az-cain

[az-cain]

this duo in coanda effect tho 🫢 bi panic intensifies 🫣

yukiiiiiiii 😩🏎️💨

[az-cain]

THANK YOU 😭 I haven’t been on here in an age and this made me so happy 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

self care hcs

moon system x reader ≈ 1.1k words masterlist here

the beard is the gif below 😗

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shaving

sometimes the boys get busy and they’ll forget to shave, or sometimes they just don’t have a razor

jake really really wants to grow it out into a full beard

steven likes the clean-shaven look or a little bit of stubble, but is fine with whatever

marc wants a full beard. badly.

when they go on long trips, jake and marc get their wish. they get a nice beard.

one time, they come home after a long trip and you decide that you really like their beard

it’s a little scratchy while it’s growing out, but feels nice when they kiss you

plus, they look really good with it

from then on, they usually let it grow to about that length

whenever marc is fronting, he likes to trim it with the fancy little shears you’d gotten him a little while ago

you got them when you noticed him trimming his beard with steven’s craft scissors and that would not do

so you bought him some and gave them to him, showing him how to fit him fingers into the small holes and rest his pinky over the ring

you helped him get straight cuts by holding the hair between two fingers and overlapping each piece he cut with the next to get it even

hair cutting

you also cut their hair for them most of the time

it was about a monthly occurrence, their latino genes making their hair grow wayyyy faster than most people’s

marc didn’t really trust people other than you and himself with sharp objects next to his head, too many bad experiences in the marines

the first few times with the new shears you missed a few spots, but found them within a day while you were playing with their hair

you went “oh crap” and tugged them back to the bathroom to fix the mistakes

they didn’t care much, as long as marc felt that he looked tidy enough to take himself seriously

marc wanted really short hair, a high and tight like he had as a marine

jake wanted to grow his hair out, long enough to pull back into a little man-bun or pony tail, with an undercut underneath

steven liked their haircut, and he got to make that call a) because it was an in-between from jakes’s and marc’s wishes and b) because he was the one who had a normal 9-5 job with the most human interaction

jake liked to front when you were cutting their hair, the feeling of your fingers and comb soothing him in a way most other things couldn’t (for once, he felt protected)

you eventually got really good at cutting their hair, perfecting the fade from long to short. they were so happy with it every time and it made you super happy

showering

they all love showering with you, obviously

marc takes super short showers, ever the military man (5-10 mins)

jake takes long, burning hot showers, and sometimes even baths (30-45 mins)

steven takes hot showers and often forgets he’s in there (like hour-long showers)

they all have different soaps, which can get a little pricey, but you’re all fairly well off so it’s okay

marc has vanilla bar soap for his body and scentless nivea men’s shampoo and conditioner

he’s the most likely to buy 3-in-1 in a pinch or while on a mission

jake has orange and sandalwood scented shampoo, conditioner, and body wash

he also has a long-ass facial routine every night before bed, and you’ll often stand beside him and do your own: neutrogena salicylic acid facial cleanser, sephora toner, a serum that’s way too expensive, eye cream because he never sleeps, and a neutrogena hydro-boost moisturizer

he won’t let you touch his face for 10 minutes after his routine is done, no exceptions unless you’re crying

steven uses everist vegan shampoo and conditioner that comes in nice little waste-free aluminum tubes (except the cap, which he diligently returns to the company), and uses a nice bar of vanilla body wash from a local market

water. literally just water.

steven is the most likely to stay hydrated with a conscious effort all the time, but jake is just always thirsty

you got each of them a nice 30 oz bottle: navy blue for marc, sunflower yellow for steven, and burgundy for jake

steven’s is absolutely covered in stickers and dents, and he fills it up and drinks it 3 times a day at work

marc’s has very few dents, meticulous as he is. he’s pretty forgetful, but does his best to remember it and when he does, he gets through the bottle

jake’s is barely a cylinder anymore. it’s also not recognizable as red. everywhere he goes, he gets a sticker. everywhere. if he sees one while he’s on a mission, he’ll grab it and stick it in his bag to put on later that night. he has to fill it 10-11 times/day on missions, 4-5 if he’s not being too active

working out

jake fronts to run three miles every morning and does strength training at least 5 times per week. usually it’s early in the morning, he never sleeps more than 10 hours, and that’s only after hard missions. otherwise it’s a max of 8 hours. very unhinged.

