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cleocat246 · 6 days

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But Put Together, the Cracks We’ll Close In

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Early Alexandria

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; mentions of past child abuse; mentions of suggested abortion; blood and injury

Summary: Fresh into Alexandria, Daryl meets his match in a two year little girl and slowly loses his heart to her mother. You.

A/N: Based on the request/headcanon from @louifaith Just a couple of things. The child is described as in hair and eye color. Nothing is mentioned of reader so these traits could come from her father. There is also the mention of an “Eskimo kiss.” I grew up using that term but I’m not sure if it is offensive or PC nowadays. please feel free to send me a message if I need to change it. It is not my intention to be offensive to anyone! Also, sorry if anyone likes Spencer. He's always my go to asshole.

“S’that?”

Daryl felt the opossum sway in his grip, looking down with a scowl firmly plastered at the bright eyes returning his gaze, brimming with curiosity. She was a toddler, maybe two years old? Christ, someone had a toddler in this mess. “Dinner.” He grunted, pulling the dead animal out of her reach. He found out quickly that the curious little creature would not be deterred so easily. Standing on her tip-toes, she made a grab for the marsupial. “Knock it off.” He huffed and took a step back, bumping into Carol.

“Daryl, she’s a child. Don’t be such a grump.”

“Ain’t you got a mama—family to get back to?” He snapped, ignoring his best friend. The little girl’s eyes brightened.

“Mama! Mama!” She clapped. Daryl rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm.

“Yeah, go get ‘er.” There was an intense sigh of relief when the little human went running (waddling?) out of sight. “They got kids here.”

“Yes, Daryl. That’s what that was.” Carol nudged him playfully. “The people seem to think they’re safe here. It gives me the creeps.” He nodded but didn’t comment. “They obviously don’t know what’s going on out there, not like we do. I think we need to be cautious here. Find a way to fit in but keep our guard up, you know?”

Daryl snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that. Ain’t got no intention of tryin’ to fit in with these folks. Livin’ in a fuckin’ fairytale here. Ain’t gonna last.”

“You’re such a ray of sunshine.” Sasha clapped him on the shoulder as she passed, earning yet another grunt.

“Mama, here!”

Oh dear god, no. “S’back.” The hunter stated flatly.

“Oh, and she brought a friend.” Sure enough, the little girl was dragging you along, tugging incessantly at your hand as if the child had found the world’s most priceless treasure. “You did tell her to ‘go get her.’”

“Nadia, slow down!”

And slow down, she did. Right in front of a scowl-wearing redneck with a bleeding opossum in his grasp.

“Mama, dinner! Dorl dinner.”

Dorl?!? Daryl looked helplessly over to where Carl was carrying Judith, the little light of his life. Would this be what she was like as she grew up? She already knew him, loved him despite how broken and hopeless he was. She would laugh at him if he was ranting about something and hold out those chubby little hands and he was done for, whatever had irritated him was forgotten.

But this child? This wasn’t his lil’ asskicker.

Daryl liked kids but he liked them from a distance. He had no business being around them, save for Carl and Judith. I wish I could have known Sophia. He wouldn’t bother getting to know anyone in this place. It’d burn like every other home they had anyway.

“Dorl, huh?” You smiled.

“Daryl.” He replied flatly, his lip curling.

“I’m Y/N. I assume Aaron found your group?”

He didn’t answer, too occupied with trying to continuously move away from the small child clumsily reaching for his knife sheath. “Stop that.” He barked, expecting the kid to balk. She did quite the opposite and wrapped her tiny arms around his leg, just below his knee. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Shake her off? Of course not. She might get hurt. While he really didn’t want to be touched, he couldn’t help but feel like it was somehow his job to make sure this kid wasn’t hurt. “Can ya—would ya—?” Shoulders slumped, he didn’t even gesture. You know what he was asking.

Chuckling, you reached down and gently pried the little girl loose. “Nadia, you’re supposed to ask before hugs, remember?”

“Hug Dorl.” The dark-headed child pouted.

That was his cue to step away, as quickly as possible, without running. He absolutely did not run.

When you looked up, he was already gone, lost in the middle of his group as they headed in to surrender weapons and be interviewed by Deanna.

Daryl sat on the now red-stained porch, prepping his kill for cooking later. Carol had scolded him and made him promise to use the backyard going forward, but he doubted they would be there long enough for him to need the area. It was just the way the world was. Nice places like this could never last.

“Dorl dinner!”

Jesus take the wheel. “Ya need a bell.” He grunted, looking around for you. “An’ apparently a leash.” Maybe if he ignored her, she would go find you. But what if she wandered off alone and somehow made it out of the gates? Shit. “Sit down, gremlin.”

She giggled and patted her chunky hands against her chest. “Nada.”

Daryl stopped moving and stared for a moment. Wasn’t that Spanish? Maybe? Wait. You had called her Nadia. Maybe that’s what she was trying to say. “Nadia?” Blue eyes squinted in wait.

Nadia bounced and nodded and then pointed at him. “Dorl! Dorl, Nada!”

He released his knife and leaned his elbow against his knee, the heel of his hand pressing into his forehead. “Dare-ul.” He tried.

“Dooorl.”

“Oh, for fucksake.” The archer gave up, picking up his knife and continuing with his task. Nadia didn’t even seem to notice what he was doing but leaned in closely with the most serious look he’d ever seen. He needed to lean back once she made it much too far into his personal space.

“Fucksy.” She said, maintaining eye contact as if she were challenging him.

“No! Don’t say that. Can’t be teachin’ ya sh—stuff like that!” He panicked, opossum forgotten. Daryl threw back his head with a groan. “Can’tcha please just go to your mama?”

Nadia’s little face lit up and off she went with a chorus of mama mama mama. Watching her go, Daryl wondered where the little one’s father was, but soon banished the thought. It was none of his business. What was his business was to make sure the annoying curtain-climber made it home safely. Abandoning his dinner—no time to cover it if he was going to catch up—he walked briskly until he caught sight of her. Little legs can fuckin’ move. We’re fucked when Jude learns to walk.

He stayed close, but far back enough to not catch her attention. She seemed to know exactly where she was going. Rounding the curb to the end of the street, he caught sight of the small house. Quaint compared to the other homes. The front door was open but he dared not go closer. Boots firmly planted on the sidewalk, he observed the struggle of a tiny human tackling front porch steps. Nadia was determined though. Had he chosen to help, he was certain she would give him that serious look again and yell at him in baby-speak.

“Nadia Avery, how do you keep getting out the door!”

Maybe cause you leave it open? He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

Regardless, there you were, swooping down to gather the bundle into your arms with a couple of sobs and more than a few sniffles. “Baby, you have to stop doing that! You scare mommy.” Nadia was nuzzling your jaw but then suddenly pointed right at him.

“Dorl got Nada.”

When your eyes found his own, Daryl froze. His arms were out to his sides, his eyes wide. He looked nothing short of a deer caught in the sights of his crossbow when it realized it’s about to be shot. “I—uh, kid found me.” Forcing himself to relax a fraction, he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Didn’t want ‘er wand’rin’ ‘round by herself.”

Your face softened into a grateful smile. “Thank you for making sure she got home.” He nodded curtly and you turned away, only to turn back in the same motion. “Would you like to come inside? I have some stew that I’m heating. Plenty for the three of us.”

A part of him that he didn’t know existed wanted to immediately accept the offer but the part of him that had kept him alive this long spoke louder. “Nah, got my own dinner I need to take care’a. Thanks, though.”

You nodded, the smile never faltering. “Think of it as a standing invitation. Nadia seems to like you. She’s a good judge of character.”

He snorted. “Alright.”

“Goodnight, Daryl.”

“Night.” He took two steps.

“Nigh’ nigh’, Dorl!”

He heard the sound of a kiss being blown his way, but didn’t turn around. Maybe if he ignored her, she’d go away.

It had been three days since he had last seen you or Nadia. He found that it unsettled him but not enough to go looking. Aaron had gifted him a work area and parts to build himself a bike. It was the best thing anyone could have offered him at that point. He felt like he still wasn’t fitting in, and while that was the idea at first, now it just felt…lonely.

Carol was always gone when he got up and not home yet when we retired to bed. Rick and Michonne couldn’t stay out of the bedroom for more than five minutes unless something ‘coppy’ needed to be handled. Carl was always outside with Jude in the nice weather.

Daryl was alone. Though he usually preferred it that way, he couldn’t seem to shake the negativity it seemed to bring to the surface.

Spending time around something familiar from the old world came to be a comfort. When the posh little community with its “good morning” while walking the dog and laughter over coffee at the gazebo became too much for Daryl, he disappeared into Aaron’s garage. Aaron and his husband seemed okay in the archer’s book. They never once stared at him like he was going to rob them blind or beat them to a pulp. They showed him kindness even if his only attempts at conversation consisted of nods and grunts.

“You going to this party tonight?” Aaron asked from the doorway the led into the house from the garage.

“Nah.” Daryl picked up a wrench and continued his work, not giving the question a proper thought.

“You really should make an effort to get to know more people here.”

“They don’t like me. Shouldn’t, really.” The archer shrugged.

“They just don’t know you. Maybe you should give them a chance.” Aaron kept his persuasion in the doorway. He had gifted Daryl that space and was unwilling to step into it without an invitation he was unlikely to receive without asking.

“Better they don’t know me.”

There was a sigh that made Daryl curl his lip. “Just think about it, okay?” The shuffle of feet and the door opening signaled the other man’s exit.

Why should Daryl go? He had little interest in fitting in, even when his own group was making such an effort. Carol and Rick were wary and had whatever it was they had but Carol would tell him if she felt it necessary. Daryl was just plain wary, utterly uninterested. Most of them would likely be dead soon and he didn’t need anyone else to mourn.

