt washes over you, then. The twisting of Santi’s face, Mal’s doleful stare, the wordless look exchanged between Benny and Will. All confirm your fear that you’ve effectively ruined their night. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble. 
Frankie echoes your apology. Still, the others aren’t impressed. 
“I don’t know what’s been going on lately with you two, but you need to figure this shit out,” Benny says. He sounds like a parent: stern and slightly disappointed. “Can you please just — go in the other room and talk through it?”
Though you haven’t much cared for Frankie’s opinion as of late, you still turn to him to gauge his reaction. He appears just as hesitant as you are, just as guilt-stricken. But something more lurks behind his eyes — something like fear, anxiety. Why, you aren’t sure.
You raise a brow at him, a wordless question. He answers with a sigh. 
“Fine,” you both say at once.
“Thank goodness,” Mal chimes. Herding you two like cattle with a hand on each of your backs, she leads you out of the living room and into the adjoining hallway. 
Her voice drones behind you as you make your way toward the third door on the right. Shall we continue the game?
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The guest room is primly kept. It appears almost untouched at first glance, though you know that to be untrue. You’ve stayed here before, after blurry nights spent drinking shitty gin and singing karaoke. That must’ve been years ago now, though, after Mal and Benny first bought this house, and you begin to wonder if your tumultuous friendship with Frankie only made you neglect your friendship with her. And that only adds to the anger stirring inside of you — because what was it all worth, if it’s ended up like this?
Frankie closes the door behind him with a click, and the air in the room feels exponentially thicker. 
“What the fuck was that?” you hiss. 
He scoffs. “Me? You’re the one who freaked out and started an argument over nothing!”
“It wasn’t nothing. You were cheating.”
“Please.” He rolls his eyes. Takes two steps toward you. “That’s not what this is about and you know it.”
“Oh,” you laugh, “so you are aware that you’ve been an asshole?”
He says your name, voice suddenly lower, softer. Your entire body tenses as you struggle to keep strong, to not think about how it sounded in your ear in the midst of pleasure.
“I wasn’t trying to be-”
You throw a hand up; silence him. “Well you have been,” you groan. “You’ve been a huge fucking asshole. You hurt me, Frankie. You were my best friend, and then you just… stopped returning my texts. You won’t even look at me when we’re in the same room together. Did you regret it that much?”
The room goes still. You watch as Frankie’s chest rises and falls arduously, his eyes settling on you. They’re dark, pupils blown wide, squeezing shut as he exhales long and hard.
“No.”
You quirk a brow at him, confused.
“No?”
“No,” he repeats, averting his gaze. “And that’s the problem — I didn’t regret it at all.” His eyes lift slowly, finding you again, voice more sure when he adds, “I’ve wanted it for a long time”
You can barely comprehend what he’s saying, your heart climbing its way out of your ribcage and up your throat. You gulp, feeling the shape of it there as saliva slowly slides past. 
He takes another two steps forward, mere inches from you now, and your breath hitches.
“Do you know how difficult it’s been to look at you without getting fucking hard?” he whispers. “How many times I’ve fucked my fist in the past month imagining it was you?”
Your mouth falls open, stunned. “That girl at the bar-”
He shakes his head. “I thought maybe if I fucked someone else, it would help.”
“And did it?”
“I didn’t — I didn’t go home with her,” he admits, a little bashfully. “I couldn’t do it.” 
His hand lifts, then, cautious and shaky. It finds its way to your face, grazes your jaw so softly you’d think you imagined it if you couldn’t see.
“Why not?” you squeak.
He nods, as if he’s finally accepting something he’s known to be true, admitting it to himself before he does so out loud.
“Because she wasn’t you.”
It feels as if your entire world has spun on its axis. 
Without thinking, you wrap your hand around Frankie’s neck and pull him toward you, crashing your lips into his with a groan. He’s quick to respond, desperately tangling his fingers in your hair and winding his tongue around yours, a broken moan slipping from his throat. 
For a long moment, that’s all it is. It’s clashing teeth and restless hands; the draw of blood and the taste of it, earthy and metallic on your tongue. It’s the two of you, reconciling for lost time and unshared feelings and the overlooked need for each other through tangled bodies. 
And when you finally pull apart, his lips are swollen and his eyes are glazed over, and you’re sure you don’t look much different.
“Frankie,” you whine as his mouth latches to your neck, warm and wet. He doesn’t retreat; just hums against you. 
“Need you,” you say breathlessly. “Need you to touch me.”
