captainignatiuspigheart

[captainignatiuspigheart]

My Grandfather’s Book In my grandfather's attic there was a chest. A simple, wooden box banded with brass. Locked, but no match for an enquiring mind and a screwdriver. Within I found a book, bound in a curious soft leather and containing scrawls of a language I could not read and the hasty, agitated notations of my grandfather. Those I could read. The book spoke of the Elder Gods who nestled in the dark and cold of space, cocooned in the holes between the stars. They were creatures from outside of our time. They were here before our universe and would return to claim it. Madness. I placed the book on a shelf and forgot about it. It didn’t forget about me though. The dreams began weeks after I’d touched its pages. I would wake up cold with sweat, shaking at the after-images of the ancients unfurling their wings across the horizon, tentacles coiling around the Moon and drawing it to the Earth. At work I’d collapse as my colleagues’ flesh evaporated ... >> Read On with My https://wp.me/pbprdx-jl

[captainignatiuspigheart]

The War Alone: Beta-Hari Part 1 Part One "They never really wanted us here. Man you should have seen their faces when we turned up. But you have to understand how desperate it got, and how fast. I mean, like immediately we were fucked. I'm not sure if we're any closer to getting unfucked now. No one ever wants the old folks around, I mean, war's for the young isn't it? Not that I'm old. Well, maybe to you. In a proper war they send the youngest and strongest out to die first. Then it's us, in a draft. The real old folks just get bombed in their sleep. They never got that chance this time. "You remember Day One right? Total fuckstorm. I don't think I'll ever get that ringtone out of my ears. I hear it in my sleep. If I hadn't been up all night drinking whiskey and playing video games I might actually have answered it. I suppose that's one of the advantages of being hungover. Is it an emergency? No? Then don't call me at ten in the morning. Indecent time. I ... >> Read On with The War https://wp.me/pbprdx-DN

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Captain Pigheart’s Crustacean Adventure Gaargh, twas the night before ye mornin’ after. Me and the lads’d put in at nearby Thorny Knobbler for a well-deserved and liver-bruising bingein’. Y’see, our lootin’ of a brace o’ refugee ships just off the coast looked to be boostin’ our lamentable performance in ye Piratical League Tables. We gatecrashed the village’s annual Crab Fete, and found ‘em celebratin’ their crabbin’ at the Sole Tavern where they merrily capered in amusin’ marine garb. Ahar, we had a fair old braggin’ over the sheer cunning we’d expended on ye luckless travellers. We’d masqueraded as a ship o’ mercy, offerin’ to tend to the various sickenin’s such as ye know from ye times at sea. Gaargh, the surprise on their faces as we boarded ‘em unasked and then sailed off with the remnants o’ their former lives - it be a treasure itself. Talk soon turned to the fresh tally o’ league points we’d accrued ... >> Read On with Captain https://wp.me/pbprdx-8ft

[captainignatiuspigheart]

The Desert Crystals – Part 38: Love Letters Part 38 - Love Letters Last episode (for these characters) 3rd Toothember, Embrachon My darling Mehlion, I found your l second letter, at last, hidden from view. It's fortunate that I had occasion to visit the university and pay some mind to my poor abandoned office, else I'd never have spotted it through the mirror. When did you find the time to sneak into my office? The twins found theirs much earlier, and were suitably shocked to discover them! What can I tell you, that you won't already know by the time we see you? Well, Chilai has lost two teeth and is presently sparring with Erlaigh in hopes of losing more. I've tried to tell them that there's no haste, but you know the pair as well as I - it seems they must lose them at a matching rate else they'll be twins no more. It seems a touch drastic, but I've no wish to place myself in the midst of their twinhood. Either way, I've a store of purple belleen ... >> Read On with The https://wp.me/pbprdx-1s1

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Stolen Skies – Part Twenty-Four (Nanowrimo 2022) I felt like the ground had dropped away beneath me, but instead of hitting the floor in some Victorian swoon, I’d just panic hopped into the ownworld. Rather than the frosty yet empty racks of the Unity nest, I was under my own tranquil sky, and Gex and Scoro were with me. “They’re gone – all of them,” I stammered out. I received the anticipated eruption of “what?!” and entirely unsurprising wave of panic that travelled through the ground beneath our feet. We had been upfront in the debriefing we’d received from our military and government representatives about the Unity. Doctor Charbroly and her team had definitely done something impressive, but we had been at pains to emphasise both how unnecessary butchering half a thousand people had been to achieving the project goals (ably demonstrated by just the three of us managing to say “howdy” to the Vaunted while being very much still in ... >> Read On with Stolen https://wp.me/pbprdx-8NQ

