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captain-ultimat-doggo · 19 hours
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tried to google search for that post that's like.. something about squids and it goes "the squirterrrrrrrrr" and believe it or not that did not show me the thing i was looking for
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captain-ultimat-doggo · 24 hours
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Reblog if you are not a pedophile.
If everyone doesn’t reblog this, I’m unfollowing all of you.
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captain-ultimat-doggo · 24 hours
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Wheb you least expect it
I think There's another Evil slenderman and they already befriended @eviler-slenderman
Hooray. Wonderful.
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captain-ultimat-doggo · 24 hours
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All throughout childhood, while my peers were socializing and making friends, I studied the blade read so many books that I am now almost legally blind, which left me with vast and deeply instinctual understanding of English grammar - and next to no ability to explain how it actually works. Friends will often ask me to proofread their writing and then get very mad when I say things like, "You need to completely reverse this sentence and cut this clause entirely; no, I'm sorry, i don't know why, I just know that the way it is now ITCHES 😭"
Now, what I want to see is a fantasy story where this plays out with MAGICAL grammar. Someone from a backwater town deeply steeped in folk magic arrives at Wizard Uni where all their fellow students are like "What do you mean, we should add another '𝞯∘⋇𝞿' to the incancation because it 'sounds better'? What do you mean, 'it could just be a regional thing'?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THIS SPELL JUST FEELS LIKE IT NEEDS A LIVE RAT'????"
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just thinking about the line "he doesn't say goodbye, he just lets go" in reference to kaz at the end of crooked kingdom, because this line is actually quite ironic.
yes, kaz tends to not have a tendency to say goodbye to people or to anything, as seen in the both the books and the show (I know he came to say goodbye to inej, but like when did he actually utter the words??? that's right, he didn't). so, the first half of this quote still somewhat stands.
it's the second part of the quote that gets me. "he just lets go." because this could not be more untrue when it comes to kaz. when inej tells him she isn't going to stay in Ketterdam and is going to leave and hunt slavers, does kaz resign himself to her leaving and let go? no, for once in his life he voices his real feelings and asks her to stay with him. after the events of the 2 books are over, does kaz let go of his time with the crows and move on? well, he kinda has to a bit but actually no, because he names his club "The Silver Six" and continues to ask after them (i.e. telling Jesper he is missed at the slat). in fact, Kaz's entire motivation throughout the past 8 years of his life has been rooted in vengeance of something he still hasn't moved on from that happened when he was 9! poor kaz has only ever had good things ripped from him, and I think this caused him to develop a tendency to not just "let go" of anything. I could maybe even get metaphorical and argue that kaz holding onto Jordie's body is representative of his inability to let things go....but I won't cause I haven't thought that through yet haha. anyway, just food for thought.
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Does anyone ever think about how everything 3rd life etho loved (his base his tree his pets) all got burnt like things being set on fire and burning down were such a big part of his 3l character that he started naming his videos after it and then he died on fire. And then ll happened and bdubs was like okay well let's make our base out of nether wood so it doesn't burn down ever because you deserve a place to be safe. And when they can't do that they make it out of snow. And they replant the dark oak tree and do their best to protect it even when scar threatens it again. And bdubs teaches him that axe hits disabled shields so he can protect himself. And then bdubs dies and etho forgets that axe hits disable shields and gets killed by one. And then in double life his house burns down and he dies in lava believing that bdubs betrayed him and sent him to burn again after protecting him for so long. Has anyone thought about this before? I didnt think so its okay. Walks away. Turns back around to say something. Decides against it and walks away again
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Family tree I guess??????
Lizzie: Hi I'm Lizzie and this is my husband Joel and this is his boyfriend Etho and his boyfriend Bdubs and his boyfriend Ren and his boyfriend Martyn and his boyfriend Jimmy and his husband/boyfriend/whatever they are now Scott also Tango is Jimmy's current boyfriend and Scott's ex Pearl and Pearl's girlfriend Gem and Gem's best friend Cleo who is Scott's partner? I think? Also they are Etho's ex wife, become wife and adopted both Bdubs and Scar.
Tango: It gets worse
Lizzie: How?!
Tango: Well, I'm dating Skizz who's dating Impulse who's dating Zedaph.
Lizzie: so it goes me, Joel, Etho, Bdubs, Ren, Martyn, Jimmy, Scott, you, Pearl, Gem, Cleo, Skizz, Impulse, Zedaph?
Tango: Yup. Oh and Ren is with Doc.
Lizzie For fucks sake!!!
Joel: I kissed Jimmy!
Lizzie: Joel why?!
Joel: Just gonna add more to this. Also I love you!
Lizzie: *huffs* Love you too
Jimmy: Lizzie?
Lizzie: What now?
