captainfrodoholmes

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who da ho?

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watching the rise in brit banter on tumblr like 

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Source More Ultrafacts

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Leonardo DiCaprio tried to make fun of his character with the line “I will just wait here”, when in fact that line wasn’t originally scripted. Everyone started laughing and James Cameron said that the line was “Too funny” to ignore it.

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since cheeky nandos has become popular here are some other pieces of british culture you should know: potato (in an irish accent) dick and dom the price of freddos the dfs sale fenton wagbo fork handles/four candles

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unacceptable pet names:

princess

sweetie

babe

acceptable pet names:

lad

cheeky

archbishop of banterbury

bantersaurus rex

absolute LAD

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British Lad Culture Translated

Cheeky Nando’s - spontaneous decision made by a group of British fuckboys to eat some grilled chicken

Banter - “witty” good-humoured, teasing jokes (please notice the word “witty” is used lightly)

Lad - basically a fuckboy

Ledge - shortened form of legend, son deserves your absolute respect

Shank - to stab

Shag - to have sex

Chunder - to upheave one’s inner contents, i.e. to vomit

Archbishop of Banterbury - deity of banter, the manifestation of banter in bodily form

Wanker - a term of endearment if you love someone you’ll tell them by calling them this

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British things

I see your memories and I raise you:

scoobies/scooby bracelets

“Get outta my pub!”

Howard from Halifax

the Cadbury’s Gorilla playing the drums

FUN HOUSE 

watching Bargain Hunt when you’re home sick

the lady who put her cat in the dustbin

THE SHINY SHOW!

the fucking eyebrow advert you all tried to copy don’t lie

Christmas day doctor who

Fort Boyard/The Crystal Maze/ *insert bizzare tv gameshow show here*

Olympics home pride back in 2012

Susan Boyle

wanting to go on Jungle Run

Whetherspoon’s having posh loo’s

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I’ve never been a big fan of Uptown Funk, but this mix with Seven Nation Army makes the whole song sound so… evil. I love it.

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I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.

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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same

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how am i suppose to tell someone how i feel when i can’t properly order a taco from taco bell without hyperventilating

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literally the tightest shit i have ever learned on this website is that when u spell the word “socks” out loud u are actually saying the spansih phrase “it is what it is”

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I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly. Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.