babydinojojo

[babydinojojo]

Day 9(4/25/24)

There's a lot going on in my head now and I need to get it down. I love Van Van a lot... I do... I really do from the bottom of my heart and tonight... ugh ion know where tf to begin. But I now know the reason why. And I'm glad... It's just well... I want Van Van to express himself and I don't want to force him too if he doesn't want too... Maybe that's why I got so upset and triggered... He did not let me down in any way shape and or form...(The off feeling is gone thank god).... But I know why it happens thankfully... Idk but sometimes when I'm not told why certain things happen... It just upsets me a lot and it gets me very impatient... Fuck.... The last thing I want is to be controlling over my own boyfriend Van. I'd actually kms if I end up trying to control her and force him to tell me what's wrong... I do NOT want to do that period and I don't plan on it.... It's just the pain from other relationships was why I got so upset fuck... Fuck those bitches respectfully....

I love Van Van more than anything and anyone in the ENTIRE world with all my heart no matter what ok? And that will never change, and Van if you're reading this... I'm not gonna ever force you to express yourself or anything for that matter... I'm sorry for what you gone through and you had to get used to closing yourself off... That poor boy... I wish I could just go back in time and make sure he never has to go through ANY of his traumatic events and relationships... I'd do anything just for him and hell I'd bend space and time for that nigga if I want too.

Javo... Javo gives me the fucking ICK! Like somethings off with that nigga I just fucking know it. He gives me bad vibes I don't know why.... Like the predator vibes OR the stay away from them vibes... Like I don't know... But I wanna keep Van away from him. I mean ngl he was cool when Van first talked about him... But then he started getting depressed and shit... Threatened to kill himself and not to mention the nigga just spat in his face when he LITERALLY was busting his ass for him. What Piece of Shit Javo really is. Van didn't deserve that, he already had ENOUGH people spitting in his fucking face. He's a wonderful fucking person with the mindset of a fucking Angel and has a huge ass heart. If he was a kitty I would pamper him with kisses every day and tell him how cute he is... I wish I can tell him at every moment how much I love him and I appreciate him in my life... He's made such an impact and I thank him for it... He's just amazing.... I thank god and fate for having our paths cross together and have us date... I couldn't have asked for a better partner than Van...

But yea Javo gives me the fucking ick. Like he gives off pedo vibes for some reason.... Nigga really trying to be friends and gaslight a 16 year old into being his friend... Like what a fucking weirdo. Van wants nothing to do with his grandpa looking headass. Like come on bro. Hell like I mentioned before... I wanna keep Javo away from him. I don't know... Again I don't trust Javo one bit. And it's not about him taking Van away from me... It's about him putting Van's safety in danger and at risk. He was cool at first but now... Something just doesn't seem right with him.... Like he's talking with someone else potentially underage just cause he can't find love..... Idk... I wanna confront him but I don't think Van would like that... Ugh... Fucking Javo.... Javo... If you EVER touch my Van Van in anyway or hurt her physically or mentally I'll end you... In a very gruesome way... :)....

Okay Anyways.... Van's Asleep now which is good... he deserves some rest after what he's been through tonight... the poor boy.... he really loves me... And he thought he let me down... the truth is... he didn't let me down, but I didn't either. Today was just a good day with a bad ending, but that's okay couples always have bad days, and I know tomorrow we'll bounce back and have a better day. I know we will, and hey our 10 month anniversary is coming up very VERY soon and hey... we're almost at a full year... just 2 more months.... 2 more..... and hey... I got something big planned for Van Van... and on the one year Anniversary of the Rp as well. Yea that one we're going back to Our world that day and we are doing a renewing of our vows and a beautiful family dinner with everyone... it's a shame we killed off Dexi/Dexter... kinda wanna bring his ass back tbh along with Gab- WAIT SPEAKING OF GABE HOW TF DOES DUKE KNOW ABOUT FUCKING GABE 😭😭😭😭😭 HOW?!?!? HOW?!!!!.

