campfirecheckpoint

[campfirecheckpoint]

I didn’t really feel like this post warranted a title-not as if they really matter much anyway, they’re just extra steps to what you want to write. I reckon i spend a good ten percent of my day just trying to think of titles actually, whether it’s a thermodynamics assignment or an anime i couldn’t quite put my finger on; sometimes i wonder what i’d even do with that extra time though. i’d probably sleep it away as usual. Of course, that’s wishful thinking in of itself. I can’t say i’ve slept a pleasant night since... i don’t know, August? These days, i tend to exchange daylight hours for the peace and quiet of the night; my bedtime is exclusively between 3am to 6am, regardless of my schedule for the upcoming day. I wouldn’t exactly call it effective either. I can practically see the silhouette of a mountain of overdue calculus or relativity question sheets looming over me like a budget horror movie creature-then again, i scare very easily... With this being my inaugural post, i suppose i should aim for it to be a little less “colloquial”? I think. What does it matter, i don’t consider myself a very entertaining person anyway, i’d much rather keep the conversation between myself and I. Didn’t quite realise how in need i was of auto capitalisation until i was this far down, crushed by the weight of several ugly red squiggles. Think of it as a testament to my lack of English language skills, it’s a shame i stopped reading as much as i used to. Then again, who am i to impress here but myself? There’s no need to be overly verbose, as long as i can string together a basic sentence, i struggle to locate an issue. On the topic of language and the penned mind, i sometimes feel that an individual’s writing style truly is unparalleled in building an image of their character and personality, more so than their in person interactions at times. Writing tends to allow the author to be a little more vulnerable, given the metaphorical armour of a screen that divides them from the reader they converse with. I often think that a person can truly be vastly different from the way they act, to the way they present themselves in the written form. You’ll never completely understand that person if you only allow yourself to be exposed to them in one of the two mediums. Honestly, it never would’ve crossed my mind that i would be able to write for so long speaking to myself alone. You’re looking at a week’s worth of script, transcribed in about twenty minutes. With no other participating members to bounce the conversation off of, a stalemate between the parties can never be reached, so thoughts just tend to trail off into, well, this. If normal conversations could occur like this, i wouldn’t be relying on writing a blog on a website i never use. I’m starting to realise just how one sided this interaction really is now, the “i”s are increasing tenfold at this point, it’s rather unsightly. I had actually began writing with the sole intention of discussing my mental health, in a sort of one to one with my own mind-apparently it is quite the medatitive practice. I’m suddenly reminded of a scene in a Wallace and Gromit film(the title evades me yet again) in which Gromit is attempting to construct his own train tracks while going full speed ahead. I really do feel sometimes as if my own mind subconsciously blocks me from talking about my wellbeing, given the sheer amount of tangents i take on a regular basis, thank god i don’t talk this much in person. I think i’ll draw the line here for today though, i’m actually writing to distract myself from the maths exam i have next wednesday. See you round, me. Until next time.