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chanfictions · 1 year

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Sunshine

Jiraiya x Reader

Comfort drabble - no warnings. Just seasonal depression rearing its ugly head.

She's still in bed. Jiraiya frowned dejectedly as he stood in the doorway of your shared bedroom, apron still damp with the spilled, near-disaster that he had salvaged into breakfast this morning. He lifted it over his wild, white mane to hang on the wall, inhaling the scent of eggs and toast that wafted through your home before he exhaled with a sigh. He had hoped the aroma of his cooking that you always fawned over would be enough to lure you out of the blanketed cocoon of your depression nest, though it seemed that this time, he had no such luck. You just laid there in the dark, curled around his pillow with your back to the door, entirely motionless aside from the slow rise and fall of your side that followed the pattern of your breathing.

"Sweetheart," his low, melodic voice cut through the mire of stale silence that hung heavily in the room as he sat down on your side of the bed, reaching forward to brush a few stray hairs away from your face. It was a plea, a prayer for you to show him the light in your eyes again. It had been days since he last managed to coax you out of that bed for more than a bathroom break. It was always the same story when this time of year rolled around. The sun took your happiness along with the change of seasons as the days grew shorter and nights stung with a lonesome chill. It crushed you every year, and this one was no different. "I made breakfast," he smiled at you softly, gently brushing his knuckles against your cheek until you finally gazed up at him.

"Not hungry," you hid your face again and mumbled into his pillow. You wanted nothing more than to be left to stew in the soul-crushing melancholy that had devoured your entire self, but the warmth of his hand caressing your cheek made being awake seem less dismal. Your stomach betrayed you, however, protesting with a rolling creak.

With a quiet hum, Jiraiya dug into the shell of blankets encasing you and extracted your exhausted body from the mess, pulling your tangle of limbs outfitted in one of his pajama shirts and an ill-fitting pair of pants onto his lap. "Don't lie to me," he said while resting his chin on you, having replaced your blanket cocoon with his arms. "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks." He spoke with a gentle tone, far from being accusatory as he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I just want to sleep." Your tired voice was muffled by his shirt as you cuddled against the wall of warmth that was his chest.

Jiraiya gazed down at you, seeming a bit torn. It killed him to see you like this. An invisible enemy that couldn’t be slain had destroyed you and left him with nothing but your shell. He tightened his hold on you for a moment in a firm, comforting hug before trying again. "Breakfast first," he stated more firmly before melting into a more tempting tone. "I made your favorite..."

You tilted your head back to gaze up at the man who would still bring down the moon for you despite the cyclical darkness that drowned you seasonally, the slightest glimmer of light shining in your eyes "You didn't have to."

With a small swelling of triumph in his chest, he cupped your cheek and kissed your forehead sweetly before resting his against yours with a gentle smile. "Anything for you, sunshine."

#shameless self reblog #here we go again

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chanfictions · 1 year

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Hello winter, my old nemesis. The sunshine is gone and took all of my joy with it. Back to sleeping 16 hours a day, dreaming of a different life. I knew the summer was too good to be true. The familiar, suffocating wrap of the cold, dark cloud that is depression is creeping in around me again. I can feel it breathing down the back of my neck, whispering its siren song of nihilistic melancholy in my ear.

There is no point, to anything, my dear.

Ugh.

#chanfictions updates #chanfictions.depressionthoughts

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chanfictions · 1 year

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This update has been brought to you by whiskey, bubble baths, and my filthy, filthy mind.

Sorry for being absent as of late. I've been living my best life and enjoying the metaphorical sunshine while I can since my crazy brain has actually been cooperating lately. Because of that, I haven't been writing much and have been instead acting out some of my most lecherous work in real life 🙃. It's only giving me more ideas for Count.

But I'm still here! I'll have updates eventually, I promise. Thank you for sticking with me through the quiet period. Love you all!

#chanfictions updates

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chanfictions · 2 years

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What are some real life things to have been exciting you lately? I am glad to hear you sound happy. :)

This may be sliiiiiightly oversharing, but I've had the amazing privilege of indulging my crazy kinks to the point that reality is better than fantasy, so I haven't been as inclined to write about them. Seriously, have open conversations with your partner(s) about the things that make you flustered and squeaky. I finally ripped off the bandaid and admitted out loud what happens in my daydreams... and hoooooboy. What a difference that made.

