cholecalcferol

[cholecalcferol]

yo this thread long as hell i can never get used to tumblr

thank you nini for tagging me, i hope you’re feeling better from last time we talked! i’m lowkey curious about the weird ass people in your college now too. also gonna go ahead and yap since i barely do so in twt.

large vomit of text under the cut

1. DOL Robin, but the game as a whole is also right up my alley. severely brain rotting bad, the trauma simulator is trauma simulating me /lh it scratches parts of my curious brain in the most intense way possible. victims interacting with other victims is so interesting to me (the orphanage trio). i hate how i love this game. the fics go insanely hard too. sheesh.

2. WHB Gabriel, unsurprisingly. hate sex with the pc goes hard. one obsessing/killing/domineering the other is a vibe. but the angels in general are pretty cool, too. i have a very loose hc of gabriel accidentally hurting lucifer with his scythe, but since angel lucifer is the king of not giving a rats ass gabriel grew up thinking hurting others wasn’t a punishable offense (for him) and would quite literally throw it around like you would the middle finger. so that’s fun. also gabriel/michellelel or whatever that guy’s name is. ntr & cucking is my takeaway when i realised gabriel has a righthand man. poor guy lmao ….is no one gonna comment how angel blood looks a whole lot like shiny, glowy cum?

3. PKMN SV i got the game recently and it’s been super fun! kieran/juliana is overtaking my tl in twt. it’s been heavenly. but this is an 18+ blog so this is my nsfw take: i hate drayton but fandom black market (as i call it) depictions of him where he’s a complete freak is making me re-examine my life choices. i hope he rots in a hole, stays as far away from kieran as humanly possible. i eat up angst/DD like im in a buffet. should i thank or blame ao3 for that?

4. Gonna break the horny train and say i like discussing health and medicine. i’d be curious about your experiences to the doctor’s, what the results are in your blood work, what meds you’re taking, for how long; i would read the manual in the packaging for you and tell you all about it later. i’m a med student so go figure, but to me it’s really interesting to hear someone’s opinions about something medical-related. i could easily give my 2 cents on the topic, as long as my advice is taken lightly. i have no medical license yet, so don’t trust me too much LMAO

5. NILFRUITS and KIKUO music videos that are lined with symbolism down to the T. the way they intentionally make use of the unnatural lilt of robotic voices as it sings the feelings of the characters, lyrics so vague yet hold so much meaning. it might sound weird or scary for some people, though that doesn’t change a thing for me. definitely not music i would listen to on the daily though LMAO the melodies would most likely bring the mood down more than anything

im gonna out myself for the nth time and say i don’t know how to use tumblr. i cannot stress how much i feel like a kid lost in the mall LMAO that is to say, idk how to tag this. so i won’t tag it. hopefully it doesn’t get lost to the people that want to read it! thank you again nini for giving me the opportunity to yap, i had fun!

I saw this meme going around on twitter and I think it'll be perfect for this account.

List 5 topics you can talk on for an hour without preparing any material.

[cholecalcferol]

LMFAOOO OP CAN I DRAW THAT ELIGOS & FORAS SCENE? ITS JUST TOO GOOD

While the nobles are shipping MC with their kings, what would happen if MC makes an anonymous account and starts shipping the kings with each other as a joke to troll the demons? Maybe even ship the seraphim with them?

I think that there is a seprate community for king x king shippers, but they're at war with the MC x king shippers.

Anonymus: Satan and Mammon would make such a power couple. Just imagine a union betwen the two! I can't this is OTP of the year

Eligos: They would <3 Imagine the child of Solomon between the two! It would be so cute!!!

Anonymus: No, I mean, just Satan and Mammon. I don't think the child of Solomon could fit in there. I think they're a bit over-rated

Eligos: Listen here you little shit!

Eligos: You can take your awful ship and Solomon slander to the king shippers forum and leave us normal people here

Foras: IP: 62946.02854.72794

I think most of them won't care that much, but there are some that are very intense about it. Just make sure nobody from Hades is active online while you do your trolling, cause you'll get doxxed. People in Hades have no chill

If you start shipping anyone with the Seraphim, you're putting a huge target on your back. I have this visual image of MC writing fanfiction about Michael x Lucifer while in Paradise Lost and Lucifer just stares at their phone with all his hope in humanity dying slowly with every word you type out.

