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Why do I carry the weight of you in my mind, in my heart? The why’s, the ifs plague me on a daily. It’s been so long, I don’t even know you and then I wonder if I ever did. Did it all really exist or is it fragments put together to make something out of nothing. I hate you, I want you out of my space, unwedge yourself from my heart, my memory, why can’t those things leave me...just as you have.

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“Love who you love while you have them. That’s all you can do. Let them go when you must. If you know how to love, you’ll never run out.”

— Ann Brashares, My Name Is Memory (via books-n-quotes)

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Amuse me

In desperate search of A “muse” ment 🙈🙉🙊

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This is everything ❤️

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Love this!

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That Summer

That summer I stared into the mirror no longer recognizing the reflection, the girl I had known was gone and a woman appeared with a look in her eye that both terrified me and sent shivers of delight throughout my body.

That summer I became instinctively aware of my presence and power as a woman.

That summer the heat never left my skin but I was so cool.

That summer I no longer had awkward intercourse, I had sex, I made love, I fucked wherever and whenever I wanted and then I did it again.

That summer I became unglued, unhinged, living on freedom, a wildness coursing through my entire being; there’s something to be said for sheer recklessness. Allowing yourself to open up to everything and anything, no fears, no second guessing, just wide open for whatever comes your way.

That summer I consumed you and let you consume me. Everything around us faded away...disappearing...the world was ours, and oh what a wonderful world it was.

That summer would forever change me, forever be imprinted on my soul...never allowing me to forget. When I think of heat, I think of our bodies entwined, drenched in perspiration, devouring each other as if we were each other’s last meal, waiting for the fan to spin in our direction for a blast of cool air. When I think of passion I think of every place and every position we made love in. I think of our first kiss and every one thereafter. I think of walking hand in hand on the beach, watching the sand sparkle beneath our feet as it caught the reflection of the moon. I think of sitting on the dock your head in my lap, talking about everything and falling deeper and deeper and harder and harder for you.

That summer would come to an end, my heart, your heart...broken into a million tiny pieces, scattered in so many directions.

That summer I experienced pain so deep, so unsettling, it shook me. I became unhinged, unglued, unraveled. Resenting the vulnerability that recklessness had allowed, but understanding the lesson, one the girl couldn’t comprehend but one the woman learned from.