So why he found himself showered and in a fresh set of clothing that was his own form of presentable was absolutely beyond him. It had nothing to do with the fact that on his walk home, he thought maybe you’d be at the party. Nope, nothing like that.

He had made it at least to the yard outside, watching the festivities through the window. Everyone he knew seemed so at ease in there. Dressed up, laughing and drinking. Mingling like they belonged there. He didn’t belong there.

“Nah.” He said softly before turning away. He was passing by Aaron’s house when a call of his name from that familiar voice had him stopping with a sigh. “Yeah?”

“You went. Good for you. Did you have a good time?” Aaron asked from the porch. Daryl shrugged. The man’s eyes narrowed and suddenly the archer was nervous, feeling judged. “You didn’t go in, did you?”

Daryl shook his head. “Just ain’t my thing.”

“Hey, you tried.”

“Why didn’t you go?” That wasn’t supposed to sound so accusatory but Daryl was tired and had simply had his fill of the day and that place.

“Eric’s ankle is still giving him trouble. We just thought it best to skip out on this one.”

This one? Christ. That insinuated there would be more. With an inward groan, he answered outwardly with a grunt.

“We’ve got dinner ready. More than can feed us. Can we tempt you?” The offer was sincere and Daryl was hungry, but his battery was running on fumes. He glanced toward his own home and then back at Aaron. “Eric makes a mean spaghetti, man. Come on, you’re already out.”

Daryl sighed. “Fine.” He was grateful for the invitation, he just sucked at showing it, as with almost every other emotion. Aaron held open the door and with a nod, the archer entered, still ill at ease being inside someone else’s home when his own still felt less than comfortable.

“Dorl.”

Before he could prepare himself, Nadia was latching onto his lower legs. Arms out awkwardly, he glared at Aaron. “Didn’t say she was here.”

The man just shrugged a shoulder. “Didn’t say she wasn’t either.”

“Hi, Daryl!” You came around the corner from the dining room, no doubt to gather your spawn but he couldn’t seem to form a thought around the smile you were giving him.

“Mama! Dorl!”

“I can see that, baby. You think you can let go so that he can walk?” Nadia shook her head with a vicious pout.

“Dorl up?”

“What?” He looked down at the toddler and back up at you, silently hoping you’d act as translator for the little gremlin.

“She wants you to pick her up. You don’t—”

For reasons unbeknownst to even him, he bent down and placed his hands beneath Nadia’s arms, lifting her onto his hip. It felt no different than holding Judith. Nadia was heavier of course.

“Dorl!” Chubby arms wrapped around his neck, her little cheek rubbing against his stubbled one. “Tickle.” She giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world and repeated the action.

You were still smiling but much more softly. “She really likes you.” Daryl grunted. “You don’t say much, do you?”

“Ain’t gotta lot to say.” He shrugged the shoulder Nadia’s chin was resting on, sending her into another fit of giggles. She pulled back suddenly, very in his space and then pressed her face against his cheek. He flinched but otherwise didn’t move. There was the smallest flutter that tickled his skin before she reared back again, smiling proudly. “What—”

“Butterfly kisses.” You informed, arms crossed but your smile hidden behind your hand.

“What the fu—heck’s that?”

“Oh come on, you never gave your mom butterfly kisses?” You chuckled.

Daryl felt nauseous at the mention of his mother. The only thing he’d shared with her were bruises and a few after-beating hugs. But you didn’t know him. He took the anger and locked it down, but it must have spilled into his expression.

“I’m sorry.” Your smile was gone, but to his surprise (and relief), there was no pity in your eyes. Only understanding. Still, it wasn’t a subject he cared to let linger.

He turned his attention to the child, who had developed a sudden interest in the hair over his ears. “Ya ever gave a Eskimo kiss?” He almost laughed out loud when Nadia’s eyes flew wide with wonder. She didn’t confirm or deny but the fact that she hadn’t moved was answer enough. “S’simple.” Daryl brought a hand up to the back of her head and gently urged her forward, rubbing the tip of his nose over hers. “There. Eskimo kiss.”

She kept those wide eyes as her little mouth began to spread open into one of the biggest smiles he’d ever seen on a kid, granted he hadn’t spent much time around any.

“Again!” She squealed, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him forward. He expected to have a bloody nose from the force with which she came at him, but her movements became deliberate and gentle, as if getting it right was the most important thing in the world.

Nadia was incredibly pleased with herself, her little hands patting against Daryl’s chest before she wiggled out her request for freedom and sprinted toward the dining room with this newfound information to share with Eric and Aaron.

“Careful.” You said, though there was no hint of anything unkind in your tone. When he looked away from the other room, he found your expression to be one he couldn’t seem to identify. It was soft yet guarded. He didn’t move away when you reached a single hand out to adjust his vest. “You’re smiling.” And you walked away, leaving him there to realize that he was indeed wearing a small, lopsided grin.

He shook it off with a groan, absolutely regretting his decision to come in for dinner.

“Dorl!” Came the loud shout from the table. “Dorl, sketti!”

This was not going to end well.

It had been two weeks since the spaghetti dinner, which in fact had ended rather pleasantly. Aside from your giggles when he realized he was eating his meal with the same gusto and manners as the toddler next to him, Aaron had offered him a job that let him go outside the walls. He’d accepted almost immediately.

Little Nadia had been determined to take him home with them, so he walked you there with her tiny hand in his. Halfway, she had begun to tire and fuss, instinct had kicked in and he scooped her up in the same manner he would Judith. The child was asleep on his shoulder almost instantly.

He had zero intention of entering your home and was thankful the kid was out cold so that she couldn’t initiate the suggestion. He had passed her off to you and started to leave.

“Daryl.” You had called quietly. He still wasn’t sure why he had turned back to you so quickly. “That invitation is still open.” You smiled, he grunted. “Thanks for being so sweet with her. Goodnight.”

There had been a heavy feeling in his chest but he had nodded. “G’night.”

Now, you and little Nadia were almost a constant presence when he wasn’t beyond the wall. A presence that he found no longer really irritated him.

He would sit on the porch with the kid, working on his crossbow while Nadia colored or played with toys. He had to find her some of her own to have there because it seemed she and Judith were at odds about Daryl’s attention. He had made the mistake of lifting lil’ asskicker out of her playpen while Nadia was on his heels and the latter had begun to wail.

He had quickly passed Jude off to an equally concerned Michonne and scooped up the kid. “S’wrong? Hey.” Little arms wrapped around his neck and, though he didn’t see the angry pout directed at the other baby, Michonne did. He turned at her chuckle, eyes wide and confused.

Before she could explain, those little arms squeezed harder. “My Dorl.”

From that moment on, he saved time with Judith for emergencies (there were none) and for after Nadia had gone home with you.

“Don’t touch that, Dia.” Daryl huffed, catching her little hand reaching for the knife he had on the porch table. He had spent the morning skinning a few squirrels for Carol to use in a stew but was at that point, working on the tension on his bow.

And babysitting.

You had some inventory to do at the infirmary with Pete. The doctor gave him bad vibes so when you had asked, he’d accepted all too quickly. Even offered to tag along and keep an eye on the kid there. In the end, after you had politely declined, he had reasoned that you were a grown woman and could handle yourself.

“Babysitting, again, hmm?”

Daryl glanced up from his crossbow toward Carol on the top step, Nadia already beaming up at her from the hug around her waist. It lasted all of three seconds before the kid was back to her toys beside Daryl’s boot.

“Mhm.” Was the only answer he offered, one that was mimicked from the little person below him. He didn’t smile but Carol didn’t miss the way his eyes left the weapon to regard Nadia for a moment before returning to the task.

“Where’s Y/N?” She asked, plopping down onto the other chair. She grabbed a toy that had rolled away and handed it back to the child.

“Some inventory shit at the infirmary.” Daryl shrugged, rotating the bow to check his work. Carol made a noise that gave him pause, one he didn’t like. “What?”

“No one’s at the infirmary. I was just there for Mr. Henderson’s blood pressure medication.”

He could feel his heartrate picking up, a sense of foreboding so strong that he could barely think straight. “Pete weren’t there?”

Carol shook her head. “No one.” She sat up straight when Daryl stood, sheathing his knife and placing his crossbow on the railing. “Daryl?”

“Dia, I’m gonna be right back. You’re gonna stay with Carol for a few minutes. Tell me the rules.”

Nadia’s wide eyes narrowed into seriousness. “No bow. No move. Be good. No shit.” It took her a moment to babble through the small list but Daryl ruffled her hair with the smallest of half smiles.

“No shit, Daryl?”

He was already stepping off the porch. “Her mama hears ‘er sayin’ that an’ m’a dead man.”

Carol laughed and shook her head, turning her attention to the little human that was already working up to a cry as Daryl walked out of sight. “Do you like cookies, Nadia?”

He checked the infirmary first. He didn’t doubt Carol, but maybe she had missed a room or something. It was, as Carol had said, empty. “Fuck.” The next most logical place would be your home. He ran the entire way. He’d feel like an absolute fool if you were fine, but he’d cross that bridge later. The door was open, he could see that from the moment he rounded the curb. You had a habit of doing that and he hated it, but who was he to tell you what to do?

“Y/N?” He took your steps two at a time and stopped on the threshold. “Y/N? Are ya here?” No answer. He felt like shit the moment his boot touched the floor inside. He’d never taken you up on an invitation for the dinner you continuously offered him, much less any offer to simply come inside. Now here he was tearing room to room, in your safe space. There were covered pots on the stove and the oven was on, but where were you? “Y/N!” He placed a booted foot on the bottom stair before your voice stunned him frozen.

“Daryl?”

