ayoitsnic

[ayoitsnic]

Y/N: Lucifer won’t come out of his room!

Gabriel: Just tell him I said something.

Y/N: Like what?

Gabriel: Anything factually incorrect.

Y/N, shrugging: If you say so.

Lucifer, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

[ayoitsnic]

Accidental Summons

Pairing: Castiel x Reader ft. (platonic) Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Warnings: Some language.

Summary: In a brief moment of weakness, you summon the angel to the bunker.

Dean was sitting at the table with a large slice of cherry pie topped with a generous serving of whipped cream. There was a chair opposite him, slightly askew – which you assumed to belong to Sam. There were several books splayed out on the table and, in the middle of the mess, sat Sam’s laptop.

Dean looked up from his pie and swallowed the sweet pastry when he saw you walk in, wrapped in your blanket like a burrito.

“Sam broke the heating system.” He explained. There was a loud clang and the sound of the tall moose hitting his head on something hard.

“Damn it!” Sam’s voice echoed from the electrical grid room. You wanted to laugh but your chattering teeth prevented you from doing so.

How on Earth was Dean sitting so calmly and eating pie in this temperature?

Keep reading

[ayoitsnic]

Sharing cause this is important.

[ayoitsnic]

Could you please write a one shot where severus has some information to deliver to the order and reader is there to get it but he’s followed so they tell him to kiss them and make it seem like they’re together

I wanna kiss Snape (real)

Genre: fluff/mild angst

Warnings: Brief mentions of Sev's anxiety

Link to masterlist

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Snape left Malfoy Manor with a pounding heart and trembling hands, his chest feeling tight as he made his way through the large iron gates.

He had just received some very disturbing information from Voldemort and who he was planning to kill next, which happened to be members of the Order.

Snape being a spy against Voldemort has been one of the most challenging things he's ever experienced. He arrived at every Death Eater meaning already on edge, and left in an even worse mental state that he had been in when he arrived.

However, Snape couldn't openly display these feelings of panic and discomfort; he had to control his emotions and wear a blank expression for the entirety of the Death Eater meeting. It was especially difficult when he had to sit there and watch a friend die, and he couldn't even move a muscle, just sit and watch the horrors before him.

Of course, Voldemort didn't have the faintest clue that Snape was no longer loyal to him and hadn't been for a very long time. Snape was an expert at deceiving Voldemort, yet the role always had his anxiety running high.

As Snape prepared to Apparate to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, he thought of you and how Voldemort specifically mentioned planning to kill you, all because you were Muggle born.

You were in charge of receiving all of the information for the Order and you knew all about the dangerous role Snape played; you greatly appreciated Snape for being so brave for the Order and the greater good, but you also worried endlessly about him and his safety.

Snape was just about to Apparate when he heard the bushes rustle behind him. He spun around, quickly taking his wand out and muttering, "Lumos." He pointed his now lit wand at the bushes, seeing nothing.

Had it been an animal, lurking around for a meal? The way Snape's hair stood on the back of his neck convinced him otherwise and he suddenly became hyperaware of his surroundings, slowly turning to look in every direction.

Not wanting to waste more time, he Apparated right across the street from Number 12 Grimmauld Place, still feeling uneasy.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard footsteps behind him, turning to see no one. Trusting his gut feeling, he rushed across the street, definitely convinced that he was being followed now.

It was true that Bellatrix, one of Voldemort's most loyal followers, was highly suspicious of Snape and his loyalty to Voldemort. He wouldn't be surprised if her and some of the Death Eaters were behind him right now, but he didn't dare look back.

As the building began to open up for him, you Apparated next to him, pulling your coat around your frame and shivering in the late night.

"How'd it go?" you asked Snape through chattering teeth. Snape barely glanced at you, too focused on staring at the street across from him.

"Severus?" you asked, and Snape cast you a worried look, mouthing to you that he was being followed.

The street was completely empty and you frowned; you knew that Snape could be very paranoid sometimes.

"I swear I keep hearing someone behind me," he quietly told you, tightening his grip around his wand. He then turned to glare at the building. "Can this bloody building take any slower?"

You lit your wand and nearly dropped it when you heard nearby voices down the street, looking over at Snape with your mouth hanging open in shock.

"Kiss me," you blurted, to which Snape incredulously replied, "Why the hell would I want to do that for?"

"Just do it!" you hissed at him, hearing the voices get closer. "So they think we're together!"

You didn't give Snape a chance to reply before you pulled him towards you by the collar of his coat, kissing him fervently.

Snape made a noise of surprise and tried to push you away, but you kept your grip on him firm, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Besides yours and his safety, you also kissed him because you had a bit of a thing for Snape (yet 'a bit' was a massive understatement as he was all you could think about at this point).