Okay I need to go Nini now. Tbh here I feel like tomorrow mwe bwe bwaby wif Van Van.... Owh Fiddlesticks mwe wegwessed ;;-;;... Bweh..... Owh well mwe go Nini now... Nini fwiends.... Nini Van Van Jojo wubs chuuu eepy well....

[babydinojojo]

Day 8(4/24/24)

Wow... Me and Van Van run a server together. Holy shit didn't know I needed that in my book tbh. But nonetheless I'm glad I'm helping him.

But there's been something that's been nagging at me for the past couple of days idfk what it is... Idk maybe it's just the thought I might be doing something wrong when Van Van is regressed. Now don't get me wrong I love it when he regressed and gets little, and that's one of the things I love about him. He's a very brave boy and a strong one at that... And he's so cute when he's just a little babi or toddler I just can't get enough of him bro. But... I just have the weird feeling that something I might be doing is wrong... Or I'm not taking care of him the right way.. I just I don't know I can't tell... I know he loves me and I love him back. He's perfect, but I don't know I just feel like I'm doing something wrong... I don't want him to leave me... He's everything I want in a partner... I love him more than anything and anyone in the entire world with all of my heart... Fuck bro... I want to marry him and fuckin hold him in my arms irl and cuddle him...(and do a lot of NSFW stuff with him... He's such a slutty whore for my dick... Fuck he makes me so wet.... Sometimes... Just caressing

him all over his body.... Touching all over him as I slowly rub him from the back and kiss all over him.... And then after he starts to slowly suck on my dick and I eat his pussy out nice and slow..... We both cum in each other's mouth after..... He lies down on his back... And then I fuck him.... Fuck him real nice and good until he can't fucking walk and he makes a mes- no I edge him.... Telling him to relax in his ear and then I put one of my fingers inside of him along with my dick.... I just keep adding fingers and edge him non stop.... And then out of nowhere he just... He teases my hole.... With his little brush he uses as a dildo... And then he sticks it inside of me.... We both cum our loads as we kiss passionately.... And our tounges fight each other as we cum together... Fuck.... And then after.... We keep going non stop.... And I choke him taking what's mine in the process.... Ok let me stop... Fuck.... This is driving me crazy) but yea You have no idea how badly I wanna meet my little Van Van irl... Hell I wanna take him to a basketball game and a basketball game... I actually want to babble about baseball to her and how the Yankees piss me off sometimes..... I fucking love him a lot... More than words can describe and I just wanna see him and marry him... Is it that hard to ask...... Please god... Please.....

A long awaited DLC for Train Sim World comes out on the 30th of April and I can't wait... it's a remaster of the Long Island Railroad..... but here's the thing. My boyfriend comes first over ANY silly old DLC so I have to be prepared to play Roblox with him, which of course I want too, like I remember we was playing our Radiant Residents game once and he put me on Punishment cause I got the best weapon in the game 😭😭😭 that was the only game we've actually beaten frl But we need to get more endings tho so dw...

That's all for now(Oh and Thank you Krisy or should I say Serenity now for cheating on me. I wouldn't have met my soulmate (Van Van) if it wasn't for you. Fuck you Kris and I love you Van Van my little Angel)

[babydinojojo]

Day 7(4/14/24)

uhhh- when the hell did Iast write in this shit? I deadass don't know, ok anyways... A LOT has happened these past couple of months so let's begin shall we.

