binkytherabbit

[binkytherabbit]

I wish I could sleep better. I wish I didn't feel so sick today. I've had too much caffeine but I have to keep having it to function. I want to sleep for 16 hours but my body won't let me

[binkytherabbit]

A different coworker is playing "happy radio" on SiriusXm. That's fine. Except that I had to leave the room just now to avoid hearing the Luke Bryant version of "fast car."

THAT IS A SAD SONG. DID YOU LISTEN TO THE LYRICS? HOW IN THE FUCK COULD THIS BE CONSIDERED PART OF HAPPY RADIO YOU MORONS

I honestly never want to listen to that song, in any version, ever again. It's too fucking sad! I don't want to become devastated by song lyrics in the middle of my goddamn work day

[binkytherabbit]

I thought I was sick of my coworker's "hits of the 2010s featuring way too much black eyed peas and ariana grande" playlist. Like if I had to hear Sia's "chandelier" another day in a row I was going to murder him.

But today he put on country music and I never ever thought I'd say it but i miss Sia and Katy Perry. I hate country music so much. It's so bad and stupid and I hate their stupid accents and voices. "Country girl shake it for me" makes me die inside. Stop singing about getting drunk!!!

I fucking hate country music. It's bad.

[binkytherabbit]

Sometimes I kind of forget that other people have feelings because I've spent so long keeping all my feelings to myself that it feels like I'm the only human who can possibly feel this way.

But other people have strange feelings and emotions they can't describe too. I'm not really that special.

Sorry for saying "feel" too much

[binkytherabbit]

I don't have any human friends to talk to so I am using Tumblr as a diary.

I have many thoughts but I can't remember them all when I sit down to write.

They are not all important or profound but it's good to get them out I think

[binkytherabbit]

Songs I hate that are terrible:

Black Widow (Iggy Azalea et al)

Womanizer (Britney)

Bang Bang (Jessie J et al)

Dark Horse (Katy Perry)

Someone You Love (Lewis Capaldi)

[binkytherabbit]

Bands and musical acts that suck and I hate:

Fall Out Boy

Imagine Dragons

Sia

Megan Trainor

[binkytherabbit]

There are so many different products available every day at every store. You can buy anything at any time. But how much of it ends up in landfills?

All the fancy bottled water from Fiji and Iceland, if someone doesn't buy it then it gets thrown away. All the chocolate harvested by child slaves, if it expires then it's trash. All the vegetables that people worked backbreaking labor to grow and harvest, all the meat that represents the lives of a billion animals, it all has such a short shelf life and it has to go somewhere when nobody wants it or can use it. We just don't like to think about it.

How much fuel is spent to ship these things from overseas, just for them to end up in a landfill? Either here or in another country we're exploiting. It feels so pointless. It's such a horrible waste.

Our system is frankly monstrous. What great lives we lead, we can get anything we want any time we want it. And then we throw it away. We waste resources and lives and frankly, the health and future of our planet, just for the sake of convenience. We dont need all these things all the time.

Here's the thing, I do like having choices! I do like being able to go the store and get the things I need and want! I do like the convenience of ordering on amazon and having it shipped right to my door! But this endless choices, endless growth, endless use of resources is just not sustainable. We are so selfishly using up our planet's limited resources. I fear what the world will look like in 20 years.

[binkytherabbit]

Our modern world is very strange and YES there are so many good things in it but also sometimes I just hate everything so much

[binkytherabbit]

I can't seem to see anything through a positive lens.

Everything gives me bad feelings. I'm capable of feeling bad about literally anything.

The song "jump around" was playing and it has the line about cops at a donut shop. I thought about donuts and then I thought about a person who ate too many donuts and they are fat now and sad because they are despairing of ever being not fat again. Something like donuts that used to make them happy is now hurting them but they are also addicted and don't know how to stop eating them and making themselves fatter.

I have feelings about this because I used to be addicted to food too at the same time my drinking was out of control. I know the horrible feelings. I don't feel that bad anymore, I don't drink anymore and my weight is better , but these feelings wil come up in an instant and take over my brain and I don't know how to make them stop.