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how did i, me, myself, ME, not even see the beastzai implications.... i am a fool and a buffoon....... jay you have opened my eyes

been too long since i offered a song!!! another off the grid dazai one bc i found another one BUT day traitor by younger hunger

I'm not gonna lie, I thought of beastzai while reading the lyrics

I can change my life I can turn back time Like Granger did -> (harry potter PoA reference RAAHH) Sit back and watch me spin

but instead of changing his life, Dazai is trying to change save Odasaku's and instead of turning back time, he's creating new universes.

The older that I get The less it all makes sense Is that just me? Is it my simulation Or just another person's memory Of someone who looked like me

'the less it all makes sense' -> he must have been so tired trying to save Oda repeatedly but failing. There had to have been a point where he wondered if it was even possible, right?

I wouldn't actually know though, I could be very wrong.

Anyway! On to off the grid Dazai!! Yes! I should have started with that first

You are yesterday Confidence, my confidence is fake When I'm Losing my mind trying to stay safe

you are yesterday -> 'you' could be Odasaku or mafia him. I think either could be fitting.

my confidence is fake -> I really like to think Dazai sometimes bluffs and bullshits through certain strategies, he can't always be right. Definitely has to have panicked once or twice but never shows it outwardly. His confidence is fake, a facade he always puts on.

Losing my mind trying to stay safe -> The challenge it must have been for Dazai to keep himself healthy (enough, and I say this because I know he did the bare minimum) and alive just to fulfill Odasaku's promise. Recovery, even if it's just a little, is hard.

Box out my teenage bedroom I found the note you wrote to me The only proof I have It happened not just in a dream

What happened to the pictures Dazai took of the trio in bar Lupin? I'm pretty sure he has them, somewhere. Maybe one of the only things he took with him when he left the mafia, his only way of remembering Oda's face. And he most definitely stared at them during long nights while he was under the radar.

Poor guy, those must've been tough years. I need Asagiri to drop a short novel of Dazai's time under the radar, there's no way he just sat there and did nothing for two years.

#ngl i thought you never got this and i was gearing up to resend it but kept forgetting #glad you enjoyed though!!!!! #jay! #🎶 #white hill road

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If given the chance to live, what personality do you think Chuuya's clone would have had?

Gosh. Poor dear clone boy didn't get much of a chance to have one of those, did he. I probably go off topic a couple times, but I promise speculation on his personality is actually in here somewhere.

So. I don't trust a word out of N's mouth at any point in time. He's a horribly unethical scientist and even worse father figure but he does seem to be a relatively decent liar. This is the only decent thing about him.

That being said, if N were to be believed, then the boy in the coin-flipping video demonstrating a self-contained singularity is poor Cloney.

Quoting N's words:

"The owner of the self-contradicting skill. Other than his skill, he was an ordinary boy born in a hot spring district in the San'in region. This special vessel was calibrated so he wouldn't be crushed by the singularity's gravity. That's the only reason why he's still alive."

Looking back at the scene of the coin video, we don't really see much of the boy himself.

Someone was twirling the coin between their fingers. They were young fingers, but everything past their arm was off camera, so it was impossible to see who exactly the person was. They were, however, speaking in an almost singsong manner.

Whoever's in the video recites a couple verses of Upon The Tainted Sorrow. Not the activation verse we know, though.

Someone was holding a glittering coin in the center of the screen, but the camera was too far away to make out their face. The only thing discernible was how oddly spacious the concrete chamber was.

The video is obscured. We can't confirm or deny if it was Cloney in the video, we only know that he's young. But for the sake of speculation, let's say he is. To rule out the idea that it might be Chuuya in the video for the sake of narrowing down options: Chuuya had residual memory, or at least recognition, upon walking into Research Facility B, as its layout is similar to Research Facility A, aka what is now Suribachi City. He's got a pattern of that--seeing snippets of his true past having to do with the Arahabaki program, and it sparking his memory. He didn't do that when watching the coin video, so I'm just going to assume that whoever it was, it wasn't him. It would be off pattern for him.

I have one more quote to pull before rambling about what Cloney could have been like. Unfortunately it's the bit where he dies, but y'know, I only have so many scenes to pick from.