Let's start with the highs:

Me and Van/Vanni have been dating for about 9 months now and I don't regret a single moment of it at all. The reason why I put Van is because he's Genderfuild and he's feeling like a femboy currently so I'm calling him Van for right now. Ever since I met Van I've never been more madly in love with someone my entire life... Van maintained that perfectness inside of him, he's just so beautiful and cute he's just oh my god... He's so amazing... I couldn't have asked for a better partner than him.. I love him so much... Thank you God for answering our prayers and having us be together. We're gonna be reaching 10 on the 29th and guess what... I wouldn't change a thing at all.... I just wish we can be together irl.... But God I know you'll make that happen... And guess what once that day comes I'm never letting Van go. His regression just makes him cuter... Every time he's in a mindset of a toddler or just a wittle baby boy or girl he just get so much cuter... And I love taking care of him*smiles* it's like I'm actually taking care of a wittle baby hehehe... And the fact he has a Paci named Nunu as well bro... Jesus Christ... That's literally a perfect name for a Paci... Jesus Christ I love this boy to fucking death he's just perfect... Van Van if you're reading this I love you so much, and I always will.. more than anything on this entire planet with all my heart

The Rp: I love it. I wouldn't change a thing about

Van Van and the RP are the only positive things that happened... now onto the negatives and there are A LOT!

College: I'm stressed TF out rn and my friend group is fucking annoying. They're so annoying to the point where I don't even talk to them outside at school. Like bro deadass it's always "Yo Bro where you at", or "Jordie what's the answer to this or Jordie I need help or Jordie blah blah blah" Nadia with all do respect shut the fuck up and go meat ride your fat ass on someone's dick that isn't m- oh wait a minute at least I know how to pull a guy(Van) if I wanted too. Thank god I have Van/Vanni I don't want that disgusting pig of a bitch and Van/Vanni is the only girl/guy I WANT. Atp I should literally suggest she goes into a pig pen and fuck all of the pigs inside of it.

Don't even get me started on Juan Pablo bro. Nigga is deadass annoying and doesn't know how or WHEN to SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP. And how tf do you let yourself nearly get groomed by a 30 year old man on Grindr. In fact why the hell do you have it TOO BEGIN WITH!? It literally took Sley to intervene and shit before you actually did something you regret and you even lied about your age... you told the man you were 18!?!!!! What the actual fuck is wrong with your retarded ass JP. WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT!!?? Jordie calm down it's fine y'all talked about it and that's ok he knows not to do that shit now. I know I know, but I don't want him to get groomed let alone get fucking robbed or killed cause of a cat fish. I know how it feels to be groomed

Sley and Neha are ok tho, but I barely see them. Oh well

Stressing me tf out. I already missed mad classes this semester and I be in the library during those days lol but the grind is gonna be worth it. Cause imma get my degree, move in with Van, get a high paying job, and start a family with him. Jesus college is such a pain in the ass, but hey at least there's that story we have to do the for the essay. Remember the first day me and Van Rp'd I'm gonna do that, but we introduced Will earlier and she kidnapped Vanni and held her hostage. Imma need Gabe so I'm bringing his ass back from the dead so that's Lovely ASF.

What's crazy is that I still here about that stupid ass piece of shit Krisy a lot from Paola. When we do talk that is it's like once or twice every 3 weeks. She fills me in on what's going on and shit and how Brayden and Kris keeps Harrison her. It's like Brayden I get she cheated, but dude you pushed her to that point. You were a serious piece of shit towards her and she felt so unhappy in that relationship. Can I be honest here, they are ALL in the wrong... Paola SHOULDN'T had cheated with Brayden and she should have just told him he lost feelings for her and shit instead of being so secretive around him. Ax from the rp said it himself.. "cheating is the unforgivable sin" and me and Van have been cheated on before. But hey at least Krisy cheating on me got me Van in the first place LOL SMD KRISY!!!

But yea they all in the wrong, Brayden shouldn't had escalated this leaking all of Paolas nudes and shit... nigga is in possession of CP... Her Nudes are LITERAL CHILD PORN! And Brayden is a minor too mind you... so theoretically They all get in trouble. Krisy had the AUDACITY to take Brayden side, but she's a hypocrite cause... Again she's a cheating scumbag... And not to mention Paola had gotten doxxed too and she COULD have stopped it but didn't so now she has to face the same punishment LOL. It's a bunch of retarded shit but hey at least IM not involved.