On top of that, I've been feeling more human on this new cocktail of meds, so I actually leave the house now without being dragged. I got my motorcycle endorsement and have been thoroughly enjoying 40mph feeling crazy fast. Your whole perception of speed changes so much when there's no metal box between you and the outside world. It's awesome.

So yeah, things have been going well. ❤️

#chanswers #chanfictions updates

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chanfictions · 2 years

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Probably taking an extended break again. I just haven't had it in me to write. Life has been too busy and exciting for me to get lost in daydreams like before.

I'll be back eventually ❤️

#chanfictions updates

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chanfictions · 2 years

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Fog

Kakashi x Reader

Warnings: Angst, loss, survivor's guilt.

1.9k

"I'm just tired."

The words left your lips in an unconvincing drawl as you dragged your fingers through your unkempt hair. Sitting on the edge of your mess of tousled blankets and tangled sheets, your eyes drifted slowly through the flecks of dust suspended in the waning rays of midday sun. For the third time in as many days, Kakashi stopped by your apartment to check on you when you hadn't shown up to work, and for the third time, that same empty lie fell upon his ears.

I'm just tired.

It didn't take the keenness of his sharingan to see through your deception. Your body language told your unwilling truths for you. Rigid, drawn shoulders tensed by a restless paranoia, darkness rimming eyes plagued by countless sleepless nights, the fire in your voice, gone. You were gone. After having barely returned, the only bloodied survivor of your last big mission, it seemed that you left part of your soul behind on the battlefield amongst the sea of corpses.

"I think it's time for you to come for a walk with me," his soft voice hummed into your head from your doorway where he stood with loosely crossed arms, casually observing the way your silhouette shrank at the mere mention of leaving this room behind.

"Not today, Kakashi," you mumbled quietly, tangling your fingers around the back of your neck.

"You've been holed up in here for over a week."

"One more day won't hurt," you whispered to the sheets.

The light footsteps behind you sent a wave of bristling tension through your bones. As a gentle hand came to rest upon your shoulder, you recoiled from the touch like it was laced with blistering acid, lurching away from what normally would have been a welcomed gesture. "You're not just tired." A single, dark iris gazed at you critically, mired in a sea of worry as he watched you whither from his hand. The dirty bandages coiled around your limbs and your inability to tolerate human contact since your return were now things he could no longer ignore. "Kitten, you need help," his tone softened as he took a seat beside you on your chaotic nest of bedding, never breaking his gaze from your stiffened stance. "Let me help you." It was a plea, a prayer that he might find you in the thick fog that deadened the light in your eyes.

"I'm fine."

"When did you last change your bandages?" He inquired in that frustratingly cool tone, pausing to allow you time to answer before continuing when he was met with nothing but stale silence. "When did you last eat? Or leave this room for that matter, hm?" The interrogation continued, though it was hardly accusatory, as Kakashi only sought to make a point. You were anything but fine.

You stared blankly at the soiled ribbons encasing your exposed forearms and calves, seeing through the dirty swaths of cloth and into the bloodbath that led to your needing them in the first place -- the death, the carnage, the brutality that you were somehow fated to survive. But not them. Not your teammates. Not the friends you grew up training with, no. You. Just you. "Doesn't matter," you finally answered, voice dry and cracking as those fatigued chords strained to vibrate.

The soft admission of defeat that fell from your lips burned bitterly at Kakashi's heart. He had been where you were. He had lost comrades, blaming himself for deaths despite having no power to have prevented them himself. He had swallowed the poisonous pill of self-loathing just as you had, but that didn't make watching you crumble any less devastating. With a soft sigh, he rose to his feet, staring down at the sullen face so unwilling to meet his gaze for a moment before quietly walking away, slipping down the hall and into your bathroom. There wasn't anything he could say that would lift the weight of their deaths from your shoulders. All he could do was convince you to care for your mortal shell until the pain strangling your heart became more tolerable with the passage of time.

