Kel Anjuman is "who could ever leave me, darling?" and Kellian Saren is "but who could stay?"
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sugar coated brain (the fluid aināt to blame): unraveling Conor Aurelian
I donāt know if this is me admitting to have read embarrassingly little in terms of Actual Books since I turned 18 but. Wow. I loved sword catcher, and for once I was there eating up the plot rather than only relating to the characters so much I was obsessively hoping for a happy ending for them.Ā
Iāve said before that sword catcher was good, so good itās almost above fandom discourse (like a Beethoven symphony perhaps, you think twice before making arrangements of a masterpiece like that) but even the best symphonies deserve, actually theyāre honoured by, critical analysis of the phrasing and melodies and that which are used. And this is a Cassandra Clare book after all. The beauty comes from beautifully (read: realistic, somehow more human than real humans idk Iām blown away every time) constructed characters, and then from the plot. Which was character-driven and so, so delicious, but weāre not talking those kind of spoilers this early in the game.Ā
While Iāll admit that Kel was the most relatable character, followed by Lin or maybe Ana, there were some things about Conor that just cut a little too close in ways I hadnāt thought about in years. Taking me back to some worldbuilding of my childhood, a āreluctant princessā I came up with based on feeling trapped and overprotected and that fantasy world has long since been archived in my head and itās entertaining to think this weird kid in western sydney who didnāt get to run quite as wild as some of the other kids (but still did get to runĀ quiteĀ wild) felt like that when we were the furthest thing from royalty. I didnāt expect to be reminded of that in an adult fantasy book, but here we are, and Iām being entertained to see all the different takes on Conor: some driven to fascination, some to annoyance, and somehow in the 5 of us whoāve actually read sword catcher already everything in between.Ā
But letās be real for a second: who hasnāt heard the āoh you canāt be depressed you have everything you needā and been like. Really hurt by it?? Who hasnāt sat among know it all adults in their younger years who would just judge the hell out of other young people who supposedly ānever got to hear noā and now they have āno resilienceā and āno wonder theyāre having problemsā? Referring to people you actually relate to and thought, well this definitely isnāt a safe space to be vulnerable Iāll just suffer in silence? Iāve grown up enough now to see Linās trauma behind the way she says this about Conor but part of me is still a little mad at her. As for Conor?? Heās everything Iād expect from someone in his position and I actually donāt think the majority of it comes from ānever hearing noā and āgetting everything he wantsā but rather the things that those try to make up for: a lack of real autonomy over his life, not being allowed to feel Normal Child Feelings, having no one he can relate to and see as an equal, a heavy burden of responsibility before he was ever old enough to understand it, and the many levels of fuckery thatās all done to his parents making them not just emotionally unavailable but frivolous, trying to maintain their own autonomy and connection doing silly little rich people hobbies that just make the divide between and resentment of them vs Every Other Person greater (constant stargazing or Decoration and Control). Sugar-coated brains: how could they not be when everything revolves around you but thereās so little you can actually do but pursue the pleasure youāre told youāre entitled to?Ā
I didnāt expect to be this mad at the royal family culture within SC but when I look back on it Iām not surprised. Not when the setting of the book is on the edge of a revolution, the unraveling of a society that feels so much like today and allows me to zoom out in a way that makes my little revolutionist heart happy. But oh, the angst and the bad decisions as the world teeters on that razorblade. The lives that are lost in the fray. I donāt know whatās happening in our world now but after Cast Long Shadows and an arc I know that sheās proud of (our dear Matthew Fairchild) I do trust Cassie. And in the meantime Iāll let her convince me of what I already know: the lives of nobility are simply pawns in a much bigger game no one (except maybe Ana) knows how to take the reins of, and the life of a pawn, no matter the luxuries, is a sorry life indeed.Ā
This little revolutionist brain of the 2000s had one thing right, and I feel vindicated to see it in such clarity here: the relationship between social class and genuine connection. From the stark contrast of the opening with Cas and Kel, even also Mari and Lin, against the disaster that is the royal family, it couldnāt be clearer to me: when youāre nobody, when there are no expectations of you, you can be who you really are. Maybe not in the eyes of the authorities, and thatās an important distinction to make, but thereās no need to pretend around your nearest and dearest and sometimes thatās worth so much more than hypothetical safety. Because yes you can get away with things when youāre rich but youāve also got more people trying to assassinate you for who you are specifically rather than just running the risk of getting killed because youāre unlucky and too unimportant for anyone to think youād be missed. When youāre royalty (or just have parents with really high expectations or are a gifted kid even) youāre given a mold to grow into and no one really asks if thatās who you really are: why would they, when their worldview depends on you being exactly who they want you to be? So if youāre not it you pretend and even with those, like your children, who are close enough to see behind the ruse, you never quite show them who you really are either. You can see how that would drive one insane. You showcase that the only way to exist is to mask until you snap, or lose the ability to be yourself at all. Which leads me to the second type of sugar coat.Ā