"Michael takes Lucifer's hands and makes his way towards the fallen angel's mouth. The atmosphere is hot, but his brother is hotter is all Michael could think as their lips finally touched"

You giggle as you write that down in your notes app, unaware that one of your creative muses is standing right next to you. He sighs and puts a hand on your sholder.

"I don't think there's any cure for what you have. I'm not mad... I'm just disappointed."

You'll not be seeing Lucifer any time soon, he's in his room rethinking his love life.

If you post anything seraphim x king related, you'll get harassed by some of the more reactive bunch (Eligos, Gamigin, Foras, Amon) and blocked by the calmer ones (Paimon mostly. He's been on the internet for longer than anyone here, he knows how the block button works)

If/When they find out that you were just trolling, they'll be surprised and confused to say the least. Some of them would laugh it off, but the one's that are extremely invested in the MC shipper community would need to emotionally recover. They'll all be very appologetic if they said anything bad to you. Foras would probably beg Leviathan to hang him because he doxxed you. He can't live knowing that he hurt the child of Solomon. (It's fine nobody got harmed... as far as you know.)

#whb #whb lucifer #whb eligos #whb foras

[cholecalcferol]

How the kings would react to the shipping of them and MC

Satan

He was hanging out with his nobles, just talking gossip like normal people

But Paimon was just staying on his phone through half the conversations

"Paimon! What's so important that you're not interested in seing Sitri's baby pictures?"

Sitri was dying in the corner while Zagan was rubbing his back

Paimon takes his eyes out of his phone and giggles.

"Oh, I was just arguing with some people onlineeee"

Satan puts down the pictures of baby Sitri on the table (which Astaroth swiftly takes for himself. This will make such great blackmail material) and sits next to Paimon curiously.

"What are these dumpass arguing about now? Don't tell me Leraye started sending death threats to Barbatos over the weather again."

"Noooooo, it's better than thaaaaat. People are arguing about who the child of Solomon would dateeeee"

Satan takes Paimon's phone and starts to scroll through the comversations.

"And I'm winning, right? I mean MC has a pact with me, I was the first to meet them, it's obvious that I'm the one they'll choose"

"I know, riiiiiight?"

Satan would become the most active person in the shipping forum, just spamming it with pictures of him and MC

It's a way to assert his dominance over the whole thing.

Gamigin almost started a war between Paradise Lost and Gehenna when he started insulting Satan under his photos of MC

Mod Jjok had to work overtime to stop the harassment everyone in Gehenna was throwing at Gamigin for that

Lucifer had to send a formal apologise on behalf of his son to stop the situation from escalating further.

Mammon

Recently Eligos asked him to try on different fashion styles

At some point Mammon asks Eligos what this is all about

"The child of Solomon mentioned that they are interested in gothic fashion, so I'm trying to see what clothing would fit you and abide by goth fashion rules."

Mammon chuckles and ruffles Eligos' hair before telling him that he is already to his master's liking

"But there are a lot of people that claim that MC would be more interested in the other kings. We can't have that! Just yesterday Amon was bragging that MC and Beelzebub went on a date!"

"I'm glad they had fun with Beelzebub, but Beelzebub is mine and I am MC's. They can have fun with anyone they please."

Eligos' jaw drops to the floor. He gets flashbacks of all the arguments he had online about this and how he bought bots to mass report any Mammon x Mc slander

Eligos constantly tries to convince Mammon that the shipping wars are a big but Mammon doesn't really care.

At most he sends pictures of him and MC cuddling to Satan to spite him like all good friends do with eachother.