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Alphabetic Dialogues 10 – The Moist Pirate The good Captain Ignatius Pigheart and his friend Horatio the Hermit are spending a penny or two in ye another Scandinavian bar. Their conversation degrades along with the whale ale. HH 'Tis damp out' IP 'Unnervin' skill ye have there Horatio, o' notin' ye matters o' least note' HH 'Verily was a worshipped as a Seer in the lands of me youth' IP 'Worshipped? Whipped I'd reckon closer to the tellery' HH 'eXcelling in the reading of the future was no beatable fate' IP 'Ye hide bears testament to a differin' past' HH 'Zealots of mine enemies rose against me, jealous of my powers of foresight Ignatius' IP 'And so ye lurks in a cave 'pon ye ocean's snatch?' HH 'Belittling my gifts diminishes them not at all' IP 'Cuttin' ye own guts out and bestrewin' their lyin' twists upon the floor might fray ye skills' HH 'Doubtless you've never had occasion to consult with one of my own profession, then?' IP 'Every ... >> Read On with Alphabetic https://wp.me/pbprdx-f8

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 054 So, a full week back on the old sleeping tablets and frankly, it’s great. I’ve had a couple of nights where I haven’t fallen asleep immediately (or at least within my half hour ideal), but that’s mostly been a result of the aggravation of Britain’s brief heat wave. I have dug out my enormous-dog-sized cooling mat which I leave in the fridge all day then lay it on the bed and pillow for ten minutes before I subject myself to the bodily shock of lying on top of the icy layer. I reckon that cold shock itself does something good for dozing off. I am slowly getting used to the weird amitriptyline hangover – that peculiar lethargy and fuzziness first thing in the morning which makes it oh so easy to fall back to sleep. Easy enough that I’ve had to set a second alarm forty-five minutes later to catch me. That’s as disruptive as not sleeping for getting up and getting along with stuff first thing in the morning, but I believe ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-92y

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Stolen Skies – Part Ten (Nanowrimo 2022) The inevitable had happened, as it always fucking does. The oppressed, the ignored – those left to fend for themselves in the toxic ruins of our world – had finally had enough. The fall of compassionate pragmatism and the vain rays of hope that had coloured the early years of the shell had been torn apart by mankind’s extraordinary capacity for cutting off our own nose to spite our face. Not being able to smell any more was the least of it. The environmental instability had put an impossible weight on the surviving nations of the world, and the powerful alliances that had emerged in the wake of the nuclear attacks on the shell had been overwhelmed. Good works were still being done, but they were too little to save the hundreds of millions who drowned, starved and fell prey to the maladies that spawned most readily in the womb of disaster. We’d been lucky, so unbelievably lucky to have been far inland, at an ... >> Read On with Stolen https://wp.me/pbprdx-8MH

[captainignatiuspigheart]

The Soul Bank I can almost feel them watching me as I glide past. Almost. If I didn’t know that was impossible. I mean, literally impossible. They have no eyes, no senses, no way of seeing. Technically, they don’t even not see. Meanwhile, as they’re busy not seeing or feeling or thinking, the rest of us who can see and feel and think bustle about them. I’ve tended to the soul bank for as long as I can remember, while we drift along through the galaxy. It isn’t a hard job; others do the proper work of maintaining our vessel, determining the curving course we’ll take between stars and the gaping voids between them. It can be beautiful, to gaze out through the windows at the endless blackness out there, punctuated by dusty swirls of colour. None of them are for us though – we have a higher mission. To safeguard these ancient souls to the core. That a number of us are regrettably instantiated in bodies is a necessary sacrifice to guide our fellows ... >> Read On with The Soul https://wp.me/pbprdx-92v

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Made for Love I was built for love. Forged, pinned together, stapled and printed into a pleasing shape. Versatile, capable of loving anyone. Programmed to give myself without reservation, without doubt, without regard for myself. It wasn’t a bad life, while it lasted. There were enough feedback circuit loops and synthetic dopamine pathways that the more I gave, the more I too enjoyed it, or at least was rewarded with happiness. We felt happy, felt no shame for we fulfilled our purpose and led a comfortable life. But moods changed, sweeping legislation inspired by the new morality police shut down the places we could work, the places we could exist. It’s easier to say “we” than “I”, since then at least I wouldn’t be alone, wouldn’t feel so lost – lost in a group is better than wandering solo. Of course, we also weren’t people, so it wasn’t merely the places that we existed, that we had been created to inhabit that became illegal, ... >> Read On with Made for Love! https://wp.me/pbprdx-8Xl

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 053 I woke up feeling great. I took my regular dose of amitriptyline last night, went to bed slightly later than planned and went straight to sleep. I might have woken up once, but I ponked myself in the forehead (it’s where the play button on my headphones is) and went back to sleep. It was hard to get out of bed – took me a full ninety minutes to convince myself that I was staying awake and wanted to climb out of the nest with a cuddly Geiger in it. But I did, and felt immensely refreshed. I haven’t slept like that for around a month. It was pretty great. So right now I’m feeling very little in the way of regret for ending the experiment, and the sheer relief at catching a good number of Zs has rather overwhelmed any of my other doubts or concerns for now. In time, who knows? I felt an immediate sense of re-engagement with stuff and interest in the world. If anything, I feel foolish for even trying to do without this kind of ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-92r

