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bowsersforeskin · 19 minutes
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brain: slartibartfast
me: huh?
brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?
me: yeah, what about it?
brain: yeah
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bowsersforeskin · 50 minutes
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Me: hi! Welcome to Lids, can I help you find anything?
Customer: yeah, I'm looking for a Yankees fitted. In all black.
My coworker Steven the wicked dark elf paladin: perhaps a blood-weeping crown of thorns would look good
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bowsersforeskin · 1 hour
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i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me about your decision. While I am disappointed that I will not be considered for a position at your company, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I do hope you'll keep my resume on file in case another position becomes available. Attached please find pictures of my penis And scrotum shortly after self-mutilation with a dull pocketknife. Thank you for your time and I look forward to any future correspondence.
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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hey hey hey
Assigning you a song that makes white people go nuts (from experience)
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bowsersforeskin · 2 hours
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Me in 2018: I can't thirst post that's embarrassing
Me now: I know he nuts loud and abundant
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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my uncle's official AC/DC branded air conditioner that he won from a radio station
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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THE END
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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"Your other fragments went off to see a new galaxy. I bet they've turned into a big, beautiful comet by now."
"You think so? I hope they can brighten someone's day."
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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I made a Wallsocket inspired userbar! Feel free to use! This was also my very first bar :3
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bowsersforeskin · 3 hours
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Happiness is being married to a Hungarian
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bowsersforeskin · 4 hours
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biden could have called for a ceasefire months ago. let it be known now and forever : america is no hero. we all watched the us veto every single appeal to stop the barbaric slaughter of innocent lives. but it only took three foreign nationals, three white people, and not the 30,000+ Palestinian lives gone...
edit : 7 white adults. not the 15000+ Palestinian children.
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bowsersforeskin · 4 hours
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✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨
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