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Wage Equity in SW

I want to see Black women charging 900/hr. I want to see Black women being whisked away on multi-day vacations. I want to see Black women being booked for multiple FMTYs. I want to see Black women achieving the same financial wins and business gains at the same frequency as white women.

What's interesting about the human brain is that it takes lived experiences and shapes them into a worldview. If we do not see ourselves mirrored in multiple roles, settings, and contexts, it can be difficult for the brain to envision the possibility of ourselves experiencing diverse and dynamic roles, in multiple settings, and in different contexts.

I poke around on SW Twitter here and there and you know what's hard to find? The occurrences that I have listed in the beginning of this post. I browse SW ad sites when I go to repost or bump my ad and you know what I rarely, if ever, see? Black women charging 900/hr. You know what I do see? Thin, white, "high-end" women charging 900/hr.

Now, we all set rates that work for us; however, it is far more likely that white providers, particularly thin white providers in the "high-end" realm, will charge more because they know clients will pay it. In Portland, there is one Black woman charging 800+/hr, and 20 white women charging 800+/hr. Now you may be thinking, "Corrie, Portland is a relatively white city, so maybe the numbers are skewed?" Well, let's take a look at Atlanta. A city with larger numbers of Black folks. There are 12 Black woman charging 800+/hr, and 39 white women charging 800+/hr. I didn't even filter for body type, which I'm sure would add another layer to these stats. I encourage you to check the stats in your city. Feel free to share with me what shows up for your city.

Let's revisit that second paragraph. Because there are so few Black SWs charging 800+/hr, it means that

it can be challenging for us to envision a future in which Black providers are in the 800+/hr range at the same frequency as white providers.

racism and a lack of equity are embedded within our social systems and that of course, unfortunately seeps into SW.

We have to do better as a society to provide equitable access to wages for Black folks and other people of color, especially in marginalized professions.

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Stressors of the Industry

I remember being in one of my graduate classes and we were discussing Audre Lorde's work. The topic of sex work came up and I remember one of my classmates saying, "Well sex work requires nothing to start. Anyone can do it. It doesn't require any previous qualifications like a standard job would." Sex work requires so much of your entire being. It may not require any previous qualifications, but it does require a certain tenacity and resilience.

Sex work will have you questioning so many aspects of your self-worth, self-image, and sense of confidence. This can impact workers with marginalized identities at greater levels. It is one of the most challenging jobs I have ever had, and I've had quite a few challenging jobs. One of the challenging aspects is not knowing when you'll have a good month, or a completely ass month where you make no money at all despite your best advertising efforts and hopes and prayers. Some workers freestyle, but that's not something that everyone is comfortable with. I have a full-time job in addition to sex work because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to pay bills. Since the income I bring in from sex work is sporadic, I literally could not afford to live if I didn't have my full-time job, which I am so thankful for.

You will find yourself asking questions such as

"Am I just not pretty enough? Do I need to lose weight?"

"Should I pay more money for premium ads? Should I join more advertising websites?"

"Should I post on Twitter more? Do I need more followers?"

"Are my pictures okay?"

"Are my prices too high? Do I need to lower them?"

"Am I ever going to get a client who schedules their appointment using the clear and concise instructions I have on my website and every single one of my ads and screens without a hassle?"

It can be absolutely exhausting. I have so much empathy for every other worker who struggles with thoughts of anxiety and stress related to being in this industry.

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Adele Fátima, 70s Brazilian Pinup & “Queen of the Drumbeat”

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Client Conundrum

So I was browsing Reddit and there was a client that put on there that typically clients have to contact 3 to 4 providers to get a response. Now... join me at the chalkboard class. Let's analyze this statement. To have to contact multiple providers to get a response, this client must be doing one or more of these things:

attempting to book a same day appointment

sending incomplete booking requests (missing screening information & specific appointment information, short intro text with no helpful information about desired services, etc.)

not reading the provider's appointment policy, hours of availability, if they're accepting new clients, etc.

This client also made a blanket statement about all clients. This is simply not true. All clients do not have this experience of having to contact multiple providers to a get a response. For example, when a client contacts me, he is guaranteed a response within 12 hours unless one or more of the previously listed items happen. Many providers check their email at least once every 48 - 72 hours. This means that a client who is looking to schedule an appointment in advance will more than likely get a response before their desired appointment date and if the provider is unavailable for that date, there is enough advanced planning to schedule a time that works for both parties.

Reddit is filled with multiple clients who approach scheduling with a provider in ways that are... baffling shall we say? Many of us have thorough websites chock-full of helpful information that help the scheduling process be as smooth and easeful as possible. We spend a lot of time and energy crafting a thoughtful, helpful website, and when clients choose to not read our policies and practices clearly listed on the website, it can start off the appointment request on the wrong foot.

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The queen. The legend. The icon.

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Gentleness & Ease

I love a multitude of simple things. Things such as a soft spring breeze brushing over bare skin while the sun shines and gently warms every area it touches. Things such as comfortable fabric and clothes that fit just right. Things such as a walk with my dog on the beach as he meets other dog friends and romps. Things such as a hot mug of Pu-erh tea with a homemade chocolate whipped cream on top. Things such as an easy and warm conversation with an old friend. Things such as a deep connection with a new friend.

