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#. r; golden boy wonder #. otp; names #{ because we were flinging videos at each other and this is my best up to date xD }

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Sarah Gadon for Jaeger-LeCoultre Photographed by Caitlin Cronenberg

#. looking glass girl

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Insane? Maybe she was - maybe she’d lost her mind.

Narcissa knew she ought to tell him to go back inside again, the words settling on the tip of her tongue and waiting to be spoken. Lies usually came easy to the blonde, but ‘I don’t want you here’ refused to surface. What she wanted and what she knew was best were in conflict. It had nothing to do with the rain or the last remnants of winter’s chill. He wasn’t supposed to be involved in all of this - the situation...her life. James Potter had no role to play on the stage that had become her existence; there had never even been a part in the script for a character like him. 

And yet he’d quite literally wrote himself in.

The loud crackling of thunder gave way in place of her words, blue eyes silently searching his face as she tried to piece together some form of coherency from the storm brewing inside of her. What was she supposed to answer anyway? No one wanted to hear that she couldn’t breath, or that she couldn’t shake the crippling weight on her chest and shoulders. 

“No, don’t --” Her voice trailed off, the sentence left unfinished as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Don’t touch me. She swallowed thickly, angry at the fresh stinging of tears about her eyes. She didn’t want pity. Comfort wasn’t supposed to come from him. Out of all the people in her life, it wasn’t supposed to be him.

But she wanted it so badly.

“Don’t.”

It started with a sob, wretched and angry as she broke against him. Narcissa’s weight crashed into his chest, face burying in the crook of neck while small hands battered against the wall he provided. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t even remotely fair. When no one else was there, James always was - but she wasn’t allowed to take comfort in that. There was nothing wrong about his being there. He had never hurt her in their moments alone like the others. He didn’t keep things from her. And yet...they were the d i r t y secret. 

She’d stopped hitting him, calmed by his warmth and the familiar scent of his cologne. The Slytherin inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as she allowed tired arms to wrap around the boy. Her heart pounded erratically in her chest. This wasn’t the same as sitting together or leaning on one another over the pages of a book. Narcissa wasn’t accustomed to being held, but she melted into James a little too naturally.

In fact, reason flew out the window when her mouth grazed his pulse, feeling the faint drum of it against her lips. She certainly wasn’t thinking when she leaned away or when her hands anchored on his shoulders, thumbs falling beneath his collar bone. 

She just felt like kissing him and the girl was too tired to smother that want.

He tasted a bit like cinnamon - the faint traces of fire whiskey - and she held on harder. 

Andromeda had always said it was like looking for fireworks, but what Narcissa felt was nothing like that. Her fingers tangled in his dark hair and it was like being on the sea. Waves crashing. Wind rushing. Time and circumstance were the very last thoughts in her mind when she parted her lips, his name whispered breathlessly into their embrace.

“James...please.”

rainy zurich | NAMES

#r; golden boy wonder #. t: rainy zurich

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narcissamacaulays:

Sarah Gadon for Glamour Italia September Edition

#. looking glass girl #{ sorry about the absence guys. i've been pretty sick :c }

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rainy zurich | NAMES

The rain is cool against her porcelain flesh, face turned towards the heavens as Narcissa Black wanders aimlessly through the quad. The girl is properly drenched. The muggle dress - an old gift from Andromeda - that she’d pulled from the dregs of her trunk is practically stuck to her limbs and clinging to her form. She’s meant to be inside, of course - it’s well after hours and there’s a messy haired Gryffindor waiting to pick up their midnight meetings once more.

Certainly, it’s not as if she means to be out here.

It’s only that she needs to breathe and she can’t do it within the confines of her cloistered dorm room. Narcissa is afflicted with some unknown curse. Something clawing deep within her chest and tearing at her throat. Whatever it is, there’s something that tells her she can face it better out here. Each drag of air through her lungs is cold and welcome.

Somewhere from within, the blonde realizes she blames the necklace resting against her collar - yet another gift from her father. Her parents are always quick with some shiny jewel to divert her attentions and ease her mind. Oh yes, that was what she needed! As if such items were comparable to human compassion, empathy and understanding.