Leviathan

Leviathan is a lurker through the forums

It's where he got most of his information about you before kidnapping you

Probably reports all posts that aren't for the ship with him and you for false information

He would constantly post pictures of you and him doing mundane things with captions like "Living life perfectly", "Greatest day of my life", "Me and my wonderful significant other"

Makes everyone in Hades like his post and floud it with compliments

He'll make an account for you where he roleplays as a version of you that's madly innlove with you

The most likely to start an actual war between Hades and whatever ship is trending that morning

He sometimes doesn't sleep and just scrolls through the forums, refreshing constantly to see if you're having fun with someone else

King of all doxxers

No VPN will protect you from Leviathan's wrath

Beelzebub

Beelzebub was tied to his office chair with Bael glaring at him

"Go on, look at the complaint. What does it say?"

"I should take a vacation. I'm already burned out. You know, overworking is very bad for your health."

Bael glares at him with not an ounce of amusement behind his eyes

When Beelzebub skims through the files, something catches his attention

"Threat of war from Hades? I don't remember going to Hades recently, what happened?"

"While you were away having fun with the child of Solomon, Amon posted pictures of you two going at it on a forum. Next thing I know, his majesty Leviathan declared war on Avisos. I had to talk him out of it, but we now have to write a report about what happened and send it to the other kingdoms to tell them that it was resolved without any casualties."

Beelzebub was laughing his ass off while Bael was question his life choices

Beelzebub asks Amon to show him the forum which the younger devil does happily.

He sometimes go through it often, but he uses it as a way to find out where you are.

He's chiller about the whole thing, finding it kind of funny that so many people are so invested in your love life

Lucifer

Gamigin won't shut up about it.

If Lucifer took a shot every time Gamigin complained about the shipping wars, he'll dethrone Beelzebub as the king of Gluttuny

Lucifer is a softer lover, only being intense in more private parts of your relationship

So even getting him to kiss you in public (or outside the bedroom) is very hard.

This makes Gamigin's job as a shipper very hard

Lucifer finds the shipping war situation absurd

Why would anyone do this? What is it accompleshing? Why does he suddently get embargos from Hades or Gehenna after he goes on a date with you?

He'll probably have to sit Gamigin down and tell him to stop calling the other kings rude names just because they hang out with you.

It really depends on your reaction to everything as well

If you like being in the spot light, than he'll try to be more open with his affection, giving Gamigin more oportunities to gush about you online

If you want to keep your relationship more private, than he'll make all cameras fracture when pointing at the two of you

#whb #what in hell is bad #shipper au #whb satan #whb mammon #whb leviathan #whb beelzebub #op your mind is amazing #leraye and barbatos weather discourse is so clever #DOXXER LEVIATHAN HELP MEEE #gamigin vs eligos and his army of paid bot accounts

[cholecalcferol]

I think tumblr wouldn’t like this, but anyway- Gabriel, yay…

Btw is it just me or why am I so unsatisfied with the anatomy of this one

Credits to: @cholecalcferol (their au!)

(Edit: the words on his face say ‘male prostitute’)

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb gabriel #your brain is braining #male prostitute body writing goes hard #thank you for the food!!!!!

[cholecalcferol]

Happy Easter! 🐇🪽

I wanted to draw gabriel for easter (and easter is hilariously the day before april fools), so have a semi-art dump!

cw: nudity under the cut lmfaooo

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb gabriel

[cholecalcferol]

#whb #whb leviathan #whb mc #lore accurate leviathan #they are so silly

[cholecalcferol]

Hey. U know me >:3. I know i did say I'll ask this later cuz u have stuff to do buuuut I will forget later. This came to me after your latest post. What about the kings (and whoever you want) with a s/o that is pretty much a flat board, she is flat chested

Hi and welcome, I was waiting~ I'm sure none of them give a damn about the size of our chest. For such beautiful demons, it's really sweet that they appreciate us for who we are. I warn you all that I'm in a silly mood today, so it will be especially silly too lol

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

Satan really likes small chest. After all, when you exercise, you burn fat, and the first thing that shrinks is your chest. Big breasts would be uncomfortable when running (you would fall behind with Leraye), and the sooner you get away from danger, the better. He loves you just the way you are anyway. The only tiny downside is that smaller breasts make it easier to listen to your heart, and it annoys him that Sitri purrs like a drill, but a kick will do the trick.

