daisyquakes
destroyer of worlds
et tu, brute? send tweet.
1068 posts
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dontstopwhenipassout
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Not Your Average Podcast
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vengeancedemons:
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): his version of support is ‘damn that sucks, let’s go kill someone’ is that really what you want here
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): you saying i’ve got no heart?
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): oh, i’m /sorry./ excuse /me/ for still being traumatized about going to literal hell. several times! back to back! i get to milk this forever, daisy. that’s the rule.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): i’m not on reddit. and i have interests outside of my car, you know!
[…]
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): the world probably /would/ be ending. it seems to do that once a week
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): well you should have been more specific about that, then
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): why?
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): you don’t like hearing the truth?
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): depends on who you're killing
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you know what- forget i said anything. that was a low moment
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): i'm pretty sure the tin man convinced himself he couldn't love or be loved. it was all a metaphor. after all, the scarecrow being given a degree is not the same thing as being "smart" it was just a physical token to make him believe in himself
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): that's not the rule. i'm changing the rules and that's now allowed. otherwise i get to milk being an orphan with a track record of shitty boyfriends / dead boyfriends to guilt you into giving me more affection
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): liking my ass is not an interest
[...]
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): that's fair
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): yeah i'll make sure that i write you a love note before getting arrested next time. just: hey shield! pause so i can tell the guy who never picks up his socks that i'm gonna brb
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): i only like it when you use it to compliment me
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vengeancedemons:
“You’d better chew that,” Robbie warned, hiding an amused grin behind another bag of takeout. “My Heimlich Maneuver’s gone to shit since the Devil made me immortal.” It was painfully domestic, but in a way he’d grown used to since their conversation about what it was they were building here. And it was a good thing. Gabe mentioned, the last time they spoke, that Robbie seemed happier now. Lighter, almost. It was a hard thing for his brother to admit, given his own personal misgivings about Daisy, but he smiled when he said it and Robbie figured that was a step in the right direction. Maybe someday, the two of them would be able to sit in the same room without passive aggressive barbs aimed at one another’s throats. Maybe pigs would learn to fly, too.
Robbie looked away as she spoke, smile soft in a way that was reserved exclusively for her and Gabe. “Yeah, yeah,” he replied, following through on her prediction by brushing the comment off. He reached up and took her hand, bringing it from his brow down to his lips and pressing it against them gently. “You know I’m glad you’re here, too, right?”
/
Daisy was tempted to take a large bite just to spite him. She doubted she'd choke - but she also doubted that he or the Rider would let her die like that. They had been through hell and back. Literally. It was too much for them to pretend like it end so easily. Though, was she willing to risk it for a joke? The answer was on the line of yes, but she managed to keep herself on the side of safety. At least in this instance. She towed that line daily in every other aspect. Daisy shrugged, mischief in her eyes as she started unwrapping the food. "You might want to reword that. I hate orders."
This softness was something that was unique to him. She had felt love a few times in her life before him. Chased the feeling here more than once, desperately trying to find a place to call her home. Willful ignorance had kept them apart, and now she was looking at him like this - and knowing how he'd react long before he took action. Brushing off compliments just as she had expected. "You always do that," she scolded, no heat in her voice, just a gentle irritation. "I'm talking about you. Stop turning it around." Another moment passed. "I love you."
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vengeancedemons:
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): really? you’re going to call me a loser while i’m recounting my /traumatic/ time in hell? not very supportive of you.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): don’t objectify me. i have a brain.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): oh, i’m sorry, i’m out of practice on making grocery lists. on account of the hell thing.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): really? because i seem to remember that happening /very/ clearly. my back sure as shit remembers sleeping on that damn couch.
[…]
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): wouldn’t know. you’ve never let me enjoy it.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): and it didn’t leave me with much of one, either! what do you expect me to do? /not/ open a portal to hell? get real.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): i’m not the one who’s set off the smoke alarm half a dozen times here
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): which, considering the fact that i’m the only one out of the two of us with fire powers, is interesting.