(And Iām quoting songs as my inspo behind this post as always, title quote is empty wallets by 5sos and Iām about to move onto sugar coat by little big town aka the band with an irl fairchild in it): this sugar coat is politeness and etiquette. Thereās a quote somewhere in Kelās narration I believe that I canāt find but basically views social etiquette and the like as you know. War strategy or something, which is another little segment of the reminder itās cassie writing this and thereās a lot of accidental neurodivergence, or neurodivergence existing in a world so very different to ours, because thatās a very neurodivergent way of viewing it imo. And in this case, the sugar coat is like a constructed mask you spend your whole life trying to perfect, wear it as itās handed down from your predecessors: in Conorās case, lilibet (passed down from my mum, she wears it so well, put it on my shoulders said itās colder out there than you think/would I recognise myself, would anybody else, if I took the damn thing off and burned it up?) who does make the frivolity and politics of being queen into her whole personality. Sheās equally a pitiable and annoying character for that.Ā
But as for Conor? Heās a Cassandra Clare Created (TM) young man. Of course he canāt quiteĀ manageĀ this kind of sugar coat business. The politeness, the etiquette, the little social dances: he longs for real connection (and now weāre back inĀ empty walletsĀ territory,Ā get you high when Iām high, so we see eye to eye:Ā to me this sums out how he makes connections with those who are nowhere near his equals but he wants to have some sort of equal footed connection with: Kel and *[redacted minor spoiler, see below cut]). Heās snapping from the pressure of it, and thatās exactly the kind of driving force for the narrative Cassie usesĀ excellently. We see him coming undone, and hate it (or at least I do) but hope maybe, maybe itās the path for liberation for him from the life thatās obviously making him (more) depressed (than he otherwise might be), and as the audience we donāt care if the kingdom burns down for this, as long as it doesnāt cause too much collateral damage. And we know itās going to be a wild ride to get there.Ā
I donāt reckon this is obvious to everyone else but it is to me, with my experience of Christianity and life and just everything that if youāre a leader in any way, youāre a better leader for being liberated in yourself, having autonomy and appropriate boundaries and Conor has none of that and heās coming undone and yes thereās a lot of other characters (who I will post about later) with their own arcs and A LOT going on (seriously itās so deliciously complex and so much more so than tsc ever was with maybe the exception of tec which is kind of adult fantasy anyway). But oh. She really knows how to deliver, all through the first book and I canāt wait to see what the next one has to offer!! And to me the characterisation of Conor is just proof on how expertly the whole world of Castellane and itās stories is being carried out.Ā
BIG GAP CAUSE CUT ISNT WORKING
*and Lin later on, kind of
tagging: @daisymylove and feel free to mention anyone who might like it in comments/reblogs!
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āļøSword Catcher, spoilersāļø
this never gets old, does it?
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I wish to feel the pain so that I remember it. So that I remain angry.
āPrince Conor, from Sword Catcher
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Sword Catcher, chapter 18
this was sooo good! Had me cackling XD
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when he thinks about her too much:
it's disgusting (the cruel prince, holly black)
it's like a fever (sword catcher, cassandra clare)
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Joss Falconet, Vienne dāEste, and Jerrod Belmerci from Sword Catcher!!
Art by Sasha Coleman
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Endpaper illustrations for Illumicrate edition of Sword Catcher by Cassandra Clare.
In the actual book, they're positioned in a way that makes them look at each other across the pages <3
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Cassie-written friendships >>>
š„¹
A TSC fan would recognize this everywhere, am I right? I wonder if it was done on purpose, an Easter egg of sorts. This is the typical parabatai interaction we get in every tsc series
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Considering the fact that I repeatedly broke down while making this, Iād really appreciate it if this piece also didnāt flop š
(bonus points to whoever figures out the other flowers and why I included them)
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