captainfrickfrack

[captainfrickfrack]

[captainfrickfrack]

i’m a grower not a show-er what do this mean u might ask? means my peepee dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit bigger than your feet anyway the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “dam i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy” the downside? if i get pantsed in public i immediately have to start jacking off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone will think i’m packing chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me

[captainfrickfrack]

i’m sorry but this is the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all week

[captainfrickfrack]

Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story) canonically kins Buzz Lightyear from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command!

[captainfrickfrack]

i trust tumblr info more than i trust twitter info

[captainfrickfrack]

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

[captainfrickfrack]

you know that at least once, miroku and Inuyasha were given sake as payment for an extermination, and they left their braincell at home with Sango so they drank it all, but they’re both lightweight little bitches so they got absolutely smashed

and miroku sat there at one point like “oh no, it’ll make sango angry when I come home empty-handed”

cue Inuyasha, laying flat on his face on the floor, just snickering to himself out of the blue until it grows to the point that he can’t breathe he’s laughing so hard, and when miroku asks what’s so funny 

he just rolls over and says “sangry” 

followed by the both of them laughing like morons until they both pass out goodnight

[captainfrickfrack]

[captainfrickfrack]

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

[captainfrickfrack]

If homosexuality occurs naturally in almost all animals, you’ve probably seen a lesbian pigeon at some point.

[captainfrickfrack]

1) think about baseball stats 2)

think…

[captainfrickfrack]

anytime i find out one of my friends is into the same things as i am i mentally feel this image

[captainfrickfrack]

This is the funniest message I’ve ever gotten

[captainfrickfrack]

i can’t get angry at you, so i just get angry at me 

[captainfrickfrack]

I swear my cats have developed a division of labour when it comes to pestering me for stuff. One of them only bugs me about empty food bowls, and the other only bugs me about empty water bowls – never vice versa!

[captainfrickfrack]

Are they SURE they meant to write the word “ruined” instead of “liberated film from the stranglehold of?” Maybe their hand slipped??????????????????

[captainfrickfrack]

GUYS READ ALL OF THIS PLEASE PLEASE PL--