Junk! It was all junk! The wreckage left in her room was the physical imprint of her thoughts.

All of her laces and finery were in disarray. Every trinket and bauble her parents had thought to give her when they couldn’t be present themselves? They were all strewn across the floor in her attempt to find something that didn’t remind her of the museum she called a home and the emptiness that dwelt inside it. That was all she was, after all - an exhibit to gawk and look at! She wore what they told her and acted as instructed. Everything that she did was this carefully and cleverly orchestrated thing.

And yet where had it gotten her?

Narcissa was a creature of comfort. Happiness had never really been high on her list of desires, but stability and security had always reigned supreme. These were the things that were promised to her - the things due her for playing her part to absolute p e r f e c t i o n. This she had done. This she was still doing, and yet there was nothing to show for it but a shiny bauble to clasp at her throat. It might as well have been a hangman’s noose.

Suffocated. It was such a perfectly adequate word for how she was feeling. Ever since that wretched night she had surrounded herself with the very people that had broken her bubble of glass. Lucius and Bellatrix had ultimately destroyed the blanket of security she had thought wrapped tightly around herself. Whatever they did, whoever they did it to - she had been certain that she would always be safe. Above it, so to speak. She was a Black, nothing could harm her.

As long as she followed the path laid out before her without question, Narcissa would always have the stability, comfort and security that she needed. Perhaps the other students were all right about her? She was nothing but a sheep and all of those promises had turned out to be a lie.

Even now she smothered her feelings for the sake of others! There were no calming breaths after waking up in the infirmary - only calculated action. Narcissa couldn’t grieve or show the slightest weakness, instead she had to spend time with her attackers - love them, as she loved no others. Every ounce of energy had been devoted to making their lives easier and lessening the load on their shoulders while she carried her burden alone.

Even for her it had become too much and the moisture on her face is warmer than the rain falling down.

“Go back inside, James -” 

Narcissa knows it’s him, but she turns around all the same, her blue gaze lifting through her lashes in a weary examination of his face. It’s hard to muster any sort of emotion to her words.

“- you’ll get your hair wet.”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #. t: rainy zurich

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xpraelia:

          “––– I don’t need anyone checking up on me.”

             “ Don’t you? People might think you’re hiding something. ”

#xpraelia #. f; the female warrior #.short

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rottnx:

“Spring sure brings a fresher breeze with it, doesn’t it? Too bad half the castle is still so…melancholic.”

“ I’m afraid not everyone can smell the roses, Rodolphus. Perhaps they don’t have as much to be thankful for as you or I? ”

#rottnx #.short #. r; the lechy cad

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malxfoi:

Black soles of polished shoes pace around the carpeted floor, stepping over the ashes with single hand in a pocket while the other played mindlessly with the wand in his fingers. Leaning against the white marbled structure decorating the chimney in the infamous snake’s nest, he taps the surface with the tip of his wand - pale blue eyes too calm and too focused all at once. Yet these shoot up towards the end of the hall, by the girl’s dormitory, at the slightest sight of movement. If anyone caught glance of Lucius Malfoy on this lovely Saturday afternoon, they’d think his fiddle fingers are a simple result of the nervousness in his heart and impatience to see his beloved betrothed. Poor boy, so sweet of him, they’d whisper, to yearn for his awaken future bride - a tragic love indeed!

They knew little of the twist in his lungs, a blaze-like sharpness that cut him open, rising vile to his throat and acid to his tongue.

Cold drops of sweat ran down his back at the flashes of that dreadful night. In a blink of an eye, a night of meticulous planning and cheer diversion turned into a cruel, living nightmare. If he closed his eyes, he could still see the light dissolve from Bellatrix’s stare, dead cold still as the limb body of his sister thrust into the wall. Narcissa Cygne Black - a porcelain doll with blood stains smearing pearly flesh, tinging perfect golden curls spread over the blackened floor. It was petrifying, the piercing silence that reined - panic slipping through their senses and running high on the bloodstream of all three wicked warlocks. And he should have stayed - Merlin knows he should have stayed. He, the husband to be, the protector of their future family, left the scene a scurry rat too scared of getting caught. All the wizard had done was leave her inert, delicate figure curled against the wall.

