charlotte-sea

[charlotte-sea]

Living with a chronic illness has made me develop a mix of a wistful way of looking at life itself at the same time I have a whimsy feeling about surviving despite of my condition which is something that still makes me look at the world with wonder.

Yes, I do struggle with a lot problems that a lot of people my age don’t, and yes, I have suffered way too much from my illness. But I still have hope. And I still keep going, even when things are hard, despite how difficult it can be to accept the fact that I will have to be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I am well aware of all the challenges of living with a chronic illness when the world is not always welcoming to people who have disabilities. But I’m going to keep going. Despite the pain, despite cruelty, despite the differences that sometimes made me feel isolated. I’m still fighting. I’m still here. I’m still alive in the face of everything, and it’s very exhausting to keep trying, but I am here. And life itself can be so beautiful even when I’m in pain. Those two things can and do coexist. And surviving so much it’s a statement that my body might be different, but I can be strong in other ways.

So if you’re dealing with a chronic illness, I’m telling you I am so glad you’re in this world and that being different does not make you any less worthy of being here, of taking space, and that you deserve happiness. And that happiness is not something you have to earn by enduring pain and pushing yourself past your breaking point, but because you’re just as human as everyone else, and as equally valuable.

[charlotte-sea]

@sherman8r1138 I have the 2nd orange one.

I drew cats from stardew valley :D

[charlotte-sea]

i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.

when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.

maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.

is that magic??

honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.

[charlotte-sea]

So the "food" that the US dropped to Gaza is MREs. Expired. Saw a stitch of this video from a woman saying this is the same thing they did with Hurricane Katrina survivors.

MREs are shelf stable for 7 years. Total. These ones were over 15 years old.

And ofc there were people in the comments being like "ummm well our military eats them just fine, they were expired when I was in the army too" THATS NOT OKAY THO?? NO ONE SHOULD BE FORCED TO EAT EXPIRED FOOD!

Fuck the US, fuck the Israeli government, and fuck you if you think that this is any kind of help to the people of Gaza. They're starving to death and the US is sending expired applesauce while also giving bombs to their murderers.

[charlotte-sea]

a late entry, but heavy contender for tik tok of the year

[charlotte-sea]

I need. NEED. ppl to understand that whiteness as a concept has varied across time and place throughout history and is not a universal constant. a person can be fully white in one place and not white or conditionally white in another. a family can be considered white in the present day while their ancestors were subject to white supremacist oppression. you have GOT to stop thinking of whiteness as something intrinsic.

[charlotte-sea]

[charlotte-sea]

i have never felt as mature as when i finally understood (through therapy) and internalized (through emotional work) that you cannot connect and communicate with some people no matter how kind, compassionate, understanding, articulate, eloquent, or smart you are, and that sometimes a person not listening to you does not reflect on your communication skills or ability to connect or straight up intelligence. in a way, it’s letting go of the belief that you have the power to make people understand you. communication is a two-way street, and needs two willing participants. some people are just walls, and it has been unbelievably helpful for my mental and emotional health to let it slide and know that it does not affect me or my self worth. 

[charlotte-sea]

@sherman8r1138 ❤️

one important thing that Must be understood about interpersonal relationships is that you have to stop interacting with people who love you like they’re one slip-up away from leaving you. you have to trust that the ppl you love mean what they say. you have to believe that when they say “this hurt my feelings,” that they’re also saying, “can you please love me this other way next time?” and you have to wrap your head around the fact that even if you don’t understand Why someone loves you, you can accept that that they do. true, honest, & open love does not function like hp in a video game !!!!!!

[charlotte-sea]

Psst. Hey. You're stuck because you're scared. You already know what to do, that's the easy part. The hard part is finding the courage to set those boundaries in an environment you know is gonna do everything in its power to keep you silent. The hard part is cutting that person off because you love them but you know you're dying inside with each day that passes. The scary part is sitting alone with yourself through this new and uncomfortable change that you are purposefully causing the waters to ripple. But here's what you need to remember, you're doing this because it hurts too much to stand still. Make those waves baby you will be fine through this change. Better than fine actually. Your heart and soul will feel more alive than you have ever felt in your entire life. That alone will be enough to carry you through.

