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theyrye putting chemicals in your food that make you moan like a girl btw

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me when I say 'it is what it is'

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$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

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People without siblings should be required to undergo rigorous training before they're allowed to be a roommate

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op is posting from tamriel. or perhaps the lands between

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heartening saga honestly

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if she's talking head I know this must be the place 🥴

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head hurt? Solution: head hurt more

Headache Treatments in 1890s Known as Vibration Therapy

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Introverts assemble 🐝

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2023

1. COMMIT TO THE BIT

2. PARTAKE IN THE DIVINE ACT OF CREATION

3. LET THE SOFT ANIMAL THAT IS YOUR BODY LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

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a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

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plant: *coughing up milky jizz* “feed me, Semen”

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

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big dog owners are like this is my dog Stink he weighs 110 pounds and if you don’t let him sit in your lap he will cry and kill himself forever

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ik we all want to be covered in blood but which way sounds the best: splattered across your face, dripping out of your mouth or poured over you carrie-style?

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