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realising i'm a masochist did actually make me better at getting out of my comfort zone because now i can just reframe it as microdosing on getting off

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Cinderella’s dress, shoes, and hairband change color with your blog!!

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"our son made it through the war to come of age, let's fucken party! rsvp only if you're a little bitch who's NOT coming. all y'all not dead of alcohol poisoning by morning (lmao losers) get dunkt on"

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keep psychologically torturing his gay ass

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can we make a blood pact but platonically. just as friends. we haven’t been doing much bonding lately :(

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Call me antidepressants the way I'm not working

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i think dirk would give up on his evil masterplan like one week into the journey if those three ganged up on him. hed turn the ship back in tears and, once returned, begged dave on his knees to never make him sit in a room alone with those fuckers. thats the seer power for you

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"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

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u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

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literally no better feeling than blurting out some loud dumbass joke with your buddies and hearing a total stranger ugly-snort-laugh as they walk past bc their own laughter caught them by surprise. find joy and connection in the spontaneity of strangers you son of a bitch. i fucking got your ass

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UC or ER?

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you never know what someone is going through. for instance i didnt know i was going through anything until about 2 years later. i thought i was just chilling