callmewabi

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Broke: adopt a child

Woke: borrow your boyfriend's

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Damian: I impulsively bought a snake. What do I name him?

Dick: You did WHAT—

Jason: William Snakespeare.

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The fact Tim and Damian's rivalry start as soon as he arrives the manor... 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (ps: can we have childhood friend barbara and adopted cass, steph, and duke as well?)

I was just about to show the others. 🤗

Not adopted (yet), bt here u go their childhood.

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What if boys were adopted since baby

except Damian.

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He's always cute but the bat jammies are on the next level of cuteness

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You know that younger sibling / older siblings thing where the older ones simply refuse to acknowledge that the younger one is aging up?

So that- but with Damian and his whole family.

Boy could turn 15 and Jason’s still like “Oh, my baby brother Damian? Yeah he’s 11.”

He could go out and legally get his license at 16, and on instinct, Tim still never lets him drive. “wait until you’re 16-“ “I AM SIXTEEN”

He turns 18 and Dick is scandalized when he suggests that they watch an R rated movie. Who cares about all the blood and gore he’s already witnessed- “Damian you’re too young for R rated movies!!”

He finally turns 21 and Bruce still makes sure to tell the servers at the galas to not serve any drinks to Damian because “he’s too young.” Meanwhile Damian is just seething in the background, clenching his glass of apple juice so hard that it shatters.

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Jason: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Dick, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jason: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

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Bruce Wayne’s son privilege.

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Dick Grayson, going to grab ceral at 3 AM finding his little brother face down on the kitchen floor:

Dick, lightly touching Jason with the side of his foot: Little Wing, move out of the way please so I don’t trip on you.

Jason, his eyes enormous: You KICK Jason? You kick his body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for brother! Jail for brother for One thousand years!!!!

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Look, Batman, a dog!

Quick, Robin, pet it.

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Dick: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Damian: Which one? I can’t do both!

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Phrases I bet were said on the Batcave without context.

Duke: So you had enough time to put a dinosaur here but not to cover the endless pit of death?

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Babs (To Dick in the Batman suit): Do not kiss me wearing that it freaks me out.

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Jason: Okay. Got it you have a plan. Great. But before we all follow it I have to ask– is that a fucking cow?

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Damian: I admit. I haven't misplanned how to get Batcow out of the cave.

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Alfred: Master Bruce there's a lot of courage in trying to tell me how to take care of the kid you won't clean up after.

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Tim (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Jason (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Superman (first time there): You know I'm not surprised.

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Bruce (In the middle of a video call with the Justice league and hearing the loudest argument from upstairs): Give me a second.

Bruce: DO NOT MAKE ME GO UP THERE

Silence.

Bruce: As I was saying–

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13 year old Tim: Okay, hear me out– That might sound a little crazy. But what about. . . pants. Same thing, same suit, but with pants

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Bruce (being paranoid): I'm not being paranoid.

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Jason, looking at the Batcomputer: Ever tried to run GTA on this thing?

Tim: You are a danger to society,

Tim: And a coward. Try Skyrim.

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20 something Nightwing visiting: Why are you awake?

15 year old Jason: Why are you dressed as the lost member of the village people?

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Batman: I thought you were on a family vacation.

13 year old Tim: So did my parents– Look at what I found on the Two-Face case.

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Be nice to your little brothers

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(The evolution trigger is ✨Trauma✨)

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Bonus: sisters are the best

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dick as a child: feral

dick as an adult: burnt out, severely depressed, traumatized

jason as a child: angel

jason as an adult: war criminal