marc likes to do cardio at night, especially if he’s stressed, which is 7 times out of 10

steven doesn’t work out. like ever. not even when he’s upset.

overall the body gets in 3-6 miles per day, and about 3 hours of strength training per day minimum

they’re strong as fuck

eating habits

jake, as the protector, knows how to cook

he also really enjoys it, cooking for you and himself at night or waking you up with a nice breakfast after he’s gotten back from the gym and showered

steven likes to eat, but oftentimes forgets, especially if he has his nose buried in a book

you’ve taken to leaving snacks on his desk— apples, pears, bits of the dark chocolate you know he likes— and packing him a lunch every day before work. you try to get him in a little of every food group: some yogurt, pinwheels, and more chocolate is his favorite meal you pack him

marc forgets all the time. every time he fronts, especially around a meal time, you grab him something good to eat. if he fronts for long periods of time, you’ll pack him full meals that will last with or without cooling. you always throw some beef jerky into his bag, too.

masterlist here

[az-cain]

[az-cain]

[az-cain]

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

[az-cain]

[az-cain]

Consider:

You died with a remarkable fortune and no heirs. You grant your wealth to two rivalling schools in the same city, under one condition: One of them must always keep your preserved skull. They may keep it on display (therefore attracting interest and potentially fame to the school) but that always raises the risk of students of the other school stealing it. The students and staff of the other school have not only the right, but the duty to do so at any opportunity. Nobody can be arrested for this unless they're caught breaking some other law.

Ideally, the students of the two schools keep stealing your skull, back and forth, forever. The culture of both of the schools is enriched by this activity, the students are too busy engaged in these harmless shenanigans to drift into worse habits and behaviours, and you get to be included in countless nonsensically frivolous heist operations whose sole purpose is to bring more fun into the world.

[az-cain]

taking off a mask to reveal what lies beneath as a romantic gesture is overdone, and besides i want to see the romantic or even platonic potential of protecting someone's identity beneath the mask, without any expectation of ever being allowed to see what's under it. picking it up and holding it gently to their face when it's knocked off and they're in danger of being exposed, without trying to catch a glimpse of what they "really" look like under there. throwing yourself in front of them to hide them from view while they put themselves back together without taking advantage or looking back to see what you're protecting. learning to read them by body language, tone of voice, and behaviour so well that you never need to see their face to feel like you know and understand them.

[az-cain]

when i was younger i used to think the choice of a trumpet as the instrument to herald the apocalypse was bizarre. like really? the tumpet? bwaaa? but then i heard a hunting horn while out on a walk and understood just how hair-raisingly eerie a lone trumpet could sound carried on the wind.

[az-cain]

so funny how people on this website are like "how is celibacy sweeping in this poll you guys are all virgin losers. casual sex is awesome you should fuck your friends" until the person having casual sex and fucking their friends is aro. then they start pissing and shitting themselves.

#LMAO me #the first example HAS HAPPENED

[az-cain]

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[az-cain]

You’re so right (I have no idea who this character is but if she’d been exposed to any kind of media at all)

rhys's shitty ass character arc could've been avoided if sjm had watched code geass. epitome of a morally gray character lelouch lamperouge you will always be famous to me

[az-cain]

Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this

Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion ☝️🤓

[az-cain]

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

[az-cain]

Good news, fellow artists! Nightshade has finally been released by the UChicago team! If you aren't aware of what Nightshade is, it's a tool that helps poison AI datasets so that the model "sees" something different from what an image actually depicts. It's the same team that released Glaze, which helps protect art against style mimicry (aka those finetuned models that try to rip off a specific artist). As they show in their paper, even a hundred poisoned concepts make a huge difference.

(Reminder that glazing your art is more important than nighshading it, as they mention in their tweets above, so when you're uploading your art, try to glaze it at the very least.)

[az-cain]