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literally I’m right here. WhT the fuck. I hate horny drunks. Nothing good comes out of it. It’s always fucking gross because people are around

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ugh gross

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i feel like an asshole all the time. I’m tired of people walking all over me so sometimes I’m guarded and meaner than I used to be. and when I don’t let myself get taken advantage of, I feel like a bitch. I’m so tired of that feeling. Especially when I have like no one to talk to about how I’m feeling. I’m on my own.

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lately

spiraling whenever the person who hurt me pops back into my head, do whatever ungodly reason. I wish he would stay away. he did such awful things and I have to just remember them at any given time?? and feel like shit because he treated me as such?? that’s,, not fair. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t know how to avoid it.

feeling weird about getting older. turning 21 soon. that’s so old?? i’ll be able to drink and buy alcohol?? I’m going into my senior year of college, if i can even complete the year. I used to be so passionate and school and learning, so driven—now my mental state is in shambles and I’m going to be an independent adult soon. That’s fucking terrifying.

I can’t even talk about the trich. I was doing fine then oops, picked out a ton of my eyebrow. I’ve dealt with this as long as I can remember, but it doesn’t change how ashamed of myself I feel once I come to my senses that I picked too much.

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It’s so weird to see my old posts reblogged from when I was in an abusive relationship. my life is so different now, but that wasn’t so long ago… it’s like being a different person but still having to carry the weight of a past life, if that makes sense. that’s not /me/ anymore, but none of it goes away. it always hurts.

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why do I always feel like my friends hang out with me out of obligation

Like they’d rather be hanging out with someone else

Like I’m just backup entertainment, not nearly as satisfactory as another option

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do I have to do EVERYTHING??

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why the fuck did you think this was a good idea??

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I’m so fucking tired

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IM SO GLAD YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO VENT TO

MUST BE NICE

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Stop texting while driving oh my god

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look at me I’m complaining

blah blah blah

I can only talk about my problems here because if I talk about them out loud, other people will get sad and feel like they did something wrong or feel like I’m being unfair

And all of those are bad outcomes so

into the void it goes

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being asexual and single is really lonely :/

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am I really that undesirable?

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ugh we get it you’re happy and in loveee

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i wish i could drop out of college

the only thing keeping me here is the student loan debt that i’ve accumulated, the overwhelming amount of disappointment that my parents would send my way, and the fact that i MIGHT want to get a job in my current field of study.

i’m just so physically and emotionally tired, and mentally ill. i don’t have the energy for this.

#academic stress #gifted kid burnout #drop out

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yes, please hit your juul over and over again in this enclosed space when my asthmatic ass is in the back seat :)