"I think I'm going to resign," you muttered in a broken monotone when Kakashi took a seat next to you again, eyes focused dimly on the floor in front of you.

"Let's worry about that after your leave of absence," Kakashi stated smoothly, clearing away the tangle of sheets and setting down a pile of first aid supplies on your bed. When your tired eyes fell upon his questioningly, he gently took one of your arms, beginning to uncoil the sticky cloth that clung to your skin. "I already spoke to your superiors this morning. They don't need you at a desk pushing papers. There's no need to concern yourself about work right now."

"Thanks." Your voice left your lips in a raspy whisper, interrupted by your breath catching in your throat with a pained hiss when the old bandages clung to the cruddy stitches littering your arms.

"You really let these go," he lamented, gently smoothing his thumb over the hot, pulsing flesh strung together by thin threads. His eyes drifted up your battered arm to your unkempt hair as he unraveled the rest of the bandages with the same care.

"I know," you mumbled.

Without further comment on the subject, he gently cleaned the wounds and meticulously re-wrapped each limb with soft, fresh lengths of cloth as he continued to talk in the smooth, cool tone that you always found so reassuring. "Let me see that one on your back."

"Kakashi--"

"I'm not going to pretend it isn't there, nor am I going to just take your shirt off when you're already so wary," he spoke in a firm, yet gentle cantor. "I know how badly that mission went. I know you attacked the first medic at the hospital who tried to help you after you woke up. Your mind is still on the battlefield. You're seeing threats everywhere."

"Sorry, I--"

"No need to apologize. I've been where you are. I get it." There were no hard feelings or judgements, only an empathetic hand clasping over yours. With a reluctant sigh, you twisted sideways and slowly rolled the back of your shirt up, revealing the massive, covered slice spanning across your upper back that you earned when trying to shield a fallen teammate from an enemy's attack. Kakashi moved slowly after you flinched at the sound of his initial motion, sliding his warm palm up the length of your spine before peeling up the edges of tape holding the bandage in place and applying a new cover to the unsightly wound. "Have you been sleeping?"

"Not really," you admitted. "Every time the neighbors close a door, I'm wide awake and can't settle back down."

"Well, I have the next few days off. I can stay a while, or you can come to my place. My neighbors are delightfully quiet," he suggested casually, tugging the back of your shirt back down and sliding his hand back onto your shoulder.

"Not sure I'm ready to show my face around town just yet," you breathed into your palms as you hunched forward again, beginning to lose yourself in the foggy echoes of memory that clawed at the edges of your thoughts.

"Well, then I suppose you're going to have a roommate for the next few days," Kakashi teased lightly.

"I think I'm okay with that," you said quietly, shifting where you sat until Kakashi's arm curled around your shoulders, relenting and leaning into the hug he had been saving for when you were finally ready to accept it.

"Good. Then as your new roommate, my first demand is that we do something about the state of this bed," he hummed with an easy smile playing beneath his mask, eliciting a weak laugh from you, as you had left your bedding in an utter state of disarray. "Tell you what. I'll get this mess tidied up while you find yourself some clean clothes."

With a sigh of defeat, you turned your head against his shoulder. "You're relentless."

"I've been called worse," he chuckled, combing his fingers through your hair, smoothing the frazzled edges down before planting a kiss on the crown of your head.

A pained groan rattled in your chest. Moving required so much effort, and all you wanted to do was crawl back into a hole in the ground. "You're going to drag me out of bed if I protest, aren't you." It was less of a question and more a statement of what you knew to already be true.

"That I will," Kakashi smiled while continuing to run his hand over your disheveled tangles.

With another defeated sigh, you heaved yourself onto your feet, shuffling on tired, heavy legs down the hall to get yourself cleaned up enough to satisfy his demands. Standing in front of your mirror in the bathroom, you gripped the edge of the sink with blanching knuckles as the water ran, staring into the drain and losing yourself in the gurgles of the pipes for a few long moments until Kakashi's voice cut through the whirling mist in your head again with an inquiry as to what you wanted to eat. Cupping your shaking palms under the water, you rasped a reply, not particularly caring one way or the other as you brought the cool liquid to your face.

I'm so fucking tired.