I love so many aspects of just being able to exist in flow and ease. I'm so thankful every day for so many aspects of my life that nourish my soul and feed my spirit. Gratitude keeps me in a positive headspace and in connection and relationship with others.

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Thank you Yemen 🇾🇪

Despite being one of the poorest countries in the world, they showed more empathy than those so-called civilized developed countries.

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This fit is so fire. I actually love this so much.

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Winter & Work

I find it extremely difficult for me to start my day at my typical time of 6:30am during winter. My bed is soft and warm and it's still dark out.

I work multiple jobs that vary in their roles and demands, and my main job requires a full day of work from 8am to 4pm. Working 8hrs per day, 5 days a week absolutely kicks my ass and exhausts me during the winter. It's also tiring during the other seasons, but winter especially hits me hard in the productivity realm.

I'm learning to be okay with that and to get done what I can, and save the rest for the next day. We live in a fast-paced society that values constant hustle, drive, and productivity. That's just not something that aligns with me anymore. When I was younger, I would work insane hours and just go and go and go. That doesn't work for me anymore and I have the privilege to be able to have some creative control over how my day looks and feels. It's a privilege that I never take for granted, and that I'm immensely thankful for. I've also worked hard to get where I'm at today professionally, socially, and financially.

S3x work is one of my multiple jobs and I'm so privileged to be able to screen and only work with clients who respect my energy, my time, and my thoughtful humanness I bring to every session. Without the ability to do this, I'm not sure if I could keep this business in addition to my main job.

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"We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Palestinians."

~ Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela.

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Diana Ross photographed by Sonia Moskowitz at Studio 54 in New York City, 1979.

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Compliments & Good Energy

For many people, it can be hard to accept compliments. It can feel awkward for some folks and can bring up some feelings of questioning if we're even deserving of the praise.

I took a really rad workshop last year that focused on many different aspects of self-reflection, one of them being the acknowledgment of our gifts and talents, and welcoming and accepting when people see them within us and share the praise for what they see. After doing multiple meetings with the same group of people for 6 months, we all did the following exercise:

The facilitator explains that we will take turns in a circle offering gratitude, thanks, and praise for the person who will be the recipient. We are to share qualities of them we have observed and loved, aspects of who they are as a person that are meaningful and that spread positivity, love, good energy, and/or joy.

The recipient doesn't say anything while each person takes turns expressing their praises for them. They sit and let each person's words of affirmations and encouragement wash over them like a restorative, affirming shower or wave.

After the sharing circle is complete, the recipient sits and lets the messages they have just received from their group sit within them for a couple minutes, then a different recipient is selected.

By the end of the exercise, everyone has had a turn to share and receive.

I witnessed people crying while receiving messages. I'm welling up with emotion as I'm writing this reflection. It was one of the most unique and beautiful exercises I've ever had the opportunity to do in a group. It was purely transformative and magical.

I like to take the energy in the room that we cultivated and try to bring that to my encounters with others. I try to see the light people bring into the world, whenever possible. I'm of course not perfect, but I'm working on keeping that mentality.

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This is gorgeous, yet terrifying. Like how do you build something like this?!

Meteora Monasteries, Greece 🇬🇷

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Body Image

A lot of the discomfort we feel about our bodies can stem from the clothes that are accessible to us. It can be challenging to find clothes that compliment all shapes and sizes and that feel good and comfortable when being worn. We should all just revert back to tunics because those shits check all of the boxes. Breathable. ✅ Accommodating of all bodies. ✅ Easy to make and wear. ✅

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Working Class

I remember when I was in my early 20s and applied for and received CalFresh (food stamps). I was working multiple part-time jobs, was in a relationship that wasn't great, and just generally wasn't in the best place in life.

When I went to go purchase my first batch of groceries at the store, I remember the cashier giving me the most degrading, irritated look when I pulled out my food stamps card. Being low-income comes with many different struggles, one of which being the way that people in society view you through bias, preconceived notions. The interactions you have with people can make you feel bad about yourself despite the efforts and steps you're taking to improve your life.

I remember when I first started doing s3x work and I would see girls posting photos in $1200 lingerie and my jaw dropping. Or seeing them post expensive Cartier bracelets and Chanel purses that cost a car down payment. I started to feel small and out of place then I realized that the demon of comparison was sneaking its way into my brain. Comparison, especially in the s3x work industry, will hurt your spirit. I started to follow more workers of color who posted about a range of topics including racism and classism in the industry. I started curating a feed that felt more affirming and in alignment with how I was running my business.

I love the down to Earth, sweet, relatable, and humble vibe I have both in my personal and professional life. I was low-income for most of my life and I'm just now inching into a place where I feel good about my income, my investments, and where I'm at financially. I still have many goals to reach, but I'll get there in time. What's for me will always come to me, and what's not will pass me by.

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This is brilliant. Porcelain can be a very delicate clay to work with and to have these objects interacting with the pieces in these ways is such a rad concept.

Laurent Craste

(via These porcelains by Laurent Craste are subjected to all kinds of torture - PLAIN Magazine)

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(1, 2) Ivan Maljarenko (3) Davide Ragusa