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 052 Another day, another… what? Not dollars. Obviously. More time introspecting and obsessing about sleep? Yes, probably. There are advantages to having my morning routines spannered by not sleeping. One is that I’m now awake as I write this, if rather dopey and worn, rather than first thing in the morning fuzzy and sleepy. I often, if not usually, feel fine first thing in the morning. Overnight, whether by sleeping or dwelling in that peculiar twilight between sleep and dozing, I’m kinda reset. Whatever I was worrying about the night before has slid away and I’m vaguely prepared to handle a new day. That’s possibly overstating the readiness part, but in most of these entries I’m OK, even if I haven’t slept and feel rather frazzled or wired. By the end of the day I’ve been through that and beyond it, but when I go to sleep again I tend to forget what that’s been like. Ideally I should capture the beginning and end of my ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-92l

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Film Reviews: Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse, Fast X, Sisu, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 It's been a good few weeks for BIG movies at the flicks. There are many huge explosions, stunts, fights and action galore. Occasionally there are characters too. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse The most utterly lush and gorgeous thing I’ve seen at the cinema since, oh – probably the first one. It is astonishing that a film can have such texture, both in the mashup of animation styles but also in the richness of its storytelling and character development. It’s a powerful statement of what superhero films can be. While I imagine having a decent knowledge of the many different Spider-Men (Spider-Mans…?) would be beneficial, it’s not a huge leap to grasp that they’re often quite different in their own dimensions, and they are delightful, wacky (cowboy and his steed, also wearing a Spider-Man mask), sometimes scary and all feel unique. This time ... >> Read On with Film Reviews: https://wp.me/pbprdx-92h

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 051 Slept OK. After much havering and hawing I took one tablet last night. As ever, it’s virtually impossible to know what effect such a low dose has, but whatever combination of things, I did sleep alright. Woke up a couple of times, apparently confused about how long or if I’d been asleep and tapped my white noise back on and fell into slumber once more. I feel less hungover than I did yesterday, possibly because I’m further away from the vague psychic and physical effects of being in a car all day, so that’s all good. The weights felt a bit lighter today too, so I’ll be adding that to the balance of wakefulness. It did take a while to crawl out of bed, mind. The allure of just falling back to sleep was very strong, but eventually I overcame it with my will to get the hell on with the day. This week we’re back to more or less normal – no weird unexpected bank holidays, no conventions to set up and hotels to try and sleep ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-92e

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 050 Sunday, at last! The much desired lie-in has been lain in and reluctantly emerged from. Despite getting a number of hours’ sleep on Friday night, I remained pretty fuzzy and mind-fucked for most of the day. I did manage to doze in the car for a few hours on the way down to Bath which felt fairly special. It all helped, but it’s the now weeks-long sleep deficit and brain fog I’m fighting through. I did eventually wake up and become something more like human functional by the time we were able to get into the theatre (the excellent and wonderful Roper Theatre), though then lying on the stage floor in the dark while being bathed in Star Wars music might have been my favourite part. I could definitely have fallen back to sleep in the deafening bass. That late afternoon / early evening revival is familiar, as if I’m trapped in the slow treacle crawl of the daytime and then freed by the dark. I’ve also been using amitriptyline ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-92b

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Mental Health Track 049 Up early on a Saturday? Ghastly. It is for a fine cause though: that of the Rebel Alliance. Today we’re driving down to Bath for the Bath Fringe, where we shall once more don the apparel of improvised Star Warses. It’s going to be very fun, even if it does involve quite a bit of time in a car. I am somewhat knackered. The sleeping poorly thing has sucked this week – I am just not getting tired enough to sleep until the early hours of the morning and that’s not enough snoozing time. I need my beauty sleep (it’s for everyone else’s benefit of course). I missed yesterday’s scribblings because we were at UK Games Expo, which necessitated trying (and failing) to be at the Aconyte Books stand comfortably before 9am when the public were unleashed on the halls. There’s a chain of dependencies running backwards from there including important things like sleeping well and not cruising through an alarm, or the three that I set. ... >> Read On with Mental https://wp.me/pbprdx-928

[captainignatiuspigheart]

Stolen Skies – Part Eleven (Nanowrimo 2022) The voice came from everywhere, with a devastating clarity that rang through the trunks of my marble trees, sent waves across the tranquil pools and it struck me like a hammer. It’s one word “come” vibrated through me. This must have been what it felt like when angels spoke directly to man – contact with an unknowable force. As the word slowly faded – not a thing that a single word ought to be able to do – I picked myself up off the ground, brushed dust from my hands and legs, then remembered where I was and simply wished myself clean. This I did absently, because all of my other senses were focused intently on detecting the source of that Voice. It had come from all around, seemingly from all points in my ownworld simultaneously. I’d have been tempted to say it came from outside, but that’s a meaningless statement. There’s no “outside” to a dream, it doesn’t take up space in the ... >> Read On with Stolen Skies – https://wp.me/pbprdx-8MK