captainjacksparkles

[captainjacksparkles]

why do they let the worlds most boring people direct movies

[captainjacksparkles]

thanks for making me this hot tea bro. Why did the steam make the shape of a skull and crossbones when you stirred it lol

[captainjacksparkles]

POV you’re the king and i just made an inappropriate joke about your virility in front of the whole royal court and you want to punish me but you can’t react in anger lest the court think my joke is true

[captainjacksparkles]

"Listeners, I do not know everything about Carlos and he does not tell me everything. That is okay. We are not one person. How lonely that would be - a couple who has made themselves one so completely, that they are once again alone."

podcasts really be out there trying to make me cry, huh? to make my heart be full of love? fuck you. i love you.

[captainjacksparkles]

unironically people need to learn to say “they haven’t done anything wrong i just find them annoying”

[captainjacksparkles]

[captainjacksparkles]

[captainjacksparkles]

meditating for 72 days under a waterfall and emerging with the perfect and correct leftist gun opinion

[captainjacksparkles]

You know the Utgard Castle arc is so much fucking funnier the second time round because you get to realise that the horror on Reiner and bertoldts face isn't because they just saw a massive hairy titan, it's because they just saw their fucking boss come to do their mission for them because they took too long and now they're in deep shit.

[captainjacksparkles]

OVER THE WALL MARIA.

[captainjacksparkles]

The Garden | © ThisUserIsAngry

[captainjacksparkles]

Murder rug.

via gothic home decor enthusiasts

[captainjacksparkles]

[captainjacksparkles]

BARBIE (2023) Teaser Trailer Dir. Greta Gerwig

[captainjacksparkles]

floch forgot abt eren for a hot second there

cant blame him

[captainjacksparkles]

[captainjacksparkles]