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[csswarchive]

Dean & Eden

Eden POV

1,699 words

CW ⚠️ drug use, vomiting, suicidal ideation (???)

non-ship/platonic, drug use, addiction, descriptions of being under the influence, blood, vomiting, possibly hurt/comfort, relapses, non sexual undressing, trans male character, vampire ish

Ring

Ring

“Hello?”

His body feels warm. Warm. Like normal human bodies are supposed to feel like.

“Dean…”

“Eden? What's up, everything okay?”

“I need…. Help.”

“Shit, okay. Where are you?”

“Umm…”

Eden rolls his head from one side to another. He notices the reflection of a neon sign…

“Eden! Where are you?”

Oh yeah.

“In an alley…”

He thinks he can hear the Impala roar to life in the background.

“You're so not being helpful. Just…” He swears, “just stay where you are. I'll be there.”

Click.

Eden laughs a little, from his spot sprawled out on the damp cement. Like he was going anywhere…

He isn't sure how long he lays there, waiting. But the stars in the sky eventually are drowned by the increasing blue, as the sun prepares to rise. Gradually, Eden's eyes droop. He barely cares about how much falling asleep right before dawn will hurt when he slips to unconsciousness….

He's being shaken.

“.....it! Eden, c'mon man!”

Red eyes crack open barely, “stop…” He croaks.

“Goddamnit, Eden. Do you know how hard it is to tell if you're dead! Or… dead dead.”

The relief is audible in Dean's voice.

Eden feels arms around him, and he thinks he should help in the effort to get himself on his feet… It doesn't change his status of rag doll, though.

Like a corpse.

Eden all but spills into the passenger seat of the Impala. Dean even buckles him into the seat before closing the door.

He can hear the drivers door slam shut.

“What happened.”

He's mad, Eden notes.

“Hmm?”

“Don't play dumb with me. You're a vampire covered in blood. If you don't tell me what the hell happened I'm gonna start making assumptions, Eden!”

The Impala rumbles, and rock briefly plays through the car. At least until it's roughly shut off.

“Eden!”

Eden's head jerks slightly, an attempt to wake himself up.

“I didn't kill him.”

Dean scoffs.

“Yeah you didn't kill him, just snacked on him, huh? Real nice.”

Eden doesn't say anything.

“You know I've met vampires that feed on cattle. Shit like that. What, just not good enough for you? But sure, by all means. As long as they don't die it's fine.”

Now, Eden laughs. He doesn't mean to, and almost instantly he hears Dean's blood rush.

“You think this is funny?”

Eden hums.

“Mmm… no, but heroin deer is a funny thought…”

“What?”

The anger in Dean's voice is gone, now. And Eden thinks he can feel eyes on him. The vampire doesn't do anything though, just stays how he is, eyes shut as he struggles to keep conscious.

To be honest, he's not even positive he didn't fall asleep by the time Dean speaks again.

“The father know about this?”

“Course he does…” Eden turns his head towards Dean, eyes opening just slightly. The man driving is just a blurry figure, to him…

“Don't take me back there…”

The blurry shape turns its head towards him.

“At least… lemme come down first…”

Dean sighs.

“Yeah, alright. I don't necessarily wanna see Christian have an aneurysm.”

Next time Eden comes to, it’s quiet. The Impala is off.

“C’mon, we’re at a motel.” The drivers door opens, and closes. Eden attempts to open the door, but it's eventually opened by Dean. Who also unbuckles the belt, something Eden had forgotten about anyways.

As he's being helped to his feet, a queasy feeling takes over like a wave.

“Dean….”

Eden weakly pushes the man away just in time for him to hunch over as grossly slimey, room temperature blood rushes up his throat. Eden stumbles as he heaves. Dean’s hands finding his sides to stabilize him.

“Dude…” he can hear the grimace in the taller man’s voice.

“I dunno if you being a vampire makes that more fucked up or less.”

“It's not…” He coughs, “...mine. If that helps you decide…”

“It doesn't.”

Eden tries to stand up straight again, but it feels like a lot more effort than it's worth. But then arms are behind his knees, and he doesn't even try to fight being lifted.

“If you vomit blood on me I'm gonna be pissed.” Dean warns, Eden only mumbles in acknowledgement.

In the room, Dean sets Eden on the bathroom floor. Running a rag under the faucet then tossing it to him.

“Now c'mon. Spill it.”

Eden works on cleaning his face slowly. The cool water on his face makes him grimace. The warmth from fresh blood was gone, but he wasn't quite ready for the cold again.

“What? That I feed on users? The addiction didn't exactly die just because my body did.”

Staring down at the now-red rag, Eden's vision is much clearer. But he doesn't look up at the other.

In the absence of the high, all that's left is every other negative emotion he'd been trying to run from.

“So, it's…”

“Not new? No.” Eden holds up the rag, once Dean takes it he uses his dirty sleeve to wipe the rest of his face. He can still smell it, though.