The building finally allowed entrance and you dragged Snape inside, your lips parting from his for a few seconds so you could quickly cast security charms on the door.

"What are you do-" Snape tried to say but you cut him off with another kiss, this one lasting longer than the last.

You distinctly heard the rushing sounds of anti-security charms trying to penetrate the charms you had set in place, knowing then that Snape had indeed been followed.

Snape didn't move his lips at all, just standing there stiffly as you graced his lips with yours. He was, however, blushing so deeply that his face practically matched your maroon robes.

You pulled away just enough to whisper, "Doing what I've always wanted to do." You gazed up at him with a timid yet happy smile, nervously fiddling with your hands.

Snape blinked rapidly at you several times, slowly raising a hand to feel where your lips had been just moments ago. He had taken great notice to the fact that your lips were very soft and you tasted faintly of peaches, and how his stomach gave a sharp yet pleasant jolt when you grabbed the collar of his coat and pressed your lips to his.

"Has Severus come back yet?" Remus Lupin's voice drifted down the hallway, forcing you and Snape to stop staring at each other like suddenly lovesick fools.

"Oh, there you are," he said, looking at Snape and raising his eyebrows at him. "It looks like you have a fever."

"I do not!" Snape snapped at Lupin, brushing past him with obvious annoyance. You gave Lupin a sheepish smile and slipped past him, catching Snape's eye from across the room and breaking into a grin.

"Alright, what're the updates for tonight, Severus?' you calmly asked Snape, getting back to business.

Snape gaped at you and then tried to speak, but no noise came out. He then inhaled sharply and slowly sank into the nearest chair, looking throughly dazed.

"What's the matter with him?" Nymphadora Tonks asked from your left as the Weasley twins chuckled at the sight of Snape, who now had his fingers to his lips as he blankly stared up at you.

"Well, he just got kissed for the first time in his life, so he's in a state of shock right now," you tried to say as seriously as possible, but your voice broke with laughter.

"Shall we deem him incapable to give us any information, then?" Sirius Black snorted from across the table.

You glared at him and then snapped, "Severus is perfectly capable of giving us information, Sirius." You then turned your attention to Snape and gently asked him, "Are you okay?"

Snape's eyes widened upon being addressed by you and he slowly nodded, shakily replying, "Perfectly okay."

You smiled kindly at him and bent down to kiss the top of his head, which caused Snape to let out a squeaky gasp.

"He's okay," you said to the others in the room, who were staring, aghast, at you and Snape.

You returned to your seat with a satisfied smirk, happy that you had been able to surprise Snape with something other than bad news from the Order.

[ayoitsnic]

them: you don’t watch game of thrones?? really? how come?

me: 

[ayoitsnic]

Amazon Primes adaptation of 'Good Omens' by Neil Gamen and Terry Pratchett.

Indulge me, friends, because I’m curious. What’s the first piece of queer fiction* you ever consumed? Mine was Mistress of Dragons, a lesbian fantasy novel I definitely should not have read at age 10 that I checked out of the library because it had a dragon on the cover

*by this I mean it has canonically (in text, not word of god) queer characters (who aren’t a walking gay best friend stereotype) who impact the plot, NOT just subtext or characters with less than a handful of lines

[ayoitsnic]

I feel attacked

[ayoitsnic]

Misha coming out as straight is doing wonders for the spnblr economy

[ayoitsnic]

@justaguytrynagetbi

I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.

[ayoitsnic]

[ayoitsnic]

Bruno: "I'm sorry Pepa, it was a vision!! Please don't hurt me!!"

Pepa: "YOU kicked me!!!"

Bruno: "Ah but alas, I cannot change the future"

[ayoitsnic]

The real writer experience is standing in the shower and coming up with the most authentic dialogue with perfect phrasing and raw emotion in your head, then stepping out and drying your hair, putting on some clean pajamas and opening a word document to write down all your perfect ideas only to realize everything has evaporated. 

[ayoitsnic]

[ayoitsnic]

Ugh he reminds me of my Hamilton. I miss him constantly ❤😭

in case ur having a bad day, here’s a dumbo rat

[ayoitsnic]

Omg you found his bucket

Today I finally finished my Bruno’s plushie, it was the most challenging one till now especially the ruana but I’m so happy with the result that every struggle I had was absolutely worth it :3

I just felt the need to sew a tiny Bruno since I love him so much, and Encanto is definitely in my top 3 Disney’s movie ever

Bonus:

[ayoitsnic]

Omg PlEaSe make him a little bucket for 'Jorge'

Today I finally finished my Bruno’s plushie, it was the most challenging one till now especially the ruana but I’m so happy with the result that every struggle I had was absolutely worth it :3

I just felt the need to sew a tiny Bruno since I love him so much, and Encanto is definitely in my top 3 Disney’s movie ever

Bonus:

[ayoitsnic]