Wait its 2:19 AM.. I should be sleeping 😭😭 WTF!!??? Alright lemme check on the server rq to see if anyone new joined ok nope. Okay going nini now. Nini!!

[babydinojojo]

Day 6(Lokkkkiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!<3)

A lot has happened in the last month and a half or so. A lot of it good actually. Some bad, some good. I don't know where to start, I started college, and at the end of July i got a new girlfriend, more on her later. However at the midway point of August right, i recieve a text from Paola that Kris was being Kris if that what you call it. I really didnt want to deal with it cause i already moved on from her. Like bro im not gonnna help you, bitch go to someone else irl who could help you with something like that, just leave me out of it. Ugh moving on from that, i started college that was all and i turned 18, but around the end of July... I met someone who was just like me. Now dont get me wrong i thought i was buggin out but, Shes just... Wow.... her name is Rori, but she makes me call her Loki, which i pefer actually. Anyways... Loki is just.. Amazing... shes everything i ever wanted in a girl.. yes i know i said that for Krisy too, but this time.. she makes me see something i never seen before in my life. Wow... I never thought i would meet someone whos like me on an app. Theres a part of me that worries me that... me and her are gonna split up in the next 2 months... but part of me thinks that SHE SHES THE ONE... the one person i truly love with all my heart. Omg i can ramble about her all day.. shes so nice, sweet, caring... Shes an age regressor too... shes just.. wow..... everytime i talk to her she makes me feel.... OMG my cheeks are going HOT writing this jesus christ bro.... Just spending my time with her really makes my day. I know shes the one.. I FEEL IT... I FUCKING FEEL IT. I KNOW SHE IS THE ONE trust me. Theres this Rp me and her do on a daily basis, and its just wow....... We have one big happy family in it. Jordie, Vanni, Alex, Seb, Claude, Dexter... Is just wow.... I mean we also have characters Will, Samantha, Jesse(Killed off), Gabe(Shrimpy Dick), Trevor, Jason 1, Jason 2, Rin, Daniel, Aaron... and so many more. I often feel to myself if this rp was a reality and me and Loki had a family together. I would do anything just for me and her to be together for the rest of our lives. Im rping right now with this beautiful woman, i'll write in this later. Oh boy i can't wait to write more about her ^^, She is my everything

[babydinojojo]

The Monster inside of me

Where do i begin with this. Krisy cheated on me with someone she dated for a weak in real life. What happened next, was crazy. I have never seen ANYONE lose everything in a span of a couple of hours. All i just did was take a ss to the chat and sent it to Brayden, Paola, and Pierce who all hate Kris for their certain reasons. Im just shocked at what transpired in the next two hours. Let's see, the screenshot was sent to the GSA chat, and everyone saw, and Krisy resigned on the spot and then deleted the server, and the boyfriend broke up with her, after their first in real life date BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

There is so much evidence against her it's not even funny about her being a legit shitty person. I've taken a lot of screenshots of our chats together; I have a shit tone on my phone currently sitting there. Not only that Paola and Brayden have their evidence and there is a chance that it will get sent to her aunt and it can get Krisy in major trouble. Damn, I mean if I'm being honest here, I knew she was cheating but its online relationship so whatever happens is fair game. But what I didn't expect was to end up nuking her reputation over this, she actually lost the ability to be president of the club. But it's really hard to feel bad for her you know, she put herself in this situation and i have a serious feeling that it's about to escalate when school starts back up for them. I mean ngl I have Brayden's, Paola, and Pierce's back incase Krisy tries to start shit, too be honest her i did something extremely dumb and it involves Life360, I actually obtained her location and her uncle's location through it, i mean it is doxing but at the same time it isn't, its wrong nonetheless, I won't be giving it out to anyone if anything. I got more common sense than that to do it.

