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people telling you they reread your fic is the biggest compliment you could ever receive. there are thousands of stories out there begging to be found, to be explored, but your story meant so much to someone that they came back to it eagerly, they went over every word again. to love is to return and loving a fic is rereading it. thank you to all readers and rereaders <3333

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i’m running behind on absolutely everything right now so apologies if i’ve dropped the ball on responding to messages or things i said i’d do. going to do my best to play catch up over the next week or so 💛

#personal update #lol everything is okay with me personally for once but everything around me is on fire metaphorically speaking

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you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

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my husband made me post this. outlined most of this fic today so hopefully progress will be swift from here on out, but we’ll see.

#haladriel fic preview #my fic previews #wine fic #i’m still going back and forth between two titles lol

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“Transformative work is about repairing the deficiencies of canon” no, transformative works is about using canon as raw material. Sometimes that means fixing the canon. Sometimes it means making the canon worse. Sometimes it means slapping a pair of Groucho glasses and a silly hat on the canon and hoping nobody notices what’s really going on.

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oh hey, here’s a bit more from this upcoming fic that’s all but consumed me. it finally has a title, but i’m desperately trying to keep that to myself for the time being.

cw: she’s two decades older than him and married to someone else.

#haladriel fic preview #my fic previews #what was i calling this? wine fic? #wine fic

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not my meme but you all do know about this right? It feels like it's getting buried right now and I feel like its proponents are trying to take advantage of that.

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erase me, part four is now on twitter.

#still need to do the playlists and a real post of it #but figured i should share it here #haladriel textfic #haladriel rockstar divorce fic #erasemefic

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And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

#absolutely wild to know this while reading anna karenina #like dude did you really mine your wife’s misery and inject it into your protagonist #misery that seems to have been largely caused by you buddy #men ain’t shit

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“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

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the saurondriel relationship is absolutely addictive to me, because it's the very definition of "it doesn't matter if it's romantic or not. It literally doesn't matter because they are already Like That* canonically onscreen."

*"that" being... the epic, obsessive, intertwined, needing-no-words, innate-understanding, tragically-bound-by-fate... thing they have going on.

Like sure, it sucks that the marketing isn't allowed to acknowledge the clear romantic tension to their relationship. But also? Who cares. Them kissing on screen would not make that relationship better. Or worse! It wouldn't make it any more or less intensely what it already is. And I'm just... completely locked in. Here for the ride. Can't peel my eyes away from the entire trainwreck. Time of my life.

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everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

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H I M :)

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People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.

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still. after all of it. mostly, i want to be kind

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