He nearly collapsed in relief.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Nadia? Daryl?”

“She’s fine. She’s with Carol.” He rasped, sheathing his knife when he saw you staring at it. Your hair was wet, your clothes damp. You must have been in the shower. “M’sorry. Carol said ya weren’t at the—just got worried. M’sorry.” His eyes had lowered to the stairs below you but then your bare feet were padding down them to stop directly in front of him. “I’ll, uh—lemme go get ‘er.” He had barely moved before your hand was on his shoulder. To his shock, he didn’t flinch; didn’t even have the urge.

“Are you okay?” You asked, ducking your head to seek out his gaze. He continued to expertly dodge.

“M’fine. Just—I’ll go get Dia.” He stepped away and out of the loose grip you had on him, immediately missing the warmth of your hand. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I was making us dinner.” The words rushed out of you, like you were trying to get them out before he could leave. Daryl looked over his shoulder from the doorway, an eyebrow arched. “Us. Me, Nadia, and—well, you.”

“Me? Why?” He hadn’t meant to sound so unkind, ungrateful, but that was just who he was down deep, wasn’t it? Still, you seemed unbothered, your nervousness born of something else entirely.

“Because Nadia likes you. I like you. We’d like to spend time with you that doesn’t involve me asking for favors or the entire community leering and making assumptions.”

He still hadn’t fully turned, but narrowed his eyes. “Think they ain’t gonna make assumptions when ya have me in your house?”

“Fair point.” You nodded, chuckling. “Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what they think but I worry that you do.” Head tilted, Daryl turned but remained in the doorway. “You seem so private, quiet. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth for a moment. “So, will you come? Please?”

As much as he tried, he couldn’t sense a single ounce of dishonesty or ill intent in you. It was certainly there, wasn’t it? No one outside of the group that had grown to like him over months of death and sorrow wanted anything to do with him. So, why you? Why Nadia? “Alright, I’ll go get ‘er an’ be back.” He turned and took a step before you called out again.

“Don’t worry about changing or anything. Just bring you, okay?”

He nodded around the very foreign flutter in his chest, clearing his throat and leaving the house before he could overthink things right there in front of you. He’d be able to do that in abundance on the way to grab the kid.

To say he was confused was the largest of understatements. You were a beautiful woman. Where was Nadia’s father? In that world, the absence usually meant he was either dead or had willingly left, which he couldn’t fathom either. Was the kid the reason all the single men weren’t knocking down your door? That couldn’t be it. Nadia was amazing, all bright smiles and such an innocence that was refreshing in a world as dark it was.

Even if you did have suitors, why were you taking the time to get to know him? He was damn sure nothing special and had nothing to offer you. Daryl growled at himself. He was jumping the gun. You hadn’t expressed any real interest in him. You wanted to have dinner. Aaron and Eric had him over for dinner all the time. It was what friends did. He was your friend after all. He had to be for you to trust him with Nadia. He snorted. Maybe that was all the brat’s doing and you were just along for the ride.

His shoulders were slumped, feet dragging by the time he made it back to his house, already opening his arms in expectation of the bundle of Nadia that would be leaping into them any moment. “Dorl!”

“She was about to strap on your crossbow and come find you herself.” Carol teased from the doorway.

“I was barely gone twenty minutes, kid.” He nodded to Carol and turned back to take Nadia home. “Your mama’s at home makin’ something for supper. Ya hungry?”

“Mmmmhmmmm!” Little legs were swinging while bright eyes watched the street in front of them, her arms loosely around his neck, trusting him to not let her fall. And he would never. Daryl craned his head to look at her, all dark hair and big blue eyes. She could pass as his own kid to anyone who didn’t know better.

Whoa. That train of that was roughly derailed.

Easily done when the top of her head leaned against his temple and she began to hum some tune he didn’t know. It calmed his anxiety enough to not eat him from the inside out before he made it back to your house. Nadia was wiggling to be lowered before he could even get her to the steps. Much to her annoyance (if her little growl and pout were anything to go by), he didn’t place her on her feet until they were on the porch.

The door was still open and, man, he really wanted you to stop doing that.

“Mama!” Nadia squealed, running right into your arms.

“Hi, baby! Did you have fun with Daryl today?” You hefted her onto your hip, your face turned toward hers even though your smile was aimed at the archer.

“We always have fun.” He was close enough to ruffle the kid’s hair without invading your space.

“No shit!” Nadia proclaimed with her arms in the air. You were smiling but your eyebrows shot up toward your hairline. Daryl cleared his throat.

“M’a tell Carol to watch ‘er mouth.”

“Carol. Right.” You chuckled. You started to reach for his arm but must have thought better of it and motioned toward the dining room instead. He found he was disappointed. “Go ahead and sit down wherever. There’s some wine and water already there.”

Daryl liked wine. He’d partake when at Aaron and Eric’s for dinner but here? He wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. The table could seat six but there were three places set, the middle chair holding a booster seat. He didn’t sit, wouldn’t until you did. Instead he noticed how close the glasses of wine were sitting to Nadia’s place and took the liberty of moving each of them to the other side. Not that the kid would bother them but it just felt—right?

“Alright, kiddo. You get to eat first.” You weren’t carrying Nadia anymore but she was right behind you, looking up at the bowl of pasta like a pup that was about to get its kibble. Daryl was already lifting the kid into her seat when you turned from placing the bowl on the table. “Thank you.” You did touch his arm then. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll be right back.”

Nadia had apparently chosen his spot for him, patting the back of the chair to her left. Chewing on the side of his thumb, he glanced toward the kitchen. Wasn’t he supposed to pull your chair out for you or something? Aaron had.

“No, no, Dorl.” Nadia pulled at his elbow, earning a halfhearted scowl before he realized she was trying to get him to stop the anxious habit.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, not sure why he was apologizing when she just went back to dancing and eating once he had dropped his hand. He watched her for a moment, just being a kid, innocent and oblivious to the dangers and heartache that lay in wait just outside of Alexandria’s protective walls. She and you—just two more people for him to mourn in the end. What was he doing there? He had no business being in your lives. If he didn’t lose the two of you, then you would lose him. It was inevitable. It was fate. It was the way the world worked now, tirelessly snuffing out any semblance of light that could give someone like him hope.

And goddamnit, he’d be devastated. He adored your kid and though he couldn’t quite decipher what it was that he felt for you, he knew that if anything happened to you, he’d shatter.

“Daryl?”

“What?” He snapped out of reflex, not fully out of his head before he had realized you were speaking. You flinched, the pasta in the two bowls you were holding bounced but didn’t spill. “M’sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?” The bowls were placed on the table and a basket of fresh bread that he hadn’t noticed you had already brought out. How long had he been standing there?

“Yeah, uh—yeah, m’fine.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling very trapped in the small room. It wasn’t really that small, was it? “M’just—” He didn’t finish before he all but ran to the door, closing it behind him like he really wished you would start doing. He had a cigarette lit within seconds, trembling fingers bringing it to his lips for a long drag.

Pale light from inside cascaded around him as the door opened. You didn’t move any closer, obviously staying near Nadia while the little girl ate. “You okay?”

“Mhm.” Lie.

“Come back inside?” You requested after glancing toward Nadia, finding her eating her pasta elegantly with her fingers. Daryl said nothing, wasn’t even sure he could, but he flicked his cigarette toward the sidewalk and stood, walking past you with but a beat of hesitance.

Despite Nadia’s excitement at his return, he remained quiet, but offered the kid a ghost of a smile when she offered a bite of her own food. Disgruntled at his refusal, she wore her own version of a scowl and continued to eat. You had taken your seat, giving the bread basket a tiny shove toward the archer.

“Thanks.” He mumbled. He wasn’t sure how to act around you anymore. Staring at his food, he questioned whether the way he usually ate might disgust you. It was never something he actively thought about. He grew up in a home where he snatched what he could get and ate it quickly before someone could take it or reprimand him for it. It was nearly the same now that the world had ended. Thankful for any scrap of food, but quick to make sure it was gone before someone came ready to fight for it.

“If you think any louder, I might be able to hear it.”

Daryl glanced up, unable to meet your eyes. You were swirling the wine around in the glass with your gaze settled on him. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s just dinner, Daryl.”

With a barely there nod, he picked up his fork and began to eat, slowly and carefully, not noticing the way you watched him with a quizzical expression.

Nadia was having a hard time keeping her head up by the time dinner was finished, her little eyes closing before snapping open with a jerk of her head.

“Time for bed.” You announced, attempting to wipe her face around languid movements of annoyance. “Come on, baby.” Lifting her from the chair, you tilted your head when she leaned her upper body back toward Daryl, reaching out with lazy, grabby hands.

“Dorl night night.”

Halfway out of his seat, he froze. “Think ya should, uh—your mama should handle this’un, Dia.” She didn’t seem to have it in her to argue, flopping onto your shoulder. You managed to hold up a finger, asking him to wait while you put Nadia to bed. He did, but busied himself gathering the dishes, taking them to the sink, and rinsing them out as Carol had trained him to do. “Wow, my very own human dishwasher. Can I keep you?”

Daryl felt the heat rise in his face, traveling down to his chest and up to the tips of his ears. “Stop.” God, you were just as bad as Carol.

“Daryl.”

Oh, boy. Your tone had gone from playful to serious in two seconds flat. His stomach was in knots but he dared not turn around and rinsed the same bowl at least three times. “Hmm?”

“I’d like to see, uh—I’d like it if you'd come around more often. Tonight was—it was nice.”

And there it was. The one thing that had caused him so much inner turmoil now confirmed. You were interested and, for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why. When he finally managed to get his tongue to work, the words that spilled out were nothing like the ones running through his head and he regretted them immediately. “Where’s Dia’s daddy?” Christ, Dixon. “M’sorry.” He tried to backpedal, finally turning toward you and leaning back against the sink with a white-knuckled grip against the edge of the countertop. “Ain’t my business.”

