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I fell for the world’s best troll
Tl;dr: If you’re about to say “I’m not reading this, it’s too long! Hoes mad!” Go ahead and fuck off immediately because you ain’t gonna enjoy this one.Many people have speculated on my “goal.” Including Dax. “Jamie just wants attention!” I do have reasons for all of this. But hoping that I’d inspire the support of a group of people predisposed to believing Dax would be idiotic. Your fans are not my audience.There is nothing that has happened so far that I didn’t already know would happen. Nothing said that I didn’t already know would be said. I can also tell you that destroying TDS is nowhere near my radar, either. And even if it were, it would be a fool’s errand. No, I’m very sure Dax will be just fine. And I want him to be, if you can believe that.Now, moving on to something I’ve waited a very long time for.I’m sure most are unaware how difficult it is to make Dax commit to an actual response to a question or an accusation. And when he does respond, it’s usually something weird and a little off-topic, making it confusing to say anything back. So to get him to finally respond to some of this is an opportunity I don’t plan on letting slide. Allow me to address the following!“Jamie is blaming Dax for ruining her marriage and she needs to take responsibility for it, instead.”I do not blame Dax for ruining my marriage. I blame Dax for offering me a fake option. One that, if I were to choose it, would have irrevocable consequences to my life. At the time, though the decision caused me an incredible amount of stress and pain to come to, it was true that he was the one I wanted to be with. BUT. If he hadn’t pursued me; if he had not given me the option, I would have continued my life without having it cross my mind. And maybe my marriage would have failed anyway. I would have much preferred it to have ended that way. The cruelty is in the fake option. It doesn’t matter how dumb I was in believing it was real.“I offered her room & board, and then some.”No, Dax. You didn’t. You offered me a full-on relationship. And you spent two months asking me to take your offer. And as soon as I did, you pulled the rug out from under me. I did not come to California for room & board. And I sure as hell NEVER would have come to California to be in a “thruple.”“I know that her husband kicked her out of the house for running up credit card debt and secretly being addicted to adderall five months before I ever met her, that’s about it!”Dax, I’m sorry but you can not use my embarrassing details against me in order to scare me, the way you do to everyone else. And you certainly can’t do it WHILE you’re telling lies.I told you all about the adderall. How it was my way of shutting out the pain of Chris and Alyssa’s relationship, and the way both things spiraled. You went-on many times to tell me how fucked up it was, the way he was treating me. You knew it wasn’t a secret, either. Never once was it a secret.I told you about our money issues with the business and how he blamed them all on me. You told me I was being too hard on myself and that I had, and I quote, “beaten. wife. syndrome.”You knew all about my money problems, including the fact that I didn’t have enough credit, after the separation, to even get a credit card because we always put credit in his name. You knew that I hadn’t even HAD a credit card since 2009. This may be an honest mistake on your part, though. Maybe you’re confusing me with the $9,000 in credit card debt your other girlfriend racked up recently. Not including the nose job she was petrified to tell you about for some reason. It’s not even that big of a deal.Additionally, to say you had limited knowledge of “why” I was kicked out is just straight up bullshit. In fact, you had a whole list of “it’s not your fault” theories as to why. Including, but not limited to, “He just wanted you gone so he could play ‘King of the Mountain’ at his small-time little CrossFit box in nothing Tyler, Texas.”Don’t worry, I won’t be as critical of your own substance abuse, though. Or the past substance abuse of those close to you. Because you taught me to have a very different perspective on it. Formerly, your generous acceptance and understanding of substance abuse and why it happens impressed me. I’m very sorry to see you all of a sudden use it as a weapon.“Kicked out of the house.”Do you really want to use kicking someone out of the house as a means of ridicule? Let’s just forget that you at least pretended to side with me on that…You kicked your girlfriend out of the house right in front of my face.And then proceeded to defile every inch of that house with me while crying, “Poor Marie! She’s so crazy and she can’t help it!” But let’s just compare the two scenarios, shall we?Dax- Breaks up with Marie, all for me to see (for the 2nd of at least 5 times total) and makes her pack her things and leave the house immediately after getting back from Ojai. Tells me that it is “very sad, and very permanent” and repeats this sentiment many times to me in the following weeks.Chris- Asks me for a temporary separation after some discord in the last year of the 15 years that we spent together, so that we can get some space before trying to work things out. the temporary nature of this being clear to not only he and I, but also understood by both Dax and Marie. I never gave either of them a differing position. In fact, Dax, more than once, threw a tantrum about this. There’s a whole episode writeup that he wrote out of anger over this. Told me he “forgot what it was like to write with hate in his heart.” Before profusely apologizing. Another time, he told me that he didn’t just want to be a “consolation prize” if Chris and I didn’t work out. I had to placate him with a sonnet about how I “couldn’t see my future anymore because of him.”So tell me again, what it proves that I was “kicked out of the house.”“It is profoundly sad to me that Jamie is letting Jessie use her like a click bait cum rag after showing distain for him previously.” (Oh also, “my intuition was correct” whatever in the fuck that means)I showed you very public and prolonged adoration and what did you treat ME like? A girlfriend? No. The only person you ever said I was your girlfriend in front of was your drug dealer. She hates you now, BTW. After I kept going to her to get a myriad of things to dull the pain of what you put me through. All the Zanax she sold me because I told her, “I just want to be able to sleep.” Go ahead and make fun of me, though, for that. For being dumb enough to actually have believed you. And your show. And all the talent you had that didn’t include shitting on Maddox. Go ahead.“This isn’t embarrassing! Look at all my game!” “Why is Jamie spiraling out of control? It’s because a lifetime without my love is torment.” etc.Thank you. Thank you for finally showing me a glimpse into why you’ve done all of this. I admit it. You’re such a chad, Dax. You’ve got bikini babes nuking their lives to be with you. Congratulations are in order. I’m sure lots of your fans will be very impressed. I know I am. Go ahead and screenshot it. Share it. Quote it.Personally, I’m glad to see you lean-in on this. For all the times I asked you if this is what you did to me, or insisted that I must have been some trophy for your ego- only to have you blow the fuck up at me; swore that I was being crazy; swearing that every single word you ever said to me was true- all the way through the end… Thank you for finally sacking up and admitting this. Maybe you couldn’t admit it to your biggest fan, but it seems you can to the rest of them.And I’m not even being sarcastic. THIS… this, I’m cool with. “Jamie was such an idiot to believe Dick.” I‘m pretty cool with that, too.But next time you feel like asking someone to be with you, don’t lie so much about who you are. That way, you’ll be way less likely to have some psycho broad wallowing in pain and confusion over some fake version of you, for any amount of time, that doesn’t even exist.You’re Dick Masterson, after all! What in the heck else should I have seen in you??! Definitely NOT what it was that I did…
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