Your eyes said as much as your reflection stared ruefully back at you. The clamor coming from your kitchen told you Kakashi had already decided what was for lunch. Drying your face and twisting the taps, you smoothed your damp palms over your shirt a few times before digging through the basket of clean clothes you had been neglecting and getting changed. Your footsteps echoed softly with a quiet pat, pat, pat as you made your way back to the bedroom, where you found a plate with a sandwich sitting on your nightstand and fresh linens tucked around your bed. No more words were exchanged outside of a crackling murmur of thanks as Kakashi moved about the room, rolling up the discarded sheets as you sat down and reluctantly picked up the sandwich, contemplating the cruelties of life as you took a bite and stared silently into a shadowed corner. The heavy haze of guilt settled around your shoulders as you slipped into the depths of self-condemnation.

Kakashi watched from the other side of the room as your eyes fogged over with the thick mist of loss clinging to your heavy lashes. A deep sorrow clung about you like acrid smoke that no amount of conversation would be able to lift. Instead, he simply sat beside you again and settled a strong arm around your back when the facade finally cracked, pulling you firmly against his chest when the floodgates gave way, and your frustrations manifested with hot tears and shaking shoulders.

Why did I survive and not them?

He knew that's what you were screaming into the void inside of your head, as the same words had fallen from his own tongue in the wake of battles past. Nothing else needed to be said, as no amount of assurances from him that you had done everything you could would relieve you of your guilt. Instead, he just dragged you into a warm embrace, curling himself around your battered body atop the newly changed bedding to share the burden of a shinobi's fate until the fog of shame and regret dissipated with time.

#shameless self reblog #kakashi x reader

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chanfictions · 2 years

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I am already getting frustrated with these labels. I try to edit a reblogged post to flag it correctly, and it doesn't save. Then I get notifications that Tumblr has flagged posts as being (rightly) mature content and lableled them for me.

I didn't think these were going to be retroactive, but I guess it makes sense. But now, I have to fight with their mobile site to do it myself. Yes, I could use desktop, but I prefer doing everything on my phone. I write all of my fanfiction on my phone and post with it. I shouldn't have to use a desktop to get a core feature of a website to work.

Ugh.

#chanfictions rants

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chanfictions · 2 years

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IMPORTANT: TUMBLR & FANFICTION

Alright kids, listen up because @staff have pulled off a corker of a hot mess and have decided to add "Community Labels". I guess they've decided we can't be trusted to add our own warnings and people can't make sensible choices with what they engage with.

But why does it matter to me?

Tumblr have made labels AN OPT IN SITUATION which means every single blog here is automatically set to hide any triggering content

If you want to continue to be able to access and read fanfiction PLEASE go into your settings and click "show" on at least the "Mature" and "Sexual Themes" labels!!

ALSO IOS USERS: there's an extra fun "Hide additional content" bit just to really try and block us from any hopes of success. Make sure you opt out of that too otherwise I think content will be blocked on the mobile app!

Attached to this post are screenshots from my settings so you guys know what to look for. I could only find it on my desktop settings and not on the mobile app (for now at least)qq

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chanfictions · 2 years

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Friendly reminder that community labels are now a thing, so check your settings! I will be flagging my self reblogs and new posts accordingly.

#chanfictions updates

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chanfictions · 2 years

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My brain is still on vacation with Jiraiya after that fun little beach fluff piece I wrote. I needed to get this out of my system before my head exploded. This is kind of a follow up to A Perfect Day, but you don't have to read it first to enjoy this little nugget.

Good Morning

Jiraiya x Reader

18+ Content - Minors, DNI!

Warnings: Somnophilia (male sleeping), oral (male receiving) - just some steamy, morning fun

.9k

"Jiraiya."

His name floated from your lips in a soft, melodic whisper as the warmth of the early morning sun filtered quietly through the windows of the bedroom. A pleasant, salty breeze ruffled the curtains, bringing with it the gentle sounds of the nearby ocean. After spending the previous day on the beach, you were both decidedly in need of a nice, comfortable bed as well as an appropriate location to fulfill teasing promises made upon the sands, prompting the renting of the room you currently inhabited.