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): the rider is there to support you. he's got this :)
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you're right, you're more of the tin man type of guy
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): the hell thing was SO long ago, asshole
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): and that was your choice. i was naked in your bed and you were scrolling through reddit. or whatever car guys scroll through
[...]
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you'd freak out in a silent house. i've ruined it for you. you'd think the world is ending
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): i expected you to VISIT ME not tunnel through hell while using your soul as a shovel and hoping nothing came after it
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): shut up
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): i said SHUT UP
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impulselantern:
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): i ask the tough questions. the hard hitting ones. i’m brave
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): DO YOU SLEEP NAKED?
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): YOU CAN’T SHOW UP NAKED
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): ??? she’s got a crush on your man and you’re trusting her to bring you something to wear?
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): she’s gonna put poison in the nightgown. like, it’s gonna absorb into your skin. and you’re gonna die
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): and then she’s gonna move in on your boyfriend
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): don’t say i didn’t warn you
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): is it bravery? or is it you putting weird vibes into existance and me deciding to take off with them and use them? team work, maybe?
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): depends on the day and if robbie brought me tamales or not
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): i absolutely could show up naked... should i is a different matter
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): you really think i'm threatened by the old lady next door? she gonna seduce him with her lack of spices?
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): jesus christ what kind of old ladies do you know??? has one killed one of your exes or something? you okay over there?
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): i'm starting to think you're the one who is going to kill me for robbie
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): i'm coming naked. you've convinced me
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“Starving,” Daisy admitted before making grabbing hands at the food and attacking the bags he had brought in. Every time he brought home some food, she found herself grateful all over again that he didn’t stand there and shame her for not being able to do basic things - like cooking. He was good in a lot of ways that he didn’t take credit for. (Or maybe May had been right and she had been accepting below the bare minimum for so long that now she was given so much more it felt amazing.
“I mean it though, you’re gonna brush it off because that’s what you do, Reyes.” It echoed another time that was years behind them. She reached out and brushed some of his hair from his face, dragging her thumb gently across his eyebrow. “It means a lot.”
you’re here and that is enough. // @daisyquakes
The words were an echo of a conversation a million years ago, when Robbie was fresh out of Hell and already knowing he’d have to go back sooner rather than later. You’re here now, and that’s good. It made him feel just as warm now as it had then, because people rarely felt that way.
Smiling faintly, he rolled his eyes and stacked the bags in his hands on the counter. “You’re just saying that because I brought takeout,” he said dryly, leaning in to give her a peck on the cheek. “It’s Thai. I figured you’d be hungry.”
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vengeancedemons:
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): it is my ace in the hole. hell is a tough thing to beat, so. i win.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): my being sexy is beside the point here.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): and what? see what’s NOT in there? how the hell do i know what’s not in there because we’re out of it and what’s not in there because we don’t use it?
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): i was making an ASSUMPTION. if you want chips, you gotta TELL me. otherwise, i bring chips home and it’s “what made you think i would want these?” and then i somehow end up on the damn couch
[…]
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): great. maybe then i can get some peace and quiet.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): then stop winding up in places i’ve gotta portal you out of
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): christ.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): you want a home cooked meal?
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): fine. i’ll make you a home cooked meal.
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): no you lose. you’ve lost. you’re a loser
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): if being sexy isn’t the point then???
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): YOU MAKE A LIST, REYES. A LIST. IT’S WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO.
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): oh my god you’re so dramatic. that has never happened.
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): [unsent] except that last time when
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): never. ever.
[...]
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you’d be bored with peace and quiet
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): IT WASN’T A CHOICE
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): christ yourself
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): yes
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): unburnt please
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impulselantern:
“I can talk and eat your food,” Simon replied, looking down at the pastry. He wasn’t exactly hungry, because he’d guilted Jessica into buying him breakfast just a few hours ago despite the fact that he definitely wasn’t ‘can’t afford to eat’ broke just yet, but… He was also never one to say no to a free pastry. And Daisy had them just sitting out. When she knew he was stopping by. Not letting him have one really made her a bad host, more than anything.
