butterfly-in-progress

[butterfly-in-progress]

"low support needs disabled people are often not believed to have a disability at all and therefore struggle to get accommodations."

"high support needs disabled people's accommodations are often seen as 'too much' and therefore are not met."

"neurodivergent people's needs are often dismissed because nothing is physically wrong with them."

"physically disabled people people often cannot physically access buildings and people refuse to do anything about it."

"invisibly disabled people are seen as lazy by society."

"visibly disabled people are ostracized from society."

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE DISABILITY

[butterfly-in-progress]

I think one fun side effect of studying uni level math is that simultaneously the complex numbers start seeming simpler than you thought but at the same time the real numbers are *way* more fucked up than you thought

[butterfly-in-progress]

[butterfly-in-progress]

me after planting seeds, approximately every 10 minutes: sprout??? sprot?? sprut??? sprought? spr-

[butterfly-in-progress]

I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache

life just goes on no matter what

[butterfly-in-progress]

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

[butterfly-in-progress]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[butterfly-in-progress]

and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?

[butterfly-in-progress]

thinking out loud

[butterfly-in-progress]

The first session with the best therapist I've had, I was giving her the rundown on me and what I was struggling with.

And she asked me "do you know the difference between guilt and shame?"

And I was like "yeah yeah, I've known that a while now," and I elaborated and was like "and shame isn't helpful and you gotta let that go"

And she hit me with "you're clearly very knowledgeable and have done a lot of work on yourself. Do you think you're feeling shame for having struggles with shamep? Because you feel you 'should' be more evolved by now?"

And I needed a moment for that.

So gentle reminder that working on yourself is a lifelong journey and any time you're tempted to think you "should be better" by now or "shouldn't struggle with this anymore" remember that struggling is part of life and it's not shameful. You're not above being subject to the slab of electric meat that is your brain and you're not supposed to be.

I'd argue that as long as we experience any external expectations from others we will have to struggle with shame. It's okay, we can keep working on it. And the journey may never be done but it's still worth it.

the fact that i still have to unlearn shame… like come on that’s literally the most embarrassing thing to not have unlearned yet

[butterfly-in-progress]

A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.

[butterfly-in-progress]

ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL

[butterfly-in-progress]

"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?

"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?

"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?

"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?

"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?

"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?

Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!

[butterfly-in-progress]

this meme is so niche

[butterfly-in-progress]

[butterfly-in-progress]

HOT TIP!!!

You will drink more water if it tastes good. I’m dead serious. Throw some mint in there, throw some lemon or strawberry or a little flavor packet. Your brain likes things that taste good.

[butterfly-in-progress]

Studies show that approaching youth with a bystander-intervention model is actually a lot more effective for reducing sexual assault, and it is also more enthusiastically received than programs that bill themselves as anti-rape.

We can tell youth that they are basically “rapists waiting to happen” (anti-rape initiative), or we can tell them that we know they would intervene if they saw harm happening to someone and we want to help empower them to do that (bystander intervention). The kids jump in with both feet for the latter! It was amazing to see children (and young boys in particular) excited to do this work and engage their creativity with it. Also, studies show that not only do they go on to intervene, but they also do not go on to sexually assault people themselves. Bystander intervention also takes the onus off the person being targeted to deter rape and empowers the collective to do something about it. It answers the question in the room when giggling boys are carrying an unconscious young woman up the stairs at a house party, and people are not sure how to respond and are waiting for “someone” to say or do something.

Richard M. Wright, “Rehearsing Consent Culture: Revolutionary Playtime” in the anthology Ask: Building Consent Culture edited by Kitty Stryker