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PRIDE CELEBRATION 2023: FAVORITE COUPLES

SHELBY & TONI ♡ THE WILDS (2020-2022)

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#exactly

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@pscentral event 16: pride colours

"I never won't love her. never." shelby goodkind and toni shalifoe + the lesbian flag

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Shelby and Toni + 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔

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PRIDE CELEBRATION 2023: FAVORITE COUPLES

SHELBY & TONI ♡ THE WILDS (2020-2022)

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Shelby: You existence is confusing.

Toni: Why?

Shelby: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

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even before shelby acted on her impulses completely and forgot about herself enough to kiss toni, the fear and adrenaline and care she felt when she straddled toni forced toni to swallow the pill still made her feel like this. The inner torment can barely be contained within her head here. Because she can’t fully deny what she feels now that she saw toni almost die and all that she could think about was saving and caring for her.

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The Wilds: Shelby Goodkind - Type 2w1

Shelby is kind, people-pleasing, judgmental and caring. Shelby always tries her best to live up to the expectations, leading to her feeling like she can’t really be herself. 

At her best, Shelby becomes more comfortable with herself while on the island, as we see in her opening up to Toni. She becomes more aware of her own feelings and her needs.

At her worst, Shelby has a tendency to blame other people for her actions, especially when she feels she has done something wrong. She can also be really hard on herself as we see when she isolates herself from the group.

Shelby has always felt like she had to act a certain way due to her upbringing. This has made her feel like she can’t be herself, and represses certain parts of herself like her sexuality. I think this is also shown in her participation in beauty pageants. I feel like Shelby is a bit obsessed with her looks as she has always been valued for her beauty. This is one of the reasons that she is so embarrassed about her dentures.   

Shelby is a typical people-pleaser who wants everyone to like her. When we first see her on the plane, Shelby is the one who tries to break the ice and is always trying to make people feel at ease. She also tries to be helpful on the island and doesn’t really instigate any kind of conflict. 2s are usually very social which we see with Shelby as she constantly suggests to do icebreakers and play games to connect with them. 

However, I feel like this takes a toll on Shelby and she wishes she could be less of a people pleaser. I feel like one of the things she likes about Toni is that she seems authentic to herself and isn’t afraid of upsetting people. Shelby basically tells Toni that she envies that she is free from expectations and can be herself. Whereas Shelby has always felt like she had to conform to the expectations of her family.

Shelby reacts very badly when she feels like she has done the wrong thing or has upset the people she loves. For example, after she kisses Becca, she lashes out at her and makes vicious comments. Before this, Shelby was a really supportive friend and continued her friendship with Becca despite everyone else alienating her. So, when she lashed out at Becca and cut off contact, she felt responsible for her death. This is also one of the reasons she fights so hard to give Toni the pill and save her, because she feels guilty about Becca’s death.

Shelby shows her wing 1 as she is very concerned with her own moral code and is perfectionistic. 

Tri-type: 2w1 - 1w2 - 6w7 

Some quotes to describe Shelby’s motivations

“Isn’t that what we’re all afraid of? That we won’t be loved? That we’ll be all alone?”

“Three words. Shelter building contest.”

“I don’t do anger.”

“I know exactly who I am. I cannot wait to get home and get back to her.”

Shelby: “This one time, we were on a mission trip to Mexico, and we were watching the sunset together. And because the light was just right, the sun made this beautiful green flash just before it sunk below the horizon. And I was like…”Isn’t that just the purest thing you ever saw?” You ever seen that? Green flash at sunset?

Dot: “Oh, um, no. I haven’t had a whole lot of time for sunsets and s**t.”

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“What do you want?”

“Oh, God. So little, Shelby. Next to nothing in the grand scheme of things. All I want…is for you to choose.”

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Liveblog - The Wilds, Episode 4 “Day 42/15″

“I’m sorry Rachel, that was so incredibly thoughtless of me.”

That entire rant really put into perspective how self-aware, and aware of other’s emotions/feelings Shelby is.

Not to say that’s even necessarily a good thing. In cases like this, for example - we see how Shelby’s able to project her guilt for wanting to stay on the island while everyone else is suffering. She beats herself up for the idle statement alluding to that fact so much she’s able to obscure her true feelings, and perform the desired reaction she knows the others would want to see - i.e. not being so ignorant as to push past everyone’s suffering for the sake of her optimism about her experiences on the island. And that means she can keep on doing her thing, keep holding onto her true feelings, behind a convincing enough facade that no one can break through. Which isn’t really anything except self-destructive - maybe something she’d want to open up w/ her kinda-girlfriend & stuff - until she starts doing shit like, not signalling the rescue boat and shit lmao.

This isn’t anti-Shelbs ofc, I love my dumbass blonde (affectionate) & all, just an interesting observation!

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Dot: dad friend. Can build you a deck and handle any emergency

Fatin: mom friend. Gives great advice and makes sure everyone is doing good

Shelby: fun Aunt friend. Thinks she’s a mom friend but causes too much drama to actually be a mom friend.

Toni: uncle friend. Shows up to all events yet only speaks like three words but will fight for you if need be

Leah: unhinged eldest daughter that keeps getting into trouble

Rachel and Nora: middle siblings. Do not make trouble unless they decide to fight over something. Forgotten about :(

Martha: the baby. She can do no wrong.