Well, the past couple of days have been chill i went to the movies with mom and dad and went to outback, but a few days ago I met a girl named V. I know i just got out of a relationship with a cheating partner, but man... She is just... V I don't know what to say about her, she is just so nice, she's just so adorable bro oh my god, like wow... she's just a nice person to be around and to hang out with, she likes stuffies just like me, she has some squish mellows she sleeps with every night 25 of them. That's crazy because i just sleep with the bear facing me. But Jesus Christ that so fucking cute bro. Yesterday we started to ramp up with the flirting, and with some today... we talked about what we would do if we hung out in real life. But yea we chatted and flirted and everything Hehe, gosh this is making me smile, just thinking about her does Hehe. But there is one problem, i need some time to heal after what happened with me and Krisy, and i don't want to rush things with V and Me, I mean yea i have a Crush on V, but at the same time i need to take some time to heal emotionally...

Lately I've been thinking about a sadistic monster growing up inside of me and it is getting angrier and angrier every single day, Krisy was its first victim and rightfully so, it destroyed her status and reputation and her relationship she was only a week in cause her boyfriend or should I say ex-boyfriend legit does not trust her anymore. I legit do not fucking care about Krisy and she can go die for all I care, I hope she... Jordie go away please... Jordie calm down... shit he came out of me again... I don't want to hurt anyone with him please... There has to be another way we can get rid of him... I don't want him here... especially If and ONLY if I date V. I don't want it hurting her... I would never be able to forgive myself if it did...

[babydinojojo]

Day 4/Entry 4(Memories.. Lies.. Anger.. confusion..)

..... My dad... The man i called dad and his family... who i called aunt.. uncle.. grandma(My dad's mom), grandpa(My dad's dad)... isnt even related to me...All the memories and photos were a fucking lie... everything was a lie... That trip to Puerto Rico.. Lie... Going to North Carolina every summer... Lie... Graduation 2010/2015/2019/2023... all lies.. ALL OF IT WERE LIES.... I was lied to since day fucking 1 of my birth and my life... Everything since 2005 was a lie... The man i called dad.. isnt even fucking related to me.. nor is family..

There was a man who saw me near Mount Sani on Tuesday... He looked a lot like me... I looked at him, as i walking down the road and made a left and crossed the street, but... When we locked eyes for that split second.. he looked a lot like me.. I just brushed it off and continued my damn day... that evening later.. we were going through some family photos.. And i recognized two people... Grandma Evelyn.. and Grandpa Tim both who i barely remember.. fast forward to tonight.. My parents walk in the room.. called us both to the living room and we sat down together.. We had a causual conversation at first.. but then.. My mom was hesitant.. and then... bam.. "Your dad isnt your biological dad".... I didnt know what the fuck to say or to do.. I just sat there with my mouth dropped opened... everything in my head.. imploded just like the titan submarine incident... Everything... changed.. my head head hurts thinking about it... he's not related to me.. but i thought he was no fucking way.. He is related to me I know he fucking is.. I love the man who i call my dad and his family dearly.. to hear they weren't related to me.. Everything was shattered like when you throw a ball at the window and it breaks.. completely... They arent't related to me.. EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING LIE EVER SINCE MY FUCKING BIRTH!!!!!!! MY FUCKING BIOLOGICAL DAD AND HIS FAMILY AKA TRAVIS, GRANDMA EVELYN, GRANDPA TIM, GRANDPA JOSE ARE ALL FUCKING DEADBEATS!!!!!!.....