Mammon doesn't care at all about breasts. He cares more about the ass, but a flat butt is still a butt. It would be a bigger problem if you didn't have a butt, literally, but luckily it's physically impossible, so our king can sleep soundly at night. Although, after careful consideration, he has to admit that as his Master you have all the asses in the world anyway, so even without your own you are perfect. Yes, he can definitely sleep soundly now. 

Beelzebub doesn't see it as a hindrance at all, but if it bothers you, he is happy to help. Have you heard about this cool place where you can reverse your knee joints get your breasts bigger? If you want to change it, of course he will take you there. But only if you want to do it for yourself. For him, every chest is great, he will bite, kiss, suck, he would do his best to milk you and [redacted], so you have nothing to worry about. 

Leviathan is the only one who has requirements, and he likes you having a small chest because it keeps others from staring at you. Besides, if you had big breasts, you wouldn't fit in the coffin (it's a lie). If you mention it, he will dismiss your concerns as nonsense. I guess the only thing he regrets is that you can't choke him with your chest... but maybe can you? You will have to test this.

Sitri, as I said, will purr constantly like a drill. Like a kitten. A flat chest is like a dream come true. Not only does he can listen to your heartbeat perfectly, but he also gets kicked twice as often, what more could a demon want? His life is perfect, he's eternally fulfilled.

Zagan, like Satan, knows perfectly well that exercise burns breast fat. Knowing his kink, even if you came to Hell with a D cup, after a month you would be as flat as a board (but with a nice six-pack). Of course, he doesn't care about such mundane things as appearance, just be yourself, you are perfect.

#whb #whb satan #whb beelzebub #whb leviathan #whb mammon #whb sitri #whb zagan #very silly indeed! chefs kiss #mc falling behind with leraye is such a cute detail whar…. slowpoke buddies…. #not mammon waking up in the middle of the night when the mc ass senses are tingling sjkdjfk #ominous beel redaction 🤨🕶️🤏

[cholecalcferol]

gabriel post christmas card story [6p]

so i don’t know what went down in raphael’s christmas story and im never gonna finish michael’s bc i don’t have his artifact. alas, i can only imagine how they would react to gabriel’s souvenir from hell.

doodles/comic & rambling under the cut!

hello i need to get these thoughts out lest i turn hysterical from bottling it all up.

i’ll be honest i have bare minimum info on raphael, all i know is that he owns a punishment room and he doesn’t seem to hate the mc (why in the world would kidnapping the mc into heaven be a good idea ever).

based on what i know, i think raphael is more knowledgeable, or at least open to talk about, these tools than michael & gabriel. i have no idea if he plays with himself in his free time or if he’s as celibate as michael or gabriel but he seems like. he’s the former LMFAO i’m sorry this seems so ooc when his profile info is basically him killing everything on sight 😭

anyway my thoughts on michael based on what i was able to read in his christmas story: he’s so fucking hot. i mean he probably knows what goes down with toys and such, he just actively chooses to not talk about it. one glance and it’s “if i see that again it’s the time out corner for you”

I WANNA MENTION THAT while drawing this i had the sudden realisation that gabriel, intentionally or not, fled the pub once 12 am hit, even when he was close to finishing. this info is insane to me bc this was his first time ever being naked naked??? so like he has never once looked down and got curious about his chastity belt (nice design btw) while he was in heaven? whattaheck

what about angel blood aphrodisiacs or moons when they get horny? lmao

maybe he thinks being played like that is not fun bc he never got to finish, maybe he didn’t like the thought of being exposed to anyone except god, or maybe it’s a different reason entirely, but he still LEFT once the christmas miracle shindig wore off and that’s insane to me. he must hate the mc that much

no matter. i still ship mc/gabriel bc the hate-slash-sexual tension idea that gabriel will do whatever it takes to clear the mc’s porn addiction corruption (whether he kills them, beats it out of them, or gets fucked trying) is what keeps me going HAJSJSJ

thoughts/counter arguments/etc on this are encouraged! i’d love to hear what everyone’s opinions are of the card stories or the seraphs in general.

