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btw for any of my fellow physically disabled folks who are in need of a wheelchair but can't get one, here's a list of some charities that donate them. a site that seems pretty good (can't speak from first-hand experience though) is lifenets, a site where you can individually request (donated) wheelchairs. i'd also highly recommend donating your own mobility aids that you might not need anymore

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Being on the BIID subreddit is cool and all, but idk whether it’s more help or hurt.

It’s good because on one hand, it’s really helpful to be in a community of people who totally get what I’m talking about.

But on the other,,, no hate against devotees or anything, but the number of people I get in my dms who jump right into asking a lot of weird, super personal questions, is a lot larger than I thought it’d be.

That, and the fact that everyone else is about 30 years old than me.

Idk. It’s an ick for sure, but what can you do

#actually biid #biid #body integrity dysphoria #body integrity identity disorder

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Making a strawberry-banana parfait at the ungodly hour of 2 in the morning while also plotting how to paralyze myself from the bellybutton down and make it look sudden rather than planned.

The duality of a determined BID-having bish shall never be underestimated.

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Stoner para BIID (which is a very specific group of people lol) life hack:

I don’t have any mobility aids that I can use to sim in, so I have to get pretty creative. For me, what works the best is getting pretty high and visualizing that my legs don’t move.

I know getting high is a different experience for everyone, but for me, it makes my whole body feel just a little bit heavier. I start simming before I get high, so that the intent was already present in my mind once it hits, and it works pretty well for me. My legs feel just that much heavier and unmovable than usual.

Just wanted to share the experience in case it could apply to anyone else

🫶

#actually biid #biid #body integrity dysphoria #body integrity identity disorder

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Stoned BIID thought:

What if the answer to BIID is reincarnation? Like theoretically, what if reincarnation IS the answer, and people who have BIID are people who were disabled in a past life?

Interesting.

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #actually biid #body integrity identity disorder

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The question rolling around in my head over and over:

What do I do?

Do I abandon all hope of my dreams to fix the discord in my head? Or do I create that inner peace with myself, only to live with “but what would’ve happened if I hadn’t given up dance?”

Do I keep researching my BIID and learning more, absorbing information, or do I delete all evidence of it and try to keep it out of my mind forever?

Do I tell someone I love and risk both life-saving acceptance and isolating rejection, or do I never tell anyone and live with my own inner torment by myself?

Do I attempt to find a wheelchair that I can try in an effort to experience euphoria, or do I steer clear as I have been, in fear of what the euphoria may lead me to?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to proceed. I have all this information and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t want to be 75, wishing I had done -something-, and yet I don’t want to be 25, wishing I hadn’t quit dancing.

I don’t know y’all. I don’t know.

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #actually biid #body integrity identity disorder

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Having paralysis BIID while having dance as your career is a total trip. Dance is everything to me- but my stupid brain wants to ruin the entire thing I’ve got going on because it thinks my legs shouldn’t work. The best contradiction I’ve ever seen in my life.

Oh how I love being mentally ill

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Ways my paralysis BIID has been negatively impacting my daily life (educational post based on my experience):

Sleep deprivation and general exhaustion - (I’m kept awake at night by obsessive thoughts)

Running late to work, classes, etc (lack of motivation to get up and participate in life)

Not keeping up with the gym/my physical health (it’s really hard to find motivation to strengthen a part of your body that you feel should be the opposite)

Self-loathing (I feel like that’s pretty self-explanatory)

Anxiety and depression (that’s also pretty self-explanatory)

Trouble maintaining relationships (I feel guilty carrying this giant “secret” around on a daily basis. It’s even worse knowing that a lot of the closest people in my life wouldn’t understand, and that the possibility of getting shamed for it is pretty large. This leads me to start avoiding close interactions in general, just to placate that guilt)

I’ll make a pt 2 if I end up thinking of more things, but that’s what comes to mind right away

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #actually biid #body integrity identity disorder #biid education

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I got to see my best friend in person for the first time in a long time today, because she lives five hours away, and she happened to be in town.

She’s the person I feel the most comfortable around, and the person I feel I can really be myself with. I wanted to tell her about my BIID so badly. I know she would react better than others, and I feel such a huge urge to talk to -somebody- about it that I almost spilled.

But I didn’t. I wouldn’t even know how to begin. I can’t stand the chance of her liking me less, thinking I’m crazy (which, honestly, isn’t too far off), or deciding she doesn’t want to hang out anymore.

I really can’t trust anyone in my life with this. And I would kill to feel less isolated… but unfortunately it seems that’s the way it’s going to have to be.

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #actually biid #body integrity identity disorder

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The wave has been really high over the past week. Not sure how to cope with it tbh. I kinda just keep pushing it to the side and finding ways to distract myself but the itch always comes back, stronger than ever.

If anyone has any tips they’d be super appreciated <3

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #actually biid #body integrity identity disorder

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If you have bodily autonomy, then there is always a chance that you will do something to your body that you will regret. This is not an argument for taking that autonomy away.

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By the way:

I don’t use the terms transabled/cisabled because I’m on board with the understanding that it mocks the trans community.

Both communities have their similarities, but… they’re different. I prefer to keep them very separate.

Gentle PSA to keep out if you use either of these terms <3 thx

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Hey y’all! A little introduction about me:

I don’t remember when I first started having thoughts about being paralyzed. They go back as far as I can remember. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep.

I only recently learned about BIID less than a year ago- I literally never thought there was anyone else like myself. Learning that there is a community opened my eyes a lot, and I’m both extremely excited and terribly nervous.

I see myself as a low-level paraplegic, with very little sensation and zero mobility, whatever that ends up looking like.

Anyway. If you got this far, thank you for reading! Feel free to reach out with any questions, or just to chat <3

#actually biid #biid #body integrity dysphoria #body integrity identity disorder