His large hand skates down your front, under the waistband of your leggings. He presses two fingers against your clothed clit, and your knees buckle. You lean into him, bracing yourself with a hand on his chest as he begins rubbing small, deliberate circles into cotton. 
Lips trailing up to your ear, he nibbles at the lobe. Presses his tongue just behind the shell of it and sighs. “Been wanting this since that night. Want to make you feel good. Want to do it right.”
You mewl in response, high-pitched and too loud, and you have to bite into his shoulder to keep from crying out again. He’s still working you toward the brink, pace relentless, beseeching you every time you buck into his hand. 
There you go baby, that’s it; I got you. 
You know he does, can feel the support of his unoccupied hand at the small of your back, holding you to his strong body. And god, how you’ve missed the feeling of it pressed to yours. You think that that alone could make you come.
You feel yourself slipping as your orgasm approaches, legs slumping underneath you more and more with every pass of his fingers. “Frankie,” you warn, teeth still anchored in his skin. “I’m going to-“
The words are muffled, but he gets it. Presses down harder and works his fingers faster. “Come on baby,” he growls in your ear, “come on.”
Your orgasm hits you so hard that you collapse, your body dead weight in Frankie’s grip as you writhe. He grasps onto you tightly, working you through it with his unyielding touch, swiping back and forth, back and forth as the final waves crest. 
You’re panting when it ends, and still when Frankie helps you to the edge of the bed. Perched there, staring up at him with glassy eyes, you realize you’ve never felt so sated and so needy at the same time.
“Frankie?”
“Yeah, baby?” 
“Please fuck me.”
He should probably say no. After all, you’re in your friends’ guest room, people just a few hundred feet on the other side of the door. But then again, he’s already made you come.
You watch him consider it, eyes flickering to the door and back to you, dark and deep and pooling with want. 
In the end, he can’t help himself.
“Can you be quiet, querida?” 
You nod, though you’re sure that even if you said no, he wouldn’t care. He’d do just as he’s doing now: pressing your shoulder, encouraging you to lay down on the bed; helping you pull your sneakers off, then your leggings, then your shirt; stepping back to marvel at your half-naked form before him. 
“Fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, and your entire body heats from the inside out. You feel like you’re on fire, his stare keeping you alight as he undresses down to his boxers.
He climbs over you with a hand on either side of your head, pressed into the mattress. The lip of his hat bumps you, and you immediately rip it off of him, tossing it aside and tangling your fingers in dark curls. 
You tug at them, dragging him down until his face is hovering just above yours, and he responds with a strangled moan. His body pressed to yours now, you can feel the weight of his hard cock against your clothed pussy. Your mouth finds his again in a languid kiss — slow and deep. You feed each other sighs and moans, taste each other’s longing. His hips roll into yours with every exhale, teasing you — reminding you, and you feel like you’re steadily going insane.
He pulls back, panting. Rests his forehead on yours.
“Can I take this off?” he asks, plucking at the strap of your bra. You nod furiously. Lift the upper half of your body so that he can undo the clasps.
Breasts suddenly exposed, you feel your nipples begin to harden. Frankie groans at the sight of them, so pert and needing. Wordlessly, he dips his head, buries his face in your chest. His tongue wraps around one of your nipples and you cry out, hand flying to your mouth in an instant. 
“Oh fuck,” you moan into your palm.
“Feel good?” he asks, knowing smirk playing on his lips as he shifts his focus to the other nipple. You feel so sensitive everywhere, the heft of his tongue going straight to your clit, and you can barely answer him. A shaky yes tumbles from your mouth — the best you can do. He hums, so low the vibrations burrow under your skin and barrel through you, and you keen at the sensation.
“God, you sound so pretty,” he sighs as he rolls one of your stiff peaks between two fingers. His other hand drifts down your body, dips between the two of you and pulls your panties aside. 
“Fuck,” he curses, fingertip brushing over your seam just barely. “You’re soaked, bebita. That all for me?”
“Mhm,” you whine. “All for you Frankie; fuck-“
He’s shifts down your body, hooks both arms under your legs and drags you toward him in one swift motion, leaving you no time to process before his tongue is on your pussy. “Have to taste you,” he babbles drunkenly, plunging into your leaking cunt and lapping at you.
“Oh, oh shit,” you moan as he drags his tongue up to your clit. “Please baby, please.”