Glancing up at her, Simon snorted. “Come on, you’re not actually mad, are you? I’m sorry I suggested you were gonna murder your boyfriend!” He wasn’t actually sorry, but he was also pretty sure that she wasn’t actually upset, so it kind of balanced out. “Does that mean you want to win my heart with something else? Because if so, I wanna toss in a request for poetry. Write me a sonnet, Daisy, and I won’t eat your pastries. That’s my bargain here.” It seemed fair.
/
“Don’t be a monster.” Having Simon over was like having Fitz over, he went through everything and touched everything because he wanted to know what she was keeping in the cupboards and if it was different from his arrangement — and boundaries had never been something he was good at. And this was just as familiar, even if it came with a different face. “You could also ask before grabbing my shit, just because it’s here and you’re in my home doesn’t mean you get to do whatever. It’s rude!”
Though it was like leaving a tray of cookies on the table and telling her guests they could look but not touch. It wasn’t exactly fair. “He loves my cooking by the way.” Debatable. He loved her, but that wasn’t the same, was it? Lying as he ate burnt chicken for the third time that week because he didn’t want to upset her. (Even though she was wrinkling her nose at the blackened parts herself and wondering where she went wrong.) “I don’t want to — shut up.” She waved her hands in the air and then shoved him out towards the front room, away from the pastries. “No. Poetry has too many rules. My bargain is stop mooching.”
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glxrious-purpose:
[Miss Johnson] Is the repetition in all capitals because you are pleased or displeased? I can never keep mortal jargon clear.
[Miss Johnson] Why thank you. I thought it was rather witty.
[Miss Johnson] Though it becomes less witty if you attempt to analyze it.
[Miss Johnson] No, it certainly does not. Clearly I am not the only one who sees that humans are disappointing.
[Miss Johnson] If you did get any “bonus points,” your human side still cancels them out.
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): it really depends on context - but i am pleased, very pleased, this is hilarious
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): most things don’t stand up to a magnifying glass, but that’s just life. still a good joke though
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): we are a versatile species, a blessing and a curse
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): okay then thor dating a human cancels it out for you, guilty by relation :)
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(✉️ ➡️ borked the timestream ): okay maybe not
(✉️ ➡️ borked the timestream ): but shut up and stop calling me out?
(✉️ ➡️ borked the timestream ): this is your guide to friendship: don't be that guy.
[...]
(✉️ ➡️ borked the timestream ): any respectable adult, actually
[ text ]: I’m certain he heard me shout and LOUDLY ‘nap time comes before pants time’. // @daisyquakes
(✉️ ➡️ NOT from the future): is that the weirdest thing he’s ever heard you yell?
(✉️ ➡️ NOT from the future): because i’m willing to bet it’s not.
[…]
(✉️ ➡️ NOT from the future): what kind of adult has a naptime.
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(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): why would you ask a question like that
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): though you're right to ask, i don't wear pajamas
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): HOLD ON i need to see if my neighbor can bring one of those over, she's a sweet old lady who i'm p sure has a crush on robbie
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): which is also funny
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): tho part of me thinks she might just flirt with him so he'll bring up the groceries for her and honestly, respect
(✉️ ➡️ pickle juice ): but i can get an old timey nightgown. i want this drama
[ text ]: Does today require people clothes or can I just wear my pyjamas? // @daisyquakes
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): that depends
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): what are your pajamas?
(✉️ ➡️ literally shaking): this dude has, like, 0 concept of earth culture. he’s probably gonna think your pajamas are regular clothes. BUT he has seen the christmas movie where the duck is scrooge, so if you show up in an old timey nightgown, he’s gonna be suspicious. anything other than that and you’re golden
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vengeancedemons:
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): yeah, probably. it’s the eternal damnation.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): right, me trying to shake you off the roof of my car was a clear sign of love.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): okay, but when i forget to bring home the groceries it’ll be your fault for making sure i forgot how to text you for the list.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): so, no chips.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): yeah.
