dearkenc

[dearkenc]

090720, Taguig 0920H

Dear Ken,

Today you’re still far from the person you want to be. Until then, you won’t be dating anyone. You need to work on yourself first.

Be, You are a good son to your father, a good brother to your brother, a good uncle to your nieces, a good friend to your friends.

Do, You are kindest to yourself. You only do things that are healthy for you.

Have, You have a high sense of self-worth.

[dearkenc]

081720, Taguig, 2038H

Sheila Tan: How far are you from the person you want to be?

[dearkenc]

08042020, 0732H

You opened your laptop’s Viber and it opened to your May-June conversations with Dan. Much simpler, happier times. Fast forward to August, you’re feeling very sad. Namimiss mo sya.

Yung pagmamahal na gusto mo ibigay kay Dan, ibibigay mo muna sa sarili mo. Focus on self improvement. Work on yourself.

[dearkenc]

August 3, 2020, 2143H

You opened your Grindr, explored Bobon and Catarman in Samar and sized up the competition. You remembered Dan saying he likes looking at the eyes. You saw some guys in his area with good eyes. You were feeling very jealous, so you closed your app and wrote this letter.

You are going to let go of whatever you’re feeling now for Dan. He is just a friend. You can drink all the swiss miss/magnolia full cream milk, pale pilsen in the world... eat all the jap mayo/liver spread, lay’s/manchego, buko pie in the planet... watch all of his favorite films over and over, and you and Dan will still never happen.

[dearkenc]

August 3, 2020, 1418H

Just now you played your phone’s ringtone. You miss Dan and his calls.

[dearkenc]

July 22, 2020, 1523H

Today you’re feeling worst than ☝️. Forgive yourself. Start again.

July 12, 2020, 2301H

Tonight you’re feeling shitty. You’ll start fresh tomorrow. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

[dearkenc]

July 22, 2020, 1222H

Dear Ken,

Dan leaves for Samar tomorrow. You wish him well. You will miss him a lot. You don’t know when you’ll see each other again. Hang in there. You will be ok.

[dearkenc]

July 12, 2020, 2301H

Tonight you’re feeling shitty. You’ll start fresh tomorrow. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

[dearkenc]

Wag mo sambahin pagiging introvert mo. Be a better friend. Reach out. Sharing is caring. Learn from experiences of others. When making personal, life-changing decisions, it is ok to be selfish. Righhhhhht? - Dan Chan, July 12, 2020, en route to Better Living from Tagaytay for lunch

[dearkenc]

[dearkenc]

July 12, 2020, 0131H

Dear Ken,

Right now, you’re feeling very anxious.

You are worried about losing your job. You have been worried about it for many months now but you are having a difficult time looking for a new job. You don’t think your savings will be enough.

You’re also feeling very overwhelmed.

You are very sad about Dan. You are feeling very sentimental. After your date later with him, you don’t know when you’ll see him again. He inspires you. He challenges you to be better: on how to express yourself, how to assert yourself, how to take care of yourself better and how to be a better friend. You want him to be your boyfriend but Dan is not in the same place that you are now. Dan is not giving you false hopes, you appreciate that and you admire him even more for that. You aspire to be like him. You want to emulate his most positive qualities. You hope even if he leaves, he’ll continue to be a friend. You also just looked out of your window; the same way Dan did a few days ago. You saw from your window where Eric stayed for a night when you broke up with him last January. You thought about him, then Jason and then Dan again. It has only been half a year but you think you’ve been through a lot already emotionally.

You are writing this letter because unlike Dan, you don’t have a plan and you don’t know yourself. Right now, you are also feeling very lost. You hope this letter would help. You think this letter would help.

Five years from now, you already fully paid your housing loan. That means you saved at least Php50,000 every month. You also want to have a good amount of savings in your bank account. You are also more conscientious of how you spend your money.

Five years from now, you are a country director or CEO for QFPay or a similar company. Right now, you think you need an MBA to do that. But you also think finding a good mentor can be a good alternative. When you find an opportunity, you want to ask Tim/Will to be your mentor. You also want to continue expanding your role in QFPay.

Five years from now, you are very fluent with your Mandarin.

Five years from now, you have a better hold of your feelings. You think carefully before acting on something. You listen to your friends. Rei, Bart, EJ, Mich and Dan - you value them the most out of all your friends. You always reach out to them and your other friends. You also always reach out to your family.

Five years from now, you are committed to someone who loves you and challenges you to be better. He cares for you a lot. Sex is great. He can support himself financially. It is not an open relationship. You are faithful. You don’t have an alter account. You don’t do hook-ups.

Five years from now, you are in a better shape. Emotionally, physically and financially. Things are ok. Things will be ok. You got this.

[dearkenc]