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Omg Suzy you’re so crazy

#absolute sasha energy

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#THE MOST SASHA ENERGY #livestock guardian dog coded man; i’m only chill because you aren’t a threat #but i will identify as 300lbs of problem if you start shit #sasha tag

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I forgot that writing is very fun and that you're playing pretend. like all this shit and pressure about craftsmanship and art! NO!!!! you are a grown up playing with dolls! it is silly and you should have sooooo much fun pushing their heads together to make them smooch!!! or torturing them, which is what I did to my toys as a child, to the point where my mom thought I was going to grow up evil

#uhh should i give up and admit sasha is simply my favorite murder boy? #why else would I create him but to love? #it’s hilarious to me that dmitri actually came first #oc tag #must they be realistic?

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I mean, I have personal reasons, but consider:

sugar daddy cover of sparkling diamonds

(related: elephant love medley duet but gay)

#the problem with having OCs in a band #is that you can’t hear them play #this should spontaneously come into existence just for sasha #sasha tag #it’s always sasha 🙄 #my ocs <3 #moulin rouge

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I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

#sasha tag #a turkish prison is literally a plot point for him

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see what they don't tell you is that you HAVE to make the most self-indulgent ocs and self inserts to inject into your favorite media and to have the most tender moments with your favorite blorbos and to live out every fantasy and tragedy your heart desires. you just have to

#i am trying so hard to embrace this #why am i still embarrassed about my favorite little guys??

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“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

#sasha tag #in fact sasha bingo what’s that man up to currently

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describe your oc in the worst way possible: he’s like if you put a supercomputer in a himbo and then took the hinges off with ptsd

#my ocs <3 #is he dumb of ass or just an outlier whose opinion on danger should not have been counted #anyway i love him #describe your oc

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characters cleaning blood off their partner's face is just PEAK romance actually. bonus points if it's someone else's blood

#dmitri with sasha #he’s committed to loving a man covered in blood sweat and tears #dmitri tag #sasha tag #dmitri/sasha tag

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when something cool happens but you cant say anything to anyone so youre just

#dmitri tag #dmitri re: sasha in general

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imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

#ohhhh sometimes you put inspiration together #well so there’s some indiana jobes in sasha #sasha tag

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I think a really good relationship dynamic is when one partner is an entirely absurd person and the other partner's perpetual thought process is, "I adore you. Why are you like this? I'm going to kiss you at such length and with such fervor that you'll get disoriented and stop being like this for five minutes and I can rest, for fuck's sake."

#dmitri tag #his preferred sasha wrangling method

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What hotter: being covered in your own blood or someone else's?

both. i'm bisexual.

#sasha tag #dmitri appreciating sasha too

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hyperfixation sucks I think just a little too hard about a guy who isn't even real and I could start crying any second

#your own OCs making you cry 😔😔😔

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#extremely real

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i want that slut covered in blood and traumatized by his actions

#sasha tag

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One time I read that post that goes "once upon a time an adult put you on the ground and never picked you up again" and it made me sad so now I lift everyone. I'm 5'3" and kinda dumpy but the trick is to plant your feet, get 'em in a gable grip low near the hips with your knees bent, and then just tuck in your Elbows and straighten your legs. Gets those fuckers right on up there. I'm the oldest of eight and also the shortest but that sad shit lives with me so I'm hauling around these kids around like it's nothing. My little brother is a hockey player and a full head taller. I carried him around when he was a baby and I carried him around last weekend. My Papa is a 230lb Bavarian man who watches Stargate in a bath robe, he's smoked a pack a day for forty years. You think I haven't lifted him? I have. He said I couldn't do it but I did. God didn't give me social skills but I'm full of love and jacked as hell and he's not here to stop me

#sasha tag