dareyadani

[dareyadani]

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

[dareyadani]

Trick or Treat?!

[dareyadani]

happy halloween! here is a ghost duet

[dareyadani]

this tweet has had me in tears for 10 hours now

[dareyadani]

[dareyadani]

XD

[dareyadani]

i have this headcanon that bokuto’s really good at like…….super trivial tasks. like, he almost never loses tic tac toe. he’s great at hopscotch.

“AAAKAAAAAAAAASSHHIIIIIII” echoes across the cafeteria as he tosses six grapes in a row into his mouth. whenever he throws something into a trash can it always makes it in, even if he’s across the room. he’s godly at the water bottle flip thing. he can aim perfectly with a rubber band or hair tie. never been beaten at darts. learned how to do a front flip when he was 12 for fun. can back flip off of chairs or something. every dog and cat comes when called. finds nickels everywhere.

and all of this means absolutely nothing but akaashi uses this to his advantage. “I bet bokuto-san can catch ten m&ms in his mouth in a row from here.” they laugh, but he does it. “i bet bokuto can front flip off of those stairs and land it.” he wins again. akaashi regularly wins money off of his teammates because bokuto literally cannot lose rock paper scissors. no one will make bets with him anymore.

“AKAASHI i bet i can flip this candy bar off of this spoon into my mouth!!!”

“of course you can, bokuto-san.”

[dareyadani]

❄ Haikyuu!! Winter Wallpapers ❄ Like/Reblog if used

[dareyadani]

Find someone who completely is in love with you. Find someone who makes you’re heart jump out of your chest just by saying hello or good morning. They should treat you like a queen and a best friend. You should get on their nerves as much as they get on yours but at the end of the night love them like it’s the last moment. Someone who calls you randomly because they miss you, who will cuddle you when you’re feeling bad, and rub your stomach when it hurts. Someone who kisses your forehead, cheeks and belly. Someone who reminds you that you’re beautiful every day even when you have the days where you feel the grossest.

There will be that person. & it’s your job to cherish them and love them.

[dareyadani]

KONDOU SHOURI HAS THE SAME UGLY LAUGH AS KUROO TETSUROU PASS IT ON

[dareyadani]

Let me just cry about tsukki’s development

[dareyadani]

Wandered-off babies crows trying to find their family with the help of the owls

(featuring said family being very worried)

[dareyadani]

Tsukishima Kei ✧ Happy Birthday! (September 27th)

[dareyadani]

Song I wrote in five seconds to express my mental breakdown

[dareyadani]

Check out this exclusive of Benedict Cumberbatch being a little teapot. It’s very exciting. What’s even more exciting is that you could win the chance to have tea with him AND receive two tickets to the premiere of Avengers: Infinity War! More info here.

[dareyadani]

we MUST protect this ray of sunshine 

[dareyadani]