His face was no different than Chuuya's, but his eyes were a little kinder and much feebler. The boy grabbed Chuuya, his gaze pleading. He opened his mouth as if to say something. His lungs filled with puff of air. And that was it. His life had come to an end.

That's the part that really gnaws at me. His eyes were a little kinder. Assuming this is the same boy that has been a living experiment used to create an advanced version of himself (or having been created) and really only knowing dangerous experiments or a murky tube for going on 16 years now, seeing kindness in his eyes is almost baffling. You'd expect him to be kicking and screaming against anyone coming near him, probably. Or some kind of resignation, maybe. But he spent his last breath trying to communicate.

If he'd made it out of Facility B, I like to think he'd have been a hopeful sort. He probably wouldn't have been very well, though. The coin video scene notes the subject (Cloney) going into cardiac arrest. And surviving that comes with a lot of complications (unless the facility had some kind of healing ability on hand, but I'm calling that a 50/50 shot at best. The kindest thing I can imagine is trying to design transferable healing abilities in a similar way to how ability weapons were produced, but that may be too optimistic.) If I ignore the physical complications, there's extremely high rates of depression and anxiety after surviving cardiac arrest, which would probably be made worse by Cloney's living conditions for the last several years.

Verlaine is a bad example of how any reasonable person acts, but one thing pretty understandable is his distrust and paranoia of pretty much everything. And arguably, Verlaine has the most similar background to Cloney. So lets borrow some Verlaine traits, too, maybe.

And the fact that in the video, he spent most of the time flipping a coin. Young Cloney probably thought he was so cool like some movie character. I think his coin flipping is kind of similar to Chuuya's bit in Fifteen asking for hard rock music while he beats people up. They're both losers that wanna be action heroes at heart, to me.

It might manifest differently, but I like to think from his final scene that he got a lot of Chuuya's resilience (y'know, the kind that Verlaine really lacked.) I think coming out of the lab he'd be a very troubled boy, but really that would make him fit right in with the cast around him. But still trying to make the best of things. I think he'd like bad action movies. I think he'd be a little claustrophobic, a little afraid of the dark, but adverse to big empty rooms too. I think he'd like being around people. I don't think he'd want to join the Port Mafia, and he'd definitely steer clear of the Special Abilities Department. So of our major Yokohama-based organizations, the best place for him would be the Agency... but I don't think he'd want to be there either. I don't think he'd want anything to do with any ability based organizations at all, really. I kind of doubt he'd be up to learning any coin tricks after what happened the last time, but that idle hand habit never really goes away. Maybe he'd pick up cool methods of shuffling cards and end up working as a dealer at the Sky Casino or something weird like that. I don't know, really. We only have one scene we know is Cloney, and some speculation, but I think he'd have a few traits similar to Chuuya, but maybe without some of his aggression. I think he'd have a few traits similar to Verlaine, too. And every character that struggles with humanity struggles with it in a different way, and I'm sure he'd be no exception to that. Lots of issues and problems, but I think he'd be the kind to just want to move on. I think Kenji would fix him.

#hi followers give me more notes on this #/lh

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If given the chance to live, what personality do you think Chuuya's clone would have had?

Gosh. Poor dear clone boy didn't get much of a chance to have one of those, did he. I probably go off topic a couple times, but I promise speculation on his personality is actually in here somewhere.

So. I don't trust a word out of N's mouth at any point in time. He's a horribly unethical scientist and even worse father figure but he does seem to be a relatively decent liar. This is the only decent thing about him.

That being said, if N were to be believed, then the boy in the coin-flipping video demonstrating a self-contained singularity is poor Cloney.

Quoting N's words:

"The owner of the self-contradicting skill. Other than his skill, he was an ordinary boy born in a hot spring district in the San'in region. This special vessel was calibrated so he wouldn't be crushed by the singularity's gravity. That's the only reason why he's still alive."

Looking back at the scene of the coin video, we don't really see much of the boy himself.

Someone was twirling the coin between their fingers. They were young fingers, but everything past their arm was off camera, so it was impossible to see who exactly the person was. They were, however, speaking in an almost singsong manner.

Whoever's in the video recites a couple verses of Upon The Tainted Sorrow. Not the activation verse we know, though.