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Loved the new episode! Something that got me thinking was how you were talking about the Goodkind family dynamics and what is Shelbys relationship with her mom/her mom's relationship with Dave and how she is the passive housewife stuck in this life. It reminds me of that scene where Shelby recites the Death of a Salesmen monologue to Nora. She said he mother picked it out for her. So considering the context of the meaning of that speech, the need to live their own life and bot for their father. Do you think it's safe to assume, or at least it's possible that Shelby's mom might know about Shelby's struggle with who she is and how that fits into the "good christian" household she's in?

I tend to believe even of she doesn't know explicitly about Shelby's sexuality and such, she wants more for her daughter than the life she's got, playing the role of the dutiful wife, and this is her subtle way of telling her to not fall into that typical life, if that makes sense? I was curious about your thoughts. Great episode as always! I look forward to the next one!

I love that Death of a Salesman theory! That’s a great catch and makes SO much sense... my mind is actually blown. When we rewatch next, I’m going to pay close attention to any reference or inclusion of Jobeth because I think/hope there are more subtleties like that. I’m also reflecting on your thoughts in the context of Dave’s words about how some people might view him as backwards, and I think that breaking of his own fourth wall about how his views are situated might also reflect that Jobeth knows and wants more for Shelby. It feels out of character for him to some extent (in some ways it is in character because it is manipulative) because they don’t feel like his words - maybe that is because they are actually Jobeth’s words in one of those closed door conversations that are later passed off as “Your Mom and I think”? Thank you for sharing this and for listening! We love talking through this stuff! - Rachel

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The Rooms in the Goodkind House

Shelby’s Bedroom

This is her safe space. We see her at her most vulnerable and the most herself in here. It’s everything a teenagers room should be: clothes everywhere, posters on the wall, and a pink beanbag on the floor. There is no performativity here, Shelby can be herself. One of my favourite details is that she both has crowns on display and scattered on the floor. Shelby feels safe here to be silly, and eventually to kiss Becca. This is her space to give into the things she wants. This is also the room that we see outside forces (Dave) permeate and destroy that balance.

The Stairs

A super liminal and transitional space between Shelby’s room and the living room. We see Shelby eavesdropping as decisions are being made that directly impact her, but she is never invited into those conversations. She is always awaiting judgement on the stairs, whether about her family’s perceptions of being gay or over what happened with Becca. This space is in between the safety of her room and the dangers of the main floor. This sense of “in-between” is carried onto the island as external forces always drive and decide Shelby’s direction, actions and next moves.

The Living Room

The public facing room in the house. This is where Dave meets with people from the outside, but the conversations that happen in this room impact the decisions that are made in the kitchen. It is place of judgement, where those external to the Goodkind family can impact family dynamics. The whole space is flooded with the understanding that public perception matters. People come to almost hold council with Dave Goodkind. We never see Shelby in here.

The Kitchen

This room stages all of the action, the harm and the drama. It’s the heart of the Goodkind household, and a place where we only see family members. It’s the room where private things are discussed and where the turmoil between Shelby and her Dad comes to head multiple times. It symbolizes “family only” discussions and is the place where Dave passes down judgement. We never see Shelby making decisions in this space, only asking for things (eg her teeth or for her Dad to believe her), which reinforces the overall feeling that she is powerless in this space, and honestly in the house at large.

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God you've got me thinking about Shelby weaponizing helpfulness the same way she weaponizes positivity... It is such a Christian thing and it is such a Dave Goodkind thing, too... Honestly the "We'll give her what she'll learn to love" strikes me as a Dave-ism almost. Reminds me of the field note about how Shelby learned to swim when he just threw her in the pool so she'd have to learn. Slightly different idea but like... it's very much the "this is for your own good" type thinking. The "it'll hurt, but it'll be worth it" attitude that Dave had about fixing Shelby's teeth, or the fact that she was gay. Idk the whole party planning scene struck me as indicative of both how she handles guilt, and to a smaller degree, her ingrained philosophy on life in general. "Good" things are laced with a double meaning, and nothing "good" in life comes without some sort of suffering, in a sense? Like. Lol Shelby's life was fake and miserable, but she was outwardly "good" and her family was outwardly "good" so all the suffering she was enduring to get to an end goal of a "good" life (which would have also been miserable for her) was worth it. And it's so tied to the dishonesty that colors her old life! The party scene definitely reminded me of a lot of that mindset, probably because she had regressed back into dishonesty, was feeling guilt over that, and fell back into her old ways of atoning. And because she was in that mindset, "giving her what she'll learn to love" mindset also happened. Sorry if this is rambly I feel like some of the things I mentioned were tangential, brain's kinda fried lol.

Hi Anon! Please don't apologize, all I do on this website is ramble. And yes, absolutely, to everything you're saying! Shelby truly is her father's daughter - you can feel all the ways he's influenced her, even as she tries her best to separate herself from her family. When she's faced with a crisis, whether external, like confronting Toni's hostility or doing the bunker interviews, or internal, like her guilt, she defaults back to the sayings and attitudes she learned at home and in church - unconsciously, even with the best of intentions, she starts emulating her father.

And it's understandable, and realistic, and really fascinating characterization! Shelby wants so badly to be good, and honest, and kind, but it's hard, long work to deconstruct seventeen years of these kinds of beliefs ; it certainly takes more than a couple of months away in survival mode. She knows it, too : it's, at least partly, why she can't handle the thought of going back home. She knows all too well how easy it would be for her to fall back into what she's always known, to get pulled back into a life she doesn't want, into the kind of person she refuses to be anymore.