Coughs attack his lungs, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket as he cleaned the sweat on his neck. Lucius Malfoy was no suspicious man, even less a man of God, but he couldn’t help the nagging feeling tugging at his heartstrings telling him that this was justice.

When he hears light steps approaching, the aristocrat turns around - feeble smile on his lips, and an arm offered for her to hold. He can barely meet her eyes - striking, clear condoning eyes - when his gaze wavers to the side. What is she thinking? How will she react? Does she curse his beating heart in the privacy of her mind?

“Narcissa,” he licks his lips, breath caught in the back of his throat. “It’s good to finally see you.” Leaning over - slow and vacillating - he places a soft kiss on her cheek, with an arm gently hugging around her waist; purely a show, he knows, for those curious eyes lingering in the common room.

“May we go out, darling?”

To be hard, Narcissa must first learn to be pliant.

The gaze that she has to offer him is deceptively warm, trailing over his pale features almost affectionately as the pale blonde allowed herself to be drawn into his embrace. Coward. It was the vile whisper in her brain, an insult longing to be thrown his way. Repulsion and derision were the emotions beating beneath her breast, but she hid them well - as she must. She even leaned into his kiss, offering up her alabaster cheek for better access as she wrapped her lithe arms around his neck. In that moment they were a pretty picture of infatuation and adoration - a doting fiance and his loving bride to be.

Had he held her so close when she was broken and battered, bleeding onto the castle wall? Certainly, they both knew the answer to that: a firm and resounding no.

There had been no love as he fled the scene like a flea-bitten dog; only fear for himself and his precious image. He had left her for the wolves to find and they were both lucky that it was Remus Lupin who had stumbled upon her and not some other depraved student, clamoring for her privileged pure blood. The rumors that had amassed during her time in the infirmary had been more than enough to show her how few friends she had in the castle.

“Lucius, darling.” She speaks his name against the line of his cheek, her lips brushing warmly against his flesh. What she feels, she locks deep away with everything else.

“Why don’t we just stay in tonight?”

Polished nails graze against the hair at the nape of the boy’s neck as she pulls away. A too blue gaze is trained on gray irises, as if she has eyes only for him. Somehow she manages to contort her features into the form of a petulant pout, allowing the very real exhaustion she feels to seep into her expression.

“It’s only that I’m still not feeling myself,” she insists. It’s not a lie; not really. Narcissa isn’t certain who she is anymore - only what she must be. Lucius, Bellatrix and Rodolphus - they had all made a mess of things and despite her personal feelings or her own trauma, it was up to her to sweep up the debris left behind. She slips from his grip long enough to take his hand in her own, entwining their fingers as the witch leads him to one of the empty sofas in the common room. There was no escaping the many eyes that trailed their way.

This is, after all, for their benefit - Narcissa Black, the bloody crowd pleaser. Let them have what they wanted.

Even though it’s the last thing she wants at the moment, the prefect manages to curl into Lucius’ side. Disgust and apprehension are swallowed like a bitter pill and she even manages to place a pale hand on his thigh, even if she squeezes the fabric and flesh beneath her grip a little harder than she ought to have.

“If you think for one sliver of a moment that I want to be with you alone -”

Her words are whispered into the curve of his ear, lips all smiles for their audience and a slender body attentive to his. She, at least, is above reproach.

“You really are a fool.”

penance | LUCISSA

#malxfoi #. r; perfect match #. t: penance

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goldenprat:  

“Fantastic idea! We’ll get Sirius, Andromeda, and someone unbiased - maybe Arthur, or even Diggory. If Mr. Lupin speaks a little to high of me, make sure to tell me, because he’ll become the favorite. You should also believe him because Mr. Lupin never lies and he speaks from the heart, I assure you. You know, I don’t get it. I don’t get why they make the students - 15, 16, 17 year olds do patrols after all that has happened. Where the hell is the logic in that? It’s like tripping over the same bloody stone.”

