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brownskinbettysalmanac-blog · 5 years

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IS ANYTHING REAL ANYMORE?

What’s your life purpose? How are you currently using your light to share it with the world?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what my purpose is. I want to keep this from becoming a post solely about depression, but I think everyone must admit to themselves the depression they feel when trying to recognize what their own light looks like. And that is totally okay.

Yes, I’ll admit I’ve had a couple cycles with depression. I continue to pick myself up without pharma pills. One thing I do know is that being depressed felt hard every-time. Whether it actually was hard is up for perception though. No, I’ve never done anything crazy or life-threatening over it [I usually cry & sulk]. Unfortunately, I know people who have and I do not see myself any better than them. I am not any better than anyone who has been brave enough to say they have been depressed. There are levels to depression just like every other thing that exists. Everyone feels depression at some point in life. We all have our different ways of coping. Mine just happened to be getting high as a kite off mary-jane to numb the emptiness that is life for a millennial. I’d fall asleep, wake up the next morning and go about my day as if I wasn’t depressed. Gotta keep it cute in public, right? I have a deep love and respect for the plant, but I too must learn to keep healthy boundaries around it to avoid codependency just like the next person.

Have you been codependent towards anything lately? Journal about it & come out of denial about it.

I can’t say that I will never accept pharma help for it, but at this point in my life, I’d like to continue to seek holistic methods of leading a purpose driven life…. [Nah, I ain’t read the book]. Does anyone else feel like big pharma is finding more ways to shove pills down everyone’s throat? Shouldn’t doctors be advising the public to take a yoga class? Start journaling? Go to therapy? Read a fucking book? Go for a freaking run? PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN?! I wanna let yall in on a secret… your followers don’t really love you - the majority of them envy you…… and you love it. It’s sickening how having other’s envy us can be a turn on. It gives us gas. Clout. Purpose… I mean a sense of fake-purpose.

Would you be willing to deactivate all of your social media avenues for a week, or month, just to see who you are without it? I double-dog-dare you.

When you realize just how big of a hold social media & social acceptance has on your life is when you begin to feel empty or even misunderstood in the ways that you might currently be perceived. This still occurs whether or not you tell someone, drop the mask, or keep the charade going. At one point, we must admit that we give our your ego full power over our lives at a steep price. We become slaves to our own labels and perceived ways of being. You don’t have to admit it out loud, but in your mind, you know I’m right. I am not here to shame others.

I do have a purpose, but I haven’t quite put my finger on what it is. I’m close though. I do know that I want my purpose to feel good. I want it to feel like I’m helping others and not stepping on them to get a trophy and bragging rights. I want to help and heal myself and facilitate help and healing in others. Does anybody else want the same? Does anybody else truly feel that there is room at the top for everyone?

What do you do to provide for yourself? Does it make you feel proud and fulfilled? If not, Why not? If yes, does your trade or craft make others feel less than?

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of food shows on Netflix. My current favorite is The Chef’s Table. I am INSPIRED at the lengths that these chefs from around the world express their passion for authentic cuisine. Every. Single. episode I’ve watched the chefs speak passionately on how important it is for real ingredients. real culture, real love, and real passion, real authenticity for whatever it is they cook. Commercialization & mass-production is killing our food and it is killing our souls beyond food.

It makes me wonder why we as people [at least in the good ol’ U.S. of A.] have become so content with commercializing our lives to the point where there is no real, amazing, point. Everyone & thing feels replaceable, interchangeable, and discounted. Does anyone want anything real anymore? Something they can be proud of any more?

#BrownskinBettySpeaks

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