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The Magnus Archives Dashboard Simulator

🕷️ arachnophobia-incarnate Follow

Oh my god oomfies you’ll never believe what I just found

1,937,328 notes

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

HELP THERES A DOG ON MY DESK???

2 notes

🫖 poet-tea Follow

HELP I JUST LET MY DOG INTO MY BOSS’S OFFICE??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

🛶 timtimothy Follow

LMAOOOOO

176 notes

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

I think there’s a wasp’s nest in my attic. I’m gonna go check it out.

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

Do you hear that

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

This is kind of a bop actually

☕️ ihavenohotcocoa Follow

op? op are you ok

2,332 notes

🎭 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

going on a date tomorrow! 😀

🛶 timtimothy Follow

haha what.

🛶 timtimothy Follow

can you repeat that op

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op?

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op can you repeat that

57 notes

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

I love my job. Everything just goes according to plan exactly how I want it to.

📖 bookluvr Follow

Hi

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

hey sorry for this but you wouldn’t happen to have seen a lead pipe lying around would you?

80 notes

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

does anyone have any skin? For no reason whatsoever of course. Like if you just have it lying around. Out of use.

🌀 funhousemirrorman Follow

why do you need skin

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

wouldn’t you like to know, door boy

101 notes

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

is there wifi down here

⚰️ wakelyupwhenimdead Follow

no

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

HELLO?? HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

I CAN! I CAN HEAR YOU

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

Oh. You.

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

What. What does that mean

142 notes

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

I can sense a promotion coming soon I’m so excited !!!

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

are you SERIOUS

🛶 timtimothy Follow

I’m going to kill that old man with my bare hands HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO YOU QUEEN

162 notes

👤 averagescarehater Follow

WHYYY IS THE SKY LOOKING AT MEEEE

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

my bad

200 notes

[custard-cream-queen]

FREAKS

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Alice. Alice please. I can't.

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Reminder that when Mr Bonzo was first introduced in the arg, people immediately started tumblr sexy man-ify him. They shipped him with Mr Blobby and full on crashed the discord thread that they were taking in (I didn’t know that was possible)

This screenshot of April from Rusty Quill says it all:

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headcannon that the truck that kills you when you roll snake eyes on the Evil Dice is driven by this universe’s breekon and hope

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It's so funny that at the beggining the fandom HC was that Gwen is gonna be this season's Elias, the cold, scheming and brutal puppetmaster with machiavellian ways, but after episode 10 everyone is like "oh, oh no, she's Jon".

Enjoy your suffering Gwen, I guess, you poor lass.

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"my house belongs to a freakish clown monster"

Yeah, Nigel? So does mine. You're not special. They're called landlords.

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[tape recorder clicks]

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every single possible thought I was brainstorming about this episode came to a screeching halt when I heard the click of that tape recorder

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I think Sam's about to get another mysterious email from Jon where the subject line is just "you fucking idiot"

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I don’t think I could ever truly be as unhinged as the real Alex

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Today is the only day you can Reblog this

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Jon’s little whispered “it is remarkably easy to buy an axe in central London,” will always be one of my favourite random lines from TMA. The police may claim to be tackling knife crime but nothing can stop one (1) sleep deprived archivist with unchecked paranoia

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caesars assassination but with empty cardboard tubes

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The Magnus Archives becoming a comfort listen is so funny to me because its like "awe man I need something familiar and comfortable to listen to" and its one man going through the most uncomfortable 5 seasons of horror bullshit you've ever heard.