I fucking hate deadbeats with a fucking passion... But there is something i hate even more than that.. and its liars.. I FUCKING DESPISE LIARS!!!!... Since 2005 everything was a lie.. everything... now next time i hear "I love you" wether it be from Mom especially... i can't trust her... i can't.... i can't... everything has to be toxic why cant we all live in a perfect world.. and just have everyone work things out... not lie.. now im doubting if any of my friends are my real friends.. every.... BRO IF SOMEONE FUCKING "Ok" or "K" ME ONE MORE FUCKING TIME!!!!... not the point but look... How can I trust someone when they say "I love you"... How.... how do I know that they arent hiding lies from me... how do i know if the people who i call family are actually my fucking family.. How the fuck can i fucking tell... How... HOW!!! HOW!!!!!.... This lie.. since 2005... September 7th 2005... 2005... 2005.... 2005..... 2005..... 2005...... 2005...... 2005...... 2005..... 2005.... 2005.... 2005.... 2005..... everything.... my family.... Dad.... everything... lies.... why does everyone have to lie to me...... just why.... i can't even trust my own family not to hide things or lie to me... just why....

[babydinojojo]

Day 3/ Entry 3

Okay... maybe I've gotten way too mad at myself last night. I can't really sleep right now so i guess Imma write in here for a bit and then i'm gonna go back to sleep.

Okay forget what i said about the google doc, I will try my absolute best to remember to tell her shit alright, she still loves you Jordan you just need to let go sometimes yk. Okay anyway the Class 700 came out for Train Sim World 3 today so Im gonna be checking that out today. I wonder what skin i should Make for minecraft cause i need something completely original and no i don't wanna use AI cause that's gonna be the death of us Istfg, I don't know it's just i get a mega bad feeling even when i see AI chatbots and shit like they just make me scared for some reason and the fact that its ramping up faster and faster everyday makes me worry about the future... I DON'T WANNA DIE BY A ROBOT, I JUST WANNA LIVE A FULL LIFE AND SEE MY GF KRISY AND HAVE A LIFE WITH HER, NOT JUST DIE BY SOME DAMN ROBOT. Anyway tho I have an off day today surprsingly oh wait i forgot that i didnt have work today and i thought i overslept ;-; bruh, I keep forgetting shit. Which brings me to my next topic

I think i finally might know why i keep forgetting things, I just got way too much going on in the background to remember, I have a short attention span so it's probably because work is making me do more and more shit. Except the past two work days, where we did ABSOLUTELY nothing after my lunch break. That's time where I could have been texting Krisy and spending time with her, but its whatever tho. Oh yea funny story tho from Yesterday lol, Soooo i was on an R62A 6 Train right, and i was riding the City Hall Loop and everything went all and according to plan until we skipped the Fucking Uptown Platform, it went non-stop and i was lowkey panicking cause yea i thought i was on an Out of Service dehead, thankfully we stopped at Canal street, Yea im not gonna be doing the loop after that, speaking of the 6 Train, them R62As are extremely underrated as fuck, for trains that started on the 6 as Single units and then ended up on the 7 and then came back in 2015-2016, they are pretty fast and underrated for a local train.

While we are on the topic of my gf, I think i found some places I would like to show her around

-Brooklyn Bridge Park/Pier

-Barnes and Nobles in Downtown Brooklyn

-Ride around the City Hall Loop and show her the Abandoned City Hall Station which looks absolutely amazing to this day

-Dave and Busters TSQ/Gateway Mall

-Queens Center Mall

Okay yea that's a good list and a good start

Speaking of last night, like I said before i got way WAY too mad at myself last night. Damn.. I never realized how hard I am on myself especially for her. Okay I realize that i need to sometimes let things go, I can't be to hard on myself cause thats gonna end up destroying my confidence and make me start self harming, hasnt happened yet but still, i just gotta breath and chill the fuck out.