Someone was holding a glittering coin in the center of the screen, but the camera was too far away to make out their face. The only thing discernible was how oddly spacious the concrete chamber was.

The video is obscured. We can't confirm or deny if it was Cloney in the video, we only know that he's young. But for the sake of speculation, let's say he is. To rule out the idea that it might be Chuuya in the video for the sake of narrowing down options: Chuuya had residual memory, or at least recognition, upon walking into Research Facility B, as its layout is similar to Research Facility A, aka what is now Suribachi City. He's got a pattern of that--seeing snippets of his true past having to do with the Arahabaki program, and it sparking his memory. He didn't do that when watching the coin video, so I'm just going to assume that whoever it was, it wasn't him. It would be off pattern for him.

I have one more quote to pull before rambling about what Cloney could have been like. Unfortunately it's the bit where he dies, but y'know, I only have so many scenes to pick from.

His face was no different than Chuuya's, but his eyes were a little kinder and much feebler. The boy grabbed Chuuya, his gaze pleading. He opened his mouth as if to say something. His lungs filled with puff of air. And that was it. His life had come to an end.

That's the part that really gnaws at me. His eyes were a little kinder. Assuming this is the same boy that has been a living experiment used to create an advanced version of himself (or having been created) and really only knowing dangerous experiments or a murky tube for going on 16 years now, seeing kindness in his eyes is almost baffling. You'd expect him to be kicking and screaming against anyone coming near him, probably. Or some kind of resignation, maybe. But he spent his last breath trying to communicate.

If he'd made it out of Facility B, I like to think he'd have been a hopeful sort. He probably wouldn't have been very well, though. The coin video scene notes the subject (Cloney) going into cardiac arrest. And surviving that comes with a lot of complications (unless the facility had some kind of healing ability on hand, but I'm calling that a 50/50 shot at best. The kindest thing I can imagine is trying to design transferable healing abilities in a similar way to how ability weapons were produced, but that may be too optimistic.) If I ignore the physical complications, there's extremely high rates of depression and anxiety after surviving cardiac arrest, which would probably be made worse by Cloney's living conditions for the last several years.

Verlaine is a bad example of how any reasonable person acts, but one thing pretty understandable is his distrust and paranoia of pretty much everything. And arguably, Verlaine has the most similar background to Cloney. So lets borrow some Verlaine traits, too, maybe.

And the fact that in the video, he spent most of the time flipping a coin. Young Cloney probably thought he was so cool like some movie character. I think his coin flipping is kind of similar to Chuuya's bit in Fifteen asking for hard rock music while he beats people up. They're both losers that wanna be action heroes at heart, to me.

It might manifest differently, but I like to think from his final scene that he got a lot of Chuuya's resilience (y'know, the kind that Verlaine really lacked.) I think coming out of the lab he'd be a very troubled boy, but really that would make him fit right in with the cast around him. But still trying to make the best of things. I think he'd like bad action movies. I think he'd be a little claustrophobic, a little afraid of the dark, but adverse to big empty rooms too. I think he'd like being around people. I don't think he'd want to join the Port Mafia, and he'd definitely steer clear of the Special Abilities Department. So of our major Yokohama-based organizations, the best place for him would be the Agency... but I don't think he'd want to be there either. I don't think he'd want anything to do with any ability based organizations at all, really. I kind of doubt he'd be up to learning any coin tricks after what happened the last time, but that idle hand habit never really goes away. Maybe he'd pick up cool methods of shuffling cards and end up working as a dealer at the Sky Casino or something weird like that. I don't know, really. We only have one scene we know is Cloney, and some speculation, but I think he'd have a few traits similar to Chuuya, but maybe without some of his aggression. I think he'd have a few traits similar to Verlaine, too. And every character that struggles with humanity struggles with it in a different way, and I'm sure he'd be no exception to that. Lots of issues and problems, but I think he'd be the kind to just want to move on. I think Kenji would fix him.