[…]
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): see, johnson, i got your number.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): i’d take the risk again anyway.
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): [UNSENT] that’s how much i-
(✉️ ➡️ shake it up): what do i have to do to impress you in the romance department? walking through hell isn’t enough? tough crowd.
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): stop bringing that up like it's your ace in the hole, it's annoying
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you were matching my energy, personally i find that very sexy
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): OR YOU COULD LOOK IN THE FRIDGE BEFORE LEAVING?
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): so you know i want chips but you won't buy them because why? gotta compete for toolbag of the year :( you'd think your GIRLFRIEND was more important
[...]
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you won't if i delete it
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): [unsent] i know you're trying to be
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): [unsent] please don't get stuck again
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): you can't annoy me in person if you're trapped in another hell dimension so maybe no repeats?
(✉️ ➡️ highway to hell ): a home cooked meal.
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roi-des-voleurs:
Alright, Remy was probably overreacting just a little. But then Daisy had made a stink when he had dropped in–quite literally–on her, so this might have been a little payback. Besides, he really could not get over the hilarity of her getting a noodle stuck in her nose. “Oh pardon,” he hissed, switching over to a ridiculously overblown and still rather loud whisper instead, “You don’ want no one t’ know you were snortin’ noodles. Got it.” He nodded, trying to look serious and failing miserably.
“Done what? Gotten a noodle up my nose? Non, I don’ sniff my culinary creations dat closely.” Because that was the way he took her question. If she was asking if he had ever gotten something stuck somewhere more sensitive, Remy was not going to elaborate. “Projectin’? Oh sure, I’m really jealous o’ you. Doesn’t everyone want t’ get a noodle stuck up their nose?”
/
Remy was roasting her, and Daisy wasn’t sure what had happened — or maybe she had this image of him falling out of a window, and that was the defining moment for her. No man who fell out like he had could have any bite to his judgments… and yet Daisy was standing there, offended that Remy was looking at her like that. “You keep talking so loudly and I’m going to mention that time you were dangling out a window after you cheated at cards! Does everyone know you always have an ace up your sleeve or is that a special secret?”
Though, to be fair, he used those cards to facilitate his mutant power too. Multifunctional cards. “I hope the next time you cook, you get a jalapeno stuck in your nose. It’s what you deserve.” Daisy crossed her arms and put her nose in the air. “No I think you’re acting like you’ve never done that before — you’re not jealous, you’re just a liar.”
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vengeancedemons:
It was stupid. The whole thing was fucking stupid. There were two pigeons yelling at each other out the window, the neighbor’s wreath thing she’d hung on the fire escape (who hung wreaths for Halloween?) was shaking the metal platform trying to knock itself loose for some reason or another, and there was a ghost trying to sweet talk its way into the apartment across the hall because it was too polite to just phase through the door. The whole thing had Robbie distracted, not thinking straight.
So when the broom started floating, he’d reached out to grab it with the intent of putting it back on the ground.
Only he forgot, apparently, that he had shit luck and that the world was intent on hitting them with the stupidest apocalypse he’d ever seen. So, one minute he was grabbing the broom to keep it from flying off and the next, he was twenty feet up in the air, clinging to the thing for dear life while Daisy looked up at him from the ground below. Robbie ground his teeth together, jaw tightly clenched and knuckles white around the broomstick.
“Are you seriously pulling the ‘I told you so’ shit right now?” He yelled down gruffly, swallowing as he glanced down. The thing was getting higher, and his stomach felt like a vice with how tight the knot there was. “Can I — Are you fucking with me? I’m a hundred feet in the goddamn air, Daisy. Just because I’ve got a healing factor doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when I break every bone in my damn body.”