“Make sure to pick a pretty dress at least, and try to enjoy whatever you can - hey, perhaps Andromeda will hex one or two people, that can be fun. Of course I will write to you, how am I supposed to keep sane? Hrm, yes, I’m actually glad the break is soon. Mom and dad didn’t sound so cheery in their last letter.”

“ Everyone lies, James. You’ll have to excuse me if I fail to see how Mr. Lupin is any different - as long as he does not lie to my sister, I can even accept that the occasional dishonesty must indeed pass over his lips. Certainly, there are more reasons for lies than truths these days. As for the question of logic, I suppose Dumbledore is a practical enough man. When one needs something done, they use the tools they have at their disposal. What does this castle have in abundance? That is what prefects are - tools for the keeping of this wretched institution. ”

“ Your optimism overwhelms; I don’t know how I could have ever thought it’d be anything but a day in the park. How, indeed? You’ll get to see Sirius every day while I listen to Regulus insist he wants nothing to do with him and I imagine Andromeda will find ways to be with Remus. Certainly, your sanity will suffer greatly. These are dour times, I imagine that darling face of yours will cheer them right up. ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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outofdaffodils;;

I’m going to be working on the small things I owe and a couple of longer starters tonight. Just to refresh, I play Narcissa here, Remus Lupin, Arthur Weasley and Rabastan Lestrange. If you want to plot something, you can just message me. <3

#outofdaffodils;

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goldenprat:

“Nonsense, my faith in you is completely realistic and supported. Yeah…well, at least he keeps to himself. He has his good traits, Peter - he’s awfully sarcastic, and an ace with wizard’s chess. Are you telling me you wouldn’t believe if Remus spoke highly of me? Ah, way to break my heart, sweets. They are making you do patrols so soon?”

“Parties, and birthdays, and weddings, sounds like you’ll have a hellish busy time. Not really, probably pestering you, making sure Sirius and my mom stop bonding over getting me to do my laundry, and I’ll probably be around with my mates most of the time.”

“ Supported? Why don’t you court public opinion and see how it stands, hm? I feel like I’ve garnered enough of your personality at this point to discern what’s real and what is complete hogwash, at the very least. If Mr. Lupin takes it upon himself to raise you a little too high, I’d like to think I’d know the lies from the truth. It hasn’t been said, but I presume that will be the case. They might wait till after the break when some of the madness has died down, but I don’t see what there is in the halls to be afraid of. ”

“ Keeping busy is how one keeps sane, I think. Although, I’m not particularly overjoyed at any of those prospects or the thought of crowds. So you will write to me, then? There is something to look forward to. At least you will be away from the suffocating air of the castle. ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“Incapable and Narcissa Black are never in the same phrase, so I dare to disagree with you. No one can get to Lestrange’s level if we’re to be honest. I hear he’s never seen without a bottle of scotch lately. Peter can get there, though, don’t give up on him. Yeah, yeah, he’s the big bad of the group. No! I am the most level one - hold up, I’ll have to tell him to convince you.”

“My ego can be saved if you name these merits, however. Well, the break is nearly here so you won’t have to see other people… any plans for that?”

“ Your faith in me is astounding, I assure you. Ah yes, the scotch. Please, don’t remind me. Even when he’s not around and I’ve closed my eyes, the smell still lingers. But let’s not talk about that or Peter’s potential alcoholic status, it’s quite depressing. If that’s the case, I’ll resign myself to taking every word that leaves Lupin’s mouth with a grain of salt. I’ll have patrols with him again soon enough. ”

“ I suppose there will be a party for the birthday I spent here and that I am very much alive; a fact my family will inevitably want to flaunt. Otherwise, I imagine reading, gardening and Bellatrix’s wedding prep are in my near future. I suppose you’ve got something more exciting going on? ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“I would ask my friend to breathe. Well, now I feel like you’re poking fun at me and I’m not sure if I should be upset or proud. I am the image of restraint. Peter? He does double vodka shots like no other. Sirius? Ah, I don’t have to tell you, he’s absolutely relentless. Remus? I’m half sure he can’t say no to your sister so his resistance diminishes the moment she walks in. So, yes, I am the most mature and in control of them all. If that level of normalcy means that I will see you daily, then I have no issue with that.”