“Some kinda fucked up joke, if you ask me. Can't escape the same thing that killed me in the first place.”

Head hung low, Eden closes his eyes. Honestly he could fall asleep sitting up like this.

“I never intentionally kill anyone. But gettin bit by a vampire is scary enough as is. Worse when you're high. And the vampire is too… ‘Sides. No one cares if you die on the streets.”

The statement hangs heavy in the air.

After a moment, Dean sighs.

“Hang here, I'll get you clothes.”

Eden lifts his head, but doesn't get a word in before Dean has walked off.

He doesn't react when there's a thump of cloth next to him.

“Can you do it yourself? Or do you want some help.”

“...you don't have to do this.” He glances at the hunter, then the clothes. They were Dean's.

“Bullshit. You called for help, didn't you? Now let me help.”

At first, Eden is quiet. But slowly, he unzips his hoodie and shrugs it off. Holding his arms up as best he can, which is only about halfway, he still refuses to look at Dean properly.

Dean's hands grab the bottom of the tank top Eden wears, and when it's halfway up his torso he speaks.

“...I'm not gonna look like what you expect.” He warns.

“Hey, I'm not here to judge.”

As the clean, dry, shirt is pulled over his head, Eden tries to cooperate to get his arms in the sleeves.

As he lifts his hips from the ground, Eden tries to ignore the familiarity he feels. His thoughts are interrupted when his pants, partially down his thighs, stops. Dean chuckles nervously.

“I-I uh… this okay?”

They make brief eye contact, that Dean is the first to break.

“I'm fine” Eden reassures. “I warned you.”

“I thought you meant your dick was weird! Or small! I dunno.” Despite his arguing, Dean does continue with the process of swapping the pants. Pointedly not looking between Eden's legs.

And despite everything… Eden smiles.

“Small… so you assumed I had a big dick?”

“What?” Dean looks up at him.

“Come on! Hell no. I wasn't thinking about your dick, you're the one who brought it up.”

Eden laughs lightly. The clothes bringing a warmth back to his body again… it was more comfortable than the soaked, bloody ones he was wearing before.

“Thanks, Dean…”

“Yeah, yeah…” He helps the vampire to his feet, leading him back to the beds.

“Sammy stays at the church when we're around. Don't need to worry about him barging in. When the sun goes down, I'll take you back there.”

Eden resists the urge to curl in on himself on the bed.

“I can't go back.”

“I thought you said Christian knew?” Dean points out, sitting on the opposite bed facing him.

“He does. It's why I'm there in the first place. Rehab isn't exactly accessible for vampires.”

“Christian doesn't really strike me as someone who'll kick you to the streets for a relapse.”

Eden rolls onto his side, back facing Dean now…

“You're right. He isn't. He hasn't kicked me out in the past, he probably won't this time… that's why I can't go back. He just… won't give up on me.”

Dean doesn't reply, Eden can tell he's listening, though.

“I don't get it. I don't deserve it. A literal monster that hurts people, yet he invites me into his life…”

Now he is curling on himself.

“You guys are hunters, why won't you just kill me?”

“Can thank Sammy for that. Christian too, really. Those two are a matching pair. See the good in anyone, and anything.” Dean chuckles. It's such an innocent little thing, but it fills Eden with a desperate anger. They move so fast, neither really know what's happening until they're both on the floor.

Eden on Dean, hands wrapped around the hunter's throat. Yet there's absolutely no force behind his grip.

“I'm not a good person!” He shouts.

“I don't deserve redemption! I didn't ask for this!”

Red eyes stare down into green. He doesn't see fear on Dean's face…

“How pathetic am I that even the Winchesters won't kill me?!”

Eden watches as Dean's eyebrows furrow. In a quick motion, their positions flip. Dean's hands pin Eden's wrists to the floor, yet he doesn't struggle.

“Knock it off!” Dean yells back, and Eden's eyes widen. Unable to use his hands to wipe them, tears drip from his eyes.

“Do you know what it's like when you're ready to die, but they won't let you? I don't want to live eternity like this…”

Eden's voice is soft, fragile, even. He watches the emotions Dean works through silently.

“I do, actually. That's just what happens when people care about you. If I can figure it out then you can too. That's why later I'll take you back to that church.”

Dean stares back at him hard…. Then finally releases the vampire's wrists. As he stands, he pulls Eden up with him.

“I think the father is too optimistic. I don't think he's wrong about you, though.”

[csswarchive]

Sam/Christian

Christian POV

997 words

established relationship, hurt/comfort, nightmares, Lucifer, Lucifer!Sam, descriptions of anxiety, religious implications???, good communication (thumbs up), fluff, happy ending

The scent of incense lingers as footsteps approach. Turning to his visitor, a smile forms on his lips.

“Sam…”

Seeing either of the Winchesters was a positive thing in Christian's mind. He doesn't dislike Dean, nowhere close to that. It was just… easier to relax around Sam.

