when i think about being butch in relation to another person id say my primary goal is less to be someones knight and more about being someone's brother in a trench. we understand each other intrinsically and theres palpable hard wrought camaraderie and understanding rather than my own masculinity being a compliment to someone elses feminity
and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.