[charlotte-sea]

We all know hurt people hurt other people. But your trauma, your anxiety, your fear, your mental illness does not give you a pass on being hateful towards other people, especially when they have clearly communicated boundaries and stated how you are making them feel. What happened to you was unfair, but it won't heal unless you face it directly and learn to let go of all this rage, instead of lashing out on the wrong people. You don't get to abuse others because you were abused, you don't have the right to infringe on their boundaries, you don't have the right to be so hateful towards someone who never hurt you, even though you are struggling yourself. Everyone is struggling, and everyone has their own limitations.

Your feelings are valid, your desires, your rage, but they are not facts, and they don't give you control over other people and excuses when you become toxic to others. Don't infantilize your own behavior as that of someone who cannot stop themselves to excuse the same behavior your abuser had towards you when boundaries were communicated, which you understood and infringed them anyway, lashed out anyway, and ended up repeating the cycle of abuse over and over.

Your rage over what happened to you is valid, but traumatizing other people because you are hurting yourself is just repeating the cycle. Sometimes, we are the ones in the wrong, and we need to take accountability on the fact that we can be toxic so we can face our own hurt, our own relationship problems, and start healing from all this pain instead of directing them to other people who had nothing to do with it in the first place.

Boundaries are boundaries, and you if you are aware of that and they were communicated directly to you, don't get the right to infringe upon them, to restrict someone's freedom, to restrict someone's agency over their body because you don't agree that they should have the choice, or because you feel like you lack control, or feel like your own needs are more important than of others because you are suffering. Everyone is suffering too, you are just acting with disregard towards them. Even when you are suffering, you don't get to infringe on someone's autonomy when they have clearly communicated over and over and you have understood it but did it regardless. It's disruptive to your personal relationships, and you don't get to pick and choose which boundaries you are going to respect, you don't get to be rude, to lash out or to abuse anyone else because you were abused yourself, or because you are struggling too.

You can't deny other people any respect just because you were denied of it by someone else, years ago. Your responsibility now to face this trauma, this illness, this fear, instead of lashing out at other people who have nothing to do with the your own hurt. No matter how hard it seems to you now, you can recover from all these intense feelings, but don't use them as an excuse for toxic behavior instead of taking responsibility for what you do. You don't get to infringe upon others' rights no matter how you feel, you don't get to hurt them because you are hurt yourself, you don't get to use it as an excuse instead of acknowledging that you might be prone to repeating the cycle of abuse (which is something very common in the first place).

Your hurt, your illness, your trauma, it doesn't put you above anyone else to the point you can completely disregard their autonomy and agency when you already clearly know they don't want you to keep disrespecting them because they have communicated it repeatedly. You are choosing to disrupt your relationships as long as you don't take accountability and deal with your own issues for what they are, instead of lashing them out in other people in hopes they will just deal with it.

[charlotte-sea]

I need a quiet coffee shop for speed dating where we all have color coded name tags. "Hi, I'm Charlotte. I am pansexual, polyamorous and anxious. Show me pictures of your cat, dog or bookshelf"

[charlotte-sea]

Conservatives will be like “Why are you holding me accountable for my bigoted beliefs? Whatever happened to tolerance???”

[charlotte-sea]

RNC wants submission, they have zero interest in unity and would proudly support the biggest looting of top secret intel rather than admit a con man was a con man.

[charlotte-sea]

THIS RIGHT HERE

[charlotte-sea]

[charlotte-sea]

Language matters.

White supremacy and patriarchy are constructs.

They can be destroyed. Systems can be improved and replaced.

We need the political courage to change what is broken and failing. Evolution is constant. Change is constant. Those wishing for the status quo are the extremists.