“Gone. I don’t really give a fuck where.” You shrugged, so nonchalantly that he had to look at you. “He didn’t want her. Nearly got himself killed finding pills for me to take. I refused, he left. But I have her and I hope he’s a walker.” Your gaze was fond but serious, and he found not a single trace of annoyance or anger. “She’s never really liked men. Even Aaron and Eric had to coax her inside for dinner with a stale candybar.” You laughed at the memory, and Daryl realized he could listen to that sound for the rest of his life. “But then you. She wasn’t afraid, not for a single second.”

“It was the ‘possum.” He shrugged, shyly ducking his head for only a moment but looking back up through his fringe when you laughed again.

“Okay, we can go with that.” You lifted yourself up onto the island, kicking your legs, reminding him of Nadia. “Doesn’t really explain why she stuck to you like glue every moment since then, though. Dorl this and Dorl that. I’m not complaining. You’re good for her.” Daryl scoffed, ducking his head once more. “You are, Daryl. And I think she might be good for you too.”

“She’s a kid. Don’t know no better.” He shrugged, the urge to run becoming more and more prevalent. He didn’t belong there. It wasn’t his family. Nadia wasn’t his kid and you weren’t his. God, he wished you were.

You hummed, holding back something. “I had fun tonight, but when you come back, don't worry so much about what I think, okay?” The way he tried to eat more slowly?

“Yeah, okay. Was nice. Thanks, uh—thanks for havin’ me.” The archer made the choice to pass you and head for the door. Your bare feet hit the floor just behind him. “I’ll see ya ‘round. Lemme know if ya need someone to watch Dia.” Why the hell did he offer that?

“I will. Thank you.” The smile you gave him was almost sad. Maybe disappointed? “Goodnight, Daryl.”

“Yeah. Night.” He crossed the threshold but turned back, keeping his head low. “Keep your door shut.” There was no time for you to answer before he was jogging down your steps, barely slowing his stride all the way home. All the lights were off when he arrived and he couldn’t be more grateful to slip in and down to his room to berate himself properly until he was finally able to fall asleep.

Logically, he should have avoided you since that night, but Daryl never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box. He absolutely did not look for reasons to go to your house, satisfied to find the door closed each and every time. If he saw you carrying something, he’d jog over to take it from you, no matter how big or small. He responded by meeting Nadia in the middle each time she called for him, even if he was covered in dark blood and brain matter.

“Dorl smell ick.” She would say.

He was down bad and though he would deny it until his last breath with the age old line of we’re just friends, Carol was smarter than that.

“Daryl, you and I are friends. You’re sweet on that girl and you can fight me if you try to claim any different.” She stirred at the brownie batter, intermittently swatting away his hand when he tried to sneak a taste. “You should just tell her how you feel.”

“Stop actin’ like ya know ev’rythin’.” He snapped with no real heat.

“Okay, fine. I know nothing.” She stated coolly, spreading the mixture into a baking pan. “Except that Spencer has been spending an awful lot of time around her and Nadia.”

Well, that had his attention. “What? When?” He hopped off the countertop and was quickly standing just beside Carol, moving accordingly so that she could continue her baking.

“Usually when you’re out. I think you intimidate him.”

“Damn well better intimidate him.”

“Why? You’re ‘just friends,’ remember?” Daryl curled his lip at her air quotes, turning on a heel to head toward the door.

“Shuddup.”

He hadn’t been focused, lingering on what Carol had told him that morning. Worrying that Spencer was putting the moves on you that very moment he wasn’t there to do anything about it. What if he’d missed his chance? He growled, trying to take more of his own weight off of Aaron but his leg burned and ached.

“Ain’t that bad.” He tried to brush it off, but it was, in fact, that bad. He hadn’t seen the damn trap, the walker backing him right onto it. He was lucky the dead bastard didn’t take a chunk of him when he went down, but Aaron was quick. Had Daryl been alone, he’d likely be snarling and growling on the ground with his calf still locked within that metal.

“Keep telling yourself that and maybe your stubbornness will keep you on your feet until we can make it back.” The other man huffed. “First Eric, now you. I swear, I’m cursed.” Daryl groaned but couldn’t disagree.

Christ. The archer’s head was fucked. He couldn’t focus with images of you running rampant at the forefront of his mind. The way you would smile when you saw him; how you’d laugh when he’d huff at Dia for calling him Dorl; you’d have him for dinner a few times a week and it was less and less awkward.

He was so fucked.

“Open the gate!” Aaron called urgently. Daryl hadn’t even been paying attention but maybe zoning out was what brought him that far with such an injury. The toe of his boot was dragging, his leg both numb and throbbing in a way he couldn’t seem to understand was even possible. Sasha was yelling, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. He was too busy trying to look over his shoulder at the steady crimson trail that followed them. Would walkers follow it right to the gates? “Jesus, okay. I’m going to get help to carry you to the infirmary.”

“Fuck Pete. Gimme Y/N or just take me home.” Daryl slurred, his head falling back against the metal just inside the gates. He was fading, tired and smothered by a dark cloud that was creeping into the edges of his vision and mind. He knew he wouldn’t die from this, but damn, did it still suck.

“Dorl! Mama, Dorl boo-boo!”

Tiny, warm hands were on his face. He was cold, didn’t even realize it. Big blue eyes were hovering right in front of his face, a little mouth between chubby cheeks speaking with an urgency that made him want to scoop her up and soothe the worry. “Dia.” He breathed, his mind finally catching up, though he wasn’t sure for how long.

“Nada kiss boo-boo.”

Daryl chuckled breathlessly but pulled the little girl against his chest. “Nah, baby girl, don’t kiss that boo-boo. S’gross.” Big crocodile tears were forming and falling, and his heart ached. His little girl was never supposed to cry, never supposed to even be sad. “M’okay. Your mama’s gonna make it all better, you’ll see.”

“Mama, Dorl got big boo-boo.”

“I see that, baby. Can you move so mommy can take a look?” You were there, your voice a balm to the pain that was slowly fading.

“She’s alright.” Daryl shifted Nadia to his side, letting her hold on with her head on his filthy chest. You’d have to give her a bath later and somehow, he had the energy to feel bad about that.

“Jesus, Daryl, what did you do?” You were cutting the lower part of his pant leg, right there on the street, but he didn’t have it in him to see who might be watching. He muttered bear trap but didn’t really recall it being his voice. Was it even him?

The child holding to him made a noise when the wound was revealed, jagged punctures that still steadily bled and she shouldn’t be seeing that. Why wasn’t someone taking her away? “Ssh. S’okay, Dia. Just look at me—can ya hum that song ya always do when we take ya home?” A tiny sniffle but then a little tune in his ear.

“What happened? He okay?” Rick.

“Daryl!” Ah, Carol. Good.

“Hey, take her, would ya? Don’t need to be here.” He was gentle if not weak when he tried to hand off Nadia, kissing one of her little hands when he finally peeled them away from his neck. “M’a be okay, Dia.” She cried. Even as Carol promised her cookies and brownies, she cried and his heart ached more than his leg. He barely caught the word disinfect before the hellfire in his leg struck him like a hammer to the head and he knew no more.

“S’not that big’a deal. I can take care’a myself at home.” Daryl grimaced and watched you moving things around in your living room. You disappeared and returned several moments later with pillows and blankets.

“I know you can, but I also know you’re stubborn as a mule and you’ll try to go out of those gates behind Aaron within a day.” He barely opened his mouth before you held up an authoritative finger. “Don’t lie to me, Daryl Dixon. And don’t pretend I don’t know at least a little by now.”

“Dorl!”

Before he could process her voice, the archer had a lapful of toddler. It was hazy but he could remember how he felt at the gate, the protective instinct, the absolute knowledge that Nadia was his no matter how untrue it was. He couldn’t seem to shake it.

“Hey, Dia.”

“Be careful of his boo-boo, sweetie.” You admonished in the most gentle tone while propping Daryl’s leg up on a pillow. “He’s going to stay with us for a few days so I can keep an eye on him.”

“Why?” Came the innocent reply.

“Because Daryl is naughty and doesn’t like to listen when he’s told he can’t do something. Like you with Miss Carol’s cookies.”

Nadia gasped dramatically and turned those big blues to Daryl. “Dorl takes cookies.”

Glancing at you, expression bland, he nodded. “Yeah, I take the cookies.”

“So he has to stay right here on this couch unless mommy is helping him, okay? Can you be my junior nurse and make sure he stays put?”

“That ain’t fair.” Daryl objected with an indignant pout.

“Why? Because you know it’ll work?”

Daryl grunted and crossed his arms. He was in for a long few days.

A week later, the stitches were out but there was residual swelling that was hindering healing. Nothing to worry about, you had told him.

“Why ain’t Ken wearin’ no clothes?” Daryl was concerned to be ‘playing Barbies’ when Barbie wore a bathing suit and Ken was naked as the day he was—assembled? So far he’d been able to avoid dialogue and just bounce the doll around with facial expressions that kept the toddler occupied. “Seems a lil’ fucked up.”

“You try finding doll clothes nowadays.” There was laughter in your voice and tenderness in your touch while you cleaned the wound and changed the dressings. Only a couple more days of that.

“Maybe I will.” The archer mused, standing the doll on top of Nadia’s head, keeping it there with his finger on the top. Her little arms could only reach the legs, facing reddening and scrunching with giggles.

“Time to pick up your toys. Daryl needs to rest and you, missy, need to get to bed.”

“Noooooo.”