On a side note tho, im not sure why but for some reason i have a massive pet peeve when someone uses "Ok" or "K" or "Mk" instead of just saying "Okay" or "Alright. I don't know its just "Ok" or "K" Just seem way more cold and distant, and no in my opinion are not the goddamn same as "Okay"/"Alr"/"Kay"/"M'kay" Its just fucking not the same, like bro next person who "Ok" or "K" me im gonna end up getting pissed at them. Okay fine i'll admit i had way too many people, and no before you ask Krisy is not apart of those people, but still too many people try to pull that dry shit and it always send the goddamn wrong message cause i end up thinking something is the goddamn matter with them, like i said "Ok" and "K" are NOT the same as "Okay" and "Kay" or "Alright"/"Alr"

Well that's all i got for now, lets see where the day takes us shall we

[babydinojojo]

Entry 2/Day 2

HOW THE FUCK DID I FORGET TO TELL HER I JOINED, HOW THE FUCK DID I GET MAD FOR ASSUMING SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME, HOW TF DO I GET MAD OVER EVERY LITTLE FUCKING THING. I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT FUCKING TELLING HER, IM TRYING MY BEST TO TELL HER EVERYTHING BUT SOMETIMES I FUCKING FORGET, IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.. SHE FUCKING TELLS ME FUCKING EVERYTHING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME BRO WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY DAMN MOUTH SHUT, I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND ALL I FUCKING CARED ABOUT WAS THE "BF" PART. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN FOREVER, I DIDNT KNOW IT ALSO MEANT BEST FRIEND, WHY DID I GET MAD AT THAT ONE PART, IM SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF UGH I JUST WANNA THROW MY GODDAMN BEAR AND FUCK SHIT UP.. UGH... IM WORRIED ABOUT HER AND HER FRIEND.. I HOPE HER FRIEND IS GONNA BE OKAY CAUSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE SOMEONE ABUSIVE IN THEIR LIVES AKA MY GODDAMN BROTHER... BUT I CAN'T EVEN TELL HER SHIT AT ALL AND LET ALONE I CAN'T STOP ASSUMING THE GODDAMN WORSE... I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER I WAS IN THE SERVER, I WAS GONNA LEAVE BUT I FORGOT ABOUT IT.... ITS NOT FAIR TO HER CAUSE SHE TELLING ME EVERY FUCKING THING AND YES SHE FORGETS BUT ITS FUCKING OKAY, AND ME I KEEP TRYING BUT I FAIL MISERABLY AT THIS SHIT.. I ALWYAS DO, AND IM THE ONE THATS ALWAYS STRESSING ABOUT "THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN A RELATIONSHIP" BUT I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT ONE THING... LOOK IM JUST SCARED OF LOSING HER TO ANYTHING FOR EVERY FUCKING THING.... LOOK MAYBE I'M JUST UPSET BECAUSE THIS IS ANOTHER GUY THAT IS TALKING TO HER... BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GODDAMN SHARE AND NOT GET JEALOUS.. IT'S HARD KNOWING THAT YOUR GF IS TALKING TO ANOTHER BOY RN BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE I TRUST HER.... I JUST NEED TO GET OVER IT.. I REALLY NEED TO START TELLING HER SHIT... I HAVE AN IDEA.. IMMA MAKE A GOOGLE DOC AFTER I POST THIS SO THAT WAY I CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT I NEED TO REMEBER TO TELL HER AND IF I FORGET I CAN REFER TO THE GOOGLE DOC AND THEN I CAN PUT A CERTAIN TIME TO TELL HER.. YEA YEA THATS A GREAT IDEA.. AND IF I FORGET... I NEED TO PUNISH MYSELF SOMEHOW.. I WILL FIGURE THAT OUT LATER.. BUT YEA GOING FORWARD GOOGLE DOC WRITE WHAT I NEED TO TELL HER DOWN AND USE TUMBLR AS WELL TO TELL HER.... SHE MIGHT NOT BELIEVE IN FOREVER BUT I DO I BELIEVE IN FOREVER.. YES WE ARE GOING THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH IN OUR RELATIONSHIP CURRENTLY, BUT I KNOW WE CAN PULL THROUGH WE ARE SO GODDAMN STRONG WE'VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE BEFORE.. SO THIS IS NOTHING.. WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS.. TOGETHER.. LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY JORDAN ITS GONNA BE OKAY ALRIGHT... ITS GONNA BE OKAY BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE A PLAN GOING FORWARD :)

Calm now Jordan??

