collectate

[collectate]

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 40th year in a row

[collectate]

having anxiety is like being given permanent unwanted custody of a halter arabian. like okay buddy is it panic time again. cool you probably need more exercise and an apple and then maybe you'll calm down.

[collectate]

Obsessed with this year's grand prize winner of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

2022 Grand Prize Winner

"I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami."

[collectate]

"I don't personally understand that, but oh well" is a great alternative to deciding that something either can't exist or is a threat to you.

[collectate]

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination

[collectate]

i want that twink dealt with but not necessarily destroyed as i may have use for his conniving eunuch ways later

[collectate]

sorry i can't come in to work today. yeah sorry they killed me off last night. yeah i just wasn't relevant to the plot anymore. i should be in tomorrow but i'll let you know.

[collectate]

Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend

[collectate]

hope it’s SHITTY in the black dog!!!!! me and the homies hope it’s SHITTY in the black dog!!!!

[collectate]

[collectate]

[collectate]

[collectate]

You can never be normal about these men you always gotta say shit like I wanna hold him in my mouth like hes a baby alligator

oh that is ABSOLUTELY entering my vocabulary, thanks anon, good one

[collectate]

why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

[collectate]

nice outfit LOSER lol *puts phone up to ear* 65,000,000 BCE called .They said aomething really bad happened to the dinosaurs

[collectate]

I’m going to unlearn shame *bursts into tears and beats my head against a brick wall*

[collectate]

person looking at any global or historical phenomanon: surely i can analyze this strictly through the united states' racial structures, right? right?