“I know; I got you,” he soothes. Then he begins to lave your clit with the soft flat of his tongue, warm muscle encircling the throbbing nub. Wide eyes staring up at you, he observes intently. Responds to every sound, every tell with a switch in direction or an increase in pressure. He’s so attentive, so desperate to make you come on his mouth, and it sends you into a sort of delirium. 
Your second orgasm hits you out of nowhere, slams through your body with so much intensity, you don’t even have the strength to warn Frankie before your release is gushing all over his face and, undoubtedly, the bed below. 
He growls against your cunt. Comes up for air and kisses you hard, letting you taste yourself on his tongue as he tugs his boxers down and frees his aching cock. Notches at your entrance without detaching his lips from yours.
It’s a stretch — you recall it being so last time too — though the alcohol had done wonders to loosen your body. Now, you feel every devastating inch of him as he pushes in. He’s gentle. Tells you how good you’re doing as he feeds you more and more of his cock. There you go, that’s my girl, taking it so well for me. And for some reason, him calling you his nearly makes you come again. 
He notices the way you preen in response. Thumbs across the slope of your jaw as he settles inside you. “You like that, baby? Like me calling you mine?”
“Yes, Frankie — fuck. Want it.”
You don’t specify whether you mean him or his cock. You’re not entirely sure. Not that it matters. You know he’ll give you both, give you anything. Can feel it in the way he gazes at you through heart-shaped eyes as he lets you adjust to him.
 “So fucking beautiful, you know that?”
Your eyes roll back and saliva pools in your mouth. “God,” you breathe.
“I’m serious,” he says, finally beginning to move. The slow drag of his cock brushes your g-spot and you gasp. “Was so stupid before, fucking you drunk. Wanna remember every second, every noise you make, every inch of your perfect fucking body.”
“Jesus, Frankie.”
He pushes back in with one deep thrust. Sets a pace that, while not rough, definitely isn’t gentle. You begin to babble and writhe under him. Hook your legs around him so he can get even deeper.
He groans. “Tell me how it feels, baby.”
“It’s so fucking good,” you cry. “Feels like fucking heaven, Frankie.”
“Nah, that’s you.” He lets his head fall on your shoulder, drives into you faster. Pants into the crook of your neck. “Perfect fucking pussy.” 
It ends all too quickly — with your fingernails dug into his back and his sweaty curls sticking to your forehead. Your cunt clenching around his cock, pulling his orgasm out of him just as yours begins to roll through you. You free fall from the cliff’s edge together, breathless moans spilling between your slotted mouths, his warmth flooding you and leaking from the place you’re still connected.
As the room around you slowly comes back into focus, you hear the sound of distant laughter. Benny’s boisterous chuckle and Mal’s much softer one. Clearly distracted, they’re likely blissfully unaware of what’s just happened. You giggle, covering your face as Frankie pulls out.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, prying your hands away. 
“We’re gonna have to get them a new bedspread. We just defiled this one.”
He stands, then, pulling you upright with him. You squeal as blood rushes to your head and your vision goes staticky. 
“Worth it,” he smirks. Gives you a chaste kiss. “Got my girl back.”
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You dress and rejoin the group as inconspicuously as possible. Pray they don’t notice the way you’re wobbling on your feet, or the sheen of sweat that’s coated your skin. 
“You sort everything out?” Santi smirks knowingly as you reassume your place on the couch, Frankie settling back into the corner.
“Yeah,” he mutters, refusing to make eye contact. 
“It’s about time,” Benny shouts from the kitchen. Frankie’s head shoots up, pivots toward his voice.
“What do you mean?”
He emerges in the doorway with a shit-eating grin. Mal stifles a laugh from the loveseat.
“Just saying it’s about time,” he shrugs. “That’s all.” 
Shit; apparently you hadn’t been as quiet as you thought.
The others chuckle as you and Frankie exchange a mortified look. The embarrassment is short lived though, Will clapping his hands together, asking what game you all want to play next.
An hour later, after a couple rounds of Codenames and another wine cooler, you head out the door with Frankie right beside you. It feels odd, not hiding anymore. But more so, it feels right. 
He leans you against your SUV under silver moonlight. Kisses you with plush, soft lips against yours; restless hands roving up your sides. Pulls back with a suspiciously large grin.
You cock an eyebrow at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” he says. “Just glad I stopped being an idiot.”
“I don’t know about that,” you tease, and he smacks you gently on the arm.
“Come over?” he asks, his hand draped over your waist. 
You think on it for only a second. Nod. “Yeah. As long as you make me a grilled cheese.”