“Don’t sass your mama.” Daryl dropped the doll in favor of patting the kid on the head. “G’on now.” The archer dropped an arm outward, fully expecting the hug that was incoming. “Night, kid.”

“Nigh’ night’, dada.”

It was at that moment Daryl Dixon completely forgot how to breathe. His eyes were already on yours before the kid decided to drop that bomb and skip away to brush her teeth like she hadn’t just turned his world upside down.

“M’sorry. M’so sorry. I don’t—she didn’t—”

“I’m just—” you interrupted, backing toward the doorway, “I need to put her to bed.” You stumbled out of the room as if he were chasing you.

He wasn’t sure he could move if he tried. His heart was in his nose, his stomach in his ass, and his lungs were plaited around his spine. Why would the kid call him dada? It made no sense. A couple of months wasn’t long enough for anything like that. Right? Fuck, he needed to talk to Carol. His brain was malfunctioning. He couldn’t process this.

Throwing off the blankets, Daryl sat up, levering to his feet. He still had a limp but it was easier now. Shuffling to the exit, he stopped, staring at the handle of the closed door. You’d been doing that now, hadn’t you? He said something once and you had listened.

“So you’re just gonna run away after that, is that it?”

The archer spun so fast that he lost his balance, righting himself with a hand on the wall. “It ain’t—I was—just needed to talk to Carol.” He admitted. His shirt was damp and he was certain he would vomit.

“She didn’t mean anything by it, Daryl. I’ll talk to her.” You were wringing your hands, your chin wobbling.

Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. He had the sudden desire to hug you but didn’t dare move. Aside from casual touches, bumping shoulders in jest, and of course the occasional wound treatment, the two of you had never physically interacted. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. Wow, had he thought about it. “I know she didn’t mean nothin’.” Ouch. Somehow that revelation was worse.

“She loves you, Daryl. I’ll talk to her, I promise. Please don’t walk out on her. On—on me.”

He likely looked like an idiot hobbling half the distance to where you stood. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere.” When you nodded and dropped your head, he dared another unsteady step. “M’a stay as long as ya want me here. You an’ Dia.” With one hand, he touched your shoulder and left the decision up to you. You needed no further prompting to step into his arms. For a moment, nothing else mattered. But then you were stepping back.

“Okay.” You nodded, turning your head to wipe away a tear you thought he didn’t already notice. “I like having you here.” He returned the nod silently.

Nothing else was said. Daryl went back to the couch, you went to get ready for bed. The night went on with both you and Daryl feeling more alone than ever.

“She really called you dada?” Carol asked in an excited whisper, the wide grin on her face in direct contrast to Daryl’s frown. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“No!” He shot back immediately, looking over his shoulder at the little girl playing on the living room floor. They had somehow even managed to get her to sit next to Judith’s playpen, so long as Daryl didn’t touch Lil’ Asskicker, peace remained. “I mean, yeah. Fuck, I dunno what I mean, Carol.”

“Daryl.” The seriousness in her tone brought his gaze to hers, flinching when he found her leaning on her elbows much closer than she had been just a moment ago. “I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly.”

“Ain’t never lied to ya.”

“Okay.” Her eyes, just as blue as his own, narrowed. “Do you love that little girl?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” It was true. It was so different from how he loved Judith but yet completely the same. He would give anything for her to have been his, to have been there while you carried her. He wanted to spit on the man that tried to force you to end it. He couldn’t imagine a world without you and little Nadia anymore. It was as if the two of you were the missing pieces that could give him a chance to be whole.

“And Y/N?”

“What?”

“Do you love Y/N?” Carol leaned back a little, her gaze no less intense.

“S’a lil’ more—I, uh—”

“I said STOP!”

Daryl was on his feet instantly at the sound of your voice, running outside. His limp was less profound and didn’t hinder him from descending the steps to see you across the street with your arm in Spencer’s grasp. You were likely on your way to collect Nadia.

“Come on, Y/N. You’re beautiful, and I’ve seen the way you look at me.” Spencer pulled you toward him.

“You’re delusional!”

“Stop being such a prude. You’ve got a kid. You think you got any other options out there?”

“Yeah! She does!” Daryl’s fist had already connected before the other man had even realized he was approaching. The archer stepped in front of you and stayed there, coiled to attack but holding steady until he was given a reason.

“You?” Spencer spat, literally, a glob of blood and saliva landing next to Daryl’s boot. “The dirty redneck everyone’s afraid of? That’s laughable.”

Daryl started to move until he felt the smallest tug on his jeans. Nadia was looking up at him, equal parts curious and afraid.

“Dada mad?”

Your arms encircled his stomach with whispers of he’s not worth it repeated over his shoulder. “Get the fuck outta here an’ don’t come near my girls again.” The archer waited, arching a brow when Spencer hesitated.

“You heard him.” Rick stepped up to Daryl’s left, Michonne and Carol on this right. “Best be going now.” Spitting again, the man curled his lip and scrambled to his feet, stomping off toward his mother’s home. “Well, that’s gonna be a problem.”

“I’ll go talk to Deanna.” Maggie offered, nodding at Rick but stopping to squeeze Daryl’s arm on her way by. What the fuck? Had everyone noticed?

“We should make ourselves scarce.” Michonne suggested with a knowing grin.

Once they were all out of sight, Daryl deflated, one hand falling to the top of Nadia’s head. “Ain’t angry, Dia.” She sniffled and seemed to only hug his leg tighter. When it was clear he couldn’t turn with the added weight to his injured leg, you stepped around in front of him.

“Your girls?” You asked, expression so terrifyingly unreadable.

“I just—he needed to leave an’ I didn’t want him to think he could come back ‘round.” His bottom lip was instantly being gnawed between his teeth. “Needed to make sure ya were okay.”

“So, we’re not your girls?” There was definitely disappointment there. You were wringing your hands again before reaching toward Nadia.

“I mean, if ya—yeah.” Daryl swallowed hard. “Yeah, you’re my girls. Have been for a while. M’just a idiot an’ I was—I’m scared. Don’t wanna be like my old man.”

You hummed, stepping into him to brush back the fringe across his eyes. “You haven’t told me anything about your parents, but I’m willing to listen. I wanna know everything about you.”

“Me too—’bout you, I mean. ‘Bout Dia.” He was reaching for your face, leaning in just as you did. His lips barely brushed yours before there came another tug at his jeans again.

“Home, dada.”

You laughed while Daryl just looked stricken and confused. “You heard her, Daryl. Let’s go home and figure this out.”

One Year Later

“Daddy! Lookit picture!!”

Daryl looked up from the mess of rabbits he was skinning on the porch, blowing upward to move some of the hair from his eyes. The almost four year old was sprinting down the street from the Grimes’ house, a piece of paper waving in her grip above her head. He waved to Michonne who had been watching Nadia make it back safely. “Whatcha got there, Dia?” She was grinning from ear to ear when she presented it to him, holding it out in front of her because ew no when he reached for it with bloody fingers.

There were three stick figures. One was obviously him if the crazy hair and scribbled attempt at a crossbow were anything to go by. A small figure was at his side, dark hair and a big smile: Nadia. And then there was you. Daryl snorted. You were a stick figure with a circle drawn around the middle.

“Your mama’s gonna ‘preciate that, kid.”

“Appreciate what?” You stepped out with two glasses of water, placing them on the table and resting your hand on your swollen belly. Nadia proudly displayed the drawing and received a big smile and mhm, so pretty from you while Daryl snickered into his shoulder. “Go put it on the fridge, baby, and wash your hands. Supper’s nearly ready.”

“Okay, mama!” And off she went in a blur.

“Not funny, Dixon.” You dug your bare toes into his lower back until he yelped.

“S’a little funny.” He wiped his knife across his jeans.

“About as funny as you cleaning these rabbits on my front porch.” He ducked his head sheepishly when he turned to watch you lower into your chair.

“I’ll clean it up, Sunshine. Don’t get all uppity ‘bout it.” Rising from his perch, he gathered the meat onto a parchment you had given him and wrapped it, leaving the bones and fur to handle later. “Dia! C’mere!” Moving at inhuman speed, she was looking up at him from the doorway the next second. Daryl jerked his chin toward a bag on the table beside his water glass. “Broughtcha somethin’ back.”

You leaned forward with curiosity and watched your daughter pull out the contents of the bag, barely catching a glimpse of the different colors before Nadia hugged Daryl’s leg and disappeared back inside with squeals of delight echoing in her wake.

“What did you bring her?”

Daryl smirked. “Told ya I’d find clothes for them dolls.”

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cleocat246 · 20 days

Text

I don’t believe in colors…(Soulmate Au)

Summary: What could possibly happen when two people that grew up with no example of a healthy relationship are destined soulmates?

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female! Reader

Prison Era

Genre: Angst, Strangers to Soulmates to Enemies to Friends (?), kind of neutral/happy ending.

Warnings: angst, violence, mentions of abusive relationships, toxic behavior, swearing, mentions of death, small brief mention of sexual abuse attempt(not by Daryl), mentions of domestic violence against children and woman. (Let me know if I forgot anything)

Word count: 7,111

A/N: When I had the idea for this, I didn’t think it would become so angsty as it is. The characters just took control of the story and this is the result. I tried to soften in the end, but I didn’t see any other way of finishing this one shot if not like this to be coherent to the characters evolution.

In the world you lived before there were a thing that they called soulmates. Everyone had one and should find in their lives, and how would you know if you find your soulmate? Well… you couldn’t see colors until you met the person destined to you.

Sometimes people would become tired of waiting to meet their soulmates, so they would settle with a person they liked but wasn’t their destined one, and that is what you thought happened to your parents. They never admitted it clearly to you, they told you fairytales about soulmates when you were little and they always told you they were soulmates, but their relationship told you otherwise. You thought they were trying to feed that fantasy on you.