Good :)

Now go get them tiger

[babydinojojo]

Day One/Entry one

Hello everyone, my name is Jordan but y'all can call me Jordie. Usually im on discord but i need another place to post my thoughts about everything on here. Well Here I go

I just finished cleaning my bathroom finally after my mom kept rushing me to fucking finish it as usual breh ;-;, but its okay now cause i can just chill out. So let's start on todays topic because I only have two things on my mind. So lets start with my partner Krisy she's just amazing and the girl of my dreams, i'm really glad i met her and have her in my life, she has her ups and downs and moments when she gets really angry but that's okay because at the end of the day i value our time together and the fact that we spend everyday together really puts a smile on my face. She's everything i wanted in a girl, she's pretty, amazing, adorable, chill, and I would do ANYTHING for her even if it means beating the shit out of someone who dares crosses her or upsets her in anyway shape and/or form. She isn't perfect to be honest here yes, but she's perfect in my eyes and she will always be no matter what.

I just hate the fact that i can't tell her shit sometimes and i struggle to tell her things that go on, just like a few days ago... I couldn't tell her that Kasu was my ex and the fact that the day we started dating.. i was heading home from the emergency room because I had a major anxiety attack that day at school. She tells me things all the time, and yes she lies but still we all lie we ain't perfect, but too be honest it's not fair that she tells me everything and i sometimes forget to tell her things, i always stress on myself there are no secrets, but yet.. I fail even at that.. I really don't wanna hurt her or lose her because i can't tell her things.. and im actually started to keep things fresh cause she's been doing the heavy lifting with that and I haven't. Yesterday I suggested that we watch Maleficent or however the fuck you spell it and then i started picking some new games more and more instead of picking the same old shit everyday.

But with all that said, I love her so much more than anything and anyone in the entire world and i wanna keep her in my life.. Hell i even plan on Moving to Missouri with her soon hehe but first we gotta get there anything and everything is possible and i don't wanna jinx things you know??

The next topic i wanna discuss is trains and the upcoming Class 700 release for Train Sim World 3. I was operating an R32(2007-2010 Phase I) on the B Line in Openbve this morning it was actually a decent run and i only overran one station, im slowly getting the hang of it but I wanna explore other things, that where Train Sim World 3 comes in to play. That game made me discover something new about myself and made me more open to trying other countries and seeing how their train system works. My personal Favorite UK line is the Brighton Mainline and my favourite UK Trains are the Electrostars(Classes 375,377,387), and the Thameslink Class 700(Which is coming out for Train Sim World 3), at the end of the day tho i always stick to the NYC Subway especially the R32s and R42s since they were my childhood and those subway cars were always there for me even during my darkest days back in Middle School, now a days you don't really see them anymore just for fan trips, I like the R179s Yea.. but i just wanna see the 32s and 42s come back because I miss being a child, not 17 going on 18 and this bullshit. The last good year for Humanity imo was 2019 and the fact that everyone was to realize that nuclear war a seriously a bad idea, but look at the world now, we are on the verge of a devestating war. America is more divided than ever OVER sexual orientation,there is a good chance i might end up coming out as Demi(He/They) but Im still straight i mean I feel like i am guy and i do identify as one, but yet i feel like i don't fully identify as one I know my parents and Krisy will support me and so will Dexter but will Jayden Support is the question, eh its fine. Im getting off topic I know but yea America is more divided over LGBTQ and it's such a shame because at the end of the day nobody should have to feel ashamed of who they are and what they identify as, it's not fair to them because the community fought for these rights and its about to be all for nothing only for them to be taken away.

We really need to stand against this, and even as a straight person i always support the lgbtq community no matter what.

The Class 700 i am really looking forward to running it in Train Sim World 3 on Tuesday and Mainly on Brighton Main Line. I was gonna pick up the Glossop Line, but then i thought Nah. Alright that's all i got for now see y'all soon