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb gabriel #whb michael #whb raphael

[cholecalcferol]

had this meme idea when the attack of kings cards were revealed but I only edited it now

#what in hell is bad #whb satan #whb leviathan #whb mammon #whb beelzebub #the humor is definitely amazing #i love it a lot

[cholecalcferol]

Tails for all! - Gehenna edition

Sitri

In Ars Goetia he is related to leopards, so let's keep it that way! A white spotted tail, fluffy, mid-calf length. Equal thickness, only the end is a little fluffier.

The fur is white and silky, but when held up to the light it has blue reflections, just like his hair. 

The nobles of Gehenna thought he was a kitten, and he hated it. Leraye tried to shove catnip up his nose. Also, because they spend a lot of time together, Satan has learned to wag his tail like a cat from him.

He uses it for balancing, have you seen his heels? Exactly. 

This.

Sensitiveness 9/10. Have you ever tried holding a cat by its tail? He's usually calm, but pull on him and he'll completely lose his cool. And you lose your hand.

Not suitable for sex, but best for cuddling. He will tickle you if you are naughty. Also, extremely warm. He will wrap it around your cold hands to warm them.

Belial

A beautiful man with a beautiful tail. Do you remember Toothless from How to train a dragon? Similar tail, except the fins are a little smaller.

Not necessarily scales, more like smooth, hard skin. Homogeneous, only when you touch it you feel small bumps.

Like Beelzebub, he can pull a needle from the tip of his tail. Sometimes, when he's bored, he takes vinyl records and a record player and tries to use this sting like a record player needle.

It works great in the water while swimming.

He had Jjyu on his tail for a while, but the little demon made a lot of enemies behind his back (literally).

Sensitiveness 5/10. He will talk to you with his tail if he can't talk to you with his mouth. He will wrap it around your ankle or stroke your cheek. You would create your own secret love language of gestures. And, it's perfect for grinding.

Paimon

Long, strong tail, with a flowy hair like an irish setter.  It looks beautiful, but it is strong enough to break a rib.

It's blonde at the base, but the closer it gets to the end, the more it turns pink. Nobody knows if it's natural or dyed.

A lot of colorful pins and hairbands are attached to it, the back is braided. Smells sweet, as if he washed it with bubblegum shampoo.

He loves using his tail instead of a tripod or hand for selfies.

Sometimes, when fighting arm in arm with Leraye and surrounded by enemies, they can stand with their backs to each other and intertwine with their tails. Just to protect their backs. 

Sensitiveness 4/10. He will stab you with his tail to taunt you or wrap around your waist so you can't escape. And he’d love you to brush it.

Leraye

We all know he's a puppy, so of course he'll get a kangaroo tail. Maybe not exactly, but similar in strength and agility. Longer than his legs, thick at the base like a thigh. Very short bristles, similar to Paimon, blond at the base, the further away, the darker.

When he wanted to get a piercing on his tail, he finally learned not to do it with a gun. Sitri had to help him anyway again, because he can't turn around that much.

His piercing is three spikes, smaller than his horn, on his back, a hand's distance from each other and from the base. Of course, he has teddy bears there.

His shooting position is incomprehensible to others because he leans on his tail to aim better.

He treats that tail like a chair. If his legs were as strong, he would have no problem running.

Sensitiveness 4/10. He likes it when you scratch him, especially in the opposite direction to the bristles. He'll wag that big tail like a dog.

Zagan

He is depicted as a griffin-winged bull. Let his tail be long and silver, with a white ponytail at the end. Similar to a lion's, but much larger.

If he wanted to, he can use his ponytail as a brush, but it is difficult to remove the paint from the long fur.

The silver fur is a little longer on the bottom. Compared to ponytail, it is more slippery.

Paimon really wanted to dye it, and Zagan didn't have the heart to refuse, so for half a year he wore a pink ponytail at the end. (That's why he knows how hard it is to wash it off.) Interestingly, the angels fled even more at the sight of him. It is known that the cuter the demon, the more dangerous it is.