You’ve seen in your friends’ house before, how their parents were. They had heart eyes at each other almost always, treated each other good and were really partners. Not that you believed soulmates didn’t have their differences, you knew they fought like every other couple, but it was never so intense like it was back at your home.

Your parents would fight every single day, over stupid things or things from their past that they should have already forgiven each other. Both your parents had a short temper, your father would punch, kick and break everything at home, while your mother would provoke him and elicit more fight between them. As soon as you could, you left home, trying to leave everything behind. They were good parents, they loved you and all, but their toxicity against each other spilled over you all the time and you couldn’t help not feeling emotionally involved in it. Even when you lived alone you couldn’t help but jump when you heard any slightly high noise thinking it was you father having another outburst, and you didn’t even lived with them anymore. So, because of them you didn’t believe soulmates were real, even though you had been proven by many people that it indeed was real. In your mind, you also felt like you were cursed and just like your parents you weren’t destined to find your soulmate.

The world now was very different than it used to be before, there were dead people that in reality were undead walking around everywhere and killing the living. When the outbreak happened, you were alone. You tried contacting your family but they never answered the phone. Now you think that by that time they were probably already dead. In the months following the end of the world you had been in many different groups, finding friends in some, just to lose them to the dead ones or for the sons of bitches alive ones. Other times you ended up in groups that had no good people and which you didn’t want to be related, so you’d escape in the middle of night and try to distance yourself the maximum from them.

With the end of the world, you would never find your soulmate, not that you wanted to. You didn’t believe on this shit anymore. Now you were alone, you’d rather stay like this than to start liking people and have they dying, or to be with the wrong people again.

You were now in a small town in Georgia, you didn’t even know the name of the city, but it didn’t matter anymore. You were looking for some place you could stay, maybe a night or two… who knows. You found a small market that still had some supply, so you started taking everything that you think could be useful and that you could carry by yourself. You were in the back of the market when you heard the front door opening, you hid behind a shelf and listened to a man and a woman talking. You tried to guide yourself by their voices so you would not encounter them and leave silently. You had your gun in your hand, you were bypassing the shelf when between one corridor and the other you came face to face to a brunette woman and an asian man. You hold your gun in their direction and they pointed theirs at your.

“I don’t wanna problem. Just took some supplies and I’m leaving.” You told them.

“Who are you?” The woman asked.

“I’m no one. It doesn’t matter, we’re not seeing each other again after today.” You answered while analyzing both of them and all the ways you could escape them.

“How can we know if you’re not gonna attack us?” The man asked.

“I’d already have attacked you if I wanted, I hid because I wanted to leave without being noticed. It’s not like I can trust you’re not attacking me too.” They didn’t seem like bad people, but you could see they were as cautious as you were.

“You can go, as long as you don’t try anything against us, we’re not going to attack you.” The woman said and she and the guy let you pass, still pointing the gun at you.

You walked backwards still pointing the gun at them, till you reached the front door. When you were going to open the door and leave you saw a small herd of deads coming on the street.

“Fuck.” You cursed going back in their direction. “Go to the back, there are many deads coming.”

They looked to see if it was true and went to the back of store with you. You hid behind the shelves sometimes checking to see if they were still passing. Your plans of staying around for more than one day could be forgotten it wasn’t safe around here.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” The woman asked you.

“Yes, I do.” You lied.

“If you don’t we have a place, maybe you could come with us. You just need to answer some questions.” She said, You didn’t even know each other’s names, why were she trusting you that they had a place.

“We have a group, there’s more people. It’s safer.” The young man completed.

“I don’t do groups anymore.” You answered, finding a shelf of condiments very interesting. “I’m better alone.”

“We have fences, and walls. It’s well protected where we are. Our group have survived well since the beginning.” She said.

“Lucky you, everybody I met along the way is dead and the ones that aren’t, I wish they were.” You answered dryly.

“I’m Maggie.” The woman said, You didn’t want to know their names, you just wanted to go. “He’s Gleen.”

You didn’t say anything, it made the couple start to think about everything that might have happened to you and your groups so you would be like this. Meanwhile, you thought that maybe, a name would not be so harmful. It was just a word after all.

“Y/N.” You said.

Should you trust people again? Should you be close to people again and hurt when they die and leave you alone in this world one more time? What if they were like the others?

“How many walkers did you kill?” Glenn asked you, and you got a little confused.

“Walkers?” You asked back, what the hell was this?

“The dead people walking around.” He clarified.

“I don’t know, do you keep a track on that? Would never be able to count.” This question was an absurd who would count it and remember the numbers days after.

“How many people did you kill?” He asked you again. What?

“2, maybe 3.” You answered. “These questions are getting weird.”

“Why?” Maggie asked you, this was an important one.

“One man tried to hurt my friend, I had to do it to save her, but well… she died either way. The other two, was a group that I found when I was alone, they took me in, but they weren’t good people. Those men they… tried…” You looked at Maggie, you didn’t know why you were giving all this details to them, but she was a woman, she would understand. “… you know. I killed one of them trying to escape, the other one was hurt and unconscious when I left, so I don’t know if he counts as one of the people I killed.”

“Come with us.” She said, Rick was probably going to be mad at them, but something told her that she needed to take you in, and if Maggie made a decision Glenn trusted her. “If you don’t like it there, you can leave.”

You looked at them, and you didn’t believe on that shit of trust your inner voice or feel people energy, but in fact your inner voice said you should go with them and you felt they had a good energy. Maybe… it was instinct, well, on instincts you could believe.

“Ok, I’m going with you. Don’t try to keep me there if I don’t want to, and if you do, know that’ll find my way out. No matter how.” You said, you wanted this to be a warning to them, but they just saw someone that was hurt by the end of the world just like them and that because of this had some trust issues, just like them. They couldn’t blame you, they didn’t trust people easily too.

“Perfect. We’re getting what we need and then we’re going.” Maggie said enthusiastically.

They asked for your help and you helped them, between all the things they caught there was baby formula, so apparently their group had a baby. When you had got everything they needed, you stored it on their car and you entered in the back seat while the couple went on the front.

The ride was silent most of the time, except for the couple chatting all the time. At some point, Maggie decided to make a conversation with you.

“So, Y/N… have you found your soulmate yet?” You almost rolled your eyes, why everyone was so obsessed with it?

“Does it look like I did?” You couldn’t contain the bitter answer leaving your lips as a natural answer. “He’s pretty much dead already, if he exists. I don’t believe in soulmates.”

“Well, Glenn and I are soulmates, so you should believe if we exist.” She answered trying to convince you. Well, you believed people before and they were lying.

“ I can’t see through your eyes, and as I can’t see… I don’t believe in colors, in the same way I don’t believe in soulmates.” You answered as if it was the most logical thing, if you can’t see, it doesn’t exists.

“You sound just like our friend… he doesn’t believe on all of this too. Maybe you’ll be good friends.” Glenn commented from the driver seat. You had the feeling you’d want to leave that place soon enough if everybody was like them… otherwise you’d melt your heart again, and you’d suffer again. You could be a bitter person, but you also enjoyed having good people around you. You didn’t have many friends in the old world, but you had the best and they were just as pleasant as these people sounded to be, You didn’t want to have your hopes high.

The rest of the trip was silent on your side, they didn’t try to push you to talk again, and you were glad about it, because you didn’t want to get more involved than you already were by going with these people. When you arrived, you discovered that their place was a prison. Indeed a good place for a group to build something, but for how long? Was it really safe? The gates opened and the car drove up the highest point in the prison, stopping near one of the blocks.

Glenn and Maggie left the car, and you followed them grabbing your backpack. People started to gather around and one man came furiously in your direction. “What did I tell you about bringing strangers?” He throw the words at the couple.

“She was alone Rick and she saved us from a herd.” Maggie said. No, you didn’t. You just let them know there was a herd coming, what they did after that was their choice.

“We made her the questions, she can be helpful and she’s not a danger for us.” Glenn said.

“Well, that we’ll see…” the Rick guy told eyeing you as if he stared long enough he’d be inside your mind and see your true intentions. “Take everything that can be used as weapon from her, we’ll have her separated from us.”

“Wait! Nobody said I’d be unarmed here.” You protested giving a step backwards. “I’m not staying in a place I am outnumbered and with no weapon.”

“These are the rules to stay, we can’t trust you just now. Once we know you’re reliable you’ll have your guns back.” Rick said making it clear there was no negotiation.

“Fine, so I’m leaving. I didn’t want to come to start with, these two convinced me. I’ve been on my own all this time, I don’t need this.” You finished moving your finger around to indicate the prison.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” You heard a raspy voice coming from behind you in the same moment you took your backpack and turned around to go to the exit.

When you turned around there happened to be a tall man approaching the group, wearing sleeveless shirts showing his well built arms and carrying a crossbow, and when your eyes met his, you knew you were fucked. The world around you became bright and colorful all at once, the sun light didn’t affect you much before, but now it was almost blinding with all the light and colors. You put your hand on your forehead trying to protect your eyes and both of you said one single word.

“Fuck.”

Everyone around, or at least the ones that had already experienced it, knew what was happening and they couldn’t be more in shock. Maggie felt as if she was a prophet that made a divination that you had something to do with them. Glenn couldn’t believe in his eyes, in the whole world these two people with the same beliefs, really? Hershel had a knowing smile on his face, he just wanted to go to the archer and tell him ‘I told you so, son’, but in this moment he couldn’t do it. You came out from the daze you were in, a million thoughts running on your head.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m definitely leaving.” You said looking to the man that had some intensity in his blue eyes that you couldn’t quite read, and you didn’t want to.

You started to go down the hill on the direction of the gates, everyone was shocked and didn’t understand your reaction. Soon, you were stopped by Maggie that ran and jumped in front of you.