We would not break every bone, the Rider piped up. You are being dramatic. Let go, Reyes. If you control your landing, you can get away with only shattering your legs. I could have them fully healed in hours, at the most.
“I didn’t fucking ask you,” he grumbled under his breath. “We’re not letting go. We’re not breaking my legs.” Louder, so that Daisy could hear him, he added, “You’re not catching me. I’m pretty sure I’d break your neck, Johnson. Can’t you — I don’t know, get the broom down?”
“I didn’t say it like that!” Daisy tried to defend at first, but then she slipped back into a smile, crossing her arms as she put a hand over her mouth, trying to hide the absolute joy in her face at watching this all go down. “But I did tell you so.” If she was going to get in trouble for saying it — she might as well really say it, right? Shifting, she looked up at him, wondering if she should complement the view or not. Chances were, no matter what she said, he’d get even more pissed. So, she was happy to let him hover in the air for a while longer, laughing as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to get down.
“Is this the part where I’m supposed to tap my foot and ask if you’ve learned your lesson? Maybe don’t touch magically imbued items because you think you’ve got a handle on it?” Daisy grinned, trying to hold in another laugh. “Get it? Handle?”
She hadn’t considered that he might actually feel everything on the way down., She had always assumed that the Rider had taken the brunt of anything, that whatever Robbie felt was just an echo of the reality. “Okay but you’re not taking into consideration that I could totally dampen your fall. If I can make myself fly across the city, then I can definably slow your fall.” She thought about it for a moment before shrugging and adding quietly: “In theory, at least.”
He was arguing with himself up there. The Rider must have said something to set him off because he looked just as annoyed as ever. Reminded her of the way he looked at her when she first showed up at his place of work in LA. That quiet anger that was on the edge of exploding. The Rider must have agreed with her.
“Don’t be a baby, Reyes.” Because taunting him was clearly the solution. “And I’m sure I could. But that requires more… finesse.” And Daisy was more of a baseball bat than she was a scalpel. “Jumping is your best bet. And I’ll slow the fall with a cloud of controlled vibrations.” She was bullshitting him, but there was a chance she could — and if she couldn’t? He’d heal.
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@vengeancedemons
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(✉️ ➡️ dear brother ): i've never heard you speak at a reasonable volume
(✉️ ➡️ dear brother ): then again my opinion is that men should be seen not heard so anything above a whisper is a violation
(✉️ ➡️ dear brother ): oh dear god STOP IT SCOTT. STOP.
[ text ]: You need to stop shouting about Communism in public places. // @daisyquakes
(✉️ ➡️ Daisy): I wouldn’t have to shout if people would listen to me when I’m speaking at a reasonable volume.
(✉️ ➡️ Daisy): And besides, I’m not /wrong./ Capitalism /is/ a failing system. It’s hardly even a progressive thing to admit anymore. It’s more a matter of fact, at this point.
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"Can't go wrong with a fruit bouquet." Though those were expensive. And right on the line of flowers so that could send the wrong message if he gave it to someone who didn't know where their friendship landed. Daisy crossed her arms and looked up, humming as she tried to encourage her mind to function. "I would go with gag gifts. I mean — best way to see if a friendship is a friendship, test their humor."
“Not only does this time of year really leave me having to tell people I can’t eat all the food they made, but I also don’t know what to get my friends.” Gar sighed, twiddling his thumbs as he thought about the list of people he’d like to give gifts to this year. “Got any advice on how to give gifts to people you met a little while ago without having it be weird.”
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[ text ]: What a complete ball of Human-shaped trash.
@glxrious-purpose
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): HUMAN SHAPED TRASH
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): i actually really like that one
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): but i think you’ll find that’s more recycling than trash
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): trust me, people get a /lot/ worse, which doesn’t speak a lot to the human race ig
(✉️ ➡️ asgardian lofi ): do i get bonus points for alien dna at least?
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