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Day 2 of sleeping and hoping I don’t wake up :) fingers crossed

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If there is a god or a higher power please help just please so something for me i don’t ask for much I just want this girl to love me again please god

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So it’s the next night 8pm 4-5 days now of non stop fighting then stopping then fighting then stopping I’ve done everyting I can I’ve told her I’ll do anyting I told her what ever she wants weather it’s ownjng up to it Posting or anything even breaking up just to make her happy because all I want is her to be happy I don’t want to break up but it’s all I want id her happy

no I’m being insulted and degraded all night I get it I deserve it I’ve don’t slot worse over the years I get it but this just doesn’t feel good cslling me out for being digsutjg and all these things I just can’t do this anymore the anxiety the depression the nerves sre getting to me I have no one to talk to anf the suicidal thoughts are getting worse and worse and the self arm thoughts I can’t sleep at night I toss and turn I cry I lay in the fetal position trying to find comfort but I just can’t I can’t stop checking my phone every five minutes worrying what I’m gonna see or Whar she’s gonna say next I don’t want to do I need mental help I think I’m becoming bipolar I need to seek help well see what happens . Goodbye for now

2/18/21

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It's 5;50 now abs she still hates me she's telling me she's no longer my best friend ans I'm just here and that's it and I hate it I cried my eyes out to her today telling her how I feel

I tried to cut myself just a few minuted ago and honestly I couldn't it actually hurt to much at this point in thinking just smoke or drink The lain away ive been having problems sleeping I'm thinking maybe get sleeping pills and eventually Just OD so I don't wake up ever again not a jdea tbh my anxiety and hearr rate are thrkugh the roof I think I'm going to actually be diagnkwes with anxiety depression and maybe bipolar so I'm fucked. Goodnight everyone not that antone sees this 2/17/21

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Just gonna use this to vent and let my emotions out

ive been in a relationship with the most beautiful perfect loving caring smartest most down to earth hard working MOST LOYAL Girl ever for the last 10 years and in that 10 years she's done nothing but be the best she could be for me and What did I do ? Everything opposite everything I shouldn't of done . I on mult occasions would talked to girls behind her back girls that she would ask me not to specifically talk to i Would lie and say I wasn't when I was I would always talk to any girl thar I saw thinking I was some cool dude when in reality I was hurting the best thing I had which was my relationship anyway after all these years of fights and break ups and the ups and downs she always stuck true to me ans by my side she never let me down she was always there through and thick and thin and I continued to hurt her I never wanted to I really didn't in our time apart I was desperate and down and did desperate things that's I regret everyday of my life I wish. I could go back in time and change these things but I can't and fast forward 10 years later its my worst nightmare it's all cominf back to bite me in the ass I never needed or wanted another girl I was just a stupid angsty attention craving teenager whos didn't know what he was doing and all these years later I just want my soul mate I don't want anyting else I don't want money fame recognition I don't want anything I don't care if I live in a car all I want is to spend my life with her and only her I don't care about family friends or even my passion skateboarding and music I would throw it all away in a heart beat just to have her I fucked up so bad and all I want is to make her happy and I know right now all she wants is to be happy and she wants that without me I want nothing more then for her to be happy but I can't I've without her I cant be without her I literally can't i don't know what to do I just know I fucked up and I can't take it back what I've done but I just need to show I can prove myself I can't do anytging without this girl everywhere I look I think of her everytgong I do think of you everyting I see your ever here I love you. 2/17/21

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*opens a pack of gum*

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Michael Bohn (by alicia gai)

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my happiness and life in one picture

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♥♥♥

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bring me the horizon | Tumblr na We Heart It.

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Tyler Carter (by alicia gai)

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Relatable posts daily?

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