#asks? answered. hotel? trivago. #if anyone else has thoughts please feel free to share them #also this gave me ideas for another post later we'll see if i remember #bsd stormbringer #ashes to the coast #clone tag

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the concept of skk having to practice any of their insane plans or signature moves is so funny but I can't see it. These guys are freaks. Dazai can set up crazy traps within a few days' notice, and Chuuya will face off against anything and find a way to outsmart and/or overwhelm it and win. They defeated Rimbaud with a plan Dazai came up with mid-battle and 2 minutes of communication (that was mostly about feelings). The first time Chuuya used Corruption happened a few minutes after Chuuya learned about "safely" activating it on purpose. Dazai got himself captured on purpose during the Dragon's Head Conflict and didn't tell Chuuya he had to come save him later, he just waited for him to connect the dots. Yes they came up with little strategies and gave them codenames to be cool and sneaky and that means they either sat down to suggest moves or have been coming up with names on the fly after doing something cool. That doesn't mean they practiced them thought.

#neither of those freakshows (affectionate) ever practiced anything a day in their lives just on their own #certainly not together. #they get into a situation and send psychic beams at each other to know what the other is doing #and the 'plan' is just a game of fuck around and find out #because they know each other well enough to know the others' moves and are each smart enough to plan their own actions around it #the names for plans come after when they go 'hey that trick was handy we might have to do that again #sorry for writing an essay in tags im normal about them #white hill road #ashes to the coast

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once again thinking about how verlaine genuinely wanted to be a good big brother or whatever and was trying to do a good thing. and how he's so human about it all that its stupid but he got so messed up he ended up Like That

#i love reblogging myself anyway im still on my bullshit

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cool verlaine & chuuya brother bonding activity: the organization that saved you later turns on you under threat of death when your goals no longer align with theirs (you later forgive them for this).

#the difference is that verlaine was the one threatening murder in his circumstance #meanwhile chuuya was the one getting attempted murdered #bsd chuuya #bsd verlaine #bsd stormbringer #ashes to the coast #apocalypse is on its way

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dumb ask but me and you use the same tag #sticky note for our content tagging and I think that’s cool

sorry if this is a stupid ask I just thought it was neat

oh gosh that's not dumb at all that's so fun!! hello my fellow sticky note poster!!!

together we are leaving little sticky notes with doodles and thoughts on them all over this website until it looks like a child's conspiracy board of all the times they think they saw bigfoot on a long drive and i think that is wonderful.

#literally i don't know why but this ask brought me so much joy #there are sticky notes on this website!!! #asks? answered. hotel? trivago. #sticky note #=)

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do you ever remember that dazai & chuuya were 15 and kyouka was like 14 and kouyou was a teenager and kyusaku was like 7 and akutagawa was like 14 and gin was even younger when they ended up in the port mafia. do you ever think about all these fucking kids in the port mafia

#sticky note

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i checked out for a couple hours and come back to see the muts creating the bsd greater yokohama polycule

#sticky note #so true btw

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sorry for verlaineposting again i remembered he exists (im not sorry at all. this is the price of me being active again)

#sticky note

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like. Adam is there to follow a directive and prove that BOTH Chuuya and Verlaine are human and not artificial that's why we see Adam's point of view and his methods of thinking. We see a true artificial human in Stormbringer.

And then there's Verlaine. Who was so baffled by a gift of a hat & didn't know how to respond so Rimbaud thought he didn't like it even after Verlaine went on to wear it every day after. Which is such a silly little human thing. Verlaine who felt so strongly that how he'd been treated was unjust and betrayed every kindness he'd known to that point to prevent anything remotely similar from happening to someone else.

Verlaine who was soooooo so so so lonely and wanted nothing more than someone like him who just understood. And was so devastated after he lost that chance, after someone saved his life, that he ruined all future chances of happiness for himself to sit and stew in the tragedy of all he ever had.

