cables-and-wires

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I will lay 1000 damn daniel eggs

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Once you've listened to enough obscure stoner doom metal the albums in your youtube recommendation start toeing the line between "comedy gold" and "images that go hard"

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My silly fakémons Pickerpie & Snagpie! I had sm fun trying to recreate fake gifs inspired by the anime recently, I can't wait to do more :3

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Whenever I see an influencer do a "I broke someone's TV so I could surprise them with a better one" prank I'm always like. You could have donated that. Someone else could have got a nice TV for cheap. But no. Instead you broke it for clicks

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they said an adult kinnie addicted to carts couldnt write a post that would change the world

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I think that if a post by someone who has blocked u is on your dashboard it should show up with the like and reblog buttons disabled and some manner of scowling devil imp or beast next to their url

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how good each lcb sinner would be at rolling a joint: a compendium

FAUST: it's either perfect because she's a genius or bad. either way she just looks at everyone else like this is what she meant to do. like when a dog gets stuck somewhere and just stands there with their head through a lawn chair or whatever like they're just fine with it. that's faust with her godawful joint.

YI SANG: it's average. it's passable. it's not great, but you can smoke it.

HEATHCLIFF: slightly better than yi sang, but he might get performance anxiety from people watching him, in which case he messes up one thing and smashes the weed against the table and crumples the paper around it like THERE'S YOUR FUCKIN SPLIFF MATE. FUCK OFF I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN

ISHMAEL: usually vapes or uses a pipe (picked this up from queequeg) but will take a stab at it. like yi sang, it's fine. it's okay.

RYOUSHUU:

MEURSAULT: so precise it looks machine-rolled. it's technically sound but it's not fun the way some of the others are

RODION: masterful at any and all weed activities. this is the woman you want to smoke with.

SINCLAIR: doesn't know what he's doing so rodya is showing him. it's half decent for his first time and rodya's like "hey good job kiddo!" and sinclair is like "...? :D" then he takes one hit and gets really scared.

GREGOR: rodya tries to give him an out because he only has one hand, but he probably hand-rolled cigarettes during the war. so he's like "well hold on" and rolls a pretty good one-handed joint using his bug arm as leverage. it's actually kind of impressive. rodya starts cheering and clapping

HONG LU: starts by taping two rolling papers together to fit an absolutely massive amount of weed and has no idea that it's, like, a lot. hong lu will create something that will fucking kill you.

DON QUIXOTE: My comrades! Prepare to feast thine eyes upon talent heretofore unseen! (spills the weed on the floor)

OUTIS: tells everyone she will not partake in such a foolish pastime; is currently blasted on military-grade amphetamines

DANTE: gets goaded into it despite their protests that they don't even remember anything and also don't have a mouth. sits down. rolls a perfect joint. even spread of weed. touch of tobacco to keep it from burning down too quickly. handmade filter rolled in. everyone is silently staring at the joint. dante's like <what? did i do it wrong?> outis is like "... executive manager one of the others must have placed this down on the table when you were not looking." she refuses to believe dante just did that in front of her. rodya starts cheering again.

VERGILIUS: wishes he could kill these idiots in a way that matters

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#taller than both my bio mom and adoptive mom

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me in that fucking elevator

#roblox

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Chastity kink guy who is also a prison abolitionist: the only cages people belong in are—

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government is trying to ban tiktok meanwhile millions of poor and disabled americans are about to completely lose their internet access at the end of april because congress wont renew funding for the affordable connectivity program

hell fucking world

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hey you do know that neurodivergent doesnt only mean autism and adhd right. like it includes ocd and anxiety and depression and even cluster b disorders. you know that right.

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Oh she thinks she’s the plusherrrrr

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"Don't lie to people" is all very good until u remember how funny it is to give the wrong birthday to an astrology person and have them go "that explains so much abt you

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Call me a bucket full of pennies the way having sex with me is difficult and painful for others