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pass the bong this shits unbearable

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i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life 

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Oddish! 🫐🌱

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this came to me in a dream

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Can you be held in contempt of court if your hearing is over zoom? Like how would they enforce that

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Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

The guy who called me the Whore of Babylon for teaching kids about Ancient Egypt as I stood there and nodded.

The woman who was deeply incensed that staff wouldn't open the cases so she could touch the organic objects.

The one guy who made me translate hieroglyphs on a stele for him, then was mad because it didn't say what he wanted it to say, and reported me for 'lying' to the public.

The parents who objected to the taxidermied animals having taxidermied genitalia because it was unseemly.

Those kids on a school trip who got on the floor in front of a mummy and started chanting 'we worship Ra' as their teacher desperately tried to get them to leave.

That one guy who...uh...really liked geodes. No, they were not a special interest. He really, really liked geodes.

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Words cannot describe my disappointment that when Griffin McElroy realized that his established lore required him to create a spirit of Cat Seduction to tempt Travis into remaining a catboy, he made it a fat orange cat living on the Plane of Lasagna but didn’t give it Garfield the Deals Warlock’s voice. He took all the right steps and yet tragically stumbled at the finish line.

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“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

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This is still my favorite YouTube comment

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girlhood is touching your necklace whenever you feel nervous

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I love grindr images like this, they're so awesome sauced