God. Stormbringer.

once again thinking about how verlaine genuinely wanted to be a good big brother or whatever and was trying to do a good thing. and how he's so human about it all that its stupid but he got so messed up he ended up Like That

#apocalypse is on its way #brief adam mention so #placeholder adam tag

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once again thinking about how verlaine genuinely wanted to be a good big brother or whatever and was trying to do a good thing. and how he's so human about it all that its stupid but he got so messed up he ended up Like That

#apocalypse is on its way

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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

#pretend i reblogged this 1000000 times i dont feel like dash spamming but i miss people in my inbox #(even if it takes me like. a week to answer sometimes)

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hii question here!

not that sure about my knowledge of BEAST; did Dazai destroy other universes?

omg hi sorry this took me so long to get to! i've been distracted all week </3

anyway... i'd say "destroy" is a strong word? we don't exactly know how the other universes ended (other than somewhere in them, oda has to have died), but we do know that there were several other universes before the BEAST universe we know and loathe. it was not the first universe dazai created with the Book. he created countless other permutations of the world with different variables changed to try and create an outcome in which oda was able to live and write his novel.

however, considering the ultimate purpose was for oda to live? i'm assuming he rewrote the book each time oda died, thus "ending" the previous book universe, as to the best of my understanding only one can exist at a time (someone correct me on that if i'm wrong!). so you could say he destroyed them, in a sense. More Book mechanics under the cut!

here's Dazai's explanation on how the Book functions in the novel:

"Dazai replied brightly, as if reciting poetry. 'Yes, but 'whatever you write becomes real' isn't exactly how it sounds.' The Book is more or less the origin of this world. In this Book you'll find an infinite number of potential worlds that can branch out into an infinite number of different paths depending on the choices made and conditions set. And the moment something is written on a page in the Book, a world tailored to what was written is 'summoned.' The potential world inside the Book and the real world change places.'"

'"'Simply put, the term world refers to both the single physical reality that exists outside the Book and the infinite possible worlds that are tucked away inside the Book,' Dazai explained nonchalantly as if it were common sense. 'This world is a possible world. In other words, it's merely one of infinite worlds inside the book.'"

"'But reality is still reality. This world holds just as much weight as the outside world. The fact that the Book--which is something like the world's origin--exists in this world as well proves as much. But this world's Book is a drain, so to speak. Orders from the outside world can rewrite this world or even destroy it..."'

"'You two must defeat every one of them [various organizations after the Book] and protect this Book at all costs because if they write something, this world will be overwritten and cease to exist."

From the BEAST light novel, approximately pages 146-147, give or take.

If I were to condense his explanation as well as what I know from the main story: The Book of the original, outside world can create countless sub-universes OR change its own reality. Within these sub-universes, the Book which exists within them can only sustain its own sub-universe, and if it is edited, it will rewrite it's current state and erase that existing world to create a new one. That's my understanding, anyway.

So to answer your question to the best of my understanding: BEAST!Dazai definitely destroyed several of these sub-universes to create the one BEAST takes place in, as he rewrote the sub-universe Book each time.

Tysm for giving me something about BEAST to ramble about!

#asks? answered. hotel? trivago. #bsd beast #ability mechanics #sort of. since the book is the “original ability” #why we will never meet

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i survived my first week at my new job and i'm celebrating in true tumblr user cousticks fashion: stormbringer angstposting.

#sticky note

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say whatever the hell you will about verlaine's morals but i fully believe that if he knew the clone was down in that fucking facility he would have tried to bust him out too.

like. verlaine's whole thing is that he didn't want the ability experimentation-weaponization to happen to anyone else again. and we know the consideration of whether or not a clone was a "real" person isn't a factor there--he didn't believe himself nor chuuya were human either and still believed in the concept of trying to live in peace. and this is something he believed strongly enough to kill rimbaud over.

but like. the first encounter with the clone, verlaine hadn't shown up yet. and the second encounter happened after verlaine kicked chuuya several rooms over and was distracted with N. so theoretically he never even saw its remains. i don't think verlaine knew the clone existed.

he may not have "saved" chuuya the way he wanted to, but verlaine still got chuuya out. he was successful enough. but if and or when he learned about the clone that would be another miserable regret to sit on him while he rots in that mafia basement i just know it. i just KNOW letting another living thing like he and chuuya fall apart in suspended animation in a laboratory facility deep, deep underground would eat at him.

#bsd stormbringer #bsd verlaine #bsd chuuya #ashes to the coast #apocalypse is on its way #clone tag

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Got a request on insta to draw those two ehehe (i will have to work on Murase's design a bit more one day but anyway) love those two sm Let's ignore the fact i posted yesterday, i love posting and i'm too impatient to wait days aughhhh

#oh i like this very much. #placeholder murase tag #ashes to the coast