“You can’t go.” She said, and you laughed dryly.

“You said no one would keep me here if I didn’t want. So, yes, I can.” You replied trying to continue going by walking to the other side.

“You found your soulmate, you can’t just live like this.” She said, and this time you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Do you have any idea of how many people wish they could find their soulmates?” Oh, you had an idea.

“I can, and I’m leaving.” You replied. “This soulmate bullshit isn’t real and the colors, they’re useless, I lived well enough without them.”

“I understand, you’re panicking. I panicked too when I first met Glenn, but look we’re here now.” Maggie told you about her experience trying to convince you.

Soon Glenn, showed by Maggie’s side to try to reason with you. “Are you going to lose your chance of love?”

“Love is a lie, and you’re stupid if you believe on it.” You spat the words and opened you way between him and Maggie continuing your path.

Daryl stayed glued at his spot, no reaction came from him. He never believed on soulmates, his parents obviously weren’t soulmates, and he never thought that him a Dixon, was worthy of find his. He didn’t even think he had one, if soulmates were real, and he new they weren’t. All the group observed the situation and had no idea on what to do. Glenn and Maggie tried their best to convince you to stay, but they weren’t successful. Against his own beliefs on what was better for the group, Rick followed you and when you were almost at the gate he stopped you.

“Stay.” He said blocking your way to the gate.

“Now, you want me to stay? Just because apparently I’m your friend’s soulmate. Tell him, he can shove the colors up in his…” Rick interrupted you before you could complete what you were going to say.

“Stay, you can keep your weapons. Whatever. If Glenn and Maggie trust you, I’m going to trust you too.” He insisted, how could he change his mind completely? If he trusted the couple so badly he would have accepted you right away.

Even though Rick never had a soulmate, he knew they were real, because he saw how his parents were. He really loved Lori, his late wife, but they weren’t soulmates. He couldn’t just let you go away and let Daryl lose his chance on happiness. The archer deserved to be happy, he was a good man and had become a good friend of his, and he couldn’t let his stubbornness, and yours, get on Daryl’s Happiness way.

“Ok, I think. I’m going to stay some days and see if I stay here or not.” You replied after a moment of thinking between kicking his balls and running away, and staying here with your not-soulmate and all these people.

“Good. Follow me, I’m going to introduce you to the others. I’m Rick.” He told you while you went back up the hill.

“Y/N.” You simply answered, he was not nice with you in the beginning, you’re not going to be nice to him too.

When you were back up there, he started presenting you all the people. You got to know Hershel, an elderly man that was Maggie’s father and the doctor of the group. You met Carol a sympathetic short haired woman. Then, Rick turned to the blue eyed man that happened to be your ‘soulmate’.

“This is Daryl Dixon. Daryl, this is Y/N” he introduced you to each other, to all the others you had greeted, used the education your parents gave you, they may had been a shitty couple, but they were really good parents. But HIM? You didn’t move one muscle on your face to try being more pleasant, neither did he. He grunted in response, so you grunted back at him.

While that Rick observed both of you and thought that this was going to be a long road. After your grunt exchange with the archer, you followed Rick inside where they had a kind of kitchen. Since you were staying there you opened you backpack and left all the food you had stored in your backpack for the next days. They wouldn’t last too long anyway. A young boy came running to Rick and called him Dad, well the angry man from earlier really had something to protect. He presented the kid as Carl.

“If you want, I can help him with school things. I used to work with kids.” You said, and that was true. It was the last thing you thought you’d ever do in your life, but you ended up working with kids, and you did love the little monsters.

“Ugh… it would be good, but we lost all the school books he had.” He said scratching the back of his neck, part because of the book situation and the other part because he didn’t want to trust his kid to you, but he also wanted to make you feel part of the group so you and Daryl could understand each other.

“Maybe we can look at some school if we find something.” You commented.

Then a young blonde girl came from a gate that took to another part of the compound, carrying a baby on her arms. You learned she was Maggie’s sister and the baby was Judith, Rick’s newborn daughter.

“She’s so cute!” You said, you couldn’t resist to a beautiful baby. You weren’t comfortable with them, but you couldn’t help it when you saw little Judith. “Can I carry her a little bit? Never thought I’d see a baby again.”

Before Rick could say anything, someone spoke for him. “Ya ain’t touchin’ lil ass kicker!” The archer entered the room.

“Last time I checked, the name of her father was Rick Grimes and not Daryl Dixon.” You simply couldn’t not talk back.

“Nobody is going to touch her, because I’m going to take my baby girl right now, cause I missed her so much.” Rick took Jude from Beth’s arms in an attempt to not let you have his daughter, but also to say that’s not because he didn’t trust you, he just didn’t want you and Daryl fighting.

Daryl rolled his eyes at Rick, he knew the ex-sheriff deputy didn’t like strangers touching his kids or close to his kids. So, why not saying it and try to do amends? After the lady named Carol helped you settle in, there was an empty cell that could be yours.

The days passed and the group started to get used to you and you were also getting used to them. Even if you really wanted to run from the place and don’t look back, you had to admit that you were getting attached to these people, something that you didn’t want to happen. Your relation with Daryl didn’t get any better, you talked to each other when necessary and Rick seemed to like to put you two together in activities such as keeping watch and going on runs. Both of you would do everything fighting from beginning to end, at least on watches you stayed most of the time in silence. He liked to blame you for everything that went wrong on the activities you were together, if you didn’t do something the exactly same way he does, he’d get mad and argue with you.

The both of you had just arrived from a run and the others observed as you approached the compound on Daryl’s bike.

“Why don’t they just kiss each other and make out?” Maggie commented to Rick, Glenn and Carol. “It’s obvious this is all sexual tension between them.”

“They’ll at the right time.” Rick replied, even though there was no evolution on your relationship with the archer. “In the meantime, let’s continue to make them work together.”

Once you got off from the bike the group surrounded you to know how it went and what you have brought. When Rick opened his mouth to ask you, you just sighed, but Daryl… he erupted in anger like a damn volcano. “Ask her, how it went! ‘Cause it was shit ‘cause of’er!”

“Me? Really? It’s not my fault if you pick on me because of everything! I can’t even breath wrong!” You bursted and faster than the other times you forgot the whole group was watching.

“Ya attracted all those walkers to us with the tantrum ya threw!” He observed making you even angrier.

“Yes! I freaked out! Because you were picking on my fucking breathing! We had just run from walkers and had finally been able to mislead them, and you were worried with my fucking breathing that they couldn’t even listen to! How did you expect me to breath after a run?!” He was making no sense. It was ridiculous how he found excuses to fight with you.

“I expected ya to not be so infuriating!” He didn’t want to let you win.

“Look, I don’t like you. You don’t like me. So make me a favor, don’t talk to me even on runs. Just like we do during the watches. It’s gonna be better for the group.” Everybody was stupefied, this had been the worst fight you had in all the history of fights you had, which were many for the short period of time you were with the group.

“The heavens must really dislike me to send a soulmate jus’ like ya.“ he spit the words without even noticing that he was talking about something he didn’t believe.

“I have no soulmate! Soulmates don’t exist!” You exploded. “If you’re my soulmate, where were you? Where were you when I most needed? Where were you when I wanted to believe in this shit to prove me I was wrong? Where were you when the world ended? Where the fuck were you all the times I was left alone!?”

When you finished you realized you had talked too much, you had even said things you didn’t know you felt. You had tears in your eyes, he was struck and the others were speechless. You opened your bag, took your gun and knife, and then an iron long thing that you found on the patio, and went to Rick.

“Rick, open the gates for me. Please.” You asked.

“You can’t leave in this state, I couldn’t permit…” he tried to reason with you.

“I’m not going far. I’ll be ok, open it. Please.” You asked one more time and you hoped he would say yes before your tears fell down in front of everyone.

He said nothing, just turned his back and descended the hills, you followed him till the gate.

“Be careful” he said opening the gate.

“I’m not going far, just gonna kill some walkers around the fence.” You replied, before leaving to kill some walkers and let your feelings out.

Once you found the first one, the iron thing went straight into it’s skull. You pulled the metal and discarded the body going to the next, to the next, to the next, to the next… while you killed each of them, you cried. You cried like you haven’t cried in months. Also, you let the anger you felt go in each walker you killed.

While you were releasing all your feelings on the walkers, Daryl, Rick, Carol and Maggie observed you from afar. “Look, I bet she’s imagining the walkers head ‘s mine.” Daryl tried to joke, which was not well received by the others.

“This isn’t a time for jokes Daryl, she was crying.” Carol reprehended him. “And it’s also not healthy she going outside kill walkers when she’s angry at you.”

“Better them than me.” The archer simply replied. He didn’t want to be defeated, to lose the battle, but he couldn’t deny that your words were still ringing in his ears and that the tears he saw in your eyes shattered something inside him. “Look, she was the one that started all this shit. She looked at me and said ‘yeah, I’m really leaving.’” He said trying to make a high pitched voice for you in the end.

“Are you telling us that all this war between you two, is because you think she decided to leave when she saw you were her soulmate?” Maggie asked the archer that just shrugged. “ are you a man or boy? Seriously?”

“If she doesn’t like wha’ she got, I don’t need to like wha’ I got.” He said. “And, I never believed in that soulmate shit.”

“Don’t believe and half an hour ago said ‘heaven must dislike me for givin’ me a soulmate like ya’, yeah, you really convinced us that you don’t believe in it.” Rick mocked his friend.

“She went through a lot Daryl.” Maggie said, observing like you fought outside the security of the prison worried her. “I don’t know the whole story, but she got traumas and she lost people, just like us. Just like you. Did you ever stopped to think why she doesn’t ‘believe’ in soulmates too? Maybe… the both of you are really a pair made in heaven, you just need to stop hurting each other.”