“And as the receiver of such gratitude, I hold that it’s not necessary. But I can say, anytime.”

“ Ah, but I have no sense of humor and a complete, utter lack of capacity for fun-having. You must be mistaken; I’m incapable of what you suggest. Double vodka shots? Rabastan Lestrange is functional after much more than that, I dare say Peter is quite tame in comparison. Sirius is always one to set the bar, there’s no helping it...or him, for that matter. Andromeda has that effect on men, and I daresay Remus is easily the most level among you.  ”

“ Though, that isn’t to say you aren’t without your merits and yes, that is exactly what that means. I’ve quite had it with other people. ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“I said I think for a reason. But don’t worry about it - actually, don’t worry about anything for a while, will you? Ah, how you understand me! See, I have this awful reputation around the castle that is simply nonexistent. Me? Imprudent and impulsive? Blasphemy! Had the situation not been so…bad, I almost imagine I would have laughed at his reaction. But it was a bit hard to find enough energy to laugh back then.”

“Of course I came to see you. We’re friends - best friends, are we not? No need to thank me for that.”

“ Would you ask a fish not to swim, I wonder? Certainly, you are the most somber and cautious creature that I know. Not a single impulsive bone in your body. The image of restraint in your little group, I assure you. Yes well, it’s over now, isn’t it? We can all go back to some level of normalcy, no? I’d like to find some sort of routine again. ”

“ It’s the accuracy of that statement that deserves my thanks. ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“I think I see what you mean. Not that I can relate, really, I’m a bit of a hot heated fool if you hadn’t guessed by now. Nothing, really - forget I mention it. He was just a bit surprised, as expected. Ah, well…it’s a long story, really. I’m sorry I told him, before even discussing it with you, I was just…well, Andromeda wouldn’t let anyone near you - a good idea, probably - and I just…I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Sirius will know, yes - in proper time. Whenever that might be.”

“ I sincerely doubt that, James. No, I couldn’t have guessed that you are the charge forth, guns blazing type. The very notion is entirely unfathomable and impossibly new to me. Surprised? Certainly, I can see how that might be the prevalent emotion. It’s probably the tamest out of the spectrum of the expected. Alas, the world hasn’t ended from someone knowing. There’s always that, isn’t there? ”

“ You came to see me. Thank you. ” 

#goldenpart #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“You’re not angry? There’s no hesitation in my part, simply - well, I’m sure he understands it’s a friendship. To be honest, at that point I didn’t even think about how I felt about it. Remus found out on his own, and I was too desperate to pretend otherwise. I guess I feel the same. Padfoot - Sirius will find out soon enough, yet I’m just not sure if it’s better that he does on his own, or by us.”

“ I suppose I haven’t quite made it there yet. It’s a disjointed feeling, really. Like my body and my mind aren’t quite connected. It’s easier to go through the motions if you don’t think about them. He understands? What else would he think this is? How did it happen, if you don’t mind my asking? In a perfect world I would have told Andromeda already. I’d rather they hear it from us - it’s just the timing...  ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short

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goldenprat:

“Listen, Narcissa, I will stop you right now. There is no such thing as feeling sorry for you. I am angry for you, and I am angry with everyone else, because those - those idiots got away with it. But it’s better not to dwell in that much longer. It’s fine, Cissy. I mean, I’m certainly not getting the worst out of it. But let’s see, cheerful things, happy news -yeah, your sister and my best friend, who might or might not know about our…friendship. “

“ Anger, is it? I wonder what that must be like. You’re right, let’s not dwell. Is there a reason for that hesitation, James? I am your friend. I trust you, so I suppose I can believe in your trust in him. It is a relief, in a way...or yet another thing to add to the mountain of things to be cautious about. I’m uncertain. Sirius won’t like that progression if he ever finds out. ...How do you feel about it? ”

#goldenprat #. r; golden boy wonder #.short