“That can be arranged.” 
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end notes: thank you so much for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider commenting and/or reblogging :)
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auberosier · 2 months
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just thinking about (insert pedro boy) helping me study, all cross-legged on the floor, with their legs straight. almost touching, but not quite. there are flashcards in their hand, looking much smaller than they do in mine, as he gives me that stern look as he waits for an answer. one my brain can't fathom responding with because... eyes, all brown and wide, on a face i can't stop thinking about atop broad shoulders.
"if you answer, i'll take an item of clothing off."
and then the answer suddenly appears.
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auberosier · 2 months
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Now imagine Marcus Pike dating his tattooed bisexual neighbour who smokes weed and listens to rap, rnb and jazz.
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auberosier · 2 months
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second chances | series masterlist
wip | ao3
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Summary: After Marcus moves to DC - alone - he's determined to just focus on work. After a failed marriage followed with his failed relationship with Lisbon, Marcus believes that love just isn't in the cards for him anymore. Until you move in next door. Character pairing: Marcus Pike x fem!Reader Rating: 18+ minors dni, each chapter will have its own warnings.
Part 1.
Part 2.
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auberosier · 2 months
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Complete Masterlist
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Summary: On the first day of school you meet single dad Frankie Morales and his daughter who is enrolled in your first grade class. As the year progresses, what started as parent-teacher conversations grow deeper, your encounters grow more frequent and feelings that you shouldn’t entertain for a student’s parent are becoming harder and harder to ignore. 
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI as a rule, fluff, DAD!FRANKIE (it’s a whole thing),TF guys shenanigans, slow burn with a happy ending, angst, mentions and occurences of anxiety and PTSD, smut (chapters will be marked*). Additional warnings regarding smut and angst will be added to individual chapters. Some chapters are marked Author Chose Not to Apply Archive Warnings because it would spoil the plot. 
This story is part of a larger universe.
This story is a Triple Frontier AU in which the events of the movie do/did not happen. Characters are still the same except for Tom, Tom doesn’t exist in this universe. 
There is a slight age gap of about less than 10 years, Reader being based on me, a teacher in my mid-thirties. I imagine Frankie to be in his early forties in this. The age gap plays no part in the story whatsoever. 
This is a Reader fic that I’ve been trying my best to make as inclusive as possible but I do slip up sometimes, apologies. She has no physical description except for hair that can brushed out of her face sometimes. She has some back story and a family that is sometimes mentioned but in no particular details. She has nicknames related to her job. No use of y/n.
A/N: I’d been entertaining the idea of a teacher!reader meeting hot single dad Frankie for some times before I saw @meveispunk​‘s post in the tag and that was motivation enough to make this story happen. 
I have a playlist of songs I’ve listened to while writing or that have been the inspiration behind some of the story. 
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |
Chapter 5 * | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |
Chapter 9 * | Chapter 10 * | Chapter 11 * |
Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 * | Chapter 14 * |
Chapter 15 + Muffins, Oranges and Earrings Outtake
Chapter 16 *
Epilogue + BTS post
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auberosier · 2 months
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I'm rewatching Elementary (the other British Sherlock Holmes series lol) and I really think more people need to talk about this series.
Some of the many great things about it:
Watson is an Chinese-American woman and former surgeon turned sober companion
Demystifies Sherlock's deductions and takes great care to show that he and his friends/associates are equals, something that Sherlock himself points out frequently
Doesn't play Sherlock's drug addiction for laughs, and instead uses it to showcase how much work goes into getting and staying sober and the way it effects your entire life
You know how everyone always says they want a show where queer characters just exist without it being their entire personality or driving the narrative? This is that show
Ms. Hudson is a trans woman whom multiple cis men are stated to be madly in love with
One of the cases involves 2 different polyamorous couples, and Watson is directly stated to be unhappy in traditional, monogamous relationships
Watson also adopts and becomes a single mother, something that is shown to be strictly positive
Several characters have disabilities and chronic illnesses, including Gregson's 2nd wife Paige, who has MS and one of Sherlock's love interests Fiona, who is autistic
There is an episode titled "A Giant Gun Full of Drugs"
One of the later main characters takes very violent revenge on the man who kidnapped and raped her, and when she comes back after evading capture the police captain is literally like "Long time no see, lol, what attempted murder"
There is never any romantic tension between Watson and Sherlock just because Guy+Girl+Close Relationship must equal romance, and even when it's joked about it's usually to point out how ridiculous the idea would be. I personally interpret their relationship as queerplatonic as Watson moves an entire continent so they can stay together when Sherlock has to leave the country, and Sherlock is instantly ready to change his life around, make the house safe for kids, and co-raise her son when Watson expresses the desire to adopt. Also he names a species of bee after her.
