dangernoodlerecap-blog

[dangernoodlerecap-blog]

Storytime: The Time I Publicly Blew A Doctor Who I Met Via Dick Pic

As all chicks with body image issues and eternal need for male validation do, I turned to posting nudes on reddit’s “Asians Gone Wild” as a way to soothe my grief over my recently deceased puppy. 

(Ugh. I’m too high to make that sound coherent because it was also incoherent in real life. Does that make any sense? Nothing in my life makes sense). 

Anyways, dude sends me his dick, claiming he’s a doctor. Now nowhere did I hint that I was a medical student but I was kinda turned on by that whole doctor/student dynamic so I complimented his dick. It was a nice dick. 

Anyways we talk, sext, eventually I reveal I’m a medical student so we can say sexy shit or whatever, eventually we figure out we live in the same city, eventually we figure out that HE IS A DR WHO DIRECTLY SUPERVISES MED STUDENTS FROM MY SCHOOL. 

So basically I was eventually gonna bump into this doc on clinical rotations, a doc who had already seen like, all of my pussy.

Well when you fuck things up and risk your career you might as well go big or go home.

We meet at some bar for boring middle aged people. (He was 32, not quite middle aged. Well. He did have a receding hairline).

5 minutes in and this guys finger is literally in my vagina, how did he even get in there, we’re in public, like how did this happen, why is my hand on his dick, oh my god that old woman just saw 

Rapey or Sexy? I probably ponder this question too much

But obv it’s soooo much more chill and casual to just treat it as a sexy thing so you go blow him in an alleyway (this isn’t the public part).

Second date I insist beforehand that it’s an actual date and not just a sex thing and he’s all respectful and shit and I’m all expecting to be wined and dined. 15 minutes later...he places my hand on his dick. He’s grabbing my butt. I’m awkward dirty talking things I don’t mean cause he started and I can’t just not go along with it. Ah yes, a true lady’s experience. Anyways we get drunk and go to the public park and I blow him apparently in front of a poor woman and her dog but I don’t even remember any of this happening due to being so drunk. 

Classy shit here.

Anyways he continues to sext me vigorously, every morning I could predict waking up to his dick, sighing, and faking horniness and sending some sexy whatever over because the lil bitch in me is thinking damn this guys a rich doc. Eventually figure out he has no intention of actually meeting or banging, and just wants like an on call sexting buddy. Like bitch I usually charge for this shit. So yeah now I’m ignoring his messages because I’m really preoccupied with my next adventure which is called “Fucking Old Millionaires For Money!” aka “Totally Not Prostitution!” seeya next time 

#drama story storytime

[dangernoodlerecap-blog]

An Introduction

I have too many secret double lives and no one to share them with. 

So this is a blog confessing all the crazy shit I do.

Me, outwardly: 22 year old female medical student who gets good grades and doesn’t go out much

Me, irl: 22 year old female medical student who is bulimic af and probably has some other disorder that causes her to do dangerous and self-destructive bullshit all the time for no goddamn reason

My favorite venues of self abuse: meaningless sex, degrading sex, sex for MONEY, alcohol, weed, complete isolation, reckless spending, posting nudes online, destroying relationships, and much more! 

I doubt anyone is actually gonna read my shit, but it feels nice just to shout this out in the world for no one to hear so I don’t have to keep so many goddamn secrets anymore. 

Lol did I do this tag thing right??? 

#introduction drama eatingdisorder bulimia 420 crazyshit storytime mentalillness