It was getting late, the day was almost over and there was little time for everything to be completely dark. You hadn’t come back yet, you were still there killing walkers just like if they didn’t tire you at all. The group observed you, it was already time for them to intervene, they couldn’t let you out there anymore.

“Daryl, go bring her inside.” Rick told the redneck.

“Why me? She ain’t comin’ with me.” He protested, from all the people that he could ask, Daryl didn’t think he was the best option.

“You caused this, you bring her back.” Rick said pointing at the woman that was still hitting walkers brains. “ don’t give me that look, I know you both are guilty, but this time you really exaggerated.”

The hunter grunted and left to the gates stomping his feet just like when a child have to do something the parents asked but they don’t want to. His crossbow on his shoulder, knife on his waist and the keys to open the gate in his hand. He opened the gate, closed it and walked in the direction where you were killing walkers non stop. When he got close to you, he took his crossbow and hit the last walker you were going to kill. When the walker fell to the ground, an arrow in the middle of its head you turned around and saw the archer coming in your direction.

“It was mine! You had no right to kill it!” You protested all the anger you had towards him coming back.

“Last time I checked walkers were no one’s property, sweetheart. It’s fair game.” He replied you sarcastically. “The show is over, let’s go back inside.”

“Fuck you! I’m going nowhere with you.” You threw him your middle finger and started walking farther from the entrance to the prison.

“Never told ya had a choice…” He said right before he caught you and threw you over his shoulder, your upper half on his back and your ass right at his shoulder.

“Put. Me. Down. DIXON!” You’d punch his back and try to kick his stomach, but his hold on your leg stopped you of being able to do so.

“That’s ma name.” He said walking with you in the direction of the gates. “Stop being a brat.”

“I hate you!”

Punches. Kicks. Grunts.

“I know.”

“When you put me down, I’m gonna kick your balls up your ass…” you threatened him.

“I’d like to see ya try.” He replied nonchalantly, while he put the gate aside just enough to enter with you, closing it right after and locking.

“We’re inside. Put me down.”

He ignored you going up the hill still carrying you.

“You know that I’m armed and I have this thing, I don’t know what it is, in my hand that can go through walkers brains and that I can use against you.” You threatened him, but he knew you wouldn’t do that. You were tough, but he also knew that you knew he wasn’t going to do anything against you, so you’d not actually try to kill him.

“Yeah, I know. If ya wanted, ya’d had already killed me with this thing.” He replied no worry in his voice. You just felt like a fraud not being able to threaten him and get what you wanted. “Yer order is delivered sir.” Daryl said as soon as you were in front of the buildings, the others waiting for you, he put you down.

You were covered in walker blood, your head, face, hair, clothes, arms… Your face, a mess of blood, sweat and tears, literally. You looked at Rick and you knew he was the one that sent Daryl there, also what Daryl said implied it a little.

“You could just had called me, Rick.” You told the ex sheriff deputy.

You took your backpack that was still on the ground and just shoved your gun and knife inside it. Heading inside you sighed heavily now being aware of the tiredness of your body and feeling disgusted by all the dirt and walker blood on you. You dropped your things on your cell, took a new change of clothes, a towel and went to the showers.

Later that day in the silence of your cell, you felt an uneasy feeling. You missed your family, you missed your fucked up family… you didn’t miss the everyday life you had when you were younger, all the fights, hurtful words and broken furniture around the house, but you missed the little nice moments, playing with your dad when you were little, the comforting embrace of your mother when you needed it and the small time between all the fights that seemed like bad things would never happen again, just to happen a few hours/days later.

You had managed to keep some photos of your family with you. Your parents when they were still dating, you and them in a park picnicking when you were five and 2 photos from your high school and college graduation. You smiled at the pictures, but you remembered that things were not exactly fine in most of them. Now that you could see colors, even though you were not an expert, you could see that the clothes were chosen just by appearance because the colors didn’t match at all. They never could see colors.

“Fucking liars, you couldn’t see shit.” You sniffled, you were crying with all the memories.

You got up from the bed and went downstairs, you didn’t know what made you do that, maybe you were just tired or maybe you weren’t on your right mind. You thought it would take a longer time to find what you were looking for, but like a joke of destiny you soon found what you wanted in that moment. In the end of the stairs Daryl Dixon was standing, and you didn’t know but he was pretty much looking for the same thing as you.

“Can we talk?” You both said and you couldn’t help but smile ironically. That was the first time that Daryl saw you smiling, at least at him. It wasn’t as you giving him a happy smile, but it was one either way. The corner of his mouth quirked a little for a second at the sight of yours.

You walked outside of the compound and sat on a bench. Everything was pitch black, except for where the moonlight hit and Daryl’s lighter lighting up his cigar. There was a long silence between you, apparently both thinking about the best words to say.

“I’m sorry.” You said, the words feeling strange on your tongue. There was a long time you didn’t use this word.

“For wha’?” Daryl asked blowing some smoke.

“Everything, except for not breathing or walking in the correct way.” You didn’t even know what made you decide to talk to him… maybe, you didn’t want to be like them, maybe it was time to stop reproducing their mistakes.

“Look, she got some sense of humor…” he replied at your remark about your breathing and walking. “ ‘m sorry for being an asshole.”

A silence took place again. ‘And what now?’, you thought. Would everything just be rainbows and unicorns between you? You took the pictures from your pocket and handed them to him. He took his lighter from his pocket, cigar hanging from his mouth… he used the fire from the lighter to illuminate the pictures so he could see them.

“Who are those idiots dressin’ like they’re ready for Halloween?” He asked cigar still in his mouth, smoke coming out and his voice hoarse.

“My parents.” You answered, he almost choked with the cigar and the smoke. “Don’t need to feel bad. I thought almost the same thing when I looked at them now that I can see colors.”

“Look at lil ya dressing the same way…” he said looking at the next picture, at least you were an adorable kid.

“They never told me, but I already knew… and now it’s clear as water that they in fact couldn’t see colors.” You looked at the sky, now a little glad that you could see the dark blue color and the brightness of the stars and the moon decorating the sky.

“Why are ya telling me this?” He gave you the pictures back, this conversation wasn’t really going the way he planned it to be, but he also wasn’t expecting you to want to talk with him.

“Part of me not believing on the soulmate thing… was because of this.” You said, and he was still trying to understand what you meant. “And, now that I’m calmer… I see that this attitude of mine, it’s just me being everything I didn’t want to be and repeating the same mistakes of them.”

He didn’t say anything. Maybe waiting for you to finish talking.

“Also, we said a bunch of words today that we can’t take back.” You completed. When you yelled at him asking where he was… that wasn’t you trying to hurt him somehow or talk back, that was a mix of all your story and your feelings throughout the years. While you said all those words, that were young you that had chosen to not believe, but that still pleaded whatever force there was to prove you that you were wrong, that soulmates were real and that he would bring you out of your misery. You hoped for a life totally different from what your parents had, hoped for someone that would complete you, understand you and have a healthy relationship with you, but here you were, doing everything like them since the beginning. “In the end, I’m exactly like them.”

He looked at you swallowing the smoke from his cigar. Indeed you had said many words to each other and there was no going back. He still needed to understand you, and now that you started speaking, he wanted to listen everything.

“Me, outside, killing walkers? That was totally my dad, the only difference is that I was hitting walking corpses and not our furniture. We’re lucky, we don’t have that much furniture.” You said bitterly.

“Did he beat ya or ya mom?” He had to make that question, it triggered a thousand different feelings in him, but he needed to know.

“No, he never did. Talking about it now… it could have been worse.” You deep breathed and closed your eyes for some seconds, just feeling the night breeze and enjoying the silence. “My temper, me provoking you… pushing all your buttons… I probably got it from my mom, not that you made easy for me.”

“ ‘cause that was all ya knew…” he said turning himself to you.

“And everything I didn’t want to be.” You completed and then a random thought crossed your mind. “Can I try? Your cigar.”

“Do ya want one?” He asked taking his pack of cigars from his pocket.

“No, I just wanna try yours. I never smoked, if I don’t like I don’t wanna waste a good cigar that you could smoke.” You answered and then he stretched his arm in your direction offering you the cigar.

You took the cigarette between your fingers and analyzed it before bringing it to your mouth. “Ma old man was a drunk, he used to beat ma big bro and when Merle wasn’t around he started to beat me. Ma mom she died too early, but she didn’t cared much about us too. From what I remember from their relationship they were definitely not soulmates.” You swallowed the smoke and blowed it right after making a face and confirming you didn’t like cigars at all. “Guess… I got much from him too.”

“Well, at least you don’t beat children or women. You’re just an asshole and bad tempered.” You said and right after handed the cigar back to him.

“Was it supposed to make me feel better?” He asked sarcastically bringing the cigarette to his lips.

“I dunno.” You said honestly in fact you did just talked. “It just came out of my mouth.”

“Yeah, things come out of yer mouth pretty easily .” He couldn’t control and let the sassy remark.

“Just as it come from yours…” you replied back. “What did you want to talk?”

“Just wanted to say I’m sorry and offer a truce.” He said, finishing his cigar and throwing it away.

“Sounds good to me.” You answered, a truce sounded just perfect for two people in constant war.

“Wanna go back in the run tomorrow? Maybe this time we’re lucky.”

“I’m in.” You had a good feeling about this, you felt better after having talked to him and the truce that he offered were more than welcome. You didn’t expect much, but peace of mind was already a big step.

Both of you headed inside, agreeing to go early in the morning in the same run you had done that day. You went up the stairs and parted ways in the corridor.

“Good Night, Dixon.”

“Good Night, Y/N.”

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