That's not even all of it, but those are my favorites lol
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auberosier · 2 months
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Nothing like getting into Elementary after being a BBC Sherlock fan for so long. Sherlock was overhyped to the point where I was barely aware of Elementary's existence. Now having finished the first season of Elementary, I find it to be infinitely superior. (The same way I find the Davies era of Doctor Who infinitely superior to Moffat's, but that's a rant for another time.) It's incredible how a show can have roughly the same premise and elements and yet one can be so vastly superior.
Miller's Sherlock Holmes has many of the same flaws as Cumberbatch's. Miller's Sherlock can be abrasive and insensitive and even demanding at times, and yet he's far more likeable than Cumberbatch's. Elementary Sherlock Holmes endeavors to acknowledge his failings and apologize, he endeavors to do better. Where BBC Sherlock Holmes loves to humiliate people to prove his cleverness, Elementary Sherlock tries (with mixed results) not to cross lines that are too personal. Elementary Sherlock Holmes doesn't view everyone around him as a complete and utter imbecile; he respects those who put him in his place when he's being an ass. Elementary Sherlock cares about the well-being of others and at times barely manages to keep his anger under wraps when he deals with the evil of the world.
(Of course, it's okay to write a character with flaws, but when you romanticize those flaws it is quickly exhausting to watch.)
I'm usually a little hard on American adaptations despite being an American myself, but CBS Elementary respects its viewers whereas BBC Sherlock insists on treating you like a complete and utter imbecile for having the gall to ask about the giant plot holes littered throughout the show.
CBS Elementary tells a compelling story about Sherlock's struggle with mental health and addiction that humanizes the character. Sherlock has an interesting and compelling dynamic with his family where he feels neglected by his father, correctly predicting yet another failure to follow through at dinner. BBC Sherlock gives us a background for the main character that makes no sense after the writer said it would be a mistake to go there.
BBC Sherlock takes one of the most iconic female antagonists of all time and just... ruins the whole story with her. Elementary respects its female characters, isn't an all-white cast, and responds to the possibility of people being LGBT with a mere shrug, as if it's nothing out of the ordinary. (In stark contrast to BBC Sherlock that reminds you every five minutes its main characters aren't gay and then decided that they'd make their main villain scary by having him act gay to the point where it's noted by characters on screen, including said villain himself. Also his main motivation is he's obsessed with the main character I guess??)
It's... wild to think that all this time I could have been enjoying a show that didn't make me feel like an idiot for liking it. Oh well, I get to enjoy it now.
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auberosier · 3 months
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Barking up the Wrong Tree - MASTER LIST
Series Summary/Description – Frankie is your neighbor and crush, but he’s not dating. It still breaks his heart while he watches you go through some awful dates of your own and struggle with your ex-husband. Why won’t you see that you deserve more? 
Triggers/Warnings – 18 and over please – Light Abusive relationship, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, single parenting, mentions of recovering drug abuse, angst, sexual content, possible sexual content to come, will add warnings to chapters as needed. It’s important to include anything that’s remotely triggering.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
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auberosier · 3 months
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"Not all men..."
Yeah your right José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal would never treat me like this
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auberosier · 3 months
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Please tag accordingly
Can we normalize only using character tags (character x reader) for character fanfics and only using RP tags ( RP x reader ) when writing RPF.
It's nearly impossible finding RPF fics when every tag is just full of character fics, it's chaos and it's annoying.
Please.
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auberosier · 4 months
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taglist [the bodyguard]
the bodyguard— din djarin x reader taglist!!!
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if anyone would like to be added to the taglist for my mini series 'the bodyguard' based on the mandalorian/din djarin, pls interact with this post (comment, reblog, like or send me a message!!
if you'd like to be taken off at any time, pls let me know!! <3
do not interact (including likes) if you're not interested in being tagged!
thank you for the new followers, i appreciate the support and your interest in my work <3333
[this is a repost of my original taglist]
elle <3
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auberosier · 4 months
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auberosier · 4 months
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It's been four years of the same guy breaking my heart over and over again. That’s embarrassing.
