ava-avalon-blog

[ava-avalon-blog]

Finally you realize my worth.

#SABRnoah

[ava-avalon-blog]

I hacked into Larry's email and forwarded his colonoscopy results to everyone in the office.

#sabr starter

[ava-avalon-blog]

#ava

[ava-avalon-blog]

If you in fact are not into psychology then why are you trying to psycho analyze me? I don't think I'm vital to society, I know I am. I will most likely own you one day, so I suggest you watch your tone. I feel as empowered by the internet as I'm sure you do for the flimsy piece of paper that you're currently swimming in debt for.

Don't place yourself on my stoop, you couldn't even reach it. Secondly, I have to qualms about living in the real world. I'm at work amusing myself rather than answering phone calls. Please do continue prattling on about your theories though.

Elijah & Ava

I take it this place filled you with all those megalomaniac ideas, it probably inflated your ego since nothing else outside in the real world did. How does it feel, to be empowered?

I’m just as good as you, that’s why we’re here, having this discussion, on the internet, because we’re perfectly incapable of dealing with our lives in person. 

#SABRelijah

[ava-avalon-blog]

You're already terribly interested in me, it's a side effect of meeting me. It wasn't a compliment, asshat. You clearly not very good at social cues, thankfully you're not a communications aficionado either.

Elijah & Ava

That’s cute, thank god I didn’t go for clinic psychology or I’d be terribly interested in you as a case study. Thanks for the compliment, everyone tells me I’m a baby face, I hope I remain looking this young until I’m 60, helps with the ladies

#SABRelijah #SORRY FOR AVA

[ava-avalon-blog]

A mixture of daddy issues and hope that I'd find someone irritating enough to sacrifice in the name of Satan. Can you really consider the hookups from this site relationships? They last not even the better part of an afternoon. What do you even know about relationships, what are you 12?

Elijah & Ava

I didn’t expect it to be eharmony, all the failed relationships I deal with come from this site, I needed to find out. What brought you here?

#SABRelijah

[ava-avalon-blog]

This isn't Eharmony, you don't need to lie about your intentions.

Elijah & Ava

A couple I’m treating told me about this site, I joined for research purposes… Who am I lying to? This seems interesting… 

#SABRelijah

[ava-avalon-blog]

Just as well, I'd rather not have the nightmares.

Be honest, would you even notice if I took anything? You've got an entire fucking Macy's in here. Is that booty-licious pool boy ever off the clock? His dedication to you is seriously creepy.

As if I would know what her name was. I just told some girl you invited me over and told me to let her have the night off. Seemed eager to get out of there too. Did you forget to feed your pets?

Ava & Sylvia

#SABRsylvia

[ava-avalon-blog]

Skeletor is not my replacement.

That's only because I can't sexually satisfy you like AIDS statistics clearly can. Well praise God that nobody will have to see your disfigurement. Fine, but if you're bringing that hairball, I'm bringing Sylvia Jr. You're carrying her, you know that little bitch is precious cargo so don't fuck up.

Ryan and Ava

I’d have Sylvia. 

Because you jumped onto my back mid-sentence and you know very well that I can’t do anything to you.

I would say I value you more than my career, but that would be a straight up lie. I can make exceptions though, and this is one of them, mostly because we were lucky and I’m not due to be on air until November. 

#SABRryan

[ava-avalon-blog]

Thank you!

…. You are fucked up.

#sabrmalu

[ava-avalon-blog]

Simba isn't here, go home.

So, I’m new here and thought that maybe it would be a good idea if I introduced myself. I’m Nala! 

[ava-avalon-blog]

Cry about it. Or bring me alcohol and I'll allow you to drown yourself in it while you keep me company during my ID network marathon.

Sometimes when it’s a rough day at work I have to go and sit in my car on my break to make sure I get a breather.

[ava-avalon-blog]

That looks like the least fun party ever.

Ran into these fancy prancy bitches at a fundraiser.

[ava-avalon-blog]

Aren't you big enough to overpower some girl without feeding her roofies?

Okay, insanely drunk college girl… putting you in a cab

#sabrmalu

[ava-avalon-blog]

We can't all be model citizens, Goodwin. Imagine how utterly dull your life would be without Satan. You should just leave it, maybe they'll force you to do a self-defense segment because you oh so clearly got your ass handed to you by a girl almost half your age. 

I nearly ruined your money-maker and you want to go out again? You're a glutton for pain, Goodwin.

Ryan and Ava

A grizzly bear wouldn’t have punched me in the face. They’re better than that, unlike you. I’ll ice it and the swelling should go down before my next meeting. 

Next time we should bring Cooper with us. 

#SABRryan

[ava-avalon-blog]

I like to think it's a product of radiation poisoning because this bitch is clearly a Chernobyl survivor.

Ava & Kai

#SABRkailani #be careful ava will buy you a cat

[ava-avalon-blog]

Can't argue that logic. Tequila is the bitch's best friend.

Clearly I found out that little tid bit when I put it on. I'm both disgusted and intrigued that you own fishnets. I must now search the rest of your wardrobe. Don't worry, while you're away Pablo panics and in his Spanish hysterics I'm assuming he's begging me not to touch your things. At least someone respects you, I'm going to guess it's because you pay him to though.

Ava & Sylvia

#SABRsylvia