He has a protective pattern painted on the back of his tail, near the base, just like on his talismans. He repaints it every morning, it's his little ritual.

Sensitiveness 5/10. He likes petting the underside of the tail the most, where he has longer, soft fur.

Astaroth

Let's go crazy, shall we? There is no more snake demon than him. We know that demons are shapeshifters, and I feel like he would gladly trade his legs for a snake tail. 

Its strands may be a good ten meters long, but no one has been brave enough to measure it. Black scales with a white belly.

He has no tail in his human form, he would feel too uncomfortable with so many limbs. 

From him came the legends not only about Santa Claus, but also about the nagas, i.e. snake-like deities.

Elegant and distinguished and lazy. Like Belial, he likes to swim, especially at noon when the sun warms his scales. You can use him like a mattress or a pontoon.

Sensitiveness 2/10 back, 10/10 belly.  Especially where the human body turns into a snake one. You know what I'm getting at. Along with the tail, of course, come fangs and poison. Don't try to kiss him and don't let it bite you. He'd tangle you in his embrace and wouldn't let you go.

#what in hell is bad #OP YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING #this is tagged as a shitpost by op but this might just be the next best thing to me #by that i mean i guess i have to draw sitri with leopard ears and a tail now huh #astaroth big swimming pool floatie vibes #if i die i’d rather have the experience of pulling on sitri’s tail before i go yknow #very fun read it’s so interesting #whb sitri #whb paimon #whb belial #whb leraye #whb zagan #whb astaroth

[cholecalcferol]

WHAT HAVE I DONE

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb belial #biblically accurate jjyu #he looks so stupid looking i can’t stop laughing

[cholecalcferol]

the babiest in pink 🏩🩷🌸

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb satan #i also adore his hair it’s so fun to draw

[cholecalcferol]

Cheers! 🥂📸

i finally finished… phew

i assume the people that commented last time are fine being mentioned 👉 @notemejellyfish @thrones-of-buer @synne-ful

i hope you guys are having a happy new year :] even tho it’s a bit late lmao

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb foras #whb naberius #whb sitri #whb paimon #whb leraye #whb amon

[cholecalcferol]

Michael (Christmas)'s Hidden Chatroom

Dialogue - Option A

Dialogue - Option B

#what in hell is bad #whb michael #he’s so sad. so sorrowful. he cries all day everyday #he’s so delusional he just like me frfr #i’m surprised he actually feels for humans though? he’s actually a pretty nice guy #AND HES DEDICATING HIS TEARS MORE FOR HUMANS THAN GOD? i smell a win for us fellas

[cholecalcferol]

quickly guys while there’s still time before new years i have a resolution i can’t keep drawing gabriel i need to draw ANYONE at this point. 3 more slots!

#what in hell is bad #whb #idk how this will work #i’m not a tumblr person #but please comment and i’ll probably tag you when i’m all finished! #unless you don’t want to be tagged just lmk

[cholecalcferol]

Raphael’s likability rewards~

#brah i thought he liked to eat animals whilst they were throwing up their food LMFAO #turns out it just means he likes herbivores like goats and cows and stuff #homie you can’t just eat lambs that get sacrificed to god like that #rude ass kid! no wonder you’re the problem child in god’s eyes LMAO #what in hell is bad #whb raphael

[cholecalcferol]

so the seraphs can use the secret room now, huh? [5p]

ever since i saw gabriel with wads of cash on his person (which was like months ago) three things have always been on my mind.

1.) where did the money come from and who is the idiot that thought it was a safe idea to relegate a seraph (mc you big dumbass /affectionate)

2.) i refuse to believe any of the kings would enjoy an angel having sexy times in the same room as them so literally the mc is the only one having fun. they are so funny

3.) glasya/mc/michael, you know? YKNOW?? michael gets off of humans dying, then glasya gets off of corpses. my head is going to explode

ps. a part of me wants people to not mind the mistakes but the other part of me encourages people to play spot-the-mistakes LMAO

#what in hell is bad #whb satan #whb mammon #whb leviathan #whb michael #whb glasyalabolas