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auberosier · 4 months
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Secret Smokes (Series Masterlist)
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Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship, SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride, angst, fluff, non-cannon compliant (I mean it's mostly canon except Sirius isn't in Azkaban and there's Voldemort never came back.
PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
PART 4
PART 5
PART 6
PART 7
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Check out my other stuff here: MASTERLIST
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auberosier · 4 months
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Secret Smokes (Part 7)
Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship, Slowburn, angst, jealousy, fluff
Word Count: 2681
A/N: Where's the update? You promised it on Sunday? Well, happy Tuesday I've been busy.
 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |
Previous Chapter, Part 7, Next Chapter
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On Monday morning you received an OWL from Lupin once again. "Please remember about your tutoring lesson this evening and about your DADA classes this week. R.Lupin." You looked up from the note and saw Lupin was already looking at you while having a discussion with Hagrid who was sitting beside him, Lupin's eyes were fixed on you even when he spoke, you gave him a gentle smile and he smiled back still not looking away.
You attended Lupin's class as you were instructed to, he was quite active in the lesson waving his arms around like he used to. It seemed like he had regained some of the charismatic energy that defined him as a teacher. After your classes that day you went to his classroom for your tutoring and he wasn't in the room you called out "Professor?" And you could hear him upstairs in the office you stood on the bottom of the stairs and heard him shout back. "Y/N, I'm making tea would you like anything?"
"Uh no I'm okay thank you." You replied stunned by his pleasant behaviour. Not that Lupin wasn't usually this well-mannered, he was with literally everyone that's why his recent actions towards you hurt so much.
"Very well." He said coming down the stairs with his own mug, now wearing a sweater rather than his blazer like in your lesson earlier in the day, the spoon inside the mug was stirring by itself with wand-less magic. "Now I wanted to begin work on your Patronus Charm however due to your absence for the last two weeks today we're going to have to catch up on the lessons you missed." He said opening the theory book.
"That's so not fair." You stated in a huff.
"I promise I'll make this quick, and at the end we can duel to see if you remember everything I taught you." He said in a gentle tone sipping on his tea.
"So I can beat you and show you how I don't need your theory?" You asked and he laughed gently.
"If you can knock my wand out of my hand you can choose what we study on Wednesday. Now let's begin how familiar are you with werewolves." He now sat on a desk in front of you that had his book open while you sat on the table in front with yours closed. He was towering over you but you didn't feel intimidated.
"Very much, I hear they're really lovely, they wear warm sweaters but they get angsty around the full moon." You replied and he had a small smile forming on the edge of his lips.
"They don't get angsty around full moons." He stated trying not to laugh.
"They do." You said in an all-knowing voice.
"They don't."
"Well you've obviously never met one."
"Werewolves don't get angsty around the full moon." He said using air quotes around the word angsty.
"So it's just a you thing?" You asked and he just broke out laughing and put his face in his palms. What you didn't know is nothing warmed Lupin's heart more than someone being able to laugh at his condition, he always felt like people either feared him or feared the subject like it was some secret that could never be talked about with anyone except the marauders, you made him feel normal, but you also confused him more than anyone he's ever met.
He realised at the three broomsticks that he's gotten too close to you, not only that but you were developing feelings for him and he knew he had to do something to stop it, you were just a girl yes you may be 18 but not only are you his student but he's a werewolf and that means that anyone who would ever be in a relationship with him would be cursed with a life of suffering. So he did the only thing he knew he could do, push you away but he kept an eye on you and the more he missed you the more it hurt him to watch you be so okay to the point you didn't show up to his lessons or the bridge anymore. He had his own updated version of the old marauders map which he checked every evening to see if you would go to the bridge at first you did but after a few days you didn't even try and he didn't blame you it was exactly what he knew was right. But his loneliness grew, and he left Hogwarts over the weekend to visit Sirius he nearly told him about you but he was too conflicted this was an issue he had to deal with alone, his method of cutting you out was working the only thing left to figure out is getting you to pass DADA without coming to lessons.
His plan failed when on Sunday evening during his turn to patrol the corridors he heard you and Sebastian taking. Him diminishing your love for muggle books hurt Remus but hearing Sebastian calling you darling made even the wolf inside him jealous so he acted on instinct separating the two of you. Sebastian's words reminded Remus of his own pet name for you and it brought him back to the moment when he had you all hot and bothered, the moment he forgot all responsibilities for a second and allowed himself to feel a glimpse of what it would be like if he was normal man and he wasn't your teacher. Remus longed for that moment, it was all he thought about since. The feeling of your breath on his, your lips so close that he could lean in and kiss you, have you as he's wanted for so long. You weren't just beautiful but you were smart and so strong-willed, he knew your future was a bright one and he was never going to ruin it for you.