With a grumbling groan, Jiraiya stretched, tiredly mumbling nonsense as he turned his face away from the light, lazily throwing an arm over your body. His wild, white mane fanned out around his head, shrouding much of the surface of the pillow you had shared through the night. A coy smile curled on your lips as you brushed a few stray locks away from his still sleeping face after gently shifting out from under the weight of the muscular limb draped over you. "Jiraaaaiiiyaaa," you sang softly into his ear, leaving a flutter of light kisses along his jaw.

He answered with another quiet grunt, but there was no sign of wakefulness from your lovely sannin.

With a musical hum, you trailed your fingertips along his bare chest, slowly walking the landscape of muscle and scars with nothing but admiration for the man at your side. A low sound of contentment rumbled in his throat in response to your touch, fueling the smile still perched upon your lips to widen mischievously. Carefully moving from your spot, you slowly crawled over him, straddling his hips and stifling a giggle at the fact that he had sprawled himself over much of the bed, leading to your needing to practically sleep on top of him last night. Wearing nothing but his shirt, you settled yourself happily over the growing bulge in his boxers as you leaned forward to place delicate kisses upon your lover's neck. "Master Jiraiya," you purred. "You said you wanted to get up early today."

"Hnnng… five more minutes."

Smirking, you carefully ghosted your hands down his chest, slowly exploring the ridges of his abdomen with a feather-light touch, eventually sliding yourself backwards a bit to expose the crux of your plan. With a soft roll of your hips, you watched his face twitch as a blissful sound escaped his lips on a quiet sigh. Deviance swelled in your chest as your hands played oh-so-carefully over the tented fabric of his boxers, gently coaxing your prize out of the slit down the middle. His thick, meaty cock proudly sprang free from its confines into a hand that could hardly encircle its girth. You gave the warm shaft a slow, languid rub with your palm, brushing your thumb over the tip while listening to the symphony of content sounds groaning their way out of Jiraiya's chest. He just looked so delicious like this, half asleep and all but putty in your hands, you simply couldn't resist. Besides, this was one of his favorite ways of waking you up at home -- melting you into an orgasm-drunk puddle before you even had the chance to drink your coffee. You smirked wickedly. Fair is fair.

With a playful sound breezing through your teeth, you shimmied back to give yourself space, splaying over his legs as you leisurely traced your tongue along the underside of his massive morning greeting, relishing the way it twitched in your grip. Much to your delight, Jiraiya's breath stuttered softly in his half-asleep state as you took his broad, blushing tip into your mouth. Giggling quietly, you swallowed as much of the length as you could manage, savoring the slightly salty taste playing upon your tongue.

"Mmmm," Jiraiya hummed, hips subtly arching into your mouth, shifting somnolently upon the sheets as his hand came to find your head.

Eyeing his seemingly still sleeping face, you smiled around him, swirling your tongue in a manner that had him groaning and tightening his fingers in your hair. Grasping the base to compensate for your inability to swallow his cock in its entirety at this angle, you bobbed your head slowly, taking in his euphoric expression with immense satisfaction before getting back to your mission.

Jiraiya grunted your name quietly, biting his lip and exhaling heavily.

With an amused quirk of your lips, you let the tip dramatically pop out of your mouth as you sat up slightly, innocently nuzzling your cheek into the warmth of his palm. "Mmmm, yes?"

A deep rumble rolled in his chest as his large hand softly cupped your chin, gently guiding you forward until you were nearly face to face. Half-lidded eyes met yours with a brooding crinkle of mischief tugging at their corners. Warm, strong arms closed around your body as he suddenly rolled over with you, leaving you squeaking in delight as he pinned you to the bed beneath him and you felt his heavy, aching arousal press impatiently against your bare heat. Jiraiya growled a soft, "Good morning," against your parted lips with a sultry smile and a promise of sweet retaliation gleaming on his face.

Giggling and catching your lip between your teeth, you gazed up at the adoring man looming so wolfishly above you and echoed his greeting back at him with a sparkle of excitement lighting up your features.

It was about to be a great morning, indeed.

#shameless self reblog #my brain is full of fluff #I just can't seem to figure out how to write lately

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