“I hope this isn't a bad time, I thought I'd drop by.”

“Oh! No- I mean! Not a bad time!” Christian looks around, eyes quickly scanning for something regardless of not knowing what it is he's looking for. “We could sit…” He turns to the pews. Then turns in the opposite direction.

“It might be more comfortable in my office…”

Suddenly heat rises to his face. He hasn't seen Sam in months, and he immediately invites him to a private space?

“O-Or maybe we could sit outside!” He immediately tries to backtrack, but freezes when he hears Sam chuckle.

“You worry too much.” He says as he walks closer to Christian, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

Sam's hand brushes his arm, and Christian's heart beats faster when he begins to lean in. Squeezing his eyes shut he waits for the feeling of Sam's lips, doing his best to reciprocate. Christian was inexperienced, though it never seemed to bother the other.

Christian cracks his eye open when Sam pulls away, only for them to fly open. The bright red eyes of Lucifer looking back at him–

The feeling of falling abruptly stops as Christian wakes with a start, heart pounding in his too tight chest. His eyes dart around the dim chapel as he gasps, attempting to manage a deep breath.

What time is it? What time?

Trembling fingers reveal the watch strapped to his wrist-

4:52

Breaths are coming easier, but still shake as Christian attempts to ground himself. Incense meets his nose, though much fainter now having gone out over an hour ago. It was a nightmare, he'd fallen asleep in the pews again.

Christian slowly rises to his feet, quickly realizing two things. One, he's sore; two, he's damp with sweat. The church isn't large, so a point is made to walk softly. He could just… take a shower, and claim to have gotten up early… though somehow he's sure Sam would see through it. Well, regardless, a shower was needed.

Pausing at the doorway to his room, Christian can see Sam asleep in bed. It's Christian's bed, and they've shared it. It wasn't often the Winchesters were in town, but Christian always offered to host. Dean never stayed, but Sam did.

Some of the floorboards creak as Christian makes his way to the bathroom. While his heart rate had receded, his chest still felt a little too tight.

Exhale for eight… inhale for four… hold for seven…

Grey eyes finally face the mirror… He doesn't look great. Tired. Pale. Sure, he is both of those things but now in particular…

The faucet squeaks as the cold water is turned on. It feels good on his hands, and better on his face. Christian meets the mirror again. He doesn't look better, but at least now it's water on his face, not panic sweat.

His eyebrows furrow, though. And Christian frowns as he leans in closer.

“...another one?” He prods at his hair, examining the grey hair that had appeared. It felt like he was finding them more frequently.

Too caught up in his search, he doesn't notice the figure behind him in the mirror…

“You're up early.”

The priest nearly yelps as he jumps, spinning around to a suddenly apologetic looking Sam Winchester.

“Sorry… I shouldn't have assumed you saw me.” He says, his voice still heavy with sleep. He walks up to Christian's side, though.

“What are you doing?”

Another glance at the mirror brings back his current woes, “I found another grey hair…”

He didn't like finding them.

“You're stressed, Christian.” He feels Sam's hand on his back. “You worry too much.”

Christian's breath catches in his throat. Instinctively he withdraws from the touch, eyes wide staring at the taller man. He watches as Sam's expression shifts to alarm.

“Oh shit, did I do something?”

The guilt that he'd been ignoring grows.

“No! Oh, no, Sam. I… I'm sorry, I had a nightmare…” he deflates a little as Sam's look softens.

“I.. I must've fallen asleep in the chapel, and…” Christian hesitates, and even though he averts his eyes, he feels Sam watching.

“You can tell me…” the sincerity of his tone makes the guilt Christian feels unbearable.

“Lucifer. He… I dreamt of Lucifer but–” Christian's voice catches. It's no secret the forces of hell terrify him. Literally, the stuff of nightmares.

“Christian,” Sam's tone makes his throat tighten. “I get it if this is too much, I really do. If I should leave–”

“No!” He finds his voice again.

“No, Sam.”

Despite his fatigue, Christian straightens his back. Looking Sam in the eye, Christian grabs his hand.

“I'm not afraid to admit I'm scared. But my fear of him will never overshadow my faith in you, Sam.” He squeezes his partner's hand.

“I am scared of him but I'm terrified of losing you. I trust you, Sam.”

-”I don't know if you should trust me.”

“But I do.”

Their eye contact doesn't break, but Christian can feel his heart picking up.

By the time Sam wraps his arms around him in an embrace, Christian's heart is pounding. But it's almost immediately that he begins to lean into the other, Sam is still warm from the bed.

Christian wraps his arms around Sam in return.

“I love you…”

“I love you, too.”

With his head on Sam's shoulder, Christian's eyes start to droop as they stand in a comfortable silence.

“...Sam?” He feels Sam's head turn slightly to look at him.

-”Yeah?”

“I'm really tired…”

The soft laugh that escapes the taller male makes him smile lightly.

“You barely sleep, it's no surprise you're tired. Let's go lay down.”.