But what could he do? How can he push you away when you are so drawn to him, he was aware that you had a crush on him, obviously he wouldn't behave how he did at the three broomsticks if he wasn't sure of it but there had to be rules established soon if you were going to spend any more time together, he knew he should never share smokes on the bridge with you again and never call you dear but there was something inside him that hurt whenever he thought about that never happening again. Remus was a good guy he wasn't going to ruin your last year in Hogwarts by being selfish and longing for extra time to get to know you. You needed to be with people your own age like Sebastian...
"Professor?" Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay you've gone silent for a minute?"
"I'm still trying to process you calling me angsty." He said with a soft smile pained by the truth of what he was thinking about.
"Wait you're a werewolf?" You asked with a fake gasp and he just shook his head at you in amusement. He proceeded to skim over the facts teaching you the basics over the next hour before closing the book and announcing. "It's time to see how your duelling skills are." Lupin motioned for you to stand and moved all the desks to the side of the room for a swish of his hands. "Now it's okay if you need a bit of time to warm up and practice I know we haven't done this in a few weeks." He began.
"I'm good let's go straight away." You interrupted and like that, the duel began. You began strong as his guard was down and then he began hitting back you continued and then you pulled a special spell you learnt in the duelling club as soon as you began to say the word Lupin disarmed you and quickly came and put his hand over your mouth. "You're about to use dark magic Y/N." He stated harshly before letting you go. "Now tell me exactly where you've learnt all this." He said sternly as you bent down to grab your wand, you could tell fun Lupin was gone and your teacher was talking to you.
"While studying I'm sorry I didn't know it was a-"
"Don't lie to me." He repeated, with the voice of disappointment, while looking down on you.
"The duelling club." You said without thinking of what will happen next.
"What duelling club." He was angry, very angry.
"The crossed wands or whatever it's a secret duelling club started by some Slytherin students to see who's the best at duelling in the school." You blurted out.
"Is this Sebastian's doing?"
"He's part of it yes but I've learnt so much, it's helped."
"Yes but also you've learnt dark magic, you're entering a realm of evil, real evil and you think this is just fun and games? You didn't even know did you?" You shook your head in reply to him. "I am reporting this to Dumbledor immediately." He was almost shouting but his voice wasn't any louder than a whisper.
"No don't they're my friends." You protested.
"Y/N you can't be using that kind of magic, not you. Please. You don't understand what this can cause, how evil it is. You are getting involved in dangerous things and they need to be stopped before more innocent students get involved."
"Please don't shut it down I'll be seen as a snitch, it's the first time I've made friends with people outside Gryffindor, let them have this until the end of the year."
"It's dangerous."
"Please moony as a friend." You said using the nickname you used before to try and get his sympathy, he shared his secret you shared yours would he keep yours? You didn't know this was the same nickname his friends used for him. These five words made him calm down and realise how much he values your happiness over what is right or wrong.
"Can you promise me you'll check spells you learnt there with me first before you use them?" He asked gently.
"Always."
"Very well, I'll pretended I didn't hear a word." He said walking over to his desk and picking up his blazer there to search for something in his pocket. He took out a pack of cigarettes and put on his blazer. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a urgent matter, you're welcome to join if you want to steal one." He said showing you the box and opening the classroom door to let you out. You followed him as you walked together in silence it felt like you needed to say something. The air was too thick.
"Can we go to the lake?"
"There won't be light bugs tonight." He said softly.
"I know I just want to go and sit down by the water."
"Let's go." He said changing the route. You walked outside up to the lake sitting down on the water's edge, Lupin lay his blazer down on the floor as a makeshift blanket. You could see the moonlight reflect on the water and everything felt peaceful and quiet for a moment. You saw the spark of Lupin's cigarette, you looked over at him and noticed he was using a lighter instead of magic. You grabbed a cigarette from his pack that was lying on the jacket in the small space between the two of you. You put it in your mouth and Lupin leaned slightly closer to you lighting it for you with his lighter one hand covering the side from the wind and the other on the lighter right next to your lips.  No words were spoken. They didn't need to be you both understood everything perfectly at this moment. After a moment you finally said something.... "Lupin, can we please remain friends."
"We need clear boundaries." He said simply as if he had thought through his answer a million times.