Jimmy: Well Joel and I were bad boys with Grian and he's with Scar who is dating Cub and Grian's also dating Mumbo who's with Iskall who is with both Beef and Stress I believe.
Lizzie: It never ends!!!!!!
Grian: I'm still with BigB who's with Ren~
Lizzie: GRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Scott: Martyn & I were the Mean Gills-
Lizzie: Stop adding more to this! Please!
Martyn: Don't forget Netty!
Lizzie: Martyn. I swear *sighs*
Grian: I did marry Taurtis-
Lizzie: I'm done. I'm officially done!
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maybe gem in 6 or 46? if you’re still doing the colour palette thing!
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I flipped a coin and got 6 so that means Pirate Gem (I don’t make the rules) ((I do make the rules))
And I’ll try to keep doing the palette challenge for as long as I get requests :)
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stardew valley au where joel and skizz are new residents to pelican town (hermit town?). joel just inherited a large farm from his late grandfather and skizz is moving in with his old friend after reconnecting with him and wanting a fresh start. and the townspeople are like, kinda weird.
bdubs is fine enough - he’s a sweet man with a fun personality and he’s the local builder, but it’s almost frightening how fast he constructs new buildings when joel needs them. pearl, their resident postmaster, is also pretty normal other than the fact that skizz never seems to be awake early enough to catch her delivering mail. scar is lovely but he’s never available when joel wants another chicken. the mayor, xisuma, is pleasant too, if a little eccentric at times, but he doesn’t really seem to do much in town.
for the most part, skizz is settling in well. he’s moved in with impulse, who runs the local blacksmith in town, and he gets along well with most of the local townspeople. he’s started spending his evenings at the local saloon listening to ren regale the patrons with fantastical tales while he and stress serve up food and drinks, and he finds himself growing close with cleo, the local sculptor. he even gets a new wardrobe from hypno free of charge, and sometimes helps cub out with his totally scientific studies and creations.
skizz also joins forces with beef (who helps to supply the local general store that xb and keralis run) in terrorising the local manager of the corporate chain grocery store that no one likes. doc is a terrible manager but would make a fun supervillain (according to joe hills, the bookseller who appears once in a blue moon but seems to know doc more than anyone in town).
joel, on the other hand, seems to only be interacting with the strangest residents in town. he discovers the adventurer’s guild after only a couple weeks, and is only somewhat irritated by iskall’s refusal to pronounce his name correctly. false promises to give him prizes if he can kill enough monsters, which is not something joel had expected to be doing when he pictured farm life, but here he is. he stumbles upon a travelling cart one day, and the man inside insists he’s a knight from a faraway land, that he risked his life to make it all the way here to sell his wares. it’s all stuff joel can get cheaper elsewhere.
he’s pretty sure the local doctor has no real medical training, but then he passes out while fighting monsters and he wakes up completely fine, so zedaph probably knows what he’s doing. maybe. when joel isn’t passing out he sometimes makes trips to the library-slash-museum, which is probably almost completely empty because mumbo, who begs joel for anything to display, looks like he’s never fought a duggie in his life. eventually mumbo gives joel a key to the sewers, which are way cooler than they have any right to be, and that’s where he finds jevin’s secret sewer shop. jevin lives in town. he just also has a shop hidden underground. joel has stopped asking questions by now.
and then there are the three who live by the beach. etho spends most of his time tinkering around the fishing hut or hovering around bdubs, but sometimes he drives the bus to the desert. only sometimes. there might be something under his mask. no one knows for sure. gem runs the fish shop most days and she claims she’s a sailor, but joel has never seen a single working boat around despite all the ocean. she can also hold her breath underwater for an uncannily long amount of time, like, scarily so, and will sometimes disappear for a few days and return with an abundance of treasures. joel has never seen her leave by boat. grian fishes a lot and runs the shop when gem can’t, and he sometimes talks as though the sea can speak to him. skizz has caught him staring into space for extended periods of time. one time he waded into the water and just stood there, head down, muttering to himself.
apparently there used to be a lighthouse but “it’s gone now”. gem says if they ask bdubs nicely enough maybe they can build another one, but she and grian are banned from build requests after the last incident with their pet snails (joel has never seen the snails, but scar complains about them enough to convince him they’re real).
there also might be some kind of wizard who lives in the creepy tower in the woods. skizz has heard he’s the one who helps maintain the power in the valley, and joel’s convinced he hallucinated seeing him once until he recieves a letter from the wizard himself, and visits him only to find that the strange fire-creature he saw that one time was, in fact, tango, who is human for the most part, he just sets himself on fire sometimes.
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this is genuinely making me lose it
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People appear to be turning slenders pink.
Would be a realllll shammmeee if someone pinkified me.
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BURNT my FUCKING POPCORN JOY is a SHAM
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I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either
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