"Yes, okay, I just don't want to spend another week ignoring each other, you really hurt me Lupin." You said being completely honest.
You could hear him swallow as if he's just realised that you were also hurt in the process of him trying to protect you... "I'm really sorry, I was trying to make sure we don't cross a line. I didn't think it would hurt you I thought it was the right thing to do Y/N." He spoke quietly almost a whisper.
"Don't do that again." You said feeling like crying, two weeks of emotions all about to release in this moment. "I felt like I lost someone I was truly connected with, a real friend."
"I know I felt the same, but Y/N we need to set rules we can't get so close to each other."
"Don't call me dear then."
"Okay dear." He said with a little smirk and you playfully pushed him away "shut up Lupin."
"On the same note when it's just us, and we're being just friends maybe just call me Remus. Lupin feels too formal, it makes me remember I'm your teacher."
"Remus. I like that. Now Remus you won't ignore me tomorrow after this conversation?"
"No Y/N, I will not. I acted impulsively, for that I am very sorry and for how I made you feel."
"I didn't like you for a moment when you were ignoring me but you're truly kind and good under all that angst."
"I'm not angsty." He said laughing again. You lay down on the grass and jacket instead of sitting up and watched as Remus sat up watching the water. You felt at peace maybe you will never fulfil your desire to kiss him and feel his lips on yours. Maybe you'll never know what it feels like to have his hands explore your body but at least you knew you could keep him as part of your everyday again and that he did maybe feel slightly attracted to you below all the proper behaviour and all the teacher like nonsense.
"Can I tell you something I've never told anyone?" He asked.
"Are you about to tell me you're angsty?" You replied sitting up to match his position, he smiled in response but didn't laugh this time.
"No, I, I really wish to see a full moon. To see what it looks like reflecting in the water, what the world looks like in its light." You could hear his voice breaking as he tried to keep a straight face. You didn't know what to do, your first reaction was just to hold him. So you hugged him and he hugged you back tightly. Neither of you thought about what was right or wrong you just hugged for a long time making sure he was okay. If you weren't sure already this vulnerability and honestly showed you how he felt about you, he did in fact trust you maybe more than anyone he's ever met before you.
After moments of silence, you both let go of each other and stayed there watching the water reflect the moonlight. Remus checked his watch and at that moment realised how late it's gotten. "Are you hungry?" He asked and you nodded. "Follow me, dinner is over but I can get some food from the kitchen sent to my office." He explained and you both returned to the castle.
As soon as you walked into the classroom it felt like he was back to Professor R.J. Lupin, he opened his office door and let you walk in first. You took in the room as you've never been up here usually speaking to him at his desk in the classroom. His desk here was covered in papers and books, a small plate acted as a ashtray for him laying on top of a pile of books. He immediately began to clean the desk picking up books and putting them back on the shelf he didn't use magic it's almost like he forgot he could. "Please sit down. I'm sorry for the mess I've been very busy recently." He explained you sat down in a nice leather chair behind the desk, it smelled like him, you felt like you almost melted into this chair as soon as you sat down on it. He performed wandless magic to pull up a small wooden chair to the desk and to sit opposite you. "Any preference in what food you'd like?" He asked and you shook your head. "Very well. Would you like any tea?"  He asked standing back up and walking over to a kettle that was already brewing on the side. "Milk and two sugars please." You confirmed.
"I have a terrible habit of putting too much sugar in my tea, it started when I was around your age, I would put heaps of sugar in my tea because my condition made me so tired and I thought it would help give me energy. It did not. But it did help develop my sweet tooth." He said as he walked over with the teas at this moment the food magically appeared on the table, it was a platter of different nibbles from cheese to grapes and crackers. The two of you dug in while a vinyl record played in the background and your tea cooled to a drinking temperature. At first, you were so hungry that not many words were said but it didn't take long for the two of you to start talking and discussing different things you talked about, the main topic was muggle world vs wizarding world. You learned a lot about Remus's mother and his childhood in the muggle world. You must've sat and talked for at least two hours as by the time the food was only crumbs and your cups were completely empty you had a blanket wrapped around you for warmth and your eyes were struggling to stay open. When Remus realised the time was past midnight he kept apologising for keeping you awake and you kept telling him it was okay. Professor Lupin felt guilty for keeping you awake on a school night, and Remus felt sad you were about to leave. He walked you to your dorm so you wouldn't get in trouble in case a teacher saw you in the